Marriage Laws

[Guest Sweetie in Mundelein]

With divorce at about 50%, how might we give marriage more respect?

Maybe, a law that would require people to stay married for 5 years before they could get a divorce.

What do you think?

As others have pointed out, lots of problems with this sort of thing.

Also the 50% stat is a bit misleading.

Those that have been married more than once mess up the stats

First marriages only end in divorce 40% of them time while 3rd marriages end up in divorce 74% of the time.

But this is not to say things are not bad

[Guest ~zoe-girl~]

This is all just so sad to read, the stats are awful for marriage working out- what is worng with this world-

[Xan]

I thought foolishly that I could love my ex enough to ' help him' and boy was I in for a rude awakening- ~

He far from respects me, yet still blames me for the failure of our marriage- pleasee-

You were married to my ex?

[message]

Hello there, Knight of light..

Well thats a bit of a tough one you have there...

Your idea seems quite good..but once one goes into such a thing, it usually turns out that it has many more sides to it than one first thought, that is quite a deep well, that you have uncovered there, it really is...

The trouble with most things is....there are people whom have clever

people of law, who could probably get them much less than 5 years if they wanted to pay the fee's and so on....If they wanted to get out of the marriage...

Taking a look at the other side, of the coin as they say..

Engagements, are not a thing one hears much about these days...

It needs someone, very enterprising, to introduce,all the good things about getting engaged.. having a long engagement..was always seen as, a getting to know you thing...

Many years ago, with intimate relations..kept after the wedding vows had been taken.

It needs someone to somehow reintroduce..some things of past times..

Wonder if one could try to bring back some of the beliefs, they had many years ago..

And work out 'why'? they worked at the time...

Then to try and make people, aware of them, and try to make them stand up and work for today, as well in yesteryear......

Would that really work I wonder..?! Would people want to turn the clock back...?! Wouldn't it really be too hard to do so..I wonder...

A lot of the kids..are just plain 'Bored'..parent's,, seemingly let them get on with things from such a young age now....With hardly any family intake....

What would have to be done is a mixture of the years, a chunk out of that era.. and a bit out of another............Do you think it would work?.....

I really think the family unit, should somehow be introduced again...

But though all these years.. generation to generation.. they each have their own ideas..

And for most generation's...Things just sort of happen, don't they..

If you wanted to do as you mentioned....

I think it might be too difficult..I would really love to think , that at some stage

the close family unit, would actually reappear, but the Public, would almost have to start living in an entirely new way..[or should it be..old way?????]

Sorry I am all out of ideas now...

Is it possible to somehow put the clock back and copy another era's way of living..?

Wouldn't it all seem, too 'Manipulated', somehow!?

Yesteryear, had so much more going for it...So much more respect, for people,

and manners too were just like a second skin.. Things like standing up for needy people to sit down on a bus..thats a very lightweight thing I know..

but things like that...

I think parents used to accept that it was their child.. therefore they would do all they could to teach it about life, and the ways of living..

Good manner's.. and how to treat people... that has seemed to slipped away, I know the era's come and era's go..but while one is living through an era...One always thinks.. that life will always be that way...

When I was a child, there was definitely, very close family units, with relatives living short distances from each other... In the years I am talking about..part of travel that was popular then.. was the moterbike and sidecar....My mum and dad, had one, so did a few uncle's and aunts..It made a good form of travel.

Most kids loved sitting in the sidecar, one could either sit upright..[depending on the size of the child...... or it was quite long, and we usually had a couple of rugs and a pillow.that was a wonderful ride.. and sent most to sleep in no time at all...It had a movement which was sort of rocking.. which did sort of lull one to sleep very well...Most familys if they had one,,the dog would also travel in the side car, as it loved making itself comfortable.. in the long side car..

We only lived about half an hour or so from each other for many years.... Thats the way there was so many close knit families, around when I was small.. because it was the beginning of a new life.. world war 2 had finished then.. I was only a baby then but when I grew up mum used to tell us family stories all about the war and such.. I really think it was a good time to be born.. I wouldn't have missed being in a close knit family for anything...

It makes me feel so sad..now when I look at kids....There just doesn't seem the respect that there was when I was young...

But as I said..Mums and dads, took a real interest at everything their child was doing and used to encourage them all they could....

I worry about the children of 'now' at times..Where are the children..heading to or going to..?

With families all split up,and spread across the world at times...

How are the kids of today going to manage...

We used to go to one relatives one sunday,and have high tea with them.. another Sunday some other family would cometo us and so on...

We used to have a wonderful time.....It did help that mostly all of our natures were a lot the same.. and we used to go and have games of cricket..and ball...and picnics galore..

Can you try and turn the clock back..???!!??? I am not really sure!

[Hunterpoet]

I think that to be a very bad idea.

Maybe a better course of action is to ask people, especially christians, to review the books in the bible detailing the responsiblities of marriage for the man and women.

Secular individuals could be asked to attend a class on marriage possibly.

No matter what you do or ask people to do you will end up with some failures.

I question your statistics...50% seems a bit high, but I could be wrong.

Personally I think couples should remain engaged for a full 3 years prior to marriage and abstain from any sexual contact.

[LadyRaven]

I thought foolishly that I could love my ex enough to ' help him' and boy was I in for a rude awakening- ~

He far from respects me, yet still blames me for the failure of our marriage- pleasee-

You were married to my ex?

No, she was married to my ex.........

[Guest]

Wouldn't work.

Why?

Till Death Do We Part!

[Xan]

Wouldn't work.

Why?

Till Death Do We Part!

I'm glad you have a long lasting marraige, Joe. Unfortunately, that cannot be the case with every situation.

I don't believe in the government getting involved in our marraiges, but I do agree that people should be more careful when choosing a life-long marital partner, which is what I didn't do. Counseling helps to determine what makes you choose a particular person to marry and if the choice is healthy, and a long engagement should prove helpful as well in theory. I say "in theory" because I exclusively dated my ex for two years before we got married, but I ignored all the glaring red signs. I have my eyes wide open this time, and I'm looking forward to "till death do us part".

[David of Derby]

No one can see the future, no one can predict how someone else will change and ultimately, no one can know another person completely. Saddling yourself with a legally-mandated, one-way marriage commitment is stupid, there has to be a get-out clause. Some spouses turn out to be violents, drunks, cheats, thieves, etc, and sometimes people just change, especially in the case of people getting married young. What's served by forcing young people to stay in marriages that were mistakes?

If anyone here's seen Babylon 5, remember the scene where Londo Mollari is talking about his father's arranged marriage - he finds him crying one day and asks why, and the elder Mollari says that his dancing shoes no longer fit, but it doesn't matter, because he's forgotten how to dance. Londo then argues against forcing a young relative into an arranged marriage when he loves someone else. He says they should be allowed to dance while they remember how. It's not much different to forcing someone to stay in a bad marriage if you think about it.

[Willow325]

With divorce at about 50%, how might we give marriage more respect?

Maybe, a law that would require people to stay married for 5 years before they could get a divorce.

What do you think?

Perhaps the couple should be required to take a test. If they pass, they can get married. If not, they can't. And those people who prefer being married over living together would probably study up on the test and pass it next time. Sort of like getting your driver's license.

Willow325