Lonely at church

[Overflowing]

Hi everyone. New to worthy. Just did my 5 required post so I could post here. Today is obviously Sunday and I feel a bit isolated I guess from my church brothers and sisters. Here is some background information. I am 30 and was married at 18. I have kids ranging from 1-10. I go to a church that is in a very upper middle class/wealthy area. I feel like I am not connecting with anyone at the church. All my kids friends moms are in their 40s and even 50s. They see me as young but I don't fit in with people my age at church because they are not where I am in life. We also live a distance from the church compared to most members who are close by(which is more of a they have more than I do thing). How do I get more plugged in and develop connections when I don't feel accepted by my peers? I talk to people and put on a good show but I feel really alone at church. It's Sunday again and I feel saddened every week.

[OneLight]

May I ask the reason why you chose this one particular church?  I ask because you say you live "a distance from" the church. 

[Overflowing]

May I ask the reason why you chose this one particular church?  I ask because you say you live "a distance from" the church.

In my area it is predominantly Catholic churches. All Christian churches are all a good distance from where I live. This one is actually one of the closest if not the closest. We've considered moving churches not necessarily due to the difference of our economic situations but even if we did, other Christian churches near me are all located a distance from me and are all in upper upper middle class areas.

[Fez]

My church has a "gradient" of very wealthy (not me...), to low income earners, and although there is some "grouping" in personal lives (like taking holidays at the same places if you can afford it), when it comes to church activities we are all as one. People with a lower income are assisted with lifts, even finances if we book a church camp and some can't afford it.

 

We are rural so the distance thing is a given. I have a 60 km round trip to church on Sundays myself.

 

Have you tried to get involved in stuff outside the church like home groups, prayer meetings, etc? Or volunteered for service in the church? I am on our church leadership team, and still clean toilets, put out chairs, sort out coffee, do announcements, etc. Service really helps to fit one into a church, and Lord knows in my church we need the help.

[Overflowing]

My church has a "gradient" of very wealthy (not me...), to low income earners, and although there is some "grouping" in personal lives (like taking holidays at the same places if you can afford it), when it comes to church activities we are all as one. People with a lower income are assisted with lifts, even finances if we book a church camp and some can't afford it.

 

We are rural so the distance thing is a given. I have a 60 km round trip to church on Sundays myself.

 

Have you tried to get involved in stuff outside the church like home groups, prayer meetings, etc? Or volunteered for service in the church? I am on our church leadership team, and still clean toilets, put out chairs, sort out coffee, do announcements, etc. Service really helps to fit one into a church, and Lord knows in my church we need the help.

I am fairly active in the church and so my husband. My kids also actively attend all kid related functions ie vbs, Brigade, Pioneer girls etc. My husband leads a teen group. And I serve in the nursery nearly every week. I've gone to several bible studies and small groups over the years. Recently not attending due to working one day a week and that just happens to be the day. I also volunteer for most church functions. Everyone talks to me and vice versa so it's not not meeting people or that I am shy. I feel more that they don't necessarily invite me to outside of church get togethers. And I am hurt (even tho Of course I don't say anything) when I "find" out. I do feel that it is a combination of members who grew up in the church and everyone knows each other kind of thing combined with my age and possibly monetary. I am actually not poor even though we live in the less desirable area. We do possibly appear poorwe "

[Overflowing]

Poorer became we live in a different neighborhood but we actually make what they make. Next year we are actually moving to that neighborhood for the better schools. I actually am hoping this will "help ".

[Fez]

Poorer became we live in a different neighborhood but we actually make what they make. Next year we are actually moving to that neighborhood for the better schools. I actually am hoping this will "help ".

It is a great pity that one's "station" in life should direct how one fellowships. I would suggest it is an area that your church needs to look at seriously. Have you invited anyone from your church to your home for a meal, or a coffee? 

[enoob57]

Hi everyone. New to worthy. Just did my 5 required post so I could post here. Today is obviously Sunday and I feel a bit isolated I guess from my church brothers and sisters. Here is some background information. I am 30 and was married at 18. I have kids ranging from 1-10. I go to a church that is in a very upper middle class/wealthy area. I feel like I am not connecting with anyone at the church. All my kids friends moms are in their 40s and even 50s. They see me as young but I don't fit in with people my age at church because they are not where I am in life. We also live a distance from the church compared to most members who are close by(which is more of a they have more than I do thing). How do I get more plugged in and develop connections when I don't feel accepted by my peers? I talk to people and put on a good show but I feel really alone at church. It's Sunday again and I feel saddened every week.

The blessings of God is to continually walk with Him in s(S)pirit and not fulfill the lust of

the flesh Gal 5:16 ...

We are called to keep The Presence of God in our person foremost- whereby we are never alone but always

with Him and when we take our eyes off Him onto ourselves and others we fail in the walk of The

Spirit-> Whom with the timidity of the dove Lives within The Children's beings and will allow

this! Causing as separation from the obedience into confusion... Those born of the Spirit of God know

that that having or the not having is a useless consideration to the things God 'IS' keeping for

all eternities... God has you there for a purpose to build up the body of believers that are

there and in obedience to this accomplishing by God Word of promise (walking in s(S)pirit) all the

troubles you are having will vanish as if never there Love, Steven

Edited July 1, 2014 by enoob57

[kwikphilly]

Blessings overflowing

    Welcome to Worthy.......I am sorry that you feel like or are being made to feel like an outsider at your church......it is not a pleasant circumstance.the really sad part is that if the church's own member does not feel a part of the congregation,what does the first time visitor feel when they come through those doors?

     Have you spoken to your pastor or any elders,mothers?Try joining any groups within the church that do things outside to serve the community?Well,either they are not very welcoming & do look down on those that do not live in their upper-class neighborhood or you just feel you don't fit in because of your own feelings about they way you think you are alienated.......either way,a problem that should be addressed & I believe the pastor should be equipped to handle your concerns

    Oh,I am a non-denominational Christian & I have been to a couple of catholic churches in my community & they had very nice services & I would not have even known they were catholic if someone didn't tell me.......you never now where you may be welcomed into the Body of Christ

                                                                                                                                              With love-in Christ,Kwik

[Littlelambseativy]

Do you work ? If not have you attempted to ask some of the ladies for coffee or lunch ? That does not have to be in your homer it can bee in a coffee shop. Living out of town/ city for school or church makes a difference . These people grow up together and participate in things, many from childhood and have long standing relationships and know people and events that you may not know. Many times it also takes being a friend to have friends. It may have nothing to do with economics but childhood friendships.