Marriage & Divorce question

[blackbeauty]

Maybe I'm oversimplifying things, but God knows the heart of people. It might now make something "right" or "ideal", but I just don't diminish the blood by saying that people can get themselves into situation that God will not be always working on/working with.

I guess I consider that He always seeks to bless us - but that the Word is full of instructions about how to obtain "the peaceful fruit of righteousness." I think that people really can be happier and even BETTER people with someone other than their spouse...for a million reasons, legitimate or illegitimate.

But, it would seem to me that there would always be just a piece of self-condemnation lurking about to show it's head from time to time. God doesn't want that for us and He's not implementing it. But - you know, that's just how it works down here.

But not blessing people? I mean, God IS LOVE IS GOD IS LOVE IS GOD, etc.

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Scenario #2 is a slam dunk easy one - that marriage, if entered into in love and good counseling about the potential snags in the path...Gosh, I know a couple of marriages that I would be LUCKY to have their relationship and they started that way.

Typically, and this is fine, men feel trapped and sometimes the woman can, too. It can be worked through, but is often times, not.

You know, I've known CHRISTIAN HUSBANDS who were ticked off when their WIVES got pregnant. Real jerks.

Not a slam dunk answer about that - if people love and are unselfish - it's got a better shot than even people who "follow the rules"...really, I've seen it all.

For the record - I believe getting married, then having a child is the best...but if I *HAD* to choose (which we don't) b/w a strained unchristian "Christian" marriage, and a loving relationship where people actually treated each other in a Christlike manner and a baby came before the wedding, I'd choose the latter.

Those are NOT the only options and I'm not implying they are...just making a point.

[Richard_yaash]

Maybe I'm oversimplifying things

Welcome to Worthy Blackbeauty

[Smalcald]

in the case of scenario 1.

where is the repentance? no, i don't think God is going to bless that marriage. this is still an adulterous relationship. now, maybe later down the road if they come to repentance and become christians, God may bless them, maybe, although i have some doubts about that, but they will still have the consequences of their sin to bear.

in the case of scenario 2.

yes, i believe God can bless such a marriage. they've already played house and gotten knocked up, and God would prefer them to marry at this point. however, if the couple is not christian, they're not going to get the same kind of blessings they would if they were to submit to the Lord. furthermore, the couple has cheated themselves out of God's most precious gift of intimacy. they will never know the full joy of sexual intimacy in their marriage, as God had intended it to be. and this is true of anyone who has had premarital sex, whether or not it results in a baby.

I would believe along these lines, although I am not totally sure.

Chuck Colson tells of a man who came to Christ in his ministry. The guy was born again after leading a life of doing pretty bad things for which he was in prison. Now when he got out of prison one thing still clung to him and that was a murder he committed in drunken state as a teenager and was never arrested or convicted for. As a Christian he realized that the murder was forgiven by God, but he also realized after much agonizing that he must pay the consequences, he was recently married to another Christian women, but still went to the police and admitted his guilt. He was given fifteen years and is in prison today, but he is freer than he has ever been and his wife is waiting for him.

I think this story relates directly to those who commit adultery in their marriage and then want to marry the adulterous person. There is simply no scripture that would support this at all. Repentance means change it means turning from sin, if you marry the person who you cheated with it is the same as a robber stealing and then repenting but keeping the loot. It is not true repentance.

On the other hand what do you do ten years down the line after marrying; when you realize this?

[kat8585]

I don't believe that people who know better commit adultery, then divorce without grounds, then remarry, and later "repent", can be blessed. They know exactly what they're doing when they are doing it. If they truly repent, they will separate. Part of repentance is turning from the sin.

[Guest Greg Davies]

I think this story relates directly to those who commit adultery in their marriage and then want to marry the adulterous person. There is simply no scripture that would support this at all. Repentance means change it means turning from sin, if you marry the person who you cheated with it is the same as a robber stealing and then repenting but keeping the loot. It is not true repentance.

On the other hand what do you do ten years down the line after marrying; when you realize this?

I don't think two wrongs make a right. If one has married the one they committed adultery with, when they come to godly sorrow and repentance the only thing left to do at that point is ask everyone involved for forgiveness and know that the Blood cleanses from all sin and move on. To divorce again and create all the heartache and brokeness associated with divorce is certainly not supported by scripture.

God commands us all to forgive those who sin against us and we shouldn't be held in bondage to those who refuse to forgive us. That's their problem, not ours. If the Blood is as powerful as we believe, then the blessing of the Lord has to be upon the truly repentant. He dwells with the broken and contrite heart. Neither the breaking of marraige vows which leads to divorce nor adultery are unforgiveable sins.

Greg.

[kat8585]

To divorce again and create all the heartache and brokeness associated with divorce is certainly not supported by scripture.

I don't believe they are married in God's eyes, just because they go thru a ceremony. In fact, it's more of an insult to God if they have a church wedding.

[sheya joie]

I think this story relates directly to those who commit adultery in their marriage and then want to marry the adulterous person. There is simply no scripture that would support this at all. Repentance means change it means turning from sin, if you marry the person who you cheated with it is the same as a robber stealing and then repenting but keeping the loot. It is not true repentance.

On the other hand what do you do ten years down the line after marrying; when you realize this?

I don't think two wrongs make a right. If one has married the one they committed adultery with, when they come to godly sorrow and repentance the only thing left to do at that point is ask everyone involved for forgiveness and know that the Blood cleanses from all sin and move on. To divorce again and create all the heartache and brokeness associated with divorce is certainly not supported by scripture.

God commands us all to forgive those who sin against us and we shouldn't be held in bondage to those who refuse to forgive us. That's their problem, not ours. If the Blood is as powerful as we believe, then the blessing of the Lord has to be upon the truly repentant. He dwells with the broken and contrite heart. Neither the breaking of marraige vows which leads to divorce nor adultery are unforgiveable sins.

Greg.

Well, let me throw a monkey wrench in here. What about in the books of Ezra and Nehemiah, where the men returning from captivity in Babylon were marrying foreign wives, and were commanded to divorce those wives?

(Btw, I'm not really sure what to think about that either. But it popped to mind when I read the sentence I bolded above.)

[kat8585]

Well, let me throw a monkey wrench in here. What about in the books of Ezra and Nehemiah, where the men returning from captivity in Babylon were marrying foreign wives, and were commanded to divorce those wives?

I was also thinking of this, among other things, in my post above yours.

[Guest Biblicist]

Questions...

There are numerous places in the Bible where it gives man permission to divorce his wife, but only one time does it mention woman divorcing her husband and it says, she commits adultry if she divorces her husband. Why is that? Does it carry over to today's culture?

How do you know when it is a union that "God has joined together" and when it is not?

Thanks!

[kat8585]

I don't see how it can be a union that God has joined when one of them is divorced without biblical grounds. I don't see how it can ever be right