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Found 23 results

  1. Before i write this Thread's simple message, i wanted to again encourage you, all of you, to go to your local Gym and sign up. Many people use "Planet Fitness", but, whatever, no matter which, find one, and use it. Your phone book, or just looking on the Web for Gyms in your CITY or TOWN, will give you several options, i would predict.. What age should you start? If you are 16 and over, then go to a gym. Use a cane? Have issues walking? Need someone to watch your dog? Go to a gym. A gym is a fountain of youth waiting for all, reader. It'll change your life for the better if you will go and be consistent about it. IN 2 weeks, or less, you'll feel very comfortable going, as you'll see the same people......etc, etc, etc. IN less then 2 months, you'll begin to truly realize why im telling you to go. In 6 months, and until a year, you'll be saying to yourself. "why did i never do this"... "I feel SO GOOD !!!!! " AND IT only gets better.....Try it. You'll see. ---------- So, i wrote a fairly detailed Thread yesterday "Eternal Security <> Salvation", and i hope you were able to read it and become even more secure in your Redemption if you already are, and if you are not, i hope that Thread and most of my Threads will help you to have a new understanding, a true understanding regarding God's Love poured out on you as an Eternal Redemption, thru the BLOOD of Christ. If you did read it yesterday, thank you, and i want to supplement it now with this Thread. And you can recall from the previous Thread's topic...... that Jesus will never leave you. Which explains WHY "Christ in you IS YOUR HOPE OF GLORY"..... And "hope of glory" means, you are going to heaven, expect this, look for this, and be happy about it. (HOPE). "Glory" is eternity with God with Christ.. Its everything that you will encounter after you are either Raptured or you die. And its all GOOD, and so good is it, that it has not even entered into your imagination, what God has prepared for those who love Him who are justified by Christ's blood. As i was driving to the Gym this morning, i was thinking about teaching the simplicity of salvation, as this is not always taught in a way that allows it to be seen in its simplicity. Now, ive taught the Grace of God all over the world, to people of many different cultures.... French, Asian, Russian, Muslim......etc.. And so, i learned that for Salvation to be understood as Jesus would want, for the benefit of the hearer, i need to be clear. --------------------------------------------------------------------- So here is a clear understanding of becoming saved.. Lets say, You are not saved. This means you are not joined to God and His Family and to Christ. The barrier is your Sin. Your sin has made you UNRIGHTEOUS..... So, Salvation is God's method of making you Righteous. Thats it. Thats all it is... You have no righteousness and so, you can't be joined to a Righteous God, whose name is HOLY. So, you have a prob. How do you get the righteousness that you need so that you can be a part of God's righteous family? And this is where all ideas and false theology and "religion" bite the dust and die. See there is nothing you can do, of yourself, to become righteous or STAY righteous. You can't of yourself do either. God knows this, so, He provided His very own Righteousness for you, as "the gift of Salvation", "the gift of Righteousness". The main difference between an unbeliever and a believer is that the believer has been given God's righteousness, as a gift. God righteousness, functions as a completed righteousness. Its all of it given to you, at once, and its sealed unto you, into you, and on you, until your day of redemption. (When you meet Jesus). God's righteousness Its Jesus on The Cross saying , "it is finished", and proving this is TRUTH by walking out of His Tomb....ALIVE. All of this is defined by and as GRACE. Grace, God's Grace, defines all of it. God's Grace, is Jesus. God's Grace is GOD making you Righteous. And the Righteousness He Gives you, comes from Jesus... who IS your Righteousness. Jesus is your Righteousness. If you are born again, then you have Jesus's Righteousness in place of your unrighteousness. Being "in Christ" means you are BECOME the Righteousness of Christ. This happened because God MADE YOU RIGHTEOUS when you FIRST BELIEVED. And in fact, you are exactly the same Righteousness as Christ, right now, and forever, if you are born again. Being SAVED, means you have Jesus in your heart, and in your Body. And Jesus said He will never leave you..... Being Redeemed means you have Jesus's Righteousness, in place of your unrighteousness. God dying as Jesus on the Cross is how God accomplished this for you. Jesus's sacrifice of Himself for you on the Cross, is how His Righteousness is given.... God then takes this Righteousness and offers it as "For God so loved the world, that He GAVE"..... And everyone who will call on the Name of Jesus, believing in their heart the Gospel, ... God sees each heart that does this, accepts this faith AS Righteousness, and He then takes The very righteousness of Himself, which is Christ's righteousness, and (imputes) GIVES IT TO YOU, and it becomes you. You as the "new creation in Christ" is you becoming God's very righteousness. "Christ in you", is what causes it, and you being "in Christ" is the result. And then it gets even better. Thats right, it gets even better. ..... First lets look at some words that actually mean "Grace", which actually mean "Jesus". Understand that Jesus is Grace. God's Grace IS Jesus... Jesus is Salvation. Jesus is Righteousness. Jesus is the Blood Atonement. Jesus is Redemption... Jesus is Eternal Life So, if you have Him inside you, if you are born again, then you have all those inside you, also. = Hallelujah !! .... And because Jesus said He will NEVER LEAVE YOU, then all of those concepts, that are your "Christ in you" reality..... are also never Going to leave you. Not ever. Simplified ?? = Because Jesus will never leave you, then Redemption, Eternal Life, The Blood Atonement, Justification, Sanctification, also will NEVER LEAVE YOU. So, do you see how God's Grace just keeps getting better and better? All of that is in you, because Jesus, who will never leave you, is in you. ------------------------------------------------- And here is the icing. Here is the pièce de résistance........ Philippians 1:6 """"Being confident of this very thing, that God which hath begun your Salvation in you will Himself perform it, until the day of Jesus Christ"" Saint......Notice this verse carefully, as its a Gold Mine in a universe of Glorious Hallelujah's . This verse is one of the greatest verses in the bible, maybe the greatest verse in the New Testament, outside of "God is Love and For God so loved that He gave, Jesus." This verse is telling you something, very very very important. Seal it in your heart. Deeply. Its telling you, that you can have Confidence in the reality, and the truth, regarding the FACT that God HIMSELF who started your Salvation, (made you Righteous) is Himself Going to Complete it for you..... until you meet Jesus. So what is the simple understanding of this verse? It means that God's salvation, that is given to YOU as a Gift, is all in His hands to complete for you, and He promises He will. It means that YOU DONT COMPLETE IT....... He DOES !! What you do, is try to please God with your life, that is your Discipleship, but that is not your Salvation. Your salvation is for God to complete, after Christ has become "Christ in you". Do you want the Koine Greek, and the Ghetto version, understanding? Do you want it right across the plate so that you can give it your best swing? Saint, this verse means, that God created HIS Salvation, that you dont control. A Grace, that you dont maintain. A Redemption that you dont supervise. Its simply means that God created His righteous merciful GRACE that saved you, so that you can't mess it up after it does. And that is why you can't lose your salvation. Its because God who started it, is the Same God who will finish it FOR YOU. Not you. Him. Philippians 1:6 This verse is simply teaching that The God who saved you, will Himself, keep you saved..... And as the verse tells you, you are to have CONFIDENCE IN GOD to do it. B
  2. This morning when i was in the Gym, and in fact, before i went and was doing about an hr of stretching and light weights, i was thinking about this "lose your salvation" madness that just infects so many Christian Forums and so many troubled Christians. Its is a sad fact that a person can be born again, and not actually understand anything about how and why, and be saved 40 yrs. Listen Saint... We live in an era where time is speeding up, info technology is off the rails, and Reality is becoming "virtual". So, the effect of all this on our minds, is to almost create a detachment from the real Truth, which is the Bible, and Who is heading our way from Heaven, soon. Also....Satan is alive. He is not Joking. He wants you in the dark, out of touch with God, and not really concerned about what really matters. So, let me talk more about heretics. I often ask one of these Forum heretics to post about Grace, and they never do. As a matter of fact, they usually become really really quiet. After all, a heretic obviously doesn't understand Grace, or they have rejected the Grace of God, in favor of only existing on a Christian Forum to obsessively try to ruin a REAL believer's peace of heart and soundness of Mind, by trying to Theologically con-job them into the Lake of Fire if they don't qualify for Heaven regarding the heretic's particular LIST of all the works they will teach that you must DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO to >stay saved<,..... Notice that the heretic is always trying to keep Jesus from keeping you saved? Have you noticed this yet? The Heretic is always trying to give you a Salvation Substitute that keeps you saved. That's their calling-card. That's their Heretic ID Badge. They want Jesus off the Cross and you On it , saving yourself by whatever list they want you to keep. Maybe the list is "enduring to the end", or maybe the list is "Commandment keeping" or not "willfully sinning", or doing "works of Obedience", or the always popular, "well if you turn your back on God, or lose your faith, or renounce your faith"........ So, all of that is just works, its all YOUR EFFORT that they say you have to DO so that you dont "lose it", as according to them, you and NOT God thru Christ keeps you saved. = "HERESY". The question arises..... regarding all they say and teach....how could they know anything about The Grace of God, to begin with,????? and if they did, they have long ago rejected it. See, you can't be a True believer in the Free Gift of Salvation, and teach that you can lose your salvation. These 2 positions cancel each other out. This is "double minded" on hyper-steroids. God's Grace and "lose your salvation" do not exist within the same Blood Atonement, or Redemption, that is only found in the "gift of Righteousness". Its not by our WORKS but according to God's MERCY" that we are saved and stay saved.. See that? You have to want to not see that, if you can't see it. "not by WORKS".... And what is "works'........its everything that you can DO, Saint. Its your LIFESTYLE, your THINKING,...BEHAVIOR.. its all the parts that make up your DOING SOMTHING... Its all YOU YOU YOU......and that is NOT JESUS Saving you. And that is not having FAITH in Christ........at all.. Something that is interesting is that if a person believes they can "lose it", its because they are trusting in themselves to keep it. So, that means they are not trusting in Christ, to keep them saved, but only acknowledge that He began their Salvation. So, if anyone could lose their salvation because they have lost their faith, its the people who think and believe that they can lose their salvation, because the reason they believe this is because they are no longer trusting in Christ to keep them saved.....See how that works? So, they have literally become the victims of their own Christ Rejecting heresy, and are oblivious to their own lack of True Faith, as their spiritual condition. Its the pot calling the kettle black, and its the same person who is both the pot and the black. And its also a truth that as soon as a person becomes born again, they almost always have a desire to know more about the Bible...... and the cults, and the Devil, (same Heretics) both know this, so they are always looking for the new Christian to ruin , because the "babe in Christ" is an easy spiritual KILL, because they are so happy to BELIEVE YOU if you can speak a bit of Bible verse and seem sincere. The baby believer has no idea that the Church is infected with heresy, since Day 1.....and now a long time dumbed down by doctrinally inferior "new" Bible versions, and so, many New Believers just get trapped and ruined their very first year. And 40 yrs later, they are found on a Christian Forum trying to convince all born again believers that being born again isn't permanent, and that "Christ in You", is only as certain as the last time you confessed all your sins... (that you can recall). Ive shared Paul's doctrine of God's Grace with many many people who want to just beat their heads against a wall because i told them that " the Same God who saved you, will keep you saved"....and why? Because He said so.... Philippians 1:6. Ive had the same group try to use that same wall and their same heads when i tell them that "your Faith is not what saved you".. as this comment just stings self righteous flesh. But then if i remind this type that God SAVED them using the blood of Jesus, and that their Faith is what God accepted TO SAVE THEM, = to administer the Grace, to impute the redemption, their SALVATION< then they can often "see it". But till they do, they will cling to Faith as if FAITH...this idea and concept...... is actually the REDEEMER, and not Jesus Himself. "Got to hold onto your faith if you want to stay out of Hell. " Well, not quite. What you have to do is give God your Faith, so that He then SAVES YOU, and Keeps you saved.....because you did. A Heretic, believes that "working out your salvation with fear and trembling" means...."Save yourself, because Christ isn't going to do it unless you are good enough, obedient enough, etc"... Do you see what this really means? It means the heretic is discounting and denying The Blood of Jesus as being capable of keeping you saved. It means that the Heretic is not giving full credit to the finished work of Jesus on the Cross as what SAVES and Keeps you Saved, and they are instead taking credit for it, by what they believe they must DO"... (Self Saving).... And they'd have you believe this also, if possible. They'd have you up on that Cross right now if you'll just be self righteousness enough to go.... Don't do that. Instead give all the praise, honor, glory, and CREDIT, to the SAVIOR GOD as Jesus The Christ, who saved you, and keeps you saved the same WAY He saved you. = God made you RIGHTEOUS and The Blood of Jesus Keeps you Righteous. (Keeps you SAVED). Faith isn't the Redeemer. Jesus is the Redeemer, and God saves us through HIM because we did what God told us to do, so that He DOES. = we BELIEVED. so, "faith is counted as righteousness", but its the RIGHTEOUSNESS that is Imputed, that is charged to us, given freely as the "gift of Righteousness"... that makes us accepted by God, = Born Again. = SAVED. Can you do all that for yourself? Heretics think you can, and want you to try for the rest of your LIFE.... And that is why they try to fearmonger you into thinking you can LOSE YOUR SALVATION< = so then you'll start wondering and worrying and then you'll start trying to SAVE YOURSELF... = Stop Trusting in Christ ALONE to KEEP YOU SAVED. Listen, If you buy their baloney you'll start ranting about Commandment Keeping, and working works works works, and before long, you'll be their newly trained Heretic and think the only 3 epistles in the bible are Hebrews, James, and Matthew., where Heretics live. See how it works when you add it all up correctly? ??????????? So, is any reader sitting there wondering about this word FAITH? Kinda unsure about how to understand FAITH? Alright. Think of Salvation like this... You are sitting in a dark room. There is a ceiling fan light above your head. There is a light switch on the Wall. So, you turn on the Switch, and the Light comes on. Right? So, is the switch the LIGHT? Is the SWITCH the LIGHT? ? ? ? or is the Switch what causes the Light to come on? So, Faith is the SWITCH< but its not the Light. Jesus is the Light. Salvation is the LIGHT.. Grace is the Light. Redemption is the LIGHT..... .And God has this Light and wants to give it to "all who will" (flip the switch)...., and you RECEIVE it ALL, when you turn on the Switch.....The switch is Faith. But...Faith is only the switch. Eternal Redemption, is the LIGHT. So, dont confuse them as one, as they are not. Faith activates the ONE WHO SAVED YOU. Faith is the switch, Salvation, who is JESUS, is the LIGHT. Most Born again Christians don't begin with the idea that "Jesus started my Salvation, and now its my responsibility to keep myself out of hell for the rest of my life by being good enough". This is taught to them by heretics, and once they believe it, the Devil then directs them to the very few verses that seem, at first glance, (and not rightly divided), which seem to prove that your salvation is a slippery uphill slope and you are standing on the wet Soap. Thank GOD Thru Christ that the fact is, our Salvation is not dependent on our BEHAVIOR, but its solely dependent on our Father God who SAVED US. So, lets take the bullets out of the Heretics favorite Gun.... Lets take the fangs out of the snake. A Christian Forum Heretic is always found, twisting their favorite epistle (Hebrews).. and usually one specific verse that says,.."if we sin willfully", ...The heretic proudly proclaims...so if you do THAT you'll go to hell !!!!!, And the final answer is... Romans 4:8. Its Says that God does not charge your sin to you in eternity, (no Judgement for sin waiting for you there)..... so, willful, unwillful, kinda willful, 12% willful, 73% willful, or 110% willful, this verse isn't talking to anyone who is Born again, because ... A.) Every born again person has sinned willfully since they were saved. . B.) Romans 4:8 Heretics actually never closely read the verse, (or the New Testament) because, notice... this verse does not give you any way OUT. Its says, if you do it, you are going to hell. And so, how do you know this verse isn't speaking to a born again Christian? Its because every single born again Christian, has at some point after there are saved, committed at least ONE willful sin. Every one of you, and your Pastor, Mother, Me, all of us. And if you say you didn't mean to watch Game of Thrones for 7 seasons, or if you say that you accidentally cheated on your taxes,(a few times) or you accidentally called in sick to your job when you really were not, or (speaking very frankly now) you accidentally committed a sex act in your head-imagination with a "non-spouse" that you enjoyed.... or it was an accident that you had 3 more pieces of cake after that 5th one....... so, who has not sinned willfully since they were born again ????..... and yes "little willful sins" count.... The verse says if you SIN. >Singular< ONCE....."willfully". ...you are going to hell, and this cant be stopped, changed, undone, or confessed away, ... and penance and purgatory are also OUT ! So, do you see reader, that if this verse about "if we sin willfully", which has no remedy, and as all people, including all Born Again believers have sinned willfully at least ONCE< then this verse if its directed at the Body of Christ, has just condemned all of us to hell and then the lake of fire. And no way to change it. No way out. No way back. Understand ?? Sorry, no. , Wrongly Divided. So, lets "rightly divide". First... this book, (Hebrews) is not directed at the CHURCH< in its opening greeting. As if you'll notice , as compared, almost all of the Epistles that are written by Apostles are written to specific BELIEVERS by name or "Grettings to the CHRUCH at ___________."..... But not this BOOK. ITs written and directed to the HEBREWS.....