Immodesty and Lust - From a Man's Perspective

[MorningGlory]

I do not look for holiness here but in my heart in relation to The Lord I do ... outwardly I guard my eyes, I slip every once in awhile with repentance, but

I wait for the clean place where sin has never been nor considered! I actually yearn for this place for I will be clean and you will be clean and God will

be glorified    Love, Steven

 

Amen, Steven.  We will have that in the Kingdom. 

[MorningGlory]

Great topic and very good discussion.

 

I have struggled with this my entire adult (and even before) life.  I am knocking on 50 and I just now feel I am starting to get it under control.  Lets just say I am a very visual person. 

 

there has been many good points made in this thread and some of them I agree with totally.

 

First, for men that struggle with this, it truly does not matter what the woman is wearing, we will still look and stare.  This is not the fault of the woman, but of the man doing the looking and thoughts.  It is an insidious sin that can control a man if he is not careful.   It has been a 35 year fight for me and I am just now feeling like I am starting to win it.  In my younger days I had many vices, I was a smoker and was basically a drunk.  I quit smoking cold turkey in 1996 and went a decade without drinking and just recently allowed my self to have one beer at night and have no desire to have more.   Both of those habits were like child's play to break compared to the sin of lust, and there is no other word that fits.

 

With that said, what a woman wears can have an effect on all men, not just those that struggle with this sin.  A beautiful woman wearing the right (or is it wrong) clothing can turn the head of even the most devout man.  I do believe this is something that a woman needs to keep in mind as she chooses her clothing.

 

I totally agree, JDavis.  I also admit that we women have lustful thoughts at times and we should control ours as well.   

[nebula]

GE,it is wrong for a woman to tempt a man.By dressing inappropriately and having alot of the body exposed .And on purpose.This is going to be a sensative subject because their are alot of women out there not dressed as God would want her to dress.And that is even  women in the Church.It is wrong.No you can not control the way women around you dress but they can.Yes,if you are subjected to this sinful display then you do have an obligation to God to look the other way.But you are human.

 

 

Actually, Bo, the issue of women needing to be modest was never in question with this article.

 

 

Again, here was the point:

 

She commented that she would gladly dress more modestly out of love and concern for her brothers in Christ, but there seemed to be no corresponding “rehabilitation” required for these men who, apparently, struggled with lust.

 

As our friend pointed out, there is a glaring inconsistency in the church, one that allows men to make judgments about the modesty of women without confessing and repenting of their own complicit lust in the process.

[missmuffet]

Great topic and very good discussion.

 

I have struggled with this my entire adult (and even before) life.  I am knocking on 50 and I just now feel I am starting to get it under control.  Lets just say I am a very visual person. 

 

there has been many good points made in this thread and some of them I agree with totally.

 

First, for men that struggle with this, it truly does not matter what the woman is wearing, we will still look and stare.  This is not the fault of the woman, but of the man doing the looking and thoughts.  It is an insidious sin that can control a man if he is not careful.   It has been a 35 year fight for me and I am just now feeling like I am starting to win it.  In my younger days I had many vices, I was a smoker and was basically a drunk.  I quit smoking cold turkey in 1996 and went a decade without drinking and just recently allowed my self to have one beer at night and have no desire to have more.   Both of those habits were like child's play to break compared to the sin of lust, and there is no other word that fits.

 

With that said, what a woman wears can have an effect on all men, not just those that struggle with this sin.  A beautiful woman wearing the right (or is it wrong) clothing can turn the head of even the most devout man.  I do believe this is something that a woman needs to keep in mind as she chooses her clothing.

Perhaps that is why women wear scanty clothing to turn a mans head.Do you think a man would turn his head as much if a woman had a pair of jeans on and a t-shirt?Possibly if she had a gorgeous face.

[Guest man]

Perhaps that is why women wear scanty clothing to turn a mans head.Do you think a man would turn his head as much if a woman had a pair of jeans on and a t-shirt?

 

 

Of course.

 

For many who are prone to lust, clothing isn't even an issue. All they need is a focal point and their imagination does the rest.

[GoldenEagle]

 

 

Male sexuality is much more visually oriented than is female sexuality (of course we are speaking in generalities here, but without generalities conversation becomes impossible!).  Realizing this is a weakness for almost any normal man, Christian women should listen the the Scriptural exhortations on dress:  "Let the women dress 'shame-facedly'...."  and out of Christian Charity should not consider doing ANYTHING which may cause a weaker Christian to stumble.

 

Interesting. So would you include public breastfeeding into this?

What about wearing swimwear?

 

Curious.

God bless,

GE

 

1. I don't see any problem if a gal uses a nursing blanket or some such contrivance in public.

2. WHAT'S WRONG WITH PLEATS???

 

I agree with #1.

 

As to #2... Pleats? - A double or multiple fold in a garment. I personally see nothing wrong with swimwear.

 

God bless,

GE

[Guest Butero]

 

Don't get me started about the way women dress.Some of them are asking for a real disaster.Everything is hanging out.Everywhere you look.Women are just advertising.LOOK AT ME!!!I beg your pardon Butero but if women would dress more appropriately men would not have all those body parts to gawk at.It is totally obnoxious.

 

I have to agree, BoPeep.  I'm at work right now and pass by one woman all day long; every day it's a low cut blouse, tight pants or skirt and heavy makeup.  Even those of us who don't dress provocatively get the once over after the men hang out at her desk for a few minutes.  I pity any woman whose feeling of self worth is so minimal as to have to flaunt their body parts to feel of value.  But, regardless of the way she or any other woman dresses, men are still responsible for their actions when confronted by immodesty or, in some cases, downright lewdness.

