Pre-marrital Sex

[other one]

why can you not marry for two years. Is this some legal thing stopping you????

[Smalcald]

It is hard.

I think prayer and a faith that the prayer will be answered. In addition know that many others struggle with this same temptation and do indeed overcome so you can also with the help of God.

If you fail, confess, repent and start again. God gave us sex so you can be joined with another person in total unity in marriage and we can have children, you have both of those to look forward to with him when you get married.

[Smalcald]

Also consider it practice for the many times in the future in your marriage when celibacy will be required of you. Times of sickness, depression, travel, business etc. The fact is all marriages will go through over a lifetime times when sex will not be possible, the ability to handle that is important.

[Guest LadyC]

yeah but... smalcald, not to diminish your point, but after a few years of marriage, the ability to do without sex becomes much, much easier.

newlysavedgirl, i understand that your fiancee is very busy with his residency (was it residency or internship? either way....) and i understand that planning a wedding right now, for him, would be overwhelming. but perhaps he might consider that scripture says it is better to marry than to burn with desire... a small civil service in front of a judge would be simple, quick, and could be done without any planning at all, and then neither of you would need to worry about temptation getting the best of you. you'd both be able to share in the blessing that God intended for married couples! and if the two of you wanted, later down the road when his residency has ended, ya'll can renew your vows with all the pomp and circumstance that you want to have.

as for him not being able to "properly support" you and the kids right now, i'm assuming that the two of you are paying for separate living quarters, right? and separate utility bills... and separate groceries... now granted, i'm assuming a lot here. i'm assuming that he doesn't live with his parents and that you are employed, etc. it would be beneficial to combine households and pool resources to make ends meet.

[Guest]

Welcome!

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yeah but... smalcald, not to diminish your point, but after a few years of marriage, the ability to do without sex becomes much, much easier.

newlysavedgirl, i understand that your fiancee is very busy with his residency (was it residency or internship? either way....) and i understand that planning a wedding right now, for him, would be overwhelming. but perhaps he might consider that scripture says it is better to marry than to burn with desire... a small civil service in front of a judge would be simple, quick, and could be done without any planning at all, and then neither of you would need to worry about temptation getting the best of you. you'd both be able to share in the blessing that God intended for married couples! and if the two of you wanted, later down the road when his residency has ended, ya'll can renew your vows with all the pomp and circumstance that you want to have.

as for him not being able to "properly support" you and the kids right now, i'm assuming that the two of you are paying for separate living quarters, right? and separate utility bills... and separate groceries... now granted, i'm assuming a lot here. i'm assuming that he doesn't live with his parents and that you are employed, etc. it would be beneficial to combine households and pool resources to make ends meet.

Just Like The Choice To Have Children, Marriage Is A Real Act Of Faith (Joy!)

For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith. Romans 117

Don't Fool Around And Miss The Chance

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22

To Grow Up Together

And Manoah said unto his wife, We shall surely die, because we have seen God.

But his wife said unto him, If the LORD were pleased to kill us, he would not have received a burnt offering and a meat offering at our hands, neither would he have shewed us all these things, nor would as at this time have told us such things as these.

And the woman bare a son, and called his name Samson: and the child grew, and the LORD blessed him. Judges 13:22-24

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Be Blessed Beloved Daughter Of The KING

The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

Love, Joe

[NewlySavedGirl]

Welcome!

as for him not being able to "properly support" you and the kids right now, i'm assuming that the two of you are paying for separate living quarters, right? and separate utility bills... and separate groceries... now granted, i'm assuming a lot here. i'm assuming that he doesn't live with his parents and that you are employed, etc. it would be beneficial to combine households and pool resources to make ends meet.

Actually he lives in a 1bdrm apt & i (this summer) moved back home with my mom to work part time & go to school full time for nursing. So it would actually be more costly to move in.

[Guest LadyC]

maybe he could give up his apartment if your mother were willing to let her son-in-law share her home with you.

[other one]

Welcome!

as for him not being able to "properly support" you and the kids right now, i'm assuming that the two of you are paying for separate living quarters, right? and separate utility bills... and separate groceries... now granted, i'm assuming a lot here. i'm assuming that he doesn't live with his parents and that you are employed, etc. it would be beneficial to combine households and pool resources to make ends meet.

Actually he lives in a 1bdrm apt & i (this summer) moved back home with my mom to work part time & go to school full time for nursing. So it would actually be more costly to move in.

I've never seen any law that says that when you get married you have to live in the same house. Unless one of you is waiting for a divorce to be final or something of that nature, you can get married and not change anything in your lives except having legal sex and falling into a different tax situation.

If you are sure and he is sure then just get married and do it whenever you like. Military people do this all the time. They get married and live apart while deployed.

[NewlySavedGirl]

I've never seen any law that says that when you get married you have to live in the same house. Unless one of you is waiting for a divorce to be final or something of that nature, you can get married and not change anything in your lives except having legal sex and falling into a different tax situation.

If you are sure and he is sure then just get married and do it whenever you like. Military people do this all the time. They get married and live apart while deployed.

I actually like this the most. I am at his house about 50% of the time anyway. The prob with moving into my moms is that my 2 kids and I are already sharing a room as it is. Knowing that it was going to be a temp situation for a better end I decided that it would be better to make that sacrifice (I had a 2bdrm when I was working full time) so that in a year I could make a few more thousand/year. I the meantime, we talked last night about really behaving (despite how hard it is). We'll see how it all goes.

Thank you so much EVERYONE

God Bless

[NewlySavedGirl]

yeah but... smalcald, not to diminish your point, but after a few years of marriage, the ability to do without sex becomes much, much easier.

I so hope that is not true. In my last marriage the only thing that diminished the "drive" was the cheating