how do we know

[Dad Ernie]

WOW!!

[Leonard]

I'm married!

[larryt]

Hi Jem,

And if you are familiar with the bible you will remember that Paul wrote 1Cor. 13 on the topic of love.

1Co 13:1

[RustyAngeL]

Easy, Lust is impatient, and love will always wait,

Edited December 13, 2004 by Rustyangel

[Guest hubertdorm]

As a teenager, there were many girls that I lusted after. I think that is a part of growing up. You have all these hormones going up and down. I'm not saying it is not possible to love at that age. It is, but I never consider dating someone unless I already love them. So, needless to say, I didn't have many dates

You'll experience many different depths of love throughout your life. You have the love for your family, love for other Christians, love for justice. Even in romance and dating there are different levels. Sometimes you'll feel like you're on a cloud, other times you'll feel like you can't even breathe! And, inevitably, you'll feel hurt from it.

There is no "lasting love" by itself. You have to make it last. Both partners need to make daily commitments to the relationship--to be devoted through the ups and downs and the sicks and the hurts. This isn't easy. But it pays off big time. And what is great is that you will find those lustful feelings directed at your mate, you'll desire a physical bond.

Don't waste your time on a "fling." And don't be fooled by guys who buy you something to keep you satisfied for a week or a month. They aren't the real deal.

[shammah]

If you look through Jesus eyes;

Some who appear the most appealing to the senses are so lost and dead inside; and some that at first glance seem unimpressive, have an inner glow that will last a lifetime !

1 Peter.3:3,4;

3Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes;

4But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God.

In fact sex even in marriage can hinder the true Agape Love of God, Paul asks that at times it is best to obstain from sex for a time, to grow closer to God in the Spirit !

So the fleshly desires are at enmity with the desires of the Spirit, so we must seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these other things, that He knows we need, will be added !

Agape Love is willing to wait forever ! Ephraim.

[Guest Getting_Real]

Didn't Paul say that couples were not to deny each other sex (as a form of manipulation) unless it was by mutual consent for the purpose of prayer?

Anyways, it's also interesting to look at the difference between Love and Limerance. I think there is a reasonable amount of writing, and a book or something, out there on this topic.

Basically it highlights the difference between the initial buzz feelings, that last an average of 9 months to 2 years, and the deeper love, as evidenced in long-term marriages.

[shammah]

GettingReal;

I was trying to look up that scripture; but I couldn't remember the KJV key words !

Your right ! Find those darn scriptures for Me ! Mutual consent is correct !

Ofcourse when you've been married as long as I have ; both me and my wife tend to forget, let alone needing mutual consent !

We Love each other soooooooooo much with Agape Love ; the other kind is fun, but almost silly compared to the real Love from above !

BUT! It's very important you forget together; because Paul also says something like (the man body is not his own but the womans; and the womans body is not his own but the mans)!

Okay I looked it up in the Amplified version, which is usually good for clarity! I got lazy, I found it in my concordance under wife.

1 Cor.7:3-9;

3The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights (goodwill, kindness, and what is due her as his wife), and likewise the wife to her husband.

4For the wife does not have [exclusive] authority and control over her own body, but the husband [has his rights]; likewise also the husband does not have [exclusive] authority and control over his body, but the wife [has her rights].

5Do not refuse and deprive and defraud each other [of your due marital rights], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves unhindered to prayer. But afterwards resume marital relations, lest Satan tempt you [to sin] through your lack of restraint of sexual desire.(A)

6But I am saying this more as a matter of permission and concession, not as a command or regulation.

7I wish that all men were like I myself am [in this matter of self-control]. But each has his own special gift from God, one of this kind and one of another.

8But to the unmarried people and to the widows, I declare that it is well (good, advantageous, expedient, and wholesome) for them to remain [single] even as I do.

9But if they have not self-control (restraint of their passions), they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame [with passion and tortured continually with ungratified desire].

So I think we would think of Paul quite strange in our sensual world today; but when you get to be an old geezer christian like my wife and I, or is she a gezete?

But any way She is my dearest best friend , which is the Kind of Love from the father that never fails, we would rather hurt ourselves than each other!

It's that type of Love that comes from the Father that Lasts; that one would lay there life down for the one they Love; but He did it while we were still enemies, not knowing Him ,and born to sin!

Agape in Christ Ephraim.

[other one]

If holding hands is enough, it's love. If it is not enough it is lust. Real love will wait with anticipation. Lust waits for no one (male or female).

Lust is not all bad, my wife enjoys my lust for her. It still has to be under controll not to cause problems, but I don't think it is a sin to lust after your wife.

Lust is hormonal, and love is emotional. Lust leads to a bed, love leads to the world, just being with someone. Because of the hormonal desires for the one you truly love, this world has confused the two together and dropped the love part for lust. For too many love has become the hormonal thing.

[Guest hubertdorm]

I generally agree with everyone here, but at the same time, people who are in love can and have had sexual relations with one another previous to marriage. It doesn't mean that they weren't in love only lust, just means that they are human.