What do you think about Boundaries?

[GoldenEagle]

1 hour ago, natasha said:

 

I'm not on alot, so sorry about the time lag for response.

Searching through the drawers of other people, looking through belongings for something to gain information, saying things that are controlling like "God told me to tell you" or 'God is not pleased with you.  You need to repent"  Disrespecting the choices made and overiding them...anything that exerts control.  You should not be controlling other people

Well I would say the book is for everyone in my opinion, but it's not for people who like to control unless they desire to stop what they are doing

Boundaries are normal...even God gives us free choice...when someone crosses the line, they can even take the place of God in a person's life by controlling and disapproving things all supposedly because it would not please God when in truth, it does not suit the purposes of the person doing the controlling

Hi Natasha! No worries. Seems like this has been a hot issue in the last few days.

I totally agree with you about searching through the draws of other people is crossing the boundary of personal space. This is a physical boundary I described in this post.

"God told me to tell you" and "God is not pleased with you so you need to repent" are examples of others trying to be the Holy Spirit in our lives. This is a spiritual boundary. Every Believer has access to God through the Holy Spirit.

How do you think people control others? Have you ever personally tried to control or have others tried to control you by overstepping your boundaries? How did you react?

How do people disrespect your choices or have they tried to override them?

God bless,
GE

[Running Gator]

There is only one being that can tell a "true Christian" that is God.  The rest of us are just guessing.  

[Ezra]

37 minutes ago, Yowm said:

So psychology brought the world out of pagan superstitions? Even Christendom was in darkness until psychology came as a 'savior'?

Freud had no use for God.

Quote

 

Freud regarded the monotheistic God as an illusion based upon the infantile emotional need for a powerful, supernatural pater familias. He maintained that religion – once necessary to restrain man's violent nature in the early stages of civilization – in modern times, can be set aside in favor of reason and science.[/qoute]

Jung -- a Nazi at heart --had no use for Jews.

 

 

Jung has been accused of Anti-Judaism. Falk stated of Jung "In 1934 he published an article that included the following astounding statement, 'The Aryan unconscious has a greater potential than the Jewish unconscious'". Falk also stated that Jung edited an Anti-Jewish German Nationalist publication called 

Zentralblatt fur Psychotherapie, a book Falk states suggested Hitler's My Struggle should be mandatory reading for psychotherapists. Jung was president of the International General Society for Psychotherapy, which was Nazi dominated, and worked for the Goring Institute of Psychotherapy, which was created by Nazis. Jung also wrote anti-Jewish articles where he made racist statements against Jews such as "The Jew, who is something of a nomad, has never yet created a cultural form of his own and as far as we can see never will".^[75] Jung's interest in European mythology and folk psychology has led to accusations of Nazi sympathies, since they shared the same interest.

[GoldenEagle]

1 hour ago, hmbld said:

Is it not a normal belief that a spouse is responsible for the other's happiness?  It has been said even here at worthy many times, if the husband is loving his wife properly, no woman in the world would not submit to him.  I have not seen this belief challenged, yet I question it, as rebellion is active in the world.  I do not intend to sound judgmental towards the husband, I question the idea that the husband is always responsible for any failure,

No husband is responsible for his wife's happiness in my opinion. I'm not responsible for my wife's happiness. I can try to please her and love her but I'm still a failed human being prone to sin. I'm responsible for my actions, feelings, words, and thoughts. I cannot be responsible for the actions feelings, words, and thoughts of others.

I can be a loving husband, considerate towards my wife, kind with my words, and keep my thoughts pure. On the other hand I cannot make my wife respect me, make her feel different, make her say what I want her to say, or make her think the way I want her to think. Do you see the difference?

God bless,

GE

[missmuffet]

4 minutes ago, Out of the Shadows said:

There is only one being that can tell a "true Christian" that is God.  The rest of us are just guessing.  

The rest of us are looking at the Fruit of the Holy Spirit. But who are we as human being to say who is saved and who is not saved? That would only be judgmental. Only God can see the heart.

[GoldenEagle]

2 hours ago, missmuffet said:

The counseling I have received from a Pastor was horrible. So it all depends on the Pastor. A couple of pastors have referred to counselors. They were just too busy to do any counseling.

So sorry you experienced this Miss. Btw, are you Bopeep? 

I can relate. We went to a pastor for counseling and he didn't want to listen to us. Mainly because he didn't want to hear that one of our relatives who was his mentor was not acting appropriately. We thought he was a safe person and one who would give us Godly advice. Instead, he gave us some suggestions of books to read and some Bible verses to memorize or something.

