Am I really a "prude"?

[Xan]

But it always reminds me of the fact that they sound ignorant; uneducated because they can't think of anything else to say, so they have to use profanity.

Anyone can use profanity.

First of all...lets not state your opinion as fact. It is your opinion that they sound ignorant and uneducated. Quite frankly...thats insulting. If you have a problem with certain words, fine. I can accept that and I will do my best not to use any words you might think are offensive. However, for you to say I sound ignorant and uneducated simply because I choose not to get all bent out of shape over some words...well thats simply wrong.

Anyone can use profanity..and anyone can choose to let their sensibilities be damaged by hearing it (or not.) It is a matter of personal preference. My only obligation biblically is to not intentionally offend brethren who get hung up on stuff like that.

Axxman, despite the profanity you use around those who aren't offended, I do know from your posts you are an intelligent man. I sat in a HIPPA training meeting years ago with a Baylor doctor whose language would make sailors blush. I know he is quite educated given his title, but it was only by his title, and the fact he was even in the meeting, that I knew he was an educated man. However, when people refuse to articulate their position without profanity, it gives the impression they are unable to, whether or not the impression is true. We know that impressions are often times wrong, but that does not mean people don't hold on to them, and it also doesn't mean that they are always wrong.

I am an attractive woman with curves which gives some people the impression that I am morally loose and some the impression I lack intelligence. I don't let that bother me because it is how God made me, and I ultimately know both impressions are incorrect. However, if I was consciously doing something that revealed an impression of character, intelligence, etc.; I would think seriously about changing it, and in fact, I have.

[Xan]

Thank you all for your replies. I really appreciate them, and it is good to hear that profanity in everyday speech is not acceptable everywhere.

However, although members of my family will soon pick up that I don't like them swearing around me and eventually "watch what they say", the problem of swearing in the entertainment media still remains.

With such a large family I have no control over, what radio stations or TV channels they have on, and there is absolutely no way I can stop what comes out of the "idiot box" I think I have "put limits in place" (e.g. tonight during tea my husband was "channel surfing" and he stopped when a favourite soap opera came on - I really hate that soap opera, it not only has foul-mouthed characters on it but it has story lines about the homosexual lifestyle, women having abortions and how wonderful it is for them, teenagers screaming at their parents etc. Trying to normalise it and "educate" the viewer that it a normal part of life. Anyway, I asked my husband to "keep moving up the channels", and he not only did but said to the kids "if you want to watch that you can go to Andy's place" and Casey said (to the others) "OK, we don't have to watch it now, it is repeated on Saturday".

I just know that sometime pretty soon I will be in the lounge (maybe reading a book or something - I don't watch TV unless there is something specific on) and out of the TV will come a string of swear words, but this time it will not be the kids that are watching it, it will be my husband - because that has happened so many times before.

Here's the usual scenario:

TV swears, I object. Me: "I don't want to hear that" (or words to this affect). My husband: "Well, don't listen, you're not watching it -I am, go somewhere else!". Both of us: "Argue, argue, argue". Result: My husband gets up, turns off the TV, storms out of the room and goes to bed, does not speak to me for the next three days.

Result for me: I feel really yukky and guilty. I just know it will happen again soon as it has happened just this way over and over again for the last four years now.

Got any ideas what to do?

It's not worth the arguement. Just go to your bedroom to read.

[Axxman]

People who walk with God are offended by profanity. God is also. It is a sin to not maintain control of the tongue. It reveals one's heart condition. Hence the consensus that one who uses profanity gives the impression that he or she is rather ignorant of good behaviour and uneducated in speech norms...which is the very least of what we can estimate! It is a good opinion and worthy of having concerning this topic. It isn't an insult to hold such an opinion at all.

Yeah...you didn't read that in the bible...lol. I maintain control of my tongue by saying what I mean. You are WAY OUT OF BOUNDS by implying that a slang term is revealing a"heart condition." There are instances that the bible indicates that speech should be regulated like using the Lord's name, or cursing a person. But to say that I cannot say slang terms (which are what the OP is complaining about) is ludicrous. Furthermore, to pass judgement on me for using them is non-productive.

You have absolutely NO BASIS for condemning one word over another except for preference. And while everyone is entitled to an opinion it is nothing short of arrogant to introduce your opinions or preferences as facts.

[Axxman]

Axxman, despite the profanity you use around those who aren't offended, I do know from your posts you are an intelligent man. I sat in a HIPPA training meeting years ago with a Baylor doctor whose language would make sailors blush. I know he is quite educated given his title, but it was only by his title, and the fact he was even in the meeting, that I knew he was an educated man. However, when people refuse to articulate their position without profanity, it gives the impression they are unable to, whether or not the impression is true. We know that impressions are often times wrong, but that does not mean people don't hold on to them, and it also doesn't mean that they are always wrong.

I am an attractive woman with curves which gives some people the impression that I am morally loose and some the impression I lack intelligence. I don't let that bother me because it is how God made me, and I ultimately know both impressions are incorrect. However, if I was consciously doing something that revealed an impression of character, intelligence, etc.; I would think seriously about changing it, and in fact, I have.