(Unsaved Jews)....and so, now that we realize this....... we can now understand that there is only one sin that is unforgivable that THEY can commit, .. There is only One willful sin, that will never be forgiven, as that verse says..... And this sin is Christ rejection. as this IS the "willful sin", that sends you to hell, because, if you die a Christ Rejector, you have willingly and willfully done this..... And something else that your Sunday School Pastor probably didnt teach you, or your Pastor, if they talk about this verse, and that is..... Its Paul who is talking there to this group of HEBREWS, and He is the one who Wrote Romans 4:8...and delivered the Doctrine of Faith and Justification there by..... So, more then anyone, he would know that there is no "willful sinning" that can damn a Believer, as God does not impute your sin to you in eternity...... Paul is talking to a group of Jews. The epistle is written to the "Hebrews". So, ask yourself... would Paul be talking to born again people about sinning and being damned by one sin when He wrote that God does not charge ANY of your sin to you in eternity, in Romans 4:8? So, i'll tell you what Paul was doing, until Acts 28 when He told these same type of Hebrews Christ Rejectors, that he was finished with them and would take the Gospel to the GENTILES from then on..... Read it. So, you have Paul, writing to the Hebrews, and talking to unsaved Jews, who are rejecting the Gospel, and He is warning them that the sin of Christ rejection, this willful sin, that they are "sinning willfully" has no eternal forgiveness found for it, because if you DIE having rejected the Blood of Jesus and the Cross, there is no Blood of Christ left to save you., and you committed this sin WILLFULLY., and it is unpardonable. Its that sin, Reader... Free will is a blessing unless you use it to willfully reject Christ, and you die this way. = Having willfully committed the one WILLFUL sin, that eternally damns all who are damned. This is the Unpardonable Sin. So, Hebrews is NOT ADDRESSED to the "church", or to the Born again Believers....... Paul is not preaching to the Redeemed in this "sin willfully" verse found in Hebrews,.......of that, you can believe. Notice that Jesus said.....>"you must be born again".....but He didn't say......And then, "here is the list you have to do, and if you don't"....... "uh oh". No, the list comes from the self righteous, who are infected early on, usually, with heresy and thriving self righteousness, and then just never were able to recover themselves, as its actually pretty difficult to stop being a preacher of the Law, pretending this is "Salvation", once you get up and running and have been doing it for years. And what makes it worse for them, is that when they meet me, or someone like me, they feel that they are being persecuted for doing "God's work", and this makes them even more sure they are right. Calling them out, actually tends to empower the pride in a Heretic, but, it has to be done, openly, for the benefit of the real believers who might be so very harmed by them.... So, that's just how it has to be. That's how it is. Satan enjoys all this so much. He loves to pit self righteousness against Grace and watch the sparks fly around the world, as He understand that "can any 2 walk together, unless they be agreed ? " So, he creates entire denominations that TEACH people to trust in themselves, and their works, and their self righteousness, as their way to keep themselves saved. = And that is what Legalism is actually teaching. And what it causes is STRIFE, and "where strife is, is CONFUSION and every evil work"..... So, Who is the author of confusion? Satan. And that is why i always warn heretics by telling them..... wherever i meet them, that "You are doing the Devil's work", as this is a fact.
  3. Hey Guys, So as a few of you know, recently I have been struggling with my mental health issues - Schizophrenia, anxiety, paranoia & depression. But just looking back at all, I realize and i KNOW that I've been struggling so much because I've been lacking in the area of spending time with Jesus. I believe that every day God wakes me up, that its the opportunity for a fresh start, a new beginning, a chance to start over or try again. I've been down for nearly a month now. But today in the afternoon, I choose to run back to him .And if yous could please pray about this. My spirit is suffering because I havent been in his word or prayer GENUINELY. It just slowly faded away and always put off prayer saying i'll do it later. Or say i'll read the word tonight, then i hop in bed and go to sleep straight away. I am asking if yous could pray for me cause I know I need Jesus and I know i want to spend time with him. And...I am running back to him. Thank yous all for your continuous support, encouragements and prayers. Gbu all
  4. Hi, I just wanted to ask about the way forward. I'm in a great relationship with my girlfriend for 14 months, but recently I saw my ex by chance and she is self harming and has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and had attempted suicide. She was also sexually abused as a child and raped at the age of 19. She is seeing a psychologist as well. She confided in me about why things spiralled. (Was in a relationship with a narcissist and ended up feeling worthless)So how, if at all, should I be there for her? And should I make a passive or active effort?
  5. PLEASE READ THIS EVEN THOUGH LONG ( INCLUDES A POEM I WROTE WITH YOU IN MIND) A POEM FOR YOU GUYS WITH A LONG BUT HEARTFELT INTRO: TONIGHT I WAS FEELING DOWN AND QUESTIONING THE MEANING OF MY LIFE. IT WAS THEN THAT GOD LED ME TO WRITE THIS POEM. I FELT LIKE I SHOULD SHARE IT WITH YOU GUYS. I KNOW THERE MUST BE OTHERS OUT THERE WHO FEEL THIS WAY, TOO. SO THIS POEM GOES OUT WITH LOVE FROM ME TO YOU. IT IS DEDICATED TO THOSE WHO STRUGGLE WITH CONFUSION, LONELINESS AND DEPRESSION. WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN STORIES AND UNIQUE REASONS. MINE HAS MUCH TO DO WITH HOW LIMITED I AM BY MY CHRONIC HEALTH ISSUES AND DISABILITIES THAT KEEP ME HOME BOUND. WHAT'S YOUR STORY? SHARE, IF YOU LIKE. I HOPE THIS CAN SPUR ON A DISCUSSION OF WAYS TO COUNTERACT SATAN'S LIES THAT TRY TO DRAG US DOWN. FOR ME THERE IS NOTHING MORE POWERFUL THAN THE CROSS. 1 Corinthians 1:18 "For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God." PLEASE COMMENT. I'D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS!!!! SOMETIMES I FEEL SOMETIMES I FEEL SO VERY SMALL LIKE NO ONE KNOWS I'M HERE AT ALL I WONDER WHY I'M ON THIS EARTH AND FEEL I HAVEN'T ANY WORTH BUT THEN I THINK THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT AND I MUST WALK BY FAITH, NOT SIGHT FOR IF I TRUST WHAT SCRIPTURES SAY I KNOW IT CAN NOT BE THAT WAY THOUGH FOLKS AT TIMES MAY BE UNKIND THE SAVIOR DIED WITH ME IN MIND HE LOVED ME AND HE TOOK MY PLACE SO ALL MY SINS HE COULD ERASE THERE WILL BE TIMES I FEEL ALONE AND MY LIFE'S PURPOSE SEEMS UNKNOWN BUT SATAN CAN NOT TAKE FROM ME WHAT JESUS DID AT CALVARY! WRITTEN BY TURTLETWO ON 6-19-18 (A POEM THE LORD GAVE ME TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS)
  6. Hi! I'm quite new here. My problem for sure is not that big compared to others (one of the things I find myself being guilty of) My negative outlook started 3rd yr in highschool (age 14 yrs old). I was an overachiever in school. Way back then, I love studying, reading and find no fault in others. Then 3rd yr highschool came, I did not have the grades I perseved myself to have, I started having acne problems and weight gain. I covered it with makeup but still everything is not emotionally stable for me so I unknowingly practiced absentism. I hide whenever someone I know from school comes to our house or when I meet other people in public. That was the point where I just stayed home hiding from everyone; pretending to sleep even with relatives visiting. 4th year highschool came and somehow I redeemed and encourage myself to never be absent on quiz or make excuses just to take exam on special exam days (that's what I did in the past year). So college came, I became indecisive in college of choice while others around me are entering prestigious schools that I thought I could enter but failed in entrance exams. So I settled in provicial college. 1st year up to 2nd year, my coping mechanism (which is hateful and defective) belittle and disrespect the school. I was treated as smart and good looking which I seemed to preen on; proudly separated myself from the group. It was 2 weeks of no one speaking to me, being alone always and I loved it; knowing they where admiring me. Then before the 2nd year of college ends, I think God gave me a push. He failed me a subject that will surely give impact and delay me in school. Failing that subject will be obvious because you won't be able to wear medical uniform. So I remained wearing the school uniform while still getting grades that made me be exempted from exams. 3rd year came, I bounce back from that failed grade and by bounce back I mean God made me the top of the class of that subject. Knowing me, it went to my head. Despite God giving me blessings, I developed this mentality of secretly being happy and wising others to have little failures. I became hateful when others posted in social media their achievements, comparing to mine which up to now, makes me feel small. So 4th year came, it was the most hectic schedule of class. I go to school from 7am then go home almost 8pm. God put me with this class of people who i'm not used to. They give these praises that frontally makes you say 'no, of course not'. I'll give you example: There will be a hard quiz on that day. They will say 'Oh you will obviously get the highest score, totally!' Then I will say 'no, way I didn't review'. It was like that throughout 4th and 5th year (until now they actually do it). The outcome of the quiz result will surprise me because they got better score than me. For short, they were toxic. They feed this tiny voice that is happy when others fail. I made sure I don't associate myself with them as much as our schedule allow. Being with them for 2 years made my standards low, made me realize my failures and I hated myself more because I started giving others opinion the basis of my actions. Medical board exam came. I barely passed it. I know that only my everyday prayers is what saved that passing score. Then I found out they got more than the passing rate. They message me asking my rate, I lied to them by omission. Then they said 'Oh you totally got way past 90' when in actuallity I got way below 79. This solidified my decision to keep on lying about my score and effectively questioning God's ultimate blessing to me (because that board exam is really important). Until today, I'm still buried in lies I blurt out to my family about my rating, about my failed job interview. I'm in constant state of sadness. I sleep morethan being awake. I hurt people who love me the most through hurtfull shoutings. I made promises to those who helped me that until now I haven't fulfilled. Through out those years and presently- I masturbate with this idea then whenever I do it the result would be a badluck throughout the day. Writing this made me realize what I already know- I really don't like me.
