The divorce and remarriage question

[Guest LadyC]

you're entitled to your opinion, but it's just an opinion. it's not what the Bible says. by the way, i should mention, adultery was present within my first marriage... both of us were guilty of having defiled the marriage bed. you said:

It is wrong and a sin to divorce for whatever reason and remarry to another and God can never chose a different husband for you after you divorce.you made the choice but it does not mean He cannot work with and through him.

that is patently false. even Christ Himself stated that you would not be sinning if you were to divorce because of adultery. your statement also denies what paul said, in the passage i quoted above. and whether said by paul or by Jesus, it is ALL the inspired word of God, and so neither can be in error.

all that being said, i was guilty of having committed adultery in my first marriage. so was my ex-husband. and yet because i REPENTED, i was FORGIVEN. and yes, God chose my second husband for me. you see, when God does something, He makes sure that there can be absolutely no doubt as to whom gets the glory for it. and eleven years later, God is still getting that glory. so it really doesn't matter what you think. it matters what God has done.

[Guest patriciak]

I would like some feedback, mostly attitudes concerning remarriage.

Have any of you remarried ministers had a hard time within certain groups?

One church I went to did not allow folks who were remarried (for any reason but death) to become a member. They instructed people to go back to their first spouse.

Note to my brothers and sisters: I did not start this topic to throw stones or to bring condemnation. I would like to learn something.

Hi, I am new here ...I just wanted to say that Paul instituded divorce because so many people were pressing him about it...

Question: Is divorce any greater sin than any other sin committed against God's commands?

Question: Was the sin of divorce covered in all of the sins Christ died to cover and save us from on the Cross of Calvary?

I was not a born again believer when I went through extreme depression, told I have Fibromyalgia (depression side effects too), left RC church and filed for divorce, after 30 years of marriage. Strange thing is that we remained friends and became closer than when we were married. He remains in the church. I became a born again believer. But three years later we came to agreement on disagreeing on friendly terms over religious differences...I truly felt that God wanted us to finish out our lives together. We remarried and have been happily married for four years this May. We neither one dated anyone else during the three year separation and we were not together sexually during that time either. We were married when he was 23 and I was 20. We have spent our entire life together. He is now 66 and I am 63. We have two grown children and three grandchildren. God is very good.

I believe that if a non-believer leaves a marriage then, so much better for the saved person...and they can divorce and marry again.

Also for an abused spouse. I don't believe Father God wants anyone being beaten to death and children hurt and left with extreme mental abuse to take into their marriage and in raising their own children....better to separate and divorce. Personally, I think the abused person should be able to marry someone else without condemnation.

And in the case of a cheating spouse, try to work it out. If if fails then divorce. Let God be your guide but again, the victim should not be blamed and felt as if they have to remain unmarried because of a cheating husband and/or wife.

Now for the new agers who think they can marry for a year and if it doen't work out they can divorce...!!!That is wrong thinking and is not reason enough for divorcing.

Marriage is a covenant with the two people and with Father God.

Thanks and sorry this got so long, patriciak

[anitarose]

I can only speak from my personal experience. My divorce will probably be finalized about the second week of May. I was married 17 years, to a man who in my view (and likely YHWH's as well) deceived me into marrying him because later on he confessed to being "bisexual". I stayed with him because YHWH told me to--that there would be a chance that in the future I would be able to leave. That chance happened January 7th, 2006, but not before I had turned my back on YHWH and started openly practicing witchcraft to save my marriage. When I left my husband, it took about a month before I made up my mind to turn my back on the witchcraft and return to the YHWH of my youth. I have not regretted it one bit since.

I have been told that I have very valid, very Biblical reasons for my divorce. I have also been told by several people (as well as leadership in my church) that, should I decide to, I can remarry.

I think in some instances it would depend on the circumstances of the divorce. Like mine, since it was most definitely Biblical, I can remarry, but I am taking steps that would prevent the baggage of the first marriage from entering the second. I have gone into Biblical counseling, and will be taking a deliverance course as well. I'm not sure when I will be doing all this, however, I know that I'm going to give myself at least a year before even considering a new relationship, and even then I'm waiting on YHWH to bring that man to me---I refuse to date anyone, because I have discovered that dating leads to divorce. I'll wait on courtship and betrothal, thank you.

a.

[enoob57]

I would like some feedback, mostly attitudes concerning remarriage.

Have any of you remarried ministers had a hard time within certain groups?

One church I went to did not allow folks who were remarried (for any reason but death) to become a member. They instructed people to go back to their first spouse.

Note to my brothers and sisters: I did not start this topic to throw stones or to bring condemnation. I would like to learn something.

It is a simple understanding God intended the marriage for non-breaking vow. Sin entered and because of hardness of heart Moses allowed for divorce.

