Remarriage

[ColleenLovesMischief]

Opinions please? I hear a lot of Christians give slack about widows and widowers remarrying.

[Guest LadyC]

i have a dear friend who became widowed twice in a 22 month period of time. she's got a beautiful testimony.

[ColleenLovesMischief]

i have a dear friend who became widowed twice in a 22 month period of time. she's got a beautiful testimony.

Ouch......I would love to hear.

[LadyRaven]

My father was married to my mother for over 37 years. She died of lung cancer. He mourned for about a year and then made a few female friends. Eventually he met my step mom, and he's very happy. I would never wish him to be alone the rest of his life, he was only 70 when Mom died.

[OneLight]

The only choice that needed a choice of "other (please explain)" didn't have one. I feel one should remarry when, and if, they are led to. For some, that may be right away. For others, it may take years. And some ... never.

[Guest Biblicist]

I think it's as individual as the person.

Biblically there is nothing wrong with it, but for each person, it's different.

My grandmother, widowed with 5 young children never remarried. She felt she would be dishonoring her husband by doing so.

My mother, widowed after age 65 remarried a few years later, grown children. Apparently, she did not feel the same.

I do not believe I would ever remarry, and I know my husband wouldn't.

I think it's a question about "marriage in heaven". My grandmother used to say, "I don't want two husbands in Heaven." The Bible isn't 100% clear about our relationships in Heaven, so it's a matter of perception.

[ayin jade]

My only hesitation is that I would recommend a widow/er not jump into a next marriage. Most of the remarriages Ive seen that have taken place within a year of the death of the spouse have not been good ones ....... yours excepted colleen. In those instances, it seems that the desire to avoid loneliness overrode their sense and they choose poorly when they remarried. Not my judgment, but born out by a divorce within a couple of years. Like Onelight, I feel they need to do so only when led by the Lord to remarry. At least then the marriage should last and be a right choice.

[Guest LadyC]

My only hesitation is that I would recommend a widow/er not jump into a next marriage. Most of the remarriages Ive seen that have taken place within a year of the death of the spouse have not been good ones

that's really sad jade.... i wonder about the circumstances of the first spouse's death in those cases. i say that because i've actually seen the opposite, at least among christians. but, in each of those cases, the death of the first spouse was a long time coming. my mother (who did not and probably never will remarry after my father's death) told me, just days after the funeral, that she'd been grieving for three years, and that even though she was very saddened to lose him, it was also a relief. and she didn't mean that in a selfish way. she meant it as much for my dad as for herself. she viewed my dad's death as God's mercy on him.

i think for many people, that is the case... the woman i mentioned previously felt the same way. it wasn't her intention to remarry, but then God brought a man into her life whom she married four months later. was it a rebound? many people would think so, but that wasn't it. God brought them together as helpmates, for companionship and comfort. of course they didn't know at the time they married that those were God's reasons. but shortly after they married, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. and as soon as the breast cancer was treated and in remission, he was diagnosed with a terminal illness.

and then there is the man who was my children's church pastor when i was a kid. he and his wife were always active in ministry. in their latter years, he cared for her through all the stages of cancer. he loved her with the kind of love that is unmistakable. but within six months, he married a woman who had been friends with them both, and who had been through a similar experience with her mother's terminal illness. it has been about ten years now, and they are still happy.

maybe a lot of it has to do with age... when people seek companionship more than the rush of emotions that younger couples seek in a mate.

[Guest]

Agreement!

[kross]

Scripture teaches, and i can not remember where, that marriage is a contract that is good until death. Once death happens, the contract is fullfilled and thus it is no longer.

psychologists would say it is a good idea to wait some time. But, that would depend on if the deth caused trauma.