  7. Hello, I am in a very serious situation right now and I have no idea what to do about it. I have 9 days to move out of my trailer. I am on disability and only make $847 per month and I am already down to $400 being left in my account. Also, my utilities are in my ex-roommate's name and he moved out Monday so I my power, gas, and Internet can be shut off any time now. I have contacted every agency and apartment complex that I can find and I am getting no support and no help. I am a loner and I'm agoraphobic, severely social phobic, have bad panic and anxiety attacks and do not associate with anyone, really. All I have are 2 of my 4 adult daughters and they are not much help. My youngest is going through things. My 24 year old is stung out on drugs. My 25 year old is in jail and my oldest is in another city. I do not really associate with my mother because of things she's done to me and allowed to happen to me in the past. She is no support whatsoever. I have no one and nothing out here. I used to have my grandparents but they both died and now I am all alone. I have a man but he is in prison. I have 2 old male cats that I love very much and they are my life, but other than my cats, talking to my man on the phone and email, and God...I have no one. For some reason I am not getting anywhere. I have applied for all types of assistance and I am getting no help. I am on disability and am bipolar with psychotic episodes and have PTSD, borderline personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder, anti-social personality disorder, and schizotypal personality disorder. I have only been out of my house a handfull of times since November of 2009 and I have not driven a car since then either. I am not on my psychiatric meds right now because I had issues with my mental health care provider and plan on suing them. I can't go to a shelter because they are wanting me to put my cats in the animal shelter and I refuse to do that. That would kill my cats and me. My roommate was a 53 year old guy named Greg and he was very abusive, violent, and he spent his time harassing me, invading my privacy, threatening me, stealing from me, and trying to intimidate me. He caused a lot of problems around here for me and my kids and now I have to move out by the 18th of this month. He is a very bad person and he is on the run right now. There is a warrant out on him. He has 9 felonies and he's on probation for battery and has violated probation twice already. He had something going with the lady that works in the office here at the trailer court and she tampered with our lease and made it look like my daughter's name was never on it, he lied and got a protective order on her and got her kicked out of here, and that lady also wrote him a bogus letter stating that my daughter was banned from here. They had NO grounds. All she did was call the cops on my roommate 6 times because he was a threat. The cops kept telling us there was nothing they could do. I got tired of it and complained about that lady to the owner and the next thing I know I am getting a letter stating they are quitting my lease. I am only on here as an occupant. The utilities are in my ex-roommate's name. I am about to be sitting here with no power, nowhere to go, no support, no money, and on and on it goes. I simply do not know what else I can do. I owe the electric company $350, the gas company $65, and the Internet companies money. I have an eviction on my record and I have bad credit due to student loans. My eviction was really not my fault. I lived in my apartment for 5 years and was never late on my rent then new management came in and jacked the rent up really high and I couldn't afford it. I got evicted back in March of 2017 and I have been bouncing around from place to place since. I need a place of my own and to get my bills straightened out and I need people to help me get my life back on track. I have prayed and prayed about this and am getting no results. I need someone to pray for me that God will direct me to the people and resources I need that can help me. I am at my wits end and have nowhere left to turn.
  8. Loneliness, singleness, and other vulnerable emotional states are getting very common each day. I suffered a lot from loneliness, sadness, singleness, depression, and it may seem the end of your life. And Satan will not make it any easier, he will use these states to sow ungodly ideas in your heart. The most common are: suicide, sexual immorality, consumption of alcohol and other drugs. Stay out of these things, they are not the solution. It may seem you cannot be happy if you do not get what you wanted. But our own ideas and plans may not be the best thing for us. From my experience, the Lord desires our best, and He will not simply leave you in the desert without any help, with a burden heavier than you can carry. And it is really, really hard when you try to fight against the way you should be walking. Sometimes, it is hard to accept the way we are going to is not the way we have desired. But our own ways may look pleasant and beautiful... But the Lord knows to where it may lead us to. "There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death." - Proverbs 14:12 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6 I once struggled a lot with loneliness, that lead me to depression and all kinds of depressive thoughts. But at the same time I always preferred to stay alone most of the time, people can see this as a negative thing, but it is what I feel. We live in a world that people do not care about others, they just care about themselves, do not think before saying anything. Then I would not bring to heart the evil things people are saying. And I believe that evil words is killing more than all weapons combined. People usually understimate the power of words, but they can have destructive impact to anyone's life if they bring it to heart. You like to insult people randomly, just out of your flesh?! You could have been killing people without even knowing, just by your words. "Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him." - 1 John 3:15 This world certainly does not know God. It has no love for anyone, just selfish interests. "He who does not love does not know God, for God is love." - 1 John 4:8 Why people just do not love one another, in deed and in truth?! It would be so much better. "for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." - Romans 14:17 And another thing that is becoming increasingly normal is the state of being single. Nowadays, marriage is being seen as something not good. The increasing number of people who just prefer to stay single, and practicing fornication, and all kinds of sexual immorality. They have no compromise with love, marriage, nothing... They just want to feed their flesh with as many people as possible. Stay out of this path, it will lead you to hell. Fewer and fewer people are interested in serious relationship, the lack of love, and the acceptance of sin is the reason for all this. It is hard to even find a friend. And those who look for something serious are the most affected by this, because they simply do not find anyone. And quite probably they will never find, nowadays a miracle is required for finding the right person. Sexual immorality is the root of this problem. It is because of this the love of people are growing cold. We are living in a society that to watch porn movies is something acceptable and normal. And certainly this is an abomination in the sight of God. "For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God." - Luke 16:15 But people do not know the evil they are welcoming to their souls by doing so, evil spirits will sow evil ideas in the heart of that person. And they will have the desire to engage more and more in sexual immorality, if they do not stop, it will only become worse. The solution for singleness is not sexual immorality (of any kind), stay out of this. The anxiety that it brings, it can be dangerous if you just follow your flesh and try to find someone no matter what. You will not find, and if you find, high chances are you are picking the wrong one. I see this a lot, people just go out and pick the first that crosses their path, without even knowing well. This is a recipe for disaster and suffering, the ungodly will not lead to a successful and happy relationship. "But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you." - 1 Corinthians 7:28 It really seems that the best option for most Christians nowadays is to stay single. But before making a decision, examine yourself first. I have came to the conclusion that the best for me is to stay single, for many reasons. And as much as I would like to know someone, as much as I would dream about it, unfortunately, I believe it is not for me; all signs indicate this. And even if both are Christian, they will face a lot of problems. One of the problems I see is that they will not have the same faith, one will be weaker, the other stronger, one will not worry as much, the other will worry for most things, one will love, the other not as much. They will have to make sacrifices for the sake of the other... One may want to go out, the other to stay at home. And they may not always agree, more problems. One may want to buy this, the other that... Successful and happy relationship without love is not possible, and this one cannot find easily. Especially nowadays, when love is colder than ever before. The solution is in the simple: Love... But most people simply cannot see that, and some are unable to do so. And going around trying to find someone is not a good idea as well. You should focus on serving the Lord, and to please Him. