Male/Female co-workers--what are the boundaries?

[gdemoss]

What are the boundaries? We are to be in this world as he is.

[another_poster]

Yesterday my daughter and I were shopping downtown and she asked to get an ice cream cone. As soon as we walked in, I saw the husband of a friend from my Bible study having ice cream with a very attractive woman. They were laughing and seemed to be enjoying each other's company. When I spoke to them, he seemed a bit off balanced but introduced me to his co-worker. This was about 1:30, the middle of the work day. I wondered why he had time to leave his high level job with the city to go get ice cream with a pretty lady, but that's just how my mind works. Their marriage may be one of trust, and they would have no problem with opposite sex friends.

To be honest like many things there is no black and white rule where the line should be drawn. A coworker once jokingly asked me for a leg massage. I said that might be crossing the line. When I told my wife about that conversation her response was "Well it all depends". I then explained the following question was not because I wanted to give the leg massage but I was just curious as to what it depended on. She smiled and said "On how far up the leg it goes". So my wife was comfortable with that. However it was beyond my personal boundaries. So essentially whichever person has the stricter boundaries is the one that should be followed. Of course if in doubt err on the side of caution and stop.

 

 

My question is not whether to tell the wife--she is just a casual friend, and I don't want to start trouble so I won't bring it up unless she does--but what are the boundaries for married Christians with opposite sex co-workers? Of course, we want good relationships with the people we work with, and there nothing wrong with having coffee or lunch in the break room, but do you leave your job site and take an extended break with a person who is not your spouse?

 

 

I don't think you should say anything even if she brings it up as you have no proof of anything. A friend told me a story about his brother in law. His workmates thought it would be funny to put a empty condom packet in his pocket. However what they didn't know is that he had once cheated on his wife and she was aware of that and so when she found the condom packet she kicked him out. So he had not done anything wrong that time but because of previous actions there were bad consequences. On a different forum a person once asked if she should tell her friend that her husband was cheating on her. When asked her evidence was that she saw him purchase two cups of coffee during the day during office hours. We need to be careful before risking destroying the life of a couple of people.

 

[another_poster]

Why play with fire?

It may be fire for you but not others. Some people have very low sex drives.

[Whisperpoetry]

So... I was wondering. J grew up without rules and have trouble to get me to do things... like I try to put my phone down and sleep and I can't.  I just want to know how boundaries work. Someone told me it might be good for me. 

[4LdKHVCzRDj2]

On 8/1/2015 at 6:12 PM, missmuffet said:

First of all you do not know the whole story.If you saw them in a passionate embrace that would be a whole different story.

I agree.

We should not think what we saw and go and tell everyone what we thought we saw... This is a very serious situation, if you believe a sinful activity was taking place then wait and talk directly to the person alone, rebuke him/her if necessary. Make sure things are well explained.

 

But don't tell anyone, it is just unnecessary and it will cause conflict.

Edited June 4, 2017 by 4LdKHVCzRDj2