Social awkwardness

[ricky]

I have a really problem with social awkwardness. It has got better over the years, but I still have problems talking to people, some people even think I come across as rude and cold. The truth is I want to be out going, I feel like the real me is trapped inside, I feel my shyness is keeping me from being the man God wants me to be. I would like some advice to combat this problem thanks.

[missmuffet]

Those who have Asperger's which is a autistic spectrum disorder have this problem as well.They can not relate socially.Do you think it is really "shyness"?

[other one]

Ricky when I first went to work at Xerox I was somewhat the same way......   My manager asked me to join Toastmasters for a while and it helped me a lot.

 

 

[JoshuaB]

I can talk to people, however at times I run out of subjects which leaves an awkward silence. 

I have very old fashioned values and do not partake in the activities that persons of my age group do, this make me seem very unsociable. 

It's great that it is getting better; I'm pleased for you and I hope it gets even better in the future. 

[other one]

I can talk to people, however at times I run out of subjects which leaves an awkward silence. 

I have very old fashioned values and do not partake in the activities that persons of my age group do, this make me seem very unsociable. 

It's great that it is getting better; I'm pleased for you and I hope it gets even better in the future. 

one should not feel awkward during silences, especially with family or friends....   sometimes there is just nothing to say, and that should not make you uncomfortable.   If you happen to be on the phone, it might signal time to hang up though, but if neither of you have anything else to say then just  bask in silent friendship

[missmuffet]

Ricky when I first went to work at Xerox I was somewhat the same way......   My manager asked me to join Toastmasters for a while and it helped me a lot.

 

 

Toastmasters is good for some but a nightmare for others.

[missmuffet]

I think a person needs to distinguish between a simple shyness and a genuine social anxiety disorder which is more serious.

[ricky]

I was thinking something called avoidant peronality disorder personally, but there is no confirmation of that. 

[Guest shiloh357]

Shyness, in my opinion is not a disorder.  And I know people who are shy until they get around people with whom they have interests in common.  Not everyone is the life of the party, not everyone is assertive by nature and that's okay because God has made us very unique, very special.  

Having said that, I do think chronic shyness might be problematic, I mean if you just cannot talk to people and being around people makes you extremely nervous, you might need to get some counseling if that is the case.

I have seen people who were shy and introverted come out of their shells when they were around the right people.   In those cases, they are like kids on too much sugar.

[missmuffet]

Shyness, in my opinion is not a disorder.  And I know people who are shy until they get around people with whom they have interests in common.  Not everyone is the life of the party, not everyone is assertive by nature and that's okay because God has made us very unique, very special.  

Having said that, I do think chronic shyness might be problematic, I mean if you just cannot talk to people and being around people makes you extremely nervous, you might need to get some counseling if that is the case.

I have seen people who were shy and introverted come out of their shells when they were around the right people.   In those cases, they are like kids on too much sugar.

No shyness is not a disorder.There are those who are introverts as well.I just happen to not be one . But I have a couple of kids that are.There is a disorder which is a social anxiety disorder.This can be serious because it disrupts a person's everyday life.