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;" - Philippians 4:6 "But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord - how he may please the Lord." - 1 Corinthians 7:32 "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." - Matthew 6:33 And I know it may be hard to accept singleness, yes, I know and have suffered for this. But I would strongly suggest you stopping hearing yourself, friends, this evil world, and listen to the Lord only. Stop trying too hard to find someone, stop looking for sexual entertainment, stop making excuses for sexual immorality. And I know this is common, but to please the flesh is not the way at all. The flesh will only lead us to hell, and finding someone shouldn't be as important as hearing and obeying the voice of the Lord. If controlling yourself is so hard, it shouldn't be, then please I strongly suggest that you change your focus to the Lord. "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 After doing that, all things will become easier in your life. Loneliness will not be a problem anymore, you will just have joy whenever needed. Just repent, indeed, of your sins... Say goodbye, indeed, to the flesh, this world, and all that is in it... They can not give you happiness nor life, no matter how hard it is to believe in this: It is the truth. "Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God." - Galatians 5:19-21 "It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life." - John 6:63 The Lord Jesus just wants to save us, to give us a new life, and to take us to heaven. This evil world has already chosen its destiny: Perdition, destruction, hell fire. And all who follow it, will end up in the same place. Just let us get out of here. And only with the Lord Jesus this is possible. "For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." - John 3:17 And to anyone who believes in Him, the Lord Jesus has paid for your sins (and only He could do that) by shedding His blood for you. He will heal you, set you free, and give you a new life. "For the life of the flesh is in the blood, and I have given it to you upon the altar to make atonement for your souls; for it is the blood that makes atonement for the soul." - Leviticus 17:11 "For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." - 2 Corinthians 5:21 "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." - John 15:13 And no matter what you have done, if you repent, indeed, you will be forgiven. "Then Peter said to them, Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." - Acts 2:38 Just repent, indeed, and receive Him as the only Lord and Savior of your life... And you shall have life, a whole new life. "He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water." - John 7:38 Just pray, believing, truly: "Please, Lord Jesus. I believe and repent, please forgive me... And give me life." "Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." - John 14:6 God bless you in Jesus' name! "Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious." - 1 Peter 2:1-3
  9. Hello, everyone. I am extremely new to this site. I've searched around for various Christian forums just hoping somebody can help me. I don't mean to offend anybody or bring any type of discomfort to this forum. I especially hope I get no violations. This is a really heavy issue on my heart. I am extremely at the end of my rope with depression and anxiety, but what makes it all worse is how the world views me in this dark body God gave me. I have asked God why this color? Why not make me Asian or Native American? I tried telling myself that He made me black because it pleased him. Why should he care what the world thinks, or form me in the matter what would fit society's standards? I've tried convincing myself that God does not cater to how poorly we human beings view each other. Racism wasn't His fault. He is a supreme being over the created. I've tried convincing myself that only his thoughts about me matter. I've tried looking at the big picture that one day, all of us will unite with him and experience the real TRUTH about EVERYTHING. But none of this convincing is working. Deep down, I know there is nothing wrong with my skin color, or the hair texture that I have, or the physical features. If there was no racism or the harsh systems against my people, I would be able to walk down the street proudly. However, when you live in a world where DAILY, somebody is reminding you that your skin color is a problem, it starts to get to you...for years and years and years and years. It's like beating up a dog everyday where the dog will eventually think it did something wrong. Social Media is a terrible and evil tool for people to manifest their true feelings about me and my race. I have seen so many cruel things, such as: 1. African't (word CAN'T) as if we can't do anything. As if it's in our DNA to fail, or that we need extra help, or that we're born to suffer. 2. It is believed we aren't civilized. No matter how nice I am, or how wide of a smile I put on my face, I will always be regarded as another black animal. I know I tend to fool people once they hear me speak or experience my personality. I always hope that the mugshots shown on the daily news about a murder or robbery isn't of my race because what one black person does, the rest of the black people are also at fault for it. We are not individually judged, but judged as a whole. 3. We have dirt and less developed countries 4. Slavery was our fault (and even if we were handed over by our brothers and sisters, that still does not excuse the terrible unspeakable things that happened to us.) And even when it was 400 years ago, traces of it are still affecting us today. My ancestors didn't get to own businesses or have land passed down through their generation of future families. I was never able to relate to white folks who talk about the family lineage or how far down the they count their family ancestry. I can't. My history is silent, yet it screams of blood. 5. I am guaranteed at least once a month to see somebody say I'm ugly (not directly), or black women are the least desired all over the world, that their own men don't want them, whether it's to an Indian man, Asian man, White man, or even African man. Men of various races always obsess and desire a White woman. it is NEVER ever ever ever ever anybody that looks like me. And I'm not saying I need their approval, but, it will just feel nice to know that I may look beautiful to somebody every once and a while. I will never or hardly ever in my life see a man of any race say something decent about me. We're not on billboards. We're not on TV with commercials glorifying our skin or looks. When I was a kid white Barbie dolls were heavily emphasized in commercials. The other minority dolls only showed up right at the end of the commercial. I broke my mother's heart when I told her to take back the black doll she gave me. We're never even in video games where we can enjoy cool characters. And if we are in video games, we have very insignificant roles. In movies, we're always portrayed in a very stereotypical ways. 6. Other black people make it harder to be black. Like the Mugshot I just spoke of. I can name so many problems, like falling into gang relations, or having an obnoxious loud attitude, or have terrible customer service in various employment. Some stereotypes are unfortunately true, but it affects m as well. 7. We have the worst health issues. High blood pressure, diabetes, heart diseases, mental illness, Sickle Cell, Lupus, and STD crisis; one of the least healthiest people on the planet. 8. We are regarded as less worthy. 9. Everything a black person does is a big deal. While I get that our names may sound funny, we can't even create our own names without ridiculing. No one ever questions why Asian people have the names the have, or the Arabs, and Indians, and other races of people, but if it's a black person, we need to just have white names. What about owning a business. Black businesses are perceived as low quality. Mexicans and Asians can whip up a business and people will flock to them like crazy. We're not allowed to have a bad day or express anger because if we do, we're being violent, or it's the 'uh-oh, and angry black man/woman!' 10. We are not welcomed anywhere on the planet. 11. We are a totally misunderstood race of people. 12. Racial tensions drive me crazy. Just the insensitive and lack of willingness to even understand a black person's place or their situations. We're told to 'get over it' or 'it's your fault', or 'stop playing the victim', or 'you're looking at things at a wrong perspective'. I am going mad. Nobody understands us, nor do they want to. We are the loneliness race on planet earth. No matter how much we shout and cry and plead, nobody hears us. Nothing changes. Not even God will do anything. Black people fill up the churches like crazy and can be some of the most God-fearing people, yet we're still severely oppressed I am emotionally tired. I feel like I just want to go sleep and never wake up. My depression and anxiety have gotten so bad that my body doesn't feel the same anymore. Sunday night I cried to God so hard that I could barely breathe. What was He thinking to even create me? I feel so terrible because I grew up with a wonderful childhood to two of the most amazing parents and a high-spirited family, but they have no idea I'm saying these things. Suicide feels really nice, but it will crush the people around me. I'm 31 years old, and suicide has been chasing me for years and it is constantly getting closer and closer. I read the bible and I pray, and it doesn't work, or the healing isn't coming fast enough. What can I do in this impossible world where everyday somebody or something lets me know that my skin color will always be an issue? How can anybody or even God expect me to be sane? What can I do? How can I get out of this struggle? Somebody please help me. How can the bible speak to me with this impossible struggle? A throb is in my throat right now...