 

We are taught to take our thoughts captive.  The thing about the OP is I have no idea if this woman was really dressing immodestly or not?  What one considers immodest, another considers normal.  I get what BoPeep is saying.  Men's eyes will tend to wander towards a woman that dresses like that, and even if they turn away, the image remains.  At the same time, some would consider a skirt an inch above the knees bad enough to cause them to lust.  I do recognize that someone going around in a way that is overly revealing is wrong, but I still feel the bigger need is for the men to deal with their lust problem.  There will always be women who will dress in a revealing manner. 

[GoldenEagle]

 

 

 

Male sexuality is much more visually oriented than is female sexuality (of course we are speaking in generalities here, but without generalities conversation becomes impossible!).  Realizing this is a weakness for almost any normal man, Christian women should listen the the Scriptural exhortations on dress:  "Let the women dress 'shame-facedly'...."  and out of Christian Charity should not consider doing ANYTHING which may cause a weaker Christian to stumble.

 

Interesting. So would you include public breastfeeding into this?

What about wearing swimwear?

 

Curious.

God bless,

GE

 

1. I don't see any problem if a gal uses a nursing blanket or some such contrivance in public.

2. WHAT'S WRONG WITH PLEATS???

 

GE,If a mother is covering herself with a blanket and she is nursing her baby I am quite ok with that.Their is nothing wrong with pleats as far as I am concerned.

 

I personally have no issue with nursing in public - with or without a shawl.

 

Here's some interesting facts..

It's legal to breastfeed in all 50 states of the Union. Forty-five states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands have laws that specifically allow women to breastfeed in any public or private location.

For more see: http://www.ncsl.org/issues-research/health/breastfeeding-state-laws.aspx

 

For reference where I grew up in Brazil breastfeeding in public without a shawl. So for me it may simply be a cultural thing.

 

Pleats... What are pleats? What is the difference between pleats, bikini, and a one-piece swimsuit.

God bless,

GE

[Sevenseas]

People are human beings...not lust objects but even more, the attitude that somehow condemns someone that does not dress like YOU (meaning an individual) personally think they should,

or perhaps like YOU personally dress, is not good either.

 

Some women really do not ask for attention but they get it anyway.  They become the hate objects of other women....sometimes Christian women....and that says plenty about

attitudes that need to be dealt with and I am not convinced that quite a bit of holy righteousness that some people exhibit is not actually their own hang ups.

 

Jesus dealt kindly with the woman at the well.  I'm not sure that woman would be treated kindly by someone who believes their morals are better than everyone elses.

 

I guess I should add that I am in a agreement with the biblical admonition lest I be misunderstood.

 

We really don't know what others are thinking, so basing our judgement on outward appearance only is easy to do but even the world sings "walk a mile in my shoes"

 

I think we need to be careful about certain attitudes...or we might end up saving the best seats in church for the very rich folk .  I do know that Jesus caused everyone to walk

away from the woman caught in adultery and then when everyone had gone, He forgave her.  

 

It seems both genders are participants in this thread and while some of are shocked and indignant by certain things...both men and women from the responses it seems....God

sees every heart and we really don't know what the person beside us that we can't stand the sight of and have passed judgement on (I know I've done that) might be struggling with.

 

There are ways to deal with improper dress in church that does not have to include throwing stones and passing judgement because we think we are better.  Without doubt, the

Bible is very clear on how to not only dress, but also how to treat others and what kind of judgement is actually correct.  We are not told to judge someone by how they dress...

only that people should dress modestly.  I don't think an unsaved person should be held to the same measuring stick nor looked down upon...it is what it is.

 

IMO, gossip and backbiting are far worse sins than a low cut blouse. (mind you, I have never seen dress or attire in a list of sins in the Bible...attitudes seem to be there though) It destroys lives and reputations.....I am well aware of what is in the world and how people behave.  We are only responsible for our own personal behavior.  As corny as this may sound, praying for the person who irks you is a good medicine....it changes your own heart and may just give opportunity to witness.

 

That's all

[MorningGlory]

 

 

Don't get me started about the way women dress.Some of them are asking for a real disaster.Everything is hanging out.Everywhere you look.Women are just advertising.LOOK AT ME!!!I beg your pardon Butero but if women would dress more appropriately men would not have all those body parts to gawk at.It is totally obnoxious.

 

I have to agree, BoPeep.  I'm at work right now and pass by one woman all day long; every day it's a low cut blouse, tight pants or skirt and heavy makeup.  Even those of us who don't dress provocatively get the once over after the men hang out at her desk for a few minutes.  I pity any woman whose feeling of self worth is so minimal as to have to flaunt their body parts to feel of value.  But, regardless of the way she or any other woman dresses, men are still responsible for their actions when confronted by immodesty or, in some cases, downright lewdness.

 

We are taught to take our thoughts captive.  The thing about the OP is I have no idea if this woman was really dressing immodestly or not?  What one considers immodest, another considers normal.  I get what BoPeep is saying.  Men's eyes will tend to wander towards a woman that dresses like that, and even if they turn away, the image remains.  At the same time, some would consider a skirt an inch above the knees bad enough to cause them to lust.  I do recognize that someone going around in a way that is overly revealing is wrong, but I still feel the bigger need is for the men to deal with their lust problem.  There will always be women who will dress in a revealing manner. 

 

 

It's great to hear a man talking about this, Butero.  I so agree.  Lust not only dimishes the person it's directed toward, but also the person who has such feelings.