Domestic Abuse

[tsth]

#1 Christians really need to rethink how we are approaching the covenant of marriage. IMO, this generation of children does not have proper understanding of what "Covenant" marriage is, if they were trained up in how important this covenant is to God (2 become 1 flesh) then, we would be very cautious about the pre-marital stage and become more reverent of the act of marriage.

#2 (having said that, if one does end up marrying one who totally deceived, and is now becoming abusive) Then the believer is to rely on the Lord God Almighty to deal with the one who deceived in regard to the COVENANT of marriage. God is just, and will Himself deal with one who was wicked in regard to the marriage covenant. But, a woman is NOT to divorce, she should separate, and then stand back, because God will be dealing with that man who took advantage of one of God's children.

2 Thess. 1:5 All this is evidence that God's judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering. 6 God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you 7 and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well.

In His Love,

Suzanne

[kari21]

OK....as far as I'm aware, in the Bible, God only allows divorce for adultery or desertion. So Biblically, is the wife of an abuser bound to stay with her husband?

THAT'S what I'm wrestling with in my mind...

[tsth]

OK....as far as I'm aware, in the Bible, God only allows divorce for adultery or desertion. So Biblically, is the wife of an abuser bound to stay with her husband?

THAT'S what I'm wrestling with in my mind...

I don't think we have a correct biblical view on divorce....We've assumed that in some cases it is acceptable. It is, but, not if you're planning to get remarried. The Scriptures are very clear..........a woman is not to be released from any covenant of marriage, UNLESS, her husband dies. Then she is free to remarry, so if one is planning to divorce, she had better consider whether she is going to (A) remain unmarried or (B) reconcile with her husband. That is where a separation comes in, with regard to abuse.

Biblical View Regarding Divorce

In His Love,

Suzanne

[damo1]

I was wondering...just what ARE a persons Christian options when it comes to being married to a person that physically abuses them? Is divorce out of the question from a Biblical point of view?

Are you really asking is remarriage out of the question in the case of a divorce instigated by abuse?

A "Christian" marriage is supposed to bring glory to G-d. If one spouse is being beaten up by the other spouse, how can that be glorifying to G-d in any way? I don't think it's rocket science...the offended spouse needs to leave and take the kids and see a lawyer ASAP.

from damo1

if we are to use lawayers and go against gods word what example are we leaving to our children and those that we are trying to reach out to if one does not look at the living word closely how can they stat jesus died on the cross for our sins pastors and those who counsel people know what is best and i have seen wear the lord has brought brokken down marragies together to wear repentance came on both sides and then healing came we are to walk accordingly to gods word pual even states christians need to sort thing out among them selves and not bring it to court god wil hold us acountable to what we say and do while we are alive on this earth and i know one thing i would not want to come againg the living god on judgment day and have him say go away from me i do not know you

we need to be reaching out and setting out an example for the next generation not doing what the world does

from damo1

[Marnie]

OK....as far as I'm aware, in the Bible, God only allows divorce for adultery or desertion. So Biblically, is the wife of an abuser bound to stay with her husband?

I don't think desertion is a Biblical ground for divorce. Adultery is, but even then, the word is actually "pornea," which means any kind of deviant sexual behavior, including but not limited to adultery. Also, another issue would be what Jesus taught about lusting after someone in your mind as being equivalent to committing the act itself. My point in bringing that up is that I'm not so sure that the issue of a "Biblical" divorce is as clear as some think it is, covenants not withstanding. The very nature of a covenant is that two people are involved; has an abuser not broken the covenant by his actions? In such a case, does a covenant even exist? I think it's foolhardy to elevate a marriage covenant to such a height that it is untouchable.

If your life was in danger, would you stay with your husband? More to the point, would you allow your kids to live in danger of their well being? What kind of mother would that make you? I think when you're black and blue and live in fear, the time for these academic discussions is over....it's time to bring the law in and see a lawyer.

[Marnie]

from damo1

if we are to use lawayers and go against gods word what example are we leaving to our children and those that we are trying to reach out to if one does not look at the living word closely how can they stat jesus died on the cross for our sins pastors and those who counsel people know what is best and i have seen wear the lord has brought brokken down marragies together to wear repentance came on both sides and then healing came we are to walk accordingly to gods word pual even states christians need to sort thing out among them selves and not bring it to court god wil hold us acountable to what we say and do while we are alive on this earth and i know one thing i would not want to come againg the living god on judgment day and have him say go away from me i do not know you

we need to be reaching out and setting out an example for the next generation not doing what the world does

from damo1

You're joking, right?

How about the example you, as a battered wife, are showing to your kids?? You do realize staying in a marriage where you are beaten to a pulp is teaching your children that: (1) it's OK to hit your spouse, and (2) your daughter will likely marry someone just like her father, the thug. Yeah, now that's a wonderful example for the next generation to follow. How about the 'love" you are showing your kids, too, putting them in harm's way.

Man, you need to live in the real world, here.

[kari21]

OK....as far as I'm aware, in the Bible, God only allows divorce for adultery or desertion. So Biblically, is the wife of an abuser bound to stay with her husband?

THAT'S what I'm wrestling with in my mind...

I don't think we have a correct biblical view on divorce....We've assumed that in some cases it is acceptable. It is, but, not if you're planning to get remarried. The Scriptures are very clear..........a woman is not to be released from any covenant of marriage, UNLESS, her husband dies. Then she is free to remarry, so if one is planning to divorce, she had better consider whether she is going to (A) remain unmarried or (B) reconcile with her husband. That is where a separation comes in, with regard to abuse.

Biblical View Regarding Divorce

In His Love,

Suzanne

The link keeps coming up as an error, tsth.

Well, how many women did marry "Mr. Perfect" only to find out LATER he was an abuser? Also, how long should a separation be if he keeps promising to change and never does? What's the difference in a life-long separation and divorce?

[tsth]

Hmmm?

Dear Kari,

Try this:

http://www.worthyboards.com/index.php?show...=66011&st=0

In His Love,

Suzanne

[Guest Biblicist]

Biblically speaking. . .

Biblical counseling should be the FIRST step. Find a pastor who will biblically counsel you and your spouse on this matter.

If the counselor does not invite the Holy Spirit [our own personal counselor] into the sessions, leave and find another.

[chicagoburbite]

OK....as far as I'm aware, in the Bible, God only allows divorce for adultery or desertion. So Biblically, is the wife of an abuser bound to stay with her husband?

THAT'S what I'm wrestling with in my mind...

This is one of those times when "sin" has the ripple effect, and breaks down the perfect plan of God. The abuser is sinning, and the result of his or her sin of abuse affects those around them. In my oppinion, one does not need to stay with an abuser merely on the fact that God looks down upon divorce. The abuse is a long term sin that affects not only the spouse, but the children. I feel that the abuser needs to be confronted by the spouse and a strong army of Believer's in an "intervention" type scenario. IF the abuser is repentant, and has a plan of action (which is implied in the term "repentant"), then rebuilding the marriage is not out of the question.

There are times when sin disrupts the perfect plan God desires for each of us. An example of that is the command to Honor one's mother and father. If one of them is sexually abusing the child, sin has disrupted the perfect plan of the Lord's that 1.a parent is to bring up a child in the way of the Lord, and 2.the child is to honor (obey) the mother and father. Is a child supposed to allow the sexual abuse because the parent is pushing it upon them.. and to go against it would be not obeying that parent as God has commanded? NO! Sin has broken down the perfect plan, and has caused that ripple affect I mentioned above. The child does not need to continue to allow that sexual abuse simply because the Bible commands he/she obeys the parent.