  10. Good Morning Friends! We have another Friday morning article to share with you all and this article hits home unfortunately for so many people. The topic of this article is Depression: Overcoming Darkness with Light. Nick did an amazing job on this piece and we hope it sheds light on those who have found themselves in the dark. This article could even provide information for you, so you are able to share with someone that our greatest healer is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He who heals and can bring those who are lost and in need out of the dark and into the light! Have a blessed day! Nick & Leah Co-founders of Abide and Seek Depression: Overcoming Darkness With Light Depression can quickly seep into your life and flood your mind with darkness. Though it may feel like at times that darkness has pulled us in too deep, there is always hope in Jesus Christ. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. According to the World Health Organization 350 million people, worldwide, suffer from depression. That is 5% of the entire population! More than ever depression has taken control of the lives of so many. But there is hope and that hope is only found in Jesus Christ. I myself struggled with depression for years. There came so many dark points in my life where I felt like I had no hope. So many times I laid awake at night asking myself whether or not this life was worth living. After surrendering my life to Jesus Christ, and being transformed by the sanctifying work of the spirit, I’m here to tell you it is! Even if we converse with people on a secular level, everyone will agree about the darkness of depression. Due to its dark nature, it seems that the solution would be quite obvious… light. Jesus said in John chapter 8:46, “I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.” The very reason the son of man came was to deliver us from sin and set us free from the darkness! The moment I surrendered my life to Jesus, I was set free from the bondage of depression. I know this isn’t the same story for everyone. Sometimes God allows things to remain in our lives for our benefit to make us strong, firm and steadfast. But through prayer and petition, and with thanksgiving, in due time you will see deliverance. In order for the light to breakthrough and dissipate the darkness in our lives we have to first bring the light in. Depression: Overcoming Darkness With Light Let The Light In In John chapter 8 Jesus declared, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” The true light that is already shining is the only thing that can overcome the darkness of depression. All we need to do to have this Light is follow Jesus. In Romans 10 it says If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. The first part of this scripture is easy for most of us. It’s when we get to the word “believe” that most of us fall short. Now I am in no way saying that if you are a Christian who is struggling with depression that you aren’t saved and its because you don’t believe. I do not know your heart, and there is only one lawgiver and judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. I just point this out to stimulate you toward thinking about your salvation. What does believing in Jesus mean to you? How has this belief changed the way you live your life? How has it changed the way other people perceive you? The word used for “saved” in Romans 10 is the Greek word sozo. This word means to save, to rescue from danger, or to make well or heal. Life in Christ means so much more than just a golden ticket into heaven, it brings restoration and healing to all areas of our life. This includes the healing of depression. Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full ”. The very reason He came was to pull us out of a life suppressed by the darkness and into his wonderful light. Grow Up In Your Salvation 2 Peter chapter 2 says, Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. Maybe you have truly accepted Jesus into your life, repented and you believe with all your heart. Now that you have tasted and seen the Lord’s goodness it’s time to grow up in your salvation. Depression can become extremely severe and equally as dark. Just remember it is never too dark for the light of Jesus. We need to not only be willing to taste the Lord’s goodness to overcome that darkness, we need to be willing to grow in it. Every new being we see in the world begins young and immature. If you have accepted Jesus into your life you have truly been born again. In 2 Peter 2, we see how we can grow up in our salvation. He says like newborn babies to crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it we may grow up in our salvation. Well, what is this “pure spiritual milk?” If we look at the exact translation of the Greek in 2 Peter 2:2 it translates as “like newborn babies long for the pure milk of the word.” We need to be feeding on the word of God which not only means the Bible but Jesus himself. In John chapter one Jesus is referred to as “The Word” and in chapter 6 Jesus said, “Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me.” We spend our whole lives feeding on the things of the world. The very things that have lead to the darkness that brewed into the depression you now face. When we are born again in Jesus Christ we need to learn to feed ourselves a new kind of food. The food of truth. Some of it may be hard to swallow at first but as we grow in Christ so does our understanding and wisdom. Add To Your Faith As we grow up in our salvation not only do we become more mature and wise but our faith strengthens as well. Although faith is a staple of our relationship with Jesus we need to remain in Him so that we can bear even more fruit. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. 2 Peter 1:5-9 Now that we have been born again into an abundant life and have escaped the corruption and darkness of the world we need to constantly be producing good fruit. We can only produce this fruit while remaining in the true vine, Jesus Christ. The scripture above says if we possess this fruit in an increasing measure it will keep us from being ineffective and unproductive in our knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But it also says whoever does not have this fruit is nearsighted and blind forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sin. In John, he mentions that the prophet Isaiah said, “He blinded their eyes and hardened their hearts so that they can neither see with their eyes, nor understand with their hearts, nor turn and I would heal them.” Even after accepting salvation in Jesus Christ we can become as blind as we were before if we don’t remain in Him. Fortunately for us just because we sometimes forget about our salvation and temporarily blind ourselves, we cannot lose our salvation. But I mention this because of some of us, through getting entangled once more in the world, forget that we have been sozo! Saved, Rescued, healed! This is when we allow darkness to seep back into our lives. We have to be conscious of this and alert because our enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. This brings me to my last point, as we see in the rest of the scripture from 1 Peter that I alluded to in the previous sentence, “Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” Remember you are not alone. As I said at the beginning of this article 350 million people around the world suffer from depression. This includes other brothers and sisters in Christ. But also remember that this darkness can and will be overcome by the true light of Jesus Christ. All you need to do is be willing to let the light into your life, grow up in the salvation you received, and add to your salvation by remaining in the Jesus Christ. When we focus on doing these things, the light within us will grow to the point where darkness no longer has any place.
  11. My new book, Faithless, will be published on December 20. The attachments describe what it's about, but I don't know how to find the people who would WANT to read it. I want to help people and this is my way of starting that. Any advice would be appreciated so much!
  12. This is a long post, one in which I've given a LOT of thought. Somehow or another, I believe suicide is my destiny. I don't know how or when, but it is inevitable. There's two elements that lead me to this conclusion, both mentally and spiritually. I've always been fairly melancholy; there's always been a deep void or a sense of emptiness. Metaphorically, there's always a dark haze within my consciousness (think Batman's Gotham). I am not now nor have I ever been abused by family, lover, or church. There are friends/family that love me and I'm sure would miss me. Life has its wonderful and beautiful moments. As I speak now, the golden Sun and the autumn rustling wind and aroma outside is wonderful! Yet, it all pales to the void within. In the last decade, I've tried to push past this by seeking purpose, something to be passionate about, and even wealth. So far, to no avail. My business endeavors have failed, cannot find anything to be passionate about, and certainly no purpose. Just, nothing, emptiness. As I get older, my family will be dying off; after a failed relationship I do not have the time nor patience for marrying. As early as age 15, I thought about the mudaneness of life. What is life? You go to work most of the week, come home attempting to savor the few free hours, and on off-days you catch up what you couldn't accomplish the rest of the week, only to repeat the same cycle over and over. For what? To keep the cycle going? Why do it? Suicide is the most logical answer, 18 years later even. Ecclesiastes touches on this very issue, of course, the point being life is nothing without God. However, that is not working out either. As Christians, when we accept Jesus as Lord & Savior, to save us from sin and to give us eternal life, we should gradually be becoming more "like Him", the relationship should become more of a living (maybe even obvious) reality, and our desire should be growing for Him. Frankly, I don't see that as the case with me. When searching my heart, I inevitably see it as self-centered, not really desiring God, and certainly not as a Living Reality. The efforts I have made to have a relationship with God, there seems to be no reciprocation, despite prayers to change my heart/desires, lead me in a meaningful direction, and to make the relationship more of a meaningful reality. Faith has never come easy for me to begin with. Underneath it all (and I'm not proud of it), part of me resents God for not only my creation, but ALL of Creation. Considering God is totally self-sufficient (does not need us), knowing full-well that most of mankind would not choose Him (even if it is by man's own free-will) and most likely suffer for eternity. That may be justice, but how does having that foreknowledge and moving forward with it anyway make for a God of love? Eternal fate aside, even the tamer "God grows us through suffering" line of reasoning, why have us endure it when God was perfectly content without us? It is quite hard to love a Being in that vein, even if He did offer to redeem us. Yes, I may accept His gift of salvation, but why create me in the first place? What's more, at my birth there was the chance I would not be born; my mother had a vision assuring her I would be born and healthy. So, obviously "God formed me in the womb" knowing the state of my future and had ample opportunity not to move forward with me. Why did He do it?? The only thing that has prevented me actually "fulfilling my destiny" is the fear of the afterlife as a result. Theologians can debate on whether or not there's a Biblical basis for suicide as a ticket to Hell or not, but that is immaterial here. Given my take on things above, personally, I wish for non-existence (suicide at the soul level). Unfortunately, I know it's not that easy. Christ is not going to redeem us only to end in non-existence, at the same time, I know the alternative is somehow worse. God will not allow non-existence without payment for sin in this life. So, either way, I lose! This fact only compounds my harsh feelings towards God and about life! I'm sure some here will probably say I was never saved or born again. For those that do think that, perhaps I've hardened my heart past the point of no return? The angst of living, the thought of it going on decades more, it almost makes me want to "weep and gnash teeth" here and now. I want to be redeemed by God, but at the same time I absolutely resent Him! Perhaps, I want redemption from existence itself more. In the end, I don't really know the response I seek in posting this. I know no responses will advocate suicide. Though, the thought of non-existence is absolutely euphoric! Counseling will not help, as I would be shut away in an institution or be doped up on meds and slapped with an outrageous bill to add insult to injury. Not sure if it is possible to see life any other way in a fully conscious and rational way! I welcome feedback in any case; thank you all.
