How to forgive?

[Klassic]

forgiveness can happen apart from reconciliation. Sometimes that is sad but sometimes it is better so. I heard a minister say at one time that its not true forgiveness if it does not include reconciliation but I cannot agree with that.

[gdemoss]

Can God forgive a man without restoring him? Will any be forgiven in hell? It is true that in some cases restoration doesn't happen because the person does not possess the love necessary to be reconciled to the one who has offended them but chooses to try and live in a state of peace with that person. Even Moses gave divorce due to the hardness of their hearts according to Jesus. God gave Israel a bill of divorcement according to Jeremiah 3. My experience has been that when God forgave me, I was restored wholly unto him and therefore, when I extend forgiveness, I extend the same to the one who offends me. This morning I was verbally attacked by a woman who was and is deeply hurting because she is separated from God by sin. By the grace of God I was able to talk to her for the better part of an hour, which actually involved more listening than talking. It was easy to forgive her because I understood that her beef wasn't with me but rather that she is separated from God and therefore unable to relate properly to anyone else. The whole experience was wonderful though tragic as God put his most gentle, meek, peaceable spirit upon me with gracious and merciful words that searched out the heart of the woman for her benefit. I left with an awe inspired confidence in our God to give unto those who are spiritually poor through whomever he chooses to use. I was merely the vessel. God is good.

I want to be like my God who seeks to save those who are lost even though it doesn't feel good to take that sin upon yourself. He did it for me though. How can I not return the favor?

Gary

[Klassic]

God is able (and will) reconcile all things that is His will. I was speaking more of relationships between people. Even after you forgive someone that does not mean your relationship should necessarily try to be restored. Some people you have to keep your distance, even if you care for them. Sad but true.

[Fez]

This is what I think about forgiveness, how I look at it....

When I forgive someone, what God is actually seeing is a sinner (me) forgiving the slight or injustice of another sinner against me. Forgiveness does not make me one iota better than the person I am forgiving.

We are both as sinful in His eyes as the other, but the Lord knows that forgiveness of others is the first step in having Him live in me.

Or something like that......

[Tazcontrol]

I have a hard time forgiving myself.........for leaving my ex husband and my son behind. I beat myself up a lot sometimes and it just rips me apart. But I know my son is being taken care of my his father and step mom so that gives me some comfort. I'm working on forgiving my abuser. How do you do that? Why do I have so much anger? How do I redirect it? It's a tough subject but it's aparently something I really really need to work on.

[Fez]

I have a hard time forgiving myself.........for leaving my ex husband and my son behind. I beat myself up a lot sometimes and it just rips me apart. But I know my son is being taken care of my his father and step mom so that gives me some comfort. I'm working on forgiving my abuser. How do you do that? Why do I have so much anger? How do I redirect it? It's a tough subject but it's aparently something I really really need to work on.

Yep taz, it is a tough subject, and the anger you feel is very understandable. As to redirecting the anger (because a lot of it is probably directed inwards because it has nowhere else to go), that is not an answer I think you will easily gain here? It is something between you and God I think. And that will take prayer and commitment to work through. Or am I mistaken?

[enoob57]

I have a hard time forgiving myself.........for leaving my ex husband and my son behind. I beat myself up a lot sometimes and it just rips me apart. But I know my son is being taken care of my his father and step mom so that gives me some comfort. I'm working on forgiving my abuser. How do you do that? Why do I have so much anger? How do I redirect it? It's a tough subject but it's aparently something I really really need to work on.

Lam 3:22-24

22 Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed,

Because His compassions fail not.

23 They are new every morning;

Great is Your faithfulness.

24 "The Lord is my portion," says my soul,

"Therefore I hope in Him!"

NKJV

Many people make the mistake of living in the unchangeable land of yesterday but Our Lord lives right now!

As we build relationship with Him in the doing of our present choices according to His Word that wonder of

His Person increases within us. It becomes quite easy to dismiss wrong done to us now as we have His

presence so vivid in our being... His Love 'IS' the overwhelming power to change from what we cannot to

what He can in us! He keeps His Word Loved One!

Jas 4:7-8

7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

NKJV

Love, Steven

[gdemoss]

The best medicine for forgiveness between people is to look into the mirror we call scripture and allow it to truly define who we are.

1Cr 13:12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

When I open the bible and simply dig in with my fork and eat large chunks, it tends to bring great conviction of my person as it shows me just how worthy of death I really am. Such conviction leaves me with the impression that I have absolutely no right to hold anyone who has wronged me accountable for that which they have perpetrated against me for I myself am guilty of much I was never even aware of before.

We are all victims of some crime/sin against us and if we focus simply on what others have done it will only serve to keep us from seeing the truth about who we are ourselves. But if we will focus upon who we are according to what God has said in his word, then we will quickly begin to understand why we ought to forgive those who trespass against us.

Gary

[Tazcontrol]

Ephesians 1:7-10 In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will acoording to his good pleasure, which he purposed in christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment-to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.

Redemption through His blood is what got it for me. I say this because there are things I haven't forgiven myself for. He shed is blood so that we could be forgiven. I find hope in this passage and in His word. That the more I turn to the trusty bible for answers I get more then I bargained for. A Lord that Loves me and forgives me.

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

There is comfort in this as well. But sometimes forgiving can be so hard, especially when it's something so personel. But I think through time and more therapy God will allow me to forgive my abuser.

[redroses42]

Forgive and be forgiven they go hand in hand they are the words of our Lord