God bless,
GE

[GoldenEagle]

1 hour ago, shiloh357 said:

There is a difference between loving someone properly and being responsible for someone's happiness.   I have known people who have had some very unrealistic ideas about marriage and what it is supposed to be like and what the other person is supposed to do.   And when that bubble is burst, it causes a lot of heartache. 

Generally speaking, more often than not, if a husband is doing what he is supposed to do, per biblical standards, then women would submit to his leadership and they would submit to his honoring of them.   But there are marriages where one or both have some "issues" that get in the way of that. 

Right Shiloh I agree there's a difference between loving someone properly (or trying to as per the Bible) and being responsible for someone's happiness (an idol?). What kind of "issues" are you referring to? Can you give other examples?

1 hour ago, shiloh357 said:

It is just my opinion but I think part of the church paid staff ought to be a licensed Christian counselor who has an advanced degree in that field.  Make that a ministry office of the local church. He or she should keep office hours at the church and work by appointment.  It would take immense pressure off of pastors and keep them out of legal trouble. 

I agree with this idea.   However, if it is a nouthetic counselor (only using the Bible) it's not much better than a pastor without training in many cases in my opinion. Nouthetic Counseling is a 4 step process:

• 1. The first step in the counseling process involves the collection of data. A counselor may gather data basically in two ways: overtly and covertly.
• 2. The second stage in counseling involves conviction. This stage is meant to bring counselees to an acknowledgment of their failure to meet the standards (teachings) of God’s Word.
• 3. The third step, in the four step process, is correction. The definition of correction is used in the Bible in the sense of "standing something up" or "making something to stand again" (Adams, 1986, p. 139). Once a person has been convicted for their sins, the Bible is able to help bind up their wounds and restore a proper relationship between the counselee and God. The Scripture is positive and can help fix what is wrong in the counselee’s life.
• 4. After confession of sin, the counselee must forsake the sin. The Christian must eliminate anything or any influence that may cause him to stumble. He, as part of the putting off process, must set up a structure or routine to help avoid having the sin happen again. The Christian also has to have a willingness to say no to sinful attitudes and desires. Source

God bless,
GE

[GoldenEagle]

The third law that the authors go through is as follows…

 

Law #3 The Law of Power and Powerlessness

God gives you the power to do many things. We cannot change anybody else, but we can change ourselves with God’s help.

 

Which, if any, of the following questions have you asked yourself?

 

A. Am I powerless over my behavior?

B. If I am, how can I become responsible?

C. What has God given me the power to do with the help of the Holy Spirit?

 

Understanding the Law of Power will help you understand these questions.

 

Read through what Paul says in Romans 7: 15-23 (and KJV version here).

 

What phrases can you especially identify with? What specific struggles do the phrases you listed bring to mind?

 

Here are 5 areas God empowers us.

 

1. We have the power to confess, that is to agree with the truth about our problems.
2. We have the power to submit our inability to change these ways to God and ask him for help.
3. We have the power to repent, that is to become willing to turn from evil and accept the change that God brings to us.
4. We have the power to seek reconciliation with those whom we have injured.
5. We have the power to grow by taking care of the problems that we create.

 

A) What does power and powerlessness mean to you?

 

B) What makes it hard for you to admit that, with God's help, you are powerful enough to handle your own problems?

 

God bless,
GE

 

[missmuffet]

36 minutes ago, GoldenEagle said:

So sorry you experienced this Miss. Btw, are you Bopeep? 

I can relate. We went to a pastor for counseling and he didn't want to listen to us. Mainly because he didn't want to hear that one of our relatives who was his mentor was not acting appropriately. We thought he was a safe person and one who would give us Godly advice. Instead, he gave us some suggestions of books to read and some Bible verses to memorize or something.

God bless,
GE

Yes, there was a transformation a while back.

[hmbld]

1 hour ago, GoldenEagle said:

No husband is responsible for his wife's happiness in my opinion. I'm not responsible for my wife's happiness. I can try to please her and love her but I'm still a failed human being prone to sin. I'm responsible for my actions, feelings, words, and thoughts. I cannot be responsible for the actions feelings, words, and thoughts of others.

I can be a loving husband, considerate towards my wife, kind with my words, and keep my thoughts pure. On the other hand I cannot make my wife respect me, make her feel different, make her say what I want her to say, or make her think the way I want her to think. Do you see the difference?

God bless,

GE

Thank you for your response.  Yes, I see the difference.  The problem I don't understand is how to deal with the accusations that come when a boundary is attempted.