Am I really a "prude"?

[sheya joie]

Maybe have a button made that reads 'I'm a Prude - and proud of it!'

[Willow325]

Maybe have a button made that reads 'I'm a Prude - and proud of it!'

Some years ago, while watching an old black and white movie on American Movie Classics, I heard someone use the terms GD. I quickly looked over to the television. It was a child using that language. I walked over to the TV to make sure I was on the right channel. I was. And then I heard the child say it again. I was shocked. I turned the channel.

Then some time this year, while setting the table for dinner, I heard someone use the F word. I was really shocked. I moved the channel up and down to figure out what channel we were on. Looked over at my husband and asked, "Did you hear that? They said the F word." And while he was replying the actors said the B word and the S word. And I shut the TV off. I don't know what movie that was but it wasn't one I wanted to watch during supper.

Sometimes I think people who use that language do so just to shock anyone who is listening. Perhaps it gives them a feeling of being tough or manly, or womanly, or whoever uses it. But it always reminds me of the fact that they sound ignorant; uneducated because they can't think of anything else to say, so they have to use profanity.

Anyone can use profanity.

It's not like it takes several years of higher education to come up with some of the words out there. It's not like it takes skill to put those words together. Some of the profanity we hear is hundreds of years old. Once I told a teenager he was old fashioned and behind the times because the profanity he was using was centuries old. He asked, what sort of words should he use? I said, I dunno. Make them up. But make them different from what is out there. And this kid came up with all sort of weird and funny words. No profanity at all. It was laughable.

Every country has its own profanity. I think the American profanity is worse than any of it.

Willow325

[Floatingaxe]

How can one be a prude for hating what God hates?

[MorningGlory]

No, bts, you're not alone in how you feel about this. Profanity isn't permitted in my home....and this includes my grown children. Stand your ground and go with what you believe. It's your home and your husband should want people to respect your wishes. I'm sorry but just telling you you're out of sync with society isn't being supportive of you. He's not alone in that though; lots of people get into the habit of using profanity anywhere and everywhere because they want to fit in. Fit in with who? The mindless, immoral dregs of society that populate the entertainment industry? God doesn't want you to listen to that or to participate in it either.....you're absolutely doing the right thing.

[LadyRaven]

Hey BTS...

I don't think you are a prude at all. It is a personal preference for you and you shouldn't have to compromise that at all...especially in your own home. It almost seems to me that you aren't being respected in your own home. You shouldn't have to shut yourself away from the rest of the house just so they can watch TV. I personally don't care about words...I choose to not let them bother me...but I do have other rules in my home (like NO smoking) and I won't compromise on that...

this will have to go down in history, I agree with Axx here. It is a matter of respect, your family has no respect for you as a person. I am not exactly sure how you go about demanding that respect without coming off as someone not worthy of that respect, however, you do need to insist that you are respected in some fashion.

[Axxman]

But it always reminds me of the fact that they sound ignorant; uneducated because they can't think of anything else to say, so they have to use profanity.

Anyone can use profanity.

First of all...lets not state your opinion as fact. It is your opinion that they sound ignorant and uneducated. Quite frankly...thats insulting. If you have a problem with certain words, fine. I can accept that and I will do my best not to use any words you might think are offensive. However, for you to say I sound ignorant and uneducated simply because I choose not to get all bent out of shape over some words...well thats simply wrong.

Anyone can use profanity..and anyone can choose to let their sensibilities be damaged by hearing it (or not.) It is a matter of personal preference. My only obligation biblically is to not intentionally offend brethren who get hung up on stuff like that.

[MorningGlory]

But it always reminds me of the fact that they sound ignorant; uneducated because they can't think of anything else to say, so they have to use profanity.

Anyone can use profanity.

First of all...lets not state your opinion as fact. It is your opinion that they sound ignorant and uneducated. Quite frankly...thats insulting. If you have a problem with certain words, fine. I can accept that and I will do my best not to use any words you might think are offensive. However, for you to say I sound ignorant and uneducated simply because I choose not to get all bent out of shape over some words...well thats simply wrong.

Anyone can use profanity..and anyone can choose to let their sensibilities be damaged by hearing it (or not.) It is a matter of personal preference. My only obligation biblically is to not intentionally offend brethren who get hung up on stuff like that.

Axx, you're apparently applying Willow's words to yourself.....I'm assuming that means something; not sure what. However, she's correct; if all one can come up with is four letter words, or simply talks that way because others do.....they sound ignorant and uneducated. May not be fair but...it is what it is.

[Floatingaxe]

But it always reminds me of the fact that they sound ignorant; uneducated because they can't think of anything else to say, so they have to use profanity.

Anyone can use profanity.

First of all...lets not state your opinion as fact. It is your opinion that they sound ignorant and uneducated. Quite frankly...thats insulting. If you have a problem with certain words, fine. I can accept that and I will do my best not to use any words you might think are offensive. However, for you to say I sound ignorant and uneducated simply because I choose not to get all bent out of shape over some words...well thats simply wrong.

Anyone can use profanity..and anyone can choose to let their sensibilities be damaged by hearing it (or not.) It is a matter of personal preference. My only obligation biblically is to not intentionally offend brethren who get hung up on stuff like that.

People who walk with God are offended by profanity. God is also. It is a sin to not maintain control of the tongue. It reveals one's heart condition. Hence the consensus that one who uses profanity gives the impression that he or she is rather ignorant of good behaviour and uneducated in speech norms...which is the very least of what we can estimate! It is a good opinion and worthy of having concerning this topic. It isn't an insult to hold such an opinion at all.

[Leonard]

Not at all, it angers me as well.

Just a few months ago I had to admonish a young fellow for his filthy language at a public restaurant, and yes, if he hadn't complied I would have called the Manager.

Since I do a lot of construction inspection, I've even learned to say "Ay! Su madre lavara su boca con jabon!" (Hey! Your mother would wash your mouth out with soap!)

[buckthesystem]

Thank you all for your replies. I really appreciate them, and it is good to hear that profanity in everyday speech is not acceptable everywhere.

However, although members of my family will soon pick up that I don't like them swearing around me and eventually "watch what they say", the problem of swearing in the entertainment media still remains.

With such a large family I have no control over, what radio stations or TV channels they have on, and there is absolutely no way I can stop what comes out of the "idiot box" I think I have "put limits in place" (e.g. tonight during tea my husband was "channel surfing" and he stopped when a favourite soap opera came on - I really hate that soap opera, it not only has foul-mouthed characters on it but it has story lines about the homosexual lifestyle, women having abortions and how wonderful it is for them, teenagers screaming at their parents etc. Trying to normalise it and "educate" the viewer that it a normal part of life. Anyway, I asked my husband to "keep moving up the channels", and he not only did but said to the kids "if you want to watch that you can go to Andy's place" and Casey said (to the others) "OK, we don't have to watch it now, it is repeated on Saturday".

I just know that sometime pretty soon I will be in the lounge (maybe reading a book or something - I don't watch TV unless there is something specific on) and out of the TV will come a string of swear words, but this time it will not be the kids that are watching it, it will be my husband - because that has happened so many times before.

Here's the usual scenario:

TV swears, I object. Me: "I don't want to hear that" (or words to this affect). My husband: "Well, don't listen, you're not watching it -I am, go somewhere else!". Both of us: "Argue, argue, argue". Result: My husband gets up, turns off the TV, storms out of the room and goes to bed, does not speak to me for the next three days.

Result for me: I feel really yukky and guilty. I just know it will happen again soon as it has happened just this way over and over again for the last four years now.

Got any ideas what to do?