Protestant-Catholic Dating

[Augustus McCrae]

Hello again. I am seeking advice regarding Protestant-Catholic dating. I am a non-denominational Christian and am interested in a Catholic girl I know. Obviously, we are both Christians, but there is enough difference to give me slight pause and start me to thinking before I pursue any relationship beyond friends (realize I tend to way over think things "big picture" long term wise; I was an avid chess player and I think this may be a side effect). This is not as much about her and I in specific, but protestant-catholic dating in general.

In the event a Protestant and Catholic get married, how do you reconcile where you get married? The Catholic would want a Catholic wedding, whereas a Protestant would want to be married by their pastor. How do you raise the kids (catholic or protestant)? Where do you go to church? How do you reconcile any doctrinal beliefs? I realize these are all valid questions in any setting where you are dating someone from any other church than your own, but it is also even more applicable in such a large difference as Catholic and Protestant.

Any advice on these topics I brought up or any other that you may think of for this situation?

(I don't know all the policies regarding denominations and sects and such for this website. I tried to frame this question as tactfully and respectfully as I could so as not to offend anyone)

 

ADDENDUM: READ THIS PLEASE- I am in no way considering marriage. I hardly know this girl and I shouldn't have even brought her up. I was only contemplating the ramifications of Protestant/Catholic dating due to my vague interest in her.

Edited October 27, 2014 by Augustus McCrae

[Fez]

Do you love her?

[OneLight]

Sounds to me like you two have a lot to discuss, if you are considering marriage.

[Augustus McCrae]

Once again, to clarify, we aren't even dating yet, repeat, WE ARE NOT EVEN DATING. The thought of catholic/protestant dating led to a long chain of thoughts that ended in thinking about protestant/catholic marriage and the ramifications. 

[Guest shiloh357]

Once again, to clarify, we aren't even dating yet, repeat, WE ARE NOT EVEN DATING. The thought of catholic/protestant dating led to a long chain of thoughts that ended in thinking about protestant/catholic marriage and the ramifications. 

Why not find a girl you have something in common with denominationally and doctrinally?  You are going to find the difficulties very daunting.  

 

Really it is going to cause more problems than you want to deal with. 

[Alejandro84]

Is it  just obvious augustus? the doctrine of transubstantiation is a denial of the one time sacrifice of Christ. And the system of  sacramental "grace" is a works based salvation in which is another gospel. If this girl truly has a heart for the Lord she will see that the mass is contrary to the truth of scripture, she will see that there is only one head of the church which is Christ, and she will see that there is only one vicar which is the Holy Spirit. Its not even about being protestant either, its about having the same faith of abraham, thats what its all about, the believers in the first second and third century came to faith, and walked by faith, just how abraham did. And this is before the reformation

[alien224]

Good advice from alex.

[RustyAngeL]

My husband was a Catholic when I married him, he soon joined my side.  We had 25 wonderful years when I lost him 6 years ago.  Listen to God's voice and  know for sure.

[other one]

Augustus,   you need to answer Fez's question.   It makes a lot of difference....   considering you haven't started dating, I don't see how the answer could be yes......    

 

Unless it's changed in the last ten years, if she is a true catholic to her faith, she will not marry you unless you convert... 

 

I would say that it really depends on her and how true to her faith she is.

[Qnts2]

When deciding to date a person from a differing religious belief, there are risks.

 

One risk is that they might try to influence your beliefs. How important are you beliefs to you?

Another risk is that you might fall in love with the other person. The question of marriage, how to raise children, family commitment to your religions separately or must you believe together as a family.

 

Then there is the following verse.

2 Cor 6:14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?

 

From many Protestant denominations perspective, a believer is a person who has made a decision for Jesus, has faith in Jesus alone as the only way to God with no works of our own, and has been indwelt by the Holy Spirit. The belief in Jesus and His completed work of His death, burial and resurrection makes a person righteous in standing. A person who has not made that choice for Jesus alone, with no additional works to achieve heaven, are considered an unbeliever, unrighteous in God's eyes, and without the Holy Spirit, lawless. So, what are your beliefs? How important is faith alone in Jesus alone, with no added works, to you?

 

Do you consider yourself 'born again'?  How were you born again?

Have you been idwelt by the Holy Spirit? And if so, how did this come about?

 

These are questions which would result in very different answers for a Protestant vs a Catholic.

 

 

From the Catholic perspective:

 

 

http://www.aboutcatholics.com/beliefs/can-a-catholic-marry-a-non-catholic/

 

The Catholic Church does not forbid Catholics from marrying people who are not Catholic. It has been the practice of the Church to marry non-Catholics and Catholics for quite some time. The Church refers to these types of marriages as mixed-marriages.

 

Sometimes a future spouse will choose to go through a process called RCIA to become Catholic prior to marriage, but it is not necessary to become Catholic before marrying a Catholic. However, express permission of the local bishop is necessary. The Catholic person must uphold the obligation to preserve his or her own faith and “ensure the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church,” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1635).

One of the reasons that the Church exists is to safeguard the souls of those in its care. If a Catholic insists on marriage to a non-Catholic, the Church allows it, but wants to protect the soul of the Catholic in the marriage by making sure the non-Catholic understands the moral teaching and obligations of the Catholic party and assure that the Catholic is not in a position hostile to his or her faith.

Marriage to a Non-Baptized Person

The Catholic Church calls the union of a Catholic to someone who has not been baptized a disparity of cult. In the above example the two people are baptized Christians of different confessions (or denominations), but a non-baptized person is not a part of the Christian family. When it involves someone who has not been baptized then the marriage requires an express dispensation from the bishop in order for the union to be considered valid.

Scripture tells us that the unbelieving spouse is made holy through the believing spouse (1 Cor. 7:14). Sacramentally in marriage the spouses are the conduits of grace to each other and in a mixed-marriage of disparity of cult the Catholic is a conduit of grace to the non-believer. If this leads to a free conversion of belief by the non-believer then the church rejoices.

Concerns About Marrying Non-Catholics

For a mixed-marriage between a Catholic and a non-Catholic to work well it is important that the couple embraces what is common between their respective faith traditions and “to learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ,” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1634). This can be very difficult and trying, but can be overcome by mutual respect.

A marriage to a non-baptized person can be especially difficult because of the greater chasm in religious belief. In either case the disparities between faiths can lead to tension and gradually religious indifference. Attempting to convert one’s spouse can be interpreted as hostile and could lead to discord in the marriage. Humility and open and honest communication about expectations and the practical side of a mixed-marriage is important to making it succeed.