  13. I'm rotating the Lies of the enemy As flashbacks of the past pound On my beating heart... You say you love me But like a scared child I plunge underneath my blanket And my tears flow on my pillows... Will I ever learn That you do love me? Will I ever learn to drown my idols? And walk by faith and not by sight? Waiting for the day when You'll get sick and tired of my complaints, But you still tell me that I'm chosen- How can it be Lord? Don't you see how many times I've failed? I'm angry at myself As I stare at my reflection... I don't see Christ in me, Only my selfishness I see... But you remind me That you'll never let go And that you will heal ALL of my Disease- So you take me by the hand And whisper that there's Love In your chastisement... I close my eyes to the suffering of others When I only see My own Troubles I need the blinders to be lifted off of my eyes So that I will guard my heart and be compassionate And see your blessings around me Oh Lord, how I need you... In repentance I weep, In faith I shall stand...
  14. Jenna Presley - From Porn to God (Brittni Ruiz Saved from Hellfire) Jenna Presley (born April 1, 1987) was the stage name of Brittni Ruiz, a former American porn actress. Brittni began stripping in Tijuana, Mexico while still underage. At age 17 she began receiving treatment for anorexia nervosa, which lasted nearly two years. In 2005 she graduated with honors from Hilltop High School and briefly attended Santa Barbara City College. She studied broadcasting and journalism and worked as a telemarketer. Brittni entered the adult film industry in September 2005 when she was 18 years old. Around one month into her porn career she caught gonorrhea. While active in the business, she was credited with performing in over 275 films. During her time in the adult film industry, Brittni used crystal meth and cocaine (to try to lose weight), ecstasy, and oxycontin to numb her pain, depression, and anxiety and to make it through the scenes. After three years in the industry her grandparents took her to The Rock Church in San Diego, where "she raised her hand to receive Jesus as her personal Lord and Savior" after hearing a sermon from The Rev. Miles McPherson. Further inspired by Rachel Collins, a Christian pastor at XXX Church, left the adult film industry in November 2012. Since then, Brittni began working in business sales and studying psychology in college. In a 2013 interview Brittni discussed a book in the making about her past struggles with drugs in the industry and about her new faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. In August 2013, she appeared on The View with Craig Gross, pastor of the Triple X Church, to discuss her salvation into the Kingdom of Heaven. Romans 5:20: Moreover the law entered, that the offence might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound: 1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Proverbs 6:32: But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. Leviticus 18:22 “‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 4 Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— 5 not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. 6 Never harm or cheat a fellow believer in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. 7 God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. 8 Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.
  15. People are so tired of me not being able to be happy again after my husband (soon to be ex) victimized my kids and went to prison for a long time. I did all the right things then... turned him in, got us out of homelessness, pulled myself into working, got the kids in some therapy (they need more, but I'm out of time in our schedules.)... bought us a trailer home so it would be affordable living... And now, it's 18 months later and I'm worse than ever. I see my life as completely spent with no hope for the future. Almost 39, overweight, never been pretty or well liked, lost all my friends that were from my old life, work all the time, clean all the time, take care of kids all the time, bills, house issues, car issues, errands, homework, health issues, etc.... Every day is the same... day in, day out. There is very little of my life I can enjoy. I mean, I'm thankful I have a job that I can handle. I'm thankful that I managed to get us some kind of housing that isn't horrible. I'm thankful my kids are getting better slowly. I'm thankful they are around. But I miss wife-hood. I miss being in the passenger seat on long rides instead of the only adult in the car. I miss giving my heart and my emotions to my spouse. I miss contented times watching a movie and my feet casually propped on some one's lap. My love language is touch and time. I have no one to give me these things. I mean, I hug my kids and spend time with them, but that is me ministering to them. I know God is supposed to be enough for me, but at the same time, He is the one that created us man and woman and designed the desire in me to be a helpmate and wife. I'm really lonely, and that's not something that God is answering me about. I really want hugs and tender touches to tell me everything is going to be OK. I want some one to encourage me and hold me. This is the most devastating thing I've been through in my life and the very person I would have turned to and cried in their arms is the monster who abused us. There is no one else to get comfort from. I'm not getting it from the Holy Spirit ((I'm sure this is where folks interject that I must be blocking the spirit and be closed to His comfort.)) When I'm at church, I'm very social. I laugh and joke and visit with many of the older folk and the ladies. People keep telling me how wonderful I'm doing and how proud they are. However, I can't worship anymore. I can't answer personal questions about how I'm doing. I can easily still fall to a million pieces or run and hide for a while in a quiet room because inside, I still picture walking in front of a bus, driving into an oncoming train, jumping off bridges, and seeing what it would be like to start cutting. I know I wont, because I don't have a choice. I have children. I don't resent them... but I do feel like I don't have options or choices. I simply MUST continue and I think I do resent that. It's like a person with a horrible, debilitating, painful, fatal disease. I think some of them get to the point where all they want is some kind of end to their pain. But I don't have that option. I HAVE to keep living whether I want to or not. There is no help, no counselling, no medicines, nothing that I can get to help me. The real decision is in my heart. Can I accept this life I now live and stop dwelling in this self pity and self loathing I'm wrapped up in, or can I not? Can I be content and trust God and be OK with this new life, or will I always see him now as a bully that squashes us like stepping on ants? It's a plumb line. A final choice... acceptance of my lot in life or the desire to rise up against what I've always believed in and live a little. This constant loneliness, it's eating at me. I am awake right now, wishing I had some one to cuddle... to talk to... to watch tv with... to tell about my day. Some one that would listen to me talk about the kids, the home, the church, the neighbors... my dreams... There's no one. And there are probably not any dreams left to share anyway.
