How do you react when married people flirt with you?

[missmuffet]

How do you feel when someone who is married...flirts with/hits on you? (online or offline)

If a married person hits on you, how do you react? I used to think such things were harmless, but I've seen a few friends of mine lose their marriages over 'harmless' flirtations that turned into full blown affairs before long. People think that affairs start overnight, but they start with flirtations, etc. I've never been married, but thought I'd pose the question here. 

 

I've never been  of the opinion that flirting is harmless. To a great extent I think many people ignore their moral conscience in favor of inflating their own egos. The best advice I can give is ,you don't put yourself into those situations in the first place as much as possible and you can withdraw yourself from a situation if it arises and set boundaries from the beginning with members of the opposite sex. Some people take the attention as flattery and allow lines to be crossed.  There are degrees of familiarity & interacting that are inappropriate and it is a matter of self-respect and being respected by others.   Sometimes someone will try to flirt or cross the line if they think someone is easy or slutty. Other times someone just tries to flirt with anyone and everyone just to see if they can get away with it -  never do I take it as a compliment.

The other thing is that the Bible says John 10:10  "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."  Satan tries to destroy people in 100's of different ways.   He tries to cause people to sin 24/7, he tries to get Christian's  to lower their moral standard and tempts people with whatever is their particular weakness or lust. He will send some kind of a temptation your way dressed in a package that is most pleasing to you, are you going to recognize it for what it is? Are you prepared to deal with it in a Godly way and resist it before it takes you down a wrong path?  His plan to cause a person to be destroyed or to destroy their marriage for example might be a 10yr plan but that is nothing to a supernatural being that has been around since GOD created the angels. These things don't happen all at once but a bit at a time.  The Devil has a whole army at his disposal and unwitting willing humans who are partnered with him. If you ignore the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit and your conscience you might stop hearing His wisdom & instructions for your life and one day find your conscience has been seared.  

I agree. Thank you for this. Since coming back to my faith, I feel so elated and overjoyed, but there are people and situations that I feel Jesus calling me away from. I don't want to appear snobby to people, and I'm not better than anyone, but there are situations, forums, places, people etc that are just not healthy for me with my faith walk. Not healthy for me, in general either.

There are certain people that it is just healthy to stay away from as a born again Christian.You can talk with them without seeming stuck up but it is not wise to take advice or hang out with someone who is not displaying true Christian behavior.

[archaeologist55]

How do you feel when someone who is married...flirts with/hits on you? (online or offline)

If a married person hits on you, how do you react? I used to think such things were harmless, but I've seen a few friends of mine lose their marriages over 'harmless' flirtations that turned into full blown affairs before long. People think that affairs start overnight, but they start with flirtations, etc. I've never been married, but thought I'd pose the question here. 

 

to answer the question-- i do not flirt nor encourage it to take place. if you are married you are dead to all other people, only your spouse matters and you should not be looking at other opposite sex people in a lustful, romantic or sexually charged manner.

[missmuffet]

How do you feel when someone who is married...flirts with/hits on you? (online or offline)

If a married person hits on you, how do you react? I used to think such things were harmless, but I've seen a few friends of mine lose their marriages over 'harmless' flirtations that turned into full blown affairs before long. People think that affairs start overnight, but they start with flirtations, etc. I've never been married, but thought I'd pose the question here. 

 

to answer the question-- i do not flirt nor encourage it to take place. if you are married you are dead to all other people, only your spouse matters and you should not be looking at other opposite sex people in a lustful, romantic or sexually charged manner.

Honorable words.

[*Deidre*]

How do you feel when someone who is married...flirts with/hits on you? (online or offline)

If a married person hits on you, how do you react? I used to think such things were harmless, but I've seen a few friends of mine lose their marriages over 'harmless' flirtations that turned into full blown affairs before long. People think that affairs start overnight, but they start with flirtations, etc. I've never been married, but thought I'd pose the question here. 

 

to answer the question-- i do not flirt nor encourage it to take place. if you are married you are dead to all other people, only your spouse matters and you should not be looking at other opposite sex people in a lustful, romantic or sexually charged manner.

Gosh, what a refreshingly different view from the culture in which we live. Thank you!

[JohnD]

How do you feel when someone who is married...flirts with/hits on you? (online or offline)

If a married person hits on you, how do you react? I used to think such things were harmless, but I've seen a few friends of mine lose their marriages over 'harmless' flirtations that turned into full blown affairs before long. People think that affairs start overnight, but they start with flirtations, etc. I've never been married, but thought I'd pose the question here. 

 

I flirt all the time. With my beloved wife (exclusively). I am a work in progress so I cannot say I have been that way since the beginning. Wish I had been. It never became an affair. But it felt wrong and it is wrong. And nothing good ever came of flirting.

Sometimes my kindness is mistaken for flirtation (especially by lonely females). And I have learned to be quick to set them straight. When I beat around the bush or try to be compassionate, things get out of hand quickly. Unless they persist or go off into some fantasy thing, I generally do not bite anyone's head off. But I will if need be.

These things are assaults on our marriage.

And marriage is not just a thing people do, it is what we become and who we are.

Little flirtations are large scale assaults on marriage in disguise. Even if one or both think of it as "harmless" at the time.

Edited November 4, 2015 by JohnD

[Littlelambseativy]

As Patriot has said there is a difference in flirting with one you know very well and one whose advances are serious. I flirt with someone who I have known almost my whole life ..since elementary school and know nothing would EVER come of it or his silly comments but certainly put up an icy cold shoulder to others who send red flags to my comfort zone. You need to be secure in yourself before you flirt with someone and know them well enough to anticipate their reactions.

[enoob57]

As Patriot has said there is a difference in flirting with one you know very well and one whose advances are serious. I flirt with someone who I have known almost my whole life ..since elementary school and know nothing would EVER come of it or his silly comments but certainly put up an icy cold shoulder to others who send red flags to my comfort zone. You need to be secure in yourself before you flirt with someone and know them well enough to anticipate their reactions.

only here you might reconsider this acceptance in your reasoning
1 Thess 5:22
22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.
KJV
 

[Littlelambseativy]

There is no evil or even the appearance of it..

[enoob57]

There is no evil in a married person flirting?

[missmuffet]

As Patriot has said there is a difference in flirting with one you know very well and one whose advances are serious. I flirt with someone who I have known almost my whole life ..since elementary school and know nothing would EVER come of it or his silly comments but certainly put up an icy cold shoulder to others who send red flags to my comfort zone. You need to be secure in yourself before you flirt with someone and know them well enough to anticipate their reactions.

Flirting is flirting.You can not make light of it with anyone if you are married..