One final marriage to go through- us as the bride and Christ as the husband ...How long do you want that to last? Love Steven

[Smalcald]

I can only speak from my personal experience. My divorce will probably be finalized about the second week of May. I was married 17 years, to a man who in my view (and likely YHWH's as well) deceived me into marrying him because later on he confessed to being "bisexual". I stayed with him because YHWH told me to--that there would be a chance that in the future I would be able to leave. That chance happened January 7th, 2006, but not before I had turned my back on YHWH and started openly practicing witchcraft to save my marriage. When I left my husband, it took about a month before I made up my mind to turn my back on the witchcraft and return to the YHWH of my youth. I have not regretted it one bit since.

I have been told that I have very valid, very Biblical reasons for my divorce. I have also been told by several people (as well as leadership in my church) that, should I decide to, I can remarry.

I think in some instances it would depend on the circumstances of the divorce. Like mine, since it was most definitely Biblical, I can remarry, but I am taking steps that would prevent the baggage of the first marriage from entering the second. I have gone into Biblical counseling, and will be taking a deliverance course as well. I'm not sure when I will be doing all this, however, I know that I'm going to give myself at least a year before even considering a new relationship, and even then I'm waiting on YHWH to bring that man to me---I refuse to date anyone, because I have discovered that dating leads to divorce. I'll wait on courtship and betrothal, thank you.

a.

[deut31:12]

The only way the scriptures allow us to remarry are ONLY if the divorce was for infidelity or death of our spouse. IF I remarry for any other reasons than these then I am living in adultery.

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matthew 19:9

The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. 1 Corinthians 7:39

Anything outside of this is conjectural. You won't find any scriptures that give us the reasons of putting away our spouse for abuse, cruelty, being a non-christian, giving into certain sins, etc. Instead we find this -

And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. Mark 10:11-12

The only two things that free us up for remarriage are death and infidelity. Anything else we put our spouse away for will cause us to be in adultery if we remarry.

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. I Cor. 7:10-13

This is very clear that we are not supposed to depart from each other nor put each other away, but if we do we are either to remained unmarried or reconcile back to our spouse. So, if I leave my spouse for abuse. sin, porn, etc., or put them away for it, I am to remain unmarried or reconcile the marriage. Remember, Jesus said the only reason I can put away my spouse is for infidelity. Anything outside of that I am not legally able to remarry in God's eyes.

[sheya joie]

1 Corinthians 7 goes on after verse 13 to say:

1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

1Co 7:15

But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases

: but God hath called us to peace.

Still later in the same chapter:

1Co 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

1Co 7:28

But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned

; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

[deut31:12]

1 Corinthians 7 goes on after verse 13 to say:

1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

1Co 7:15

But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases

: but God hath called us to peace.

Still later in the same chapter:

These scriptures are speaking of spouses that are not Christians who choose to leave the Christians spouse, probably because of Christianity, and if they choose to leave let them, but Christians are not under this type of thinking. We can't just choose to leave one another as we are married.

1Co 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

1Co 7:28

But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned

; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

You have to remember that Paul chose to stay unmarried and his views on it is that the unmarried can serve God better because he is not distracted by his spouse and can devote all of their attention to God, but if people want to get married they can and don't sin.

This is NOT saying that if my unbelieving spouse leaves me I can remarry because that contradicts this -

Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

Romans 7:1-3

If you have been married before and marry somebody else while your ex is still alive you are living in adultery. They only two things that let us out of being married are the death of our spouse and infidelity. You have to live by these scriptures -

"Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband"

If you use the scriptures you quoted for the purpose you suggest then you create a contradiction.

Edited April 28, 2010 by deut31:12

[JCISGD]

According to Jesus in Math 5:28 "Whoever lusts after a women has already commited adultery", and we know that marriage is the only lawful outlet for sexual expression and intimacy.

The word "Whoever" makes no exceptions, and Rom 7:2+3 teach the truth that marriage is until death and that anything else is adultery. Therefore infidelity cannot make way for divorce and remarriage as it is still adultery.

Dictionary.com defines the word "Adulterate" as " to debase or make impure by using inferior materials or elements; use cheaper, inferior, or less desireable goods in production of (any professedly genuine article)"

Therefore IMO the only lawful reason for divorce can only be marriage that was unlawful in the first case, such as incest, homosexuality, having living spouse from a lawful marriage etc. Another exception is in the Jewish culture when fornication was committed by a betrothed person before the actual marriage cerimony that took place 2 yrs after the engagement. In Jewish culture the two were considered married at engagement and could only be broken off/divorced for this one reason.

The acceptance of divorce/remarriage in the Christian church is a modern phenomina, IMO people should seek God on this most serious and far reaching topic, and not be swayed by the counsel of anyone including myself, as "no adulterers will enter heaven".

[anitarose]

Y'all are trying real hard to make me feel guilty for divorcing a gay man who practices witchcraft, ya know....

I would like to know this: can you explain why people always (and I mean ALWAYS) take Paul's words over Jesus' words when it comes to this subject? Who is Paul in comparison to Y'shua???? Last I looked, Paul didn't die for our sins, did he? Then why would we take Paul's words on the subject of divorce over our Elohim Y'shua????

Perhaps I'm all wet for asking the question, but it really bugs me when someone starts quoting a servant over the Master.

a.