Help with a Decision

[leftoverture]

I'm looking for some feedback. My wife and I have been invited to my niece's "wedding" next month and we are requested to RSVP. Now, my problem is this: my niece is gay and the person she is "marrying" lives as a man but is really a woman. The people of the state of MN made this legal a couple years ago.

 

Obviously, my wife and I don't agree with this lifestyle choice. And I am not posting this to get anyone's views on that lifestyle choice or homosexuality in general. Rather, we are conflicted about whether or not to attend this event. And that is what I would like input on.

 

On one hand, we don't want to go because we don't condone the lifestyle choice and we don't want to even suggest that we condone it. I also think that we may find the "service" to be offensive.

 

On the other hand, this is my family. What message about Christian love do we send if we don't attend? Will we be closing the door to a future witnessing opportunity? Most of my family is very, very liberal and they do not understand the Christian way. And my parents are very old and I don't want to start conflict with them that may not be resolved before they pass.

 

Is it a valid option to skip the service but go to the reception?

 

I appreciate your well thought out input on the situation, but realizing this is a controversial topic, please restrict your input to the choice we have to make.

 

Thanks & God bless.

[OneLight]

I am in the same situation, sort of.  The request has not come, but the expectation is still there.  To be honest, if you attend, you are, in a way, agreeing to the marriage.  Personally, I would not attend.  The person in my life is my daughter, and though I will always love her, I cannot not support her in her bad decisions.  To me, the questions is, do I stand for God or do I stand for choice.

[Fez]

I am with OneLight. A hard decision to make, and one that could have major repercussions family wise I guess.

 

can you speak to your niece? How close to her are you?

 

Could you for instance tell her that you really love her, but attending her wedding would be against what you believe, and would make you very uncomfortable. If my niece (who I can talk frankly to, but then again she is saved), was to enter into a gay marriage, because I can talk to her, I would tell her how uncomfortable it wold make me, even though i love her very much.

[Serendipity]

My step father in law has a younger brother who is gay.  He received an invitation from his brother to a wedding ceremony and refused.  They were not that close but visit when his brother comes back to see his mother and sister.  I don't have the full story on whether it bothered him not having his brother attend his ceremony.    Like Fez said above.... are you close to her.... perhaps you could phone her.  Agree too, to letting her know you love her either by mail or a phone call.  

[other one]

I can only tell you what I personally would do in your postition........   I'd have a very long talk with your niece.  I have a cousin that could be putting us in the same situation if we had single sex marriages there......    the problem is that I really like my cousin and our family on that side of the family is really close....   she knows my stand on her lifestyle, but also knows that we love her as family anyway......    most likely I would attend her wedding for she and her friends know my stance on single sex marriage.......   and that's not much different than being married five or six times or sleeping around.  There are much worse things in this world than a single sex couple.

[Joy and love]

A while ago I read or either heard it's right to attend it as a friend or family member, but as long you bring up you don't agree on that style of living.

[leftoverture]

Thanks everyone for the replies. Your input was helpful!

 

God bless.

[FreeinChrist]

IMO everyone seems to have a great idea and talking to your niece would be a great second step.  I would probably use the option of skipping the Wedding, and going to the reception with her having the knowledge that I disagree with the marriage, but as a family member I will always be there to support you,

 

Of course the first step is to take it to God in prayer.

 

Praying for you Brother.