need love advice

[Guest Anne Marie]

I am new to this forum, and I would really appreciate prayer right now, as well as some inspiration and advice. I have had a pretty tough year. I became a Christian this past summer, and the good Lord saved me from a dark road of un-Godly things, such as some hard partying. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for over a year, and we have just now broken up. He became a Christian just several weeks ago. Although, he is a drug addict, and has struggled with it for some time now. He has been in and out of two rehab facilities, but aside from that, he has been unfaithful to me throughout the relationship with his ex-girlfriend. I have forgiven time and time again, but he always comes running back on hands and knees proclaiming he has stopped using and will be faithful. This past time it was no different. He began using again, and I suspect back with his ex. I allow myself to go through this, because I know what the odds are, but I always pray that God will not let me him do it to me once again. I am not sure if he really even loves, because I cannot imagine someone doing the things he has done to me. It would take MUCH to long to tell everything that has happened, but that is a brief description. The last time this happened, I was so very strong, and I felt the Lord's presence all over me, but this time it is much different. I feel so low, lonely, abandoned, and depressed; horrible words to describe a Christian. Everytime he done this to me in the past,I prayed for God to convict him and to come into his heart and change his ways, if it be his will. The Lord would answer my prayers, be cause he would call and be very upset from convictions the Lord had given him. We would talk for hours about his revelation and we would get back together. But, anyway, I need guidance and comfort at this time. If anyone could help, I would greatly appreciate it!

[Budman]

Anne Marie,

For your sake, I really believe you need to make a clean break from this guy. I think this fellow is just telling you things you want to hear.

If there is no trust in a relationship, (and you really cannot trust this guy), then what is the point? You will live your life wondering where he's at and what he's doing when he's not at home. Remember, the cheating wasn't just a one time thing, he's doing it over, and over again.

Breaking up for good will be very painful at first, but you will have less heartache in the long run.

As far as feeling abandoned, God has promised this:

"I will never leave you, nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5)

I will be praying for you.

warm regards

-bud

[Wix]

Regardless of what God does for you, do something for yourself and get away from him. You have forgiven him and he has been disloyal repeatedly. It might be harder to be alone (at least in this aspect) because of the holidays. I am really sorry to hear it went like this (I will try to pray for you but I forget a lot of stuff ).

Sam

[his]

Anne Marie-

I am praying for you. Personally, I think that you should not put yourself in such a terrible situation. I cannot judge if your boyfriend is truely a christian or not, but I know that a person must truely repent to be forgiven. Repentance is a military term and it means turning from the direction you are in to another and not going back. A complete turn around. Sounds like you are seeing a lot of 360's. Most commonly situations like this get much worse and never get better. There is a microscopal chance that things will just get better, but from what I have seen the time most people truely repent is when they hit bottom. You need to truely leave-he is calling you bluff. Wait a good while...(suggesting a year...have patience) and if you see obvious consistant change then you should try to reconcile. If you were on the outside looking in, what would you suggest? How would you feel if you got married to him and had a child......would he really be someone you would want raising your child? Is he responsible? How are you going to trust him around your child....he lies and does drugs! If that didn't help, how would you feel if you had a daughter and she met a man exactly like your current boyfriend. Would you be happy for her or would you be uncomfortable? Guard your heart. YOu will likely be sad if you chose to leave him...but it sounds like it coiuld be worth it. You said that you are sad and depressed..etc. That is normal. All christians have a wide varietly of emothins and sometimes they are negative feelings. You could be griving any thing tragic, but even throught that pain, as a christian you will have a deep joy that is rooted within your heart and no matter how sad and miserable you feel here and know that GOD is with you...calming the storm. Take joy-HIS

[other one]

It is just my personal opinion that if a person is unfaithful once he/she most likely will be again. I am 57 years old and in all my years I know very very few people who were unfaithful and stopped being that way. Actually only two...

I can only put myself in your position and can not make decisions for you. If it were me I would break the relationship with your boy friend as a possible husband, and get on with life looking for someone who has the same values as you as to fidelity in a relationship.

[FaithfulFollower]

Anne Marie,

My heart goes out to you in this situation. This is not an easy burden to bear. Seeing as how many times this young man has not only offended you but disrespected you, perhaps it is time you left him in the Lord's hands. Sometimes it is best to love from a distance, and this appears to be one of them. There is a time and season for everything under Heaven, and all things are possible with God. You have tried to remain faithful to this young man and give him the love of which was felt to be needed in order to not only support but aid him in his attempt to change.

Not that this is a way of saying that he is without hope and that there is no possible way of which God can reach him. For he can! The Lord does not leave a child alone ever. Especailly when one of his other children prays continiously for him. Keep this young man of your past within your prayers, and love him but until there are evident signs of change perhaps it were best you left him to the Lord. Place him at Jesus' feet and perhaps with patience, time, as well a little bit of love, God might begin to work out a miracle within his life.

With Love In Christ,

Danielle

[Aida]

Danielle,

Thank you very much for the encouraging words. That helped a lot. I have tried my best to give it to God and to let Him work on him. I know God has touched him in several ways, because many things I would ask God to convict him of, he did. But, I always went back to him, regardless of my initial plan to step back and let God work with him. I also need to learn to forgive, but know to not get back into it. Sometimes I feel as it is my duty to help him, when I am the only positive thing around him. But that is the devil teling me that, because that is my weakness. I have a co-dependent side, if you can't tell.

I guess what he needs the most prayer for, and I ask that you do this with me, is to pray that God will help him to be truthful and to convict him of his dishonesty. Also, pray that he will either make ammends with his ex, or move on.

I would appreciate it very much. I will say a prayer for you! In Christian Love, Anne MArie

Anne Marie,

My heart goes out to you in this situation. This is not an easy burden to bear. Seeing as how many times this young man has not only offended you but disrespected you, perhaps it is time you left him in the Lord's hands. Sometimes it is best to love from a distance, and this appears to be one of them.  There is a time and season for everything under Heaven, and all things are possible with God. You have tried to remain faithful to this young man and give him the love of which was felt to be needed in order to not only support but aid him in his attempt to change.

Not that this is a way of saying that he is without hope and that there is no possible way of which God can reach him. For he can! The Lord does not leave a child alone ever. Especailly when one of his other children prays continiously for him. Keep this young man of your past within your prayers, and love him but until there are evident signs of change perhaps it were best you left him to the Lord. Place him at Jesus' feet and perhaps with patience, time, as well a little bit of love, God might begin to work out a miracle within his life.

With Love In Christ,

Danielle

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Cherub_Rocket]

The moment a relationship is harmful to our walk with Christ, it needs to be cut off. In the long run it will be best for the both people involved. If the two are meant to be together, God will bring about the right circumstances.

God bless. I'll be praying for the both of you.

Edited November 26, 2004 by Cherub_Rocket

[ray]

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things

I cannot change.

Courage to change the things

I can, and the

wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the

pathway to peace.

Taking, as He did, this sinful

world as it is, not as I would

have it.

Trusting that he will make all

things right if I surrender to

His will.

That I may be reasonably happy

in this life, and supremely

happy with Him forever in

the next.

A-men