What do you think about Boundaries?

[Dok]

The words and deeds of others, divided by my thoughts about them, result in my response.

WDo / mT ---> mR

mR may be to do nothing, or to instantly deliver it, or place mR on hold due to new, other, or additional information interceding. In any event, that process must be monitored by the Holy Spirit. When that is accepted as Truth by each Christian, then the boundaries set are, and will be, Scriptural. 

Absent that Truth, the boundaries will be our own mind-will-emotions rolling around in the empire of brain, that place where the non-Christian wanders about constantly, 1 Corinthians 2:14. But we have the "mind," the Spiritual Insight, of Christ, 1 Corinthians 2:15-16. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Ezra]

3 hours ago, shiloh357 said:

That would go against the very concept of Holiness.    The Bible calls us to make difference between the sacred and the secular.

One should not confuse God's requirements with this secular idea of self-protection.  Apples and oranges.

Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards him or her and how he/she will respond when someone passes those limits.^[1] They are built out of a mix of conclusions, beliefs, opinions, attitudes, past experiences and social learning.^[2][3] This concept or life skill has been widely referenced in self-help books and used in the counseling profession since the mid-1980s.^[4] [Wikipedia]

[brakelite]

We humans are very much like cows. If you put 100 cows into a paddock but leave gates open, an hour or so later there will be 20 cows in each of five paddocks, regardless of the sufficiency of feed in the first paddock. We all, like cows, constantly crave what we don’t need, touch which we ought to leave alone, go where we ought to walk away from, and welcome that which we should shun. We, like cows, need boundaries beyond which we should not venture. Sadly, like cows, we don’t always need open gates to encourage our waywardness. We push at the boundaries much like cows push at fences. We push until they give way, and we then establish new boundaries. In society, the power for the boundary is the judicial system, parental control, or school or business discipline. On the farm, it is electricity. In society, those powers enforcing the boundaries are under constant attack, and are currently being compromised to the point of extinction. Hence we now have numerous Presidential despotic decrees that if implemented abrogate the constitution. In this country, murder is met with ‘life imprisonment’ with a non-parole period of 12 to 14 years attached. Sometimes less. Go figure.

When cows break down a fence, the first thing to be checked is the power. If it isn’t working, it is reconnected to the fence, the fence repaired, and the cows driven back to their former quarters. What kind of a farmer would one be if he moved the fence and left the power disconnected? Yet that is what society is doing with its progeny, and every subsequent generation is met with weaker and weaker defenses against all out anarchy. Then we ring the radio stations and complain that our ‘neighbors’ children are lawless immoral reprobates and society gone to the dogs. Then we hang up, go back to our TVs and cocktail cabinets and blame the government. And children are particularly prone to the ‘cow’ problem. Ever seen a 3 yo not go through an open gate, or climb a fence if possible?

 

Ethical, moral, and civil boundaries are essential to the well being of society, they must remain constant, and they must be enforced. Accomplished musicians adhere to the laws of harmony, melody, and rhythm. The closer the musician keeps to the laws, the better is the music. The alternative, to rebel against the laws that govern music, results in punk rock.

The same applies to builders, who must adhere to the laws of engineering and physics etc that govern their trade. Any compromise or disobedience to those laws result in what we recently witnessed in Haiti.

Personal boundaries that we choose to implement for ourselves should always harmonize with "Thou shalt love God with all your heart, and you neighbor as yourself". If we constrain ourselves to some isolationist position that prohibits others from any form of relationship how are we to take the gospel into all parts of the world? The only boundary apart from God's Ten Commandments that I can remember from scripture that is clearly mandated is that which tells us to not be a part of the world. I suppose whatever boundary we perceive as delineating the difference between 'in' and 'of' the world, can be somewhat subjective. What fruits result of our relationship with the world and how that relationship affects our relationship with our God ought to be sufficient to reveal where we stand, and whether we need to shift the boundary back a bit.

[Guest shiloh357]

2 hours ago, Ezra said:

One should not confuse God's requirements with this secular idea of self-protection.  Apples and oranges.

Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards him or her and how he/she will respond when someone passes those limits.^[1] They are built out of a mix of conclusions, beliefs, opinions, attitudes, past experiences and social learning.^[2][3] This concept or life skill has been widely referenced in self-help books and used in the counseling profession since the mid-1980s.^[4] [Wikipedia]

But even if we accept that definition, does having personal boundaries violate a doctrine of Scripture?   Does that lead someone astray and into sin?  And why cannot we not follow personal boundaries derived from biblical principles AND also have personal boundaries that define our interactions with others?

[GoldenEagle]

 

On September 1, 2016 at 1:34 PM, GoldenEagle said:

Proverbs 22:24 - Our friendships should be with those who build us up. Now, that said we are also called to love our enemies though right? Didn't Jesus spend a lot of time with sinners?

 

On September 2, 2016 at 10:32 PM, kwikphilly said:

Absolutely,I agree BUT although we are called to LOVE & PRAY for our enemies we certainly are not to be unequally yoked or partake(7Therefore do not be partakers with them. 8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light,    Ephesians 5:7-8)   Yes,Jesus spent time ministering to the sinners just as we should ,not fellowship until they come into the Light.....if & when      Kwik

Re: Proverbs 22:24

Depends what you mean by having fellowship I guess? Jesus was speaking and engaging with the Samaritan woman at the well for example in John 4. He touched a person with leprosy in Luke 5. And what of Jesus entering and fellowship with Zacchaeus in Luke 19? In Mark 2 Jesus spent time with publicans and sinners. They were likely Matthew's friends and acquaintances. 

