Lent

[David of Derby]

Today is the first Sunday of Lent as I'm certain you're all aware. Lent is a time to reflect on our sins, examine ourselves and try to amend our ways. I found out today that, about three months ago, I said something to a friend of mine that had her in tears of fury before I went off for my last weekend with my ex. When I returned I told her my relationship had ended and instead of having nothing further to do with me as she'd intended, this friend stuck around from that day to this and has comforted me and helped me through this difficult time more than anyone else I know. She never mentioned how upset she'd been by what I'd said.

Needless to say, the revelation came as a bit of shock. I apologised to her without reservation, and she says she's forgiven me for it and knows I didn't intend to hurt her, but I feel intensely guilty regardless. I have no idea how to go about making this up to her, although I intend to try.

I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts on this specific issue - I won't relate what I said to upset this girl so much as it's rather personal, but any comments on contrition more generally would be welcome - and the larger issue of repentence, atonement and generally amending our lives. Thanks everyone.

[OneLight]

All you can do is ask for her forgiveness and try not to do it again. That is why we need to examine what we say and how we say it, always. We all put our foot in our moths from time to time, so don't beat yourself up for being human. I'm sure that she even has done it now and then. It also sounds like she had already forgiven you. If she was angry, she would of never been there for you.

You're title says lent. This practice should be done every day of the year, not just once a year for a certain period of time..

OneLight

[redwing]

All you can do is ask for her forgiveness and try not to do it again. That is why we need to examine what we say and how we say it, always. We all put our foot in our moths from time to time, so don't beat yourself up for being human. I'm sure that she even has done it now and then. It also sounds like she had already forgiven you. If she was angry, she would of never been there for you.

You're title says lent. This practice should be done every day of the year, not just once a year for a certain period of time..

OneLight

[David of Derby]

Certianly it should, but it struck me as significant that, with all the time that's passed since I did this, she should tell me about it now. I don't think it was an accident, somehow.

[OneLight]

Certianly it should, but it struck me as significant that, with all the time that's passed since I did this, she should tell me about it now. I don't think it was an accident, somehow.

I Love it when God works in His timing. Because of His timing, He brought you to ask this about yourself. If it had been at any other time, it may not of affected you in such a manner! Isn't He Wonderful?

Praise God!

OneLight

[Hunterpoet]

What you told her is important...did you intend to hurt her, did you tell the truth. If we are truthfull with someone with no intent to hurt there feelings, then what quilt should we feel if the truth hurts their feelings.

How did you discover this, did she tell you?

No matter, if you never intended to hurt her feelings and were telling the truth. Accept her forgivness and just go on as nothing happened. I'm not so sure you need to do anything special, it seems as if she is quite content with just having you as a friend.

[KimOC2008]

You're title says lent. This practice should be done every day of the year, not just once a year for a certain period of time..

OneLight

Lent is a Catholic practice isn't it? This is an interesting topic in itself because my Catholic friend is perfectly ok with drinking herself into oblivion just about every weekend but has "given up" alcohol for Lent because she thinks it will win her brownie points in Heaven. Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly and pray for her daily, I just think it's funny (not haha funny) how hypocritical this tradition is.

Don't mean to offend anyone, just stating an opinion is all.

[Guest LadyC]

she probably chose this time to tell you because she has forgiven you and is able to let you know without it tearing her up all over again. consider it a gentle rebuke with the intent of helping you be more cautious with your words in the future.

and quit beating yourself up. she forgave you before you knew to apologize, so obviously during the time when you were oblivious, you had made up for it in some way or other... probably by just being YOU.

beating yourself up over it now is just going to make HER feel guilty for having told you. it will make things awkward and uncomfortable. so quit it.

spend this time of lent in self sacrifice for the Lord. not for your friend, but for God. spend it getting closer to Him. she will see that in you and be glad.

[Guest LadyC]

You're title says lent. This practice should be done every day of the year, not just once a year for a certain period of time..

OneLight

Lent is a Catholic practice isn't it? This is an interesting topic in itself because my Catholic friend is perfectly ok with drinking herself into oblivion just about every weekend but has "given up" alcohol for Lent because she thinks it will win her brownie points in Heaven. Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly and pray for her daily, I just think it's funny (not haha funny) how hypocritical this tradition is.

Don't mean to offend anyone, just stating an opinion is all.

many protestants also observe lent. not as a ritual, or to win brownie points, but as a way of mastering their own fleshly desires. last year i gave up nagging. it did wonders for my relationship with God AND with my husband.

this year i'm giving up the computer and tv in the mornings until after i've finished my bible studying.

it takes 30 days to break a bad habit. 40 days is long enough to exchange a bad habit for a good one that lasts the whole year long.

[Joelle]

I have been thinking about Lent for a while too, even before last Sunday, wondering how I could spend this special time differently. I'm focusing on praying this year, and especially intercessing for others. I mean, not just praying, but also doing a bit of studying on the matter.

As for what happened between you and your friend, I would think too that she needed some time to sort out her feelings before telling you the whole thing. I also think that she did mean it when she said she totally forgave you, so the best thing you should do is accept it as it is, and thank God for blessing you with such a truthful friend.

And by the way...

it takes 30 days to break a bad habit. 40 days is long enough to exchange a bad habit for a good one that lasts the whole year long.

Well said LadyC!