need help with 17 yr old son

[peaches]

Grace to you,

I was listening to a sermon on the radio recently and it was about the prodigal son. In essence the younger son who demanded his inheritence was actually stating that he wished his Dad would just go ahead and die. That was how he would receive his inheritence in the normal way in that day. He wasn't willing to wait and wanted to break away from his parents, especially his Fathers, will and work out his own will. This would have been considered a shameful action and would have brought shame to the Father in the sight of the community.

The returning son would also have been shamed. He would most likely have sat out in front of the house for at least a week or maybe a month while the neighbors and community passed by and told him how ugly his actions were. All the while shaming him and spitting on him. When he finally was returned to the home he would have been treated like a servant for the shame he had brought to the family and their reputation.

We see this in his own thoughts;

Lu

[Matthitjah]

Grace to you,

Peaches,

I believe it was Dr. Michael Youssef at "Leading The Way Ministries." It's a fine program on a local Christian station here.

Peace,

Dave

[artsylady]

Set aside a day to go fishing or hiking or rock climbing - just the two of you. Keep the conversation light and just have fun and have a great day together. Respect him. Don't treat him as though he's backslidden. Know that if you raised him in the ways of God, that is never going to be far from him. And seek wise counsel, as the Bible says. He's almost an adult and you have to tread very carefully and lightly and mostly prayerfully.

[thunderbyrd]

God bless each and everyone of you for your replys and especially your prayers. things have already moved in a better direction. my son and i spent the day together and didn't speak of the troubles. i have found that i can get some councilling help thru my job. my employer has offered to let me make some changes in my work situation and that will help things.

i have read through all your suggestions and there were many helpful things there. thank you all so much for caring.

[RebekahDavid]

my 17 year old son has failed at school. he had been offered a chance to make-up work and lied to his mother and myself about doing it. during a disagreement recently, he attempted to physically intimidate me. as far as i can tell, he isn't using drugs or doing anything like that. but very dishonest and manipulative. and he is very angry whenever confronted with his dishonesty.

it seems that all he cares about is his girlfriend and being with his friends. i hate to see him going wrong, he has been such a good boy all his life. now i'm really afraid for him.

i need to get some kind of counselling going, i need help. i know many folks here have dealt with things like this, please advise how you've handled things. i don't even know who to ask for help, as far as a counciling agency or something like that.

and we very much need your prayers. thanks so much.

continuing to pray for you and your son.

love your sister in Christ,

Rebekah David

Grace to you,

I was listening to a sermon on the radio recently and it was about the prodigal son. In essence the younger son who demanded his inheritence was actually stating that he wished his Dad would just go ahead and die. That was how he would receive his inheritence in the normal way in that day. He wasn't willing to wait and wanted to break away from his parents, especially his Fathers, will and work out his own will. This would have been considered a shameful action and would have brought shame to the Father in the sight of the community.

The returning son would also have been shamed. He would most likely have sat out in front of the house for at least a week or maybe a month while the neighbors and community passed by and told him how ugly his actions were. All the while shaming him and spitting on him. When he finally was returned to the home he would have been treated like a servant for the shame he had brought to the family and their reputation.

We see this in his own thoughts;

Lu

[NigelLane]

Excellent news Thunderbird - glad things are looking up for you both.

The only pointer I have to offer is that the key is in the relationship. Whatever you do or say protect your relationship at all costs.

It is out of relationship that influence occurs and change is accelerated by influence.

[MeCajunboy]

my 17 year old son has failed at school. he had been offered a chance to make-up work and lied to his mother and myself about doing it. during a disagreement recently, he attempted to physically intimidate me. as far as i can tell, he isn't using drugs or doing anything like that. but very dishonest and manipulative. and he is very angry whenever confronted with his dishonesty.

it seems that all he cares about is his girlfriend and being with his friends. i hate to see him going wrong, he has been such a good boy all his life. now i'm really afraid for him.

i need to get some kind of counselling going, i need help. i know many folks here have dealt with things like this, please advise how you've handled things. i don't even know who to ask for help, as far as a counciling agency or something like that.

and we very much need your prayers. thanks so much.

It sounds very much like in his adolescence he has made some drastic changes that can only be challanged by councellors.....And I'm afraid you're going to have to dish out some good monies to afford good coucelling! But it should be worth it. I'm quite sure by what we're hearing that he's dabbled into areas that he preferred not to go and finds it difficult to return to the safehaven at home as he is coming into manhood. In the end, you may have to "Let Go and Let God! If you know the expression! Both you and your wife sound as though you've done a wonderful job , since you wouldn't be here pleading for help if you were only concerned about how you appeared. I applaud you for your efforts and humility! I will pray for you all for a bit that this will pass your son, and always be sure that you are being a good listener for him as he needs you both tremendously through these tough times at home in his love life and in the world in general. God Bless

Prayers

Cajunboy