Xan, I definitely get what you are saying (and thanks for your kind words)...however...you could literally drive yourself batty trying to impress or please people who have nothing better to do than sit around and find fault with people. We are who we are. Now, if someone approaches me with an issue in my life that they are concerned with...I will certainly listen and take their words into consideration. I will be less inclined to hold them in ANY regard if they start off with "Its a fact that people who act like you are ignorant and uneducated." Personally insulting someone because they don't see eye-to-eye with you is FAR MORE insulting than any to words I might use...lol (btw...I know it wasn't you who said that)

I won't change who I am, or the way I act unless I feel that God desires me to. If my actions are offensive to some...then out of respect I will do my best to not offend people who get hung up on small stuff (the bible calls them "weaker brethren.") That is biblical.

The slang terms that people call profanity are nothing more than words. 50 years ago there were a whole different set of words that "religious" people looked down on people for using. Oddly, most of those words are now considered innocent as they now hold other words in offense. Its a ridiculous cycle perpetrated by people who have nothing better to do than pass judgement on people. If it is not condemned in the bible, then who are men to pass judgement on me?

IMO...BTS doesn't have a "prude" problem...she has a "respect" problem. If I were her I would care less about what little words she hears...and care more about why her loved don't hear her words.

[Floatingaxe]

People who walk with God are offended by profanity. God is also. It is a sin to not maintain control of the tongue. It reveals one's heart condition. Hence the consensus that one who uses profanity gives the impression that he or she is rather ignorant of good behaviour and uneducated in speech norms...which is the very least of what we can estimate! It is a good opinion and worthy of having concerning this topic. It isn't an insult to hold such an opinion at all.

Yeah...you didn't read that in the bible...lol. I maintain control of my tongue by saying what I mean. You are WAY OUT OF BOUNDS by implying that a slang term is revealing a"heart condition." There are instances that the bible indicates that speech should be regulated like using the Lord's name, or cursing a person. But to say that I cannot say slang terms (which are what the OP is complaining about) is ludicrous. Furthermore, to pass judgement on me for using them is non-productive.

You have absolutely NO BASIS for condemning one word over another except for preference. And while everyone is entitled to an opinion it is nothing short of arrogant to introduce your opinions or preferences as facts.

I certainly do receive instruction in the word of God about the use of the tongue and cursing. The OP is talking about cursing, and the use of the F-word. I hardly consider that as slang!

Using four letter words and off-colour language is an act of the will, and is not pleasing to God--so it is sin. t certainly does reveal a heart condition. That is why we must be careful! It isn't arrogant to seek to have pure speech. It is wisdom, and devotion to God that influences us that way.

James 3:5-6

In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.

But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.

[Axxman]

James 3:5-6

In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.

But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.

How weird...

You see when I see James 3 talking about the tongue being dangerous I think of things like calling people ignorant or uneducated. People use their tongues for evil all the time and you are stuck on slang words that have a dozen different meanings and connotations...most of which are not evil at all.

[Floatingaxe]

James 3:5-6

In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.

But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.

How weird...

You see when I see James 3 talking about the tongue being dangerous I think of things like calling people ignorant or uneducated. People use their tongues for evil all the time and you are stuck on slang words that have a dozen different meanings and connotations...most of which are not evil at all.

There was no mention of slang in the OP--mostly it was swearing and the use of the F-bomb.

In Scripture, including James, it doesn't speak of slang either. But we are to avoid all uncleanness, including slang, and cursing and all manner of evil speech. It is a revealer of the heart condition according to God.

Luke 6:45

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.

[glorywatch]

People who walk with God are offended by profanity. God is also. It is a sin to not maintain control of the tongue. It reveals one's heart condition. Hence the consensus that one who uses profanity gives the impression that he or she is rather ignorant of good behaviour and uneducated in speech norms...which is the very least of what we can estimate! It is a good opinion and worthy of having concerning this topic. It isn't an insult to hold such an opinion at all.

Yeah...you didn't read that in the bible...lol. I maintain control of my tongue by saying what I mean. You are WAY OUT OF BOUNDS by implying that a slang term is revealing a"heart condition." There are instances that the bible indicates that speech should be regulated like using the Lord's name, or cursing a person. But to say that I cannot say slang terms (which are what the OP is complaining about) is ludicrous. Furthermore, to pass judgement on me for using them is non-productive.

You have absolutely NO BASIS for condemning one word over another except for preference. And while everyone is entitled to an opinion it is nothing short of arrogant to introduce your opinions or preferences as facts.

Actually, in Proverbs 18:21 it says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." Matthew 12:34 states "for the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart." So words do reveal a 'heart condition" according to Scripture. If you read further in verses 36 and 37, it says we will be judged by every careless word that we speak. "And I say to you, that every careless word taht men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned." Jesus clearly thought words were important. Should we do any less?

[sheya joie]

There is also this verse:

Col 3:8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.

[Xan]

For everyone who has called people "ignorant" for using profanity, how are you any better for not bridling your tongue and cursing your brother?

Axxman, I agree. The problem with BTS's household is a respect issue. BTS, even though we hardly agree on any issue, I hope to show respect to you in my disagreements with you. You have my permission to point it out in love if I ever become careless with you.