Have any of you had to cut off Contact with a grown child?

[BFP]

Thank You ShaneO:>) This child has been trouble from the time he was a toddler, more trouble than you'll ever know! He hasn't taken us cutting off contact very lightly...now he is calling random people and telling them all kinds of stories:>) It's actually kind of funny because the people he is making these calls to aren't people who really know us but they are people we have been aquanted with over the years in a vague kind of way. (I guess all the better to be believed, in his mind) What he doesn't realize is that they get off the phone with the knowledge that he is a very strange person they don't want calling...but he calls back, over and over and over again!. We are quite embarrassed that he is harrassing people this way but can do nothing to stop it:>)

That is just the way he is, the way he has always been...if I can't get you one way I will get you another...

I am thankful for all your prayers, and I have the hope that the Lord will change him someday

[BFP]

Thank You ShaneO:>) This child has been trouble from the time he was a toddler, more trouble than you'll ever know! He hasn't taken us cutting off contact very lightly...now he is calling random people and telling them all kinds of stories:>) It's actually kind of funny because the people he is making these calls to aren't people who really know us but they are people we have been aquanted with over the years in a vague kind of way. (I guess all the better to be believed, in his mind) What he doesn't realize is that they get off the phone with the knowledge that he is a very strange person they don't want calling...but he calls back, over and over and over again!. We are quite embarrassed that he is harrassing people this way but can do nothing to stop it:>)

That is just the way he is, the way he has always been...if I can't get you one way I will get you another...

I am thankful for all your prayers, and I have the hope that the Lord will change him someday

Good on you, ma'am. Don't give up. By the way, you have a beautiful place and beautiful family! What's your first name? I would love to pray for you.

It's Tammy:>) Thanks for the compliment! We love it here! The website needs work though, I actually had to take down my origional one and move it to another site...my son again...so I am still working on this one:>) We're still on dialup pictures take forever to upload. My son is not on it...he is so funny...got upset with me last year because he wasn't on it, so I posted some pics I took...then he threatened to sue me for having pics of him up...ahhhhh always something:>)

Thanks so much for the prayers!

[Guest]

[Guest Biblicist]

You are very right, Brother Joe, this situation needs to be bathed in prayer. And having friends and family there to support and pray for you is crucial.

I think, BFP, you have to make the call whether or not your son is "a brother" in the LORD. If he is, GREAT Matthew 18 and 1 Corinthains 5 and Galatians 6:1 will be the perfect avenue to take. Difficult yes, but Scriptural.

However, if he is not...and this takes a great deal of discernment on your part [can a person lose their salvation, if they were ever a believer to begin with?]... Then you can do nothing but come out from among him and be separate.

[NLT] 2 Corinthains 6

14 Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? 16 And what union can there be between God's temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said:

"I will live in them and walk among them.

I will be their God, and they will be my people.

17 Therefore, come out from among unbelievers,

and separate yourselves from them, says the Lord.

Don't touch their filthy things, and I will welcome you.

18 And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters,

says the Lord Almighty."

Ephesians 5:6 Don't be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. 7 Don't participate in the things these people do.

Either way you have God's word to back you up, and you can rest in the fact that God has everything in His control and He is with you, as well as your son, through this time.

Our relationship with the LORD will cause divisions in our homes.

Luke 12

51 Do you think I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I have come to divide people against each other! 52 From now on families will be split apart, three in favor of me, and two against

[Bubba4J]

[odditblue]

praying for you... lots and lots of prayers.

[mrs]

I don't believe in generational curses... but has anyone considered the possibility of demonic influence?

[AnotherTraveler]

My 21 year old has been abusive for years, and quite recently we have decided to cut off all contact with him. Believe me he hasn't given us much of a choice. The problem is that I am not sure if this is 'right' in God's eyes, and if it is not then how much can a family take? I am talking severe behaviours, not typical teen behavoirs. I know you're going to ask about diagnoses's here, and there have been none, thanks to the fact that psychiatrists seem to just wash thier hands of him very quickly when he does land in a hospital. There are some very deep issues going on here including psychosis episodes and the like. This is not an adopted child, nor is it an abused child. He is far beyond 'strong willed'

The only choice we seem to have is to have absolutely no contact. I am hoping and praying that some day God heals him and changes him but until then he is a danger to himself and others. He is homeless, has never been able to make freinds because he only cares about himself and what others can give him. He scares people (not in a physical way, but because, as my other kids say, he is creepy in some weird and wacky way) At this point, and after doing everything we can to try and help this kid we can't do anymore.

He calls all hours of the night cursing us because he can't have his way on what ever he is trying to get from us at the moment. He deliberately tries you make you feel like you are the one that is crazy...

A couple of weeks ago he was trying to tell us to leave our home because he caused some kind of trouble and someone was going to come to our home and kill everyone here...it just never ends:>) I ask God to help him all the time, but what do we do in the meantime? Is it unloving to cut him off?

As has been said, this calls for much prayer.

One of my sons that returned from Iraq was in Walter Reed Army Hospital for several months for mental issues, and his behaviour was so bizarre that we had to allow extreem limits on communications of any kind, and disallow any face to face or telephone calls. The only communications he is presently allowed is via email, but the seperation has helped him, and the prayers for God's help are never in vain. Once you are dealing with an adult, you must respond in an adult manner. Don't lose heart, even if this has been throughout his entire life, God can and does accept the truely hopeless cases and makes great sons and daughters out of those that have often been living a life of rebellion and sin.

[tsth]

Dear BFP,

FWIW, I am beginning to notice something about firstborn sons of these days....seems to be a spirit of rebellion in these.

In His Love,

Suzanne

[Guest italiangirl]

My 21 year old has been abusive for years, and quite recently we have decided to cut off all contact with him. Believe me he hasn't given us much of a choice. The problem is that I am not sure if this is 'right' in God's eyes, and if it is not then how much can a family take? I am talking severe behaviours, not typical teen behavoirs. I know you're going to ask about diagnoses's here, and there have been none, thanks to the fact that psychiatrists seem to just wash thier hands of him very quickly when he does land in a hospital. There are some very deep issues going on here including psychosis episodes and the like. This is not an adopted child, nor is it an abused child. He is far beyond 'strong willed'

The only choice we seem to have is to have absolutely no contact. I am hoping and praying that some day God heals him and changes him but until then he is a danger to himself and others. He is homeless, has never been able to make freinds because he only cares about himself and what others can give him. He scares people (not in a physical way, but because, as my other kids say, he is creepy in some weird and wacky way) At this point, and after doing everything we can to try and help this kid we can't do anymore.

He calls all hours of the night cursing us because he can't have his way on what ever he is trying to get from us at the moment. He deliberately tries you make you feel like you are the one that is crazy...

A couple of weeks ago he was trying to tell us to leave our home because he caused some kind of trouble and someone was going to come to our home and kill everyone here...it just never ends:>) I ask God to help him all the time, but what do we do in the meantime? Is it unloving to cut him off?

I'm not sure of all the details but it seems your son is crying out for help and love. I am sure you have done what you can to show him unconditional love like the Lord shows us...you do need to draw boundaries in your tough love but if you can..let him know you will always love him no matter what he does or who he is. Thats sometimes all it takes..