Also, what is the context of Ephesians 5? Is it instructions on interactions between Christians and Christians? Not really having to do with how we as Believers interact with those who don't believe? Ephesians 5:1 it seems to me Paul is talking to God's children - Christians interacting with Christians. Only those who believe in Jesus are God's children right?

God bless,
GE

[GoldenEagle]

 

On September 1, 2016 at 1:34 PM, GoldenEagle said:

Philippians 4:8 - Be a part of true, honest, just, pure, and good things. Avoid negativity then?

2 Corinthians 6:14 - Different people interpret this in different ways. I interpret it to mean we are to not be married to unbelievers. So a Christian should ideally not date a non-Christian either?

 

23 hours ago, kwikphilly said:

Philippians 4:8 

Always,avoid negativity as you would the plague.....wherever negativity is spoken try to change it to things ABOVE,Godly,Eternal.....POSITIVE,encouraging,edifying & giving God Glory      Kwik

2 Corinthians 6:14 

And I take it to be yoked period ,in friendship ,dating or any "relationship".....(Eph 5:7-8)     I don't believe A Christian should be dating an unbeliever(ideally-lol)       Kwik

Re: Philippians 4:8, 

I agree we should try to be positive, encouraging, edifying. Yet don't negative people need Jesus too? Don't Believers who are down or see the cup as half empty need encouragement too? 

Re: 2 Corinthians 6:14, 

So we shouldn't even befriend those who are not Christians? I don't think the context of Eph 5:7-8 speaks to this idea at all as the passage is talking about relationships between Believers. Is there another passage that corroborates this idea that we should not even be friends or have any relationship with non-believers?

God bless,
GE

[GoldenEagle]

 

On September 1, 2016 at 1:34 PM, GoldenEagle said:

Joshua 1:8 - The law is a good teacher. Yet the law of Christ which sums up the OT law is to love God and love people per Mark 12:38-34. Following Christ's new command in John 13:34-35?

Proverbs 21:19 - So is this an excuse for a man to leave his wife and go into the wilderness? Or a warning to be careful who you marry?

Colossians 4:6 - Our speech should be gracious. Meaning we're to be kind when we speak the truth?  

Matthew 5:28 - It's not just about what you do. It's about what you think in your mind too?

 

23 hours ago, kwikphilly said:

(Joshua 1:8)

My sentiments as well,Amen!!!

(Proverbs 21:19 

  Definitely a warning   ........& it is a boundary we should not cross for our own good ,sometimes BEAUTY can be distracting (carnal minded)      

(Colossians 4:6)

By all means,the TRUTH can sometimes be harsh enough,there is no reason why we cannot speak in love.......as long as we stay out of the way of Holy Spirit & rely on Him .......too often folks "react" rather than respond .....prayerfully,mindfully,thoughtfully....IN CHRIST!

(Matthew 5:28)

Take captive EVERY thought......when we are FOCUSED on the LORD & praying without ceasing there is no room for the enemy,we are vessels & so we need to be FILLED to the Brim with Gods Word!!!!   (Philippians 4:8)           

                                                                                                                                                     With love-in Christ,Kwik

 

Re: Joshua 1:8, 

I'm glad we agree on this key doctrine. God is love. In Him there is no darkness.  

Re: Proverbs 21:19, 

It is true beauty can at times be only skin deep. A person is a lot more than just their physical body. There is the spiritual, emotional, and intellectual aspects of a person as well. 

Re: Colossians 4:6, 

I totally agree that too often people react rather than respond. I think too many times people don't actually take time to listen to others or really read (in the forums) what others are saying. How do we practice responding instead of reacting? 

Re: Matthew 5:28

I agree we need to be filled with God's Word and His Holy Spirit.

 

Good discussion sister!  

God bless,

GE

[natasha]

On 9/2/2016 at 5:59 PM, GoldenEagle said:

Hi Natasha! No worries. Seems like this has been a hot issue in the last few days.

I totally agree with you about searching through the draws of other people is crossing the boundary of personal space. This is a physical boundary I described in this post.

"God told me to tell you" and "God is not pleased with you so you need to repent" are examples of others trying to be the Holy Spirit in our lives. This is a spiritual boundary. Every Believer has access to God through the Holy Spirit.

How do you think people control others? Have you ever personally tried to control or have others tried to control you by overstepping your boundaries? How did you react?

How do people disrespect your choices or have they tried to override them?

God bless,
GE

 

 

Have I or do I try to control others?  frankly I think everyone does that to different extents

short answer:  I would not have bought the book if I thought I did LOL!

I think we probably all try to control the space around ourselves..boundaries, the book, is about controlling everyone elses' space

 

people control through intimidation, manipulation and downright in your face threats, anger, sometimes physical abuse, emotional and so on

we probably all have experienced some of that to one degree or another

[natasha]

22 hours ago, Yowm said:

I had a pastor many years ago that had done lot's of marriage counselling and he'd find that many married ones wanted to be single and many singles wanted to get married...go figure.

haha

 

I heard a bad joke about that

marriage is like flies on a screen door...the ones on the outside want to get in and the ones on the inside want to get out!  

[natasha]

15 hours ago, RobertS said:

Precisely: God establishes boundaries in Scripture, and in following the Lord we recognize that there are indeed boundaries and that the establishment of them is necessary for humanity. The word "transgression" IMO is the violation of boundaries, as the idea is that a boundary or line has been crossed and when committed, the one crossing the boundary is now in an area spiritually, physically or otherwise that they should not be.

I really like what you said here and agree with regards to the word transgression

just remembered what God said to the Israelites about not moving boundary stones...physical application with a spiritual overtone