  16. Hi everyone: Thank you for letting me be a member here. It looks like a good site, and it's easy to find your way around too. Would you mind praying for me, and also share some Bible verses to help me? I'll explain.. I am a Christian; have been since February 13th, 1985 at 9:58pm (Yes, I know exactly when!). My wife (or soon to be ex wife) is a Christian as well, she's been a Christian since 1983. On March 4th of this year, late afteroon, I arrived home at our house in the Seattle, WA area and found her with another man. I will not describe exactly where and what they were doing, but I'm sure if you think about it for a moment you can guess. I'm trying to be respectful here. It turns out they had been having an affair off and on over a period of years-and I had no idea. I can't believe it. Later that evening when I had recovered from the shock, we talked a bit. It was very awkward. My wife told me she wanted a divorce and "didn't want to go to church anymore." And I have been a stay at home dad since 2008, caring for our young adult son who has autism. So, that day I was also with no income and not much money in my wallet. I tried staying in our house for a few weeks because I had nowhere to go, no family close by to help me. My wife was around during the week and then on the weekends she went to her "friends" house. Toward the end of March, I checked myself into a local hospital. I had not been eating for quite some time and I had lost 30 pounds. While I was in the hospital, my wife essentially locked me out of the house, so when I was discharged, I was very, very close to going to a homeless shelter. I don't know why she had to lock me out of the house; while I was certainly very mad, I was not a danger to anyone. But I can't spend my time trying to analyze everything. I don't have enough energy for that. At the last minute, one of my sons in New Mexico arranged for me to fly to where he lives with my daughter in law and my grandsons. I am living there now, and I have to get a job, get on my feet, get my own place, etc. That, and deal with the horrendous stress of the divorce which is eating me up too. My wife, for whatever reason, is making life difficult for me even long distance. She's getting in the way of me getting access to funds that are rightfully mine, and just doing whatever she can to "get in my head." Me being without a job, and no money to speak of, I need every dollar freed up that I can get. My son has even paid for an attorney for me, and even the attorney is having a hard time. Can you get the picture that this is a nightmare for me? It is! Thank God for Jesus in my life. He's such a major lifeline to me right now. Please pray for just an overall improvement in my situation. I really need to get a job, but I am going to be honest and say I'm having a hard time getting through the day without sobbing. I sometimes ask The Lord how am I supposed to get a job when I can't keep my head together for a few hours at a time? And I really need my wife to cooperate on some things so I can get some money, any money, that's rightfully mine. I've been praying for my wife a lot, and it gives me peace inside when I do. I've also prayed for the guy she's with, that he will come to know Jesus as his savior. And a final request.. If anyone can offer some guidance, what are some great Bible verses that I can count on to remind me that God is not going to let me fail here? I'm not sure how to word it; some Bible verses that speak to God's restoration in my life in terms of not just money, but my spiritual life, my mental health, and just all around? I am trying to focus on just a few verses at a time and not an exhaustive study, as my brain is pretty fried and I can't concentrate very well at times. If you can help me I will appreciate it and please do pray for me. Thank you! John L.
  17. if you have a mental illness take your pills . I have bi polar. and ally life satan has tried to rip up everything I tried to do I had to fight him and I still do. to stay close to the lord. pray toi the lord and tell the lord to take satan away from you , satan is trying to win your soul and don't allow him to do that. the lord will fight satan for you. all you have to do is pray evwen if its all day , keep on praying
  18. Please pray for this girl "Kayla." I was on Yahoo! Answers and she said she was depressed and asked how to kill herself. I spent some time compiling an answer for her and now her question is gone... not sure if she deleted it or Yahoo did. I can't figure out how to contact her but here's a link to her profile if someone can think of what to do besides pray for her. https://answers.yahoo.com/activity/questions?show=LINSH7MVT3VASDOB6ZNBW4SNHQ&t=g To sum up what she said she is 15. I think she said boys she's interested tell her she's ugly or only want to have sex with her. I hope I remembered this accurately; I think she was upset that one guy in particular that she liked said he'd only have sex with her and she said no and he blocked her (I'm guessing online?) She thinks that God hates her and there's no purpose for her life. I'm worried about her and don't know what to do since this is online.
  19. “I ought to pray more”. “I ought to do more exercise”. “I ought to eat healthier”. Is your inner monologue anything like this? If it is, there’s a good chance that you might be… a normal human being! I think we are all plagued with feelings of guilt and inadequacy, especially when it comes to our spiritual lives and exercise routines. However, Christ came to set us free. Free from guilt and regrets; he wants us to be joyful and light like little children, who can laugh and rejoice and feel thankful. How can we achieve this? I am no expert on the topic, but I wanted to share some reflections that have come to mind: Sing more! Even if you’re really bad at it, singing is good for your soul. We let go of tensions, we forget ourselves and our deep worries and we let the music take us. When we praise God with all our heart, mind and lungs, we focus on Him and His greatness, rather than on our own feelings of guilt and failure. Improve your body language Studies have shown that the position of our bodies has a massive impact on our mind and mood. There’s no need to feel uncomfortable or shy about standing up with your arms outstretched when praising God; it will lift your spirits to Him! If you don’t believe me, search for Amy Cuddy’s TED talk about this topic, it’s very impressive. Simplify your life Of course, this is easier said than done, but there is no other way. Finding more time to pray or exercise is not a matter of seeing how you can “fit it in” to your already busy schedule, you will only end up feeling frustrated and exhausted. Technology and entertainment can take up a massive amount of our time, and are often a waste of it. You may have to take some extreme measures, like trading in your smart phone for a Neolithic one or cancelling your subscription to Netflix, but whatever you feel led to do, be sure that the result will be FREEDOM; more free time without distractions, to be able to reconnect with God in prayer and with His Word. Don’t let the devil trap you with a false sense of guilt The devil wants to trap you in these feelings of inadequacy and guilt; he will sap you of all joy and lead you into self-doubt and recrimination. I was once told: “if you feel a general sense of un-ease and guilt, this is from the devil, whereas God will usually pin-point a specific sin you have committed, so that you can repent and be freed from it”. Of course it’s impossible to say if this is the case without lifting up all these feelings to God in prayer, but if you do find that after praying deeply and repenting you’re still weighed down with the same burden of shame and heaviness, it is not because God hasn’t forgiven you or that you don’t deserve His love. Many dedicated and faithful Christians suffer from anxiety and depression, this is not a sign of a lack of faith or sinfulness, it’s part of being a broken human being in a frail, mortal body. As Christians we shouldn’t shun modern medicine or psychology; admitting that we can’t control how we feel is a brave and important step and a sign of a humble attitude, and we know that: “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” (Proverbs 11:2)
  20. How to Overcome Depression With Christ How to Overcome Depression With Christ Have you ever had a dark cloud that seemed to follow you around everywhere you go? As much as the modern day psychologist would love to tell you that you suffer from depression, I’m going to challenge there diagnosis and mention that it could be a spirit of heaviness or an “unclean spirit” that has been assigned to you by Satan to keep your mind in chains. THE EFFECT OF A SPIRIT OF HEAVINESS It darkens our countenance: Our hearts are down cast. This spirit brings a “heaviness” over us.. It dims our vision, robs our hope. The room may actually look darker. It brings a heavy, oppressive feeling. It quenches our faith. It may come over many at once , like a plague. It can be like a cloud, hanging over a place. It causes us to isolate, it steals our love, makes us feel alone. Medication is Man’s Answer to Healing I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 16 while attending high school in my home town. The doctors recommended that I take 20mg per day of a drug that I just found out offers a shocking statistic. One and sixty people who take this medication commit suicide and that alone is insane! How could a drug that is met to “cure” depression also cause 1 person of every 60 to kill themselves? The answer is simple, drugs don’t fix the problems, they cover them up like a bandaid and the more you take them, the more you ignore the real issue at hand. Here is God’s cure for depression To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. Isaiah 61:3 Did you just see what I did? The cure for the spirit of heaviness is praise. What exactly is praise? Let’s look at the Greek definition of praise. λατρεύω (la-TREHV-oh) means to worship or adore. Now the word worship in Greek is (proskuneo) is “to fall down before” or “bow down before.” When we hear praise and worship we think of singing our favourite songs or reading hymes at church service, but how often do we got down on our hands and knees and cry out for God? Is God the ruler of your life? Do you take time everyday using preventative maintenance by praising and worshiping our father? If you only go to him when you need something than its no wonder the spirit of heaviness is coming around for daily visits. Before your next attack or during one try to give thanks to God for everything you have. It is impossible to receive God’s grace without thanksgiving. Grace can cover you like a warm blanket and make all your worries vanish into thin air. If you are depressed also try thanking God for everything in your life.
  21. Alright all, this is yet another of my favorites from skillet (as you all may have noticed they are one of my favorite bands) and this one, is a powerful one. I saw them perform this in concert, and while I heard the song on the radio before that, when I heard the meaning behind it, it meant a lot more. John Cooper (lead singer) got up, and told everyone, that this song, was basically, a conversation between a young girl contomplating suicide and God, and how he would never let them be alone again. Powerful song about Gods promises, and definetly, one of their most powerful songs. So here it is, Skillet, The Last Night.
  22. Recently I read this study, on Psalm 1, and Pslam 150, Started by, ayin jade and Since my interests,and desire to learn is not limited to just 1 psalm, I had been hoping to go on to other psalms, and discuss the entire Book of Psalms, how ever some people do not like that idea, any way, it was suggested to start the topic here, so I have done so,. To see where this started, follow the above links. Hopefully please keep comments and questions ,related to the current Psalm, I hope we can go onto a new Psalm, or 2 or 3 ,each week, A important thing about Psalms, is they all , allways have the effect of, lifting me up, when I am down, afraid or discouraged, (like right now), Reading PSALMS always lifts my spirit up, gives me hope,courage, and faith. from Garry
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