Wife says leave past(my daughter)

[marriedguy]

I was divorced and got married again.

My problem is my wife wants me to leave my past( my daughter )

She says, if I am paralyzed, she will take care of me, not my daughter.

She says seeing my daughter is like cheating. She justifies it by saying, it's similar to her seeing her ex boyfriend.

I don't want another divorce. It will be my second one.

Should we divorce each other ? She and I don't want it.

Also I gave her my word, I will never leave her till death.

 

As a christian what should i do ? get another divorce ?.

[another_poster]

To be honest the only real option for staying together is professional counselling. That could help bring out if there is an underlying issue that your wife is expressing that way. I don't think anyone here is really qualified to give that kind of advice. She should accept that your daughter is your daughter and that means she is important to you. When I maried my step-son was important to me because he was important to my wife. I realised that it was a package deal (yeah not best phrasing I know). Perhaps your wife is feeling a little insecure. Do you talk to your ex about your daughter or is she old enough that you don't need to? If you do how does the way you interact look from the outside?  These are all things that could come up in counselling and there are many other options. Naturally I would advise against a divorce as they are not at all helpful but your daughter does need to be a part of your life. Remember for counselling to work you need to be open to it as well and behonest.

[Littlelambseativy]

Your daughter needs a father and for your wife to suggest that seeing your daughter is equal to cheating is curious. It cannot even come close to cheating. Why does she feel this? Is she concerned that you will leave her and go back to your wife?? Her feelings are unfounded and it is critical that you maintain contact with your daughter for your daughter and your sake.....the abandonment is unacceptable. See a counsellor with your wife over this issue . Your wife needs the help....she could be a part of this contact if she was not so insecure.

[*Zion*]

Sounds very selfish to me.  Present it according to God's Word.  Adultery is a married sleeping with someone outside of their marriage, or someone sleeping with a married person.  What your wife is suggesting is that either you're committing incest, which is disgusting; or that you are not allowed to be a father to your child, which is ridiculous.  Is she a christian?  

[Zemke]

Her asking you to do that is plain wrong. The heck with underlying reasons. She married you knowing you had a daughter. I'm divorced with two daughters and have only dated once in the past decade. The first time she told me what to do with them on a coming weekend so we could scoot out of state I told her the weekend was out. And when she pushed that I was hurting her and we needed to talk about some priorities I ended it. SEE YA. All she had to do was say "I'm sorry, that was a bit much", and we might be together today. Women today don't seem to have clue of how to play a man for the better. "I'm sorry" isn't difficult. Feminism has messed with their heads and with the heads of many of us men.

 

You're married and that isn't an option but she is the one that needs to get something strait about priority. 

 

Stand up now or forever wimp around.

[Guest Teditis]

Your daughter is your blood... she can't stop being your daughter.

Marriage counseling sounds like a good idea...

[Guest LadyC]

how old is your daughter?

 

your wife is being unreasonable. she has no business being jealous of a child, and there is no betrayal in you keeping your child in your life. the betrayal of your daughter by cutting her out of your life would be enormous and unjustifiable. who would you rather be accountable to, your God or your wife? 

 

under no circumstances should you give in to her wishes on this matter. she knew you had a child when she married you... if she can't deal with it, then let her divorce you.

[Guest shiloh357]

Yeah, seeing your daughter is not like cheating.  That's just ridiculous.   She needs some counseling.  Sounds controlling to me.

[Guest]

Praying~!

[Dawn33]

I can not imagine asking someone to cut off ties with their child. I am not sure what kind of person could do something like. She married you and she knew that you had a child from a previous relationship. I am curious.... why would your wife want you to do this? Is your daughter a bad person? or is your wife insecure and jealous? Is your wife a Christian?.... Everyone's advice on counseling sounds good, you should follow up on that.