A serious struggle

[StJoek]

Thank you all for your prayers and comments.

[Heavenunlimited]

I have some psychological experience, and my friend is suffering just as bad, although, not with voices. He as well as I have had trauma as a child, him more than me. I recieved help and had a normal life he didnt. So i say. Your wife MUST have professional help,  this wont go away it will go worse if she doesnt. And the longer the time goes, the more depression and the longer years to come out of it and to some extent only.  She might suffer from scitzophrenia. You hear voices then.  Yes sometimes you are oppressed by demons, when you hear voices.  But for that needs investigation.  Try find good deliverance ministry. (Not bob larson) see what they can do. Doesnt hurt to try.  But i can tell you, that going through all that abuse creates openings for oppression. Close the gates. That takes therapy. Yes, Jesus too. Preferably both.  You cant continue like this. She must have professional belp. Be mindful people in this state of mind can, and many have, or tried, commit suicide or worse harm. Be vigilant. BE VIGILANT!  She has to go through the root of the abuse. If she cant cry, cry. Talk. Talking helps, over and over. Write. Writing is therapy. She is shutting down, she cant handle the pain and trauma so her mind creates things. Its a defense mechanism. The only one she has. Without it, she would go mad. Literally. Thats why its important to be very very careful how you handle this .thats why a pro will know how to grab it. Its lik a puzzle. Each piece slowly if it gets put the wrong way more trauma.

 

Edited February 25, 2017 by Heavenunlimited

[missmuffet]

On 2/12/2017 at 6:41 AM, StJoek said:

I don't usually do posts in forums like this.  I guess it just gives me a lot of anxiety to post something and not get an immediate response.  But I'm up against some pretty tough circumstances and I need to reach out to others as I've gotten isolated over the years.  So this mainly deals with my wife and the many troubles she's had in her and our past and the difficulties and possible dangers that still linger.  I'm not really looking for an answer to our problems.  I really just want a group of Christians to surround us and pray with us and cry with us as we wait on God.  Both my wife and I have given our lives fully to Christ, and though we still struggle with sin, we live a repentant life, and seek God in all that we do.  I'll try to keep things brief because I don't see the sense into going into details of years and years of trauma and pain.  It's probably enough to know that whatever I may say is going to barely be the tip of the iceberg anyway, unless i write a book. 

So I'll start at the point where I first started learning what was happening, about 18 years ago.  That was when my wife came to me and asked that we pack up everything and leave town.  From the look she had I knew something was going on and I knew it was serous so I decided to trust her and leave.  At this point in our lives we were both not very close to Christ, I had turned my back completely, but we were both living sinfully.  Anyway after a few weeks of being in a new state and city she finally began to tell me that a person who I thought was a friend had been raping her and had tried to murder her shortly before we left the town I grew up in.  That was just the beginning of a long line of abuses and mistreatment my wife had endured at the hands of countless people, and  few repeatedly throughout her life.  The years went by as I learned of these things and we moved around and familiar people always seemed to be close at hand no matter where we went.  At some point my wife began to hear voices and started become extremely paranoid because of the familiar people and more and more memories were coming back to her.  I wasn't a very good husband at this point, not at all, I admit.  This was about 17 yrs ago.  But I did want to help her and not see her suffer so much.  I was looking for answers anywhere I could and fortunately the bible was one of those places.  Finally when things seemed to be at their worse my wife and I broke down and gave our lives fully over to The Lord.  We repented of all the wrong things we were doing at the time and completely turned away from that life.

However things were never really addressed.   We never got any answers and my wife was still having voices, memories, and paranoia.  We did try medical treatment several times but nothing ever helped.  We moved again and finally found a home church we were able to stay in for a few years.  But everybody has always been standoffish to us.  We came kind of close to making friends in our old home church but it all just fell apart when we had to leave because of the things that were coming against my wife.  Besides shortly later I had to move because of my job and things just deteriorated from there.  We've moved a couple times now and haven't been able to find a home church.  Every where we go there's bad memories and voices getting in my wife's head.  We don't have any friends.  I talk to my mother but she doesn't really know anything that's going on.  My wife doesn't have any family to talk to.  Whenever we try to reach out people seem too preoccupied or judgmental to be there for us.  My wife can barely hear me most of the time because of all the voices.  I know you'll say go to a doctor, you need professional help and all that.  But I'm sure it's impossible for you to understand how difficult it is.  Besides I don't know that modern psychology would be of any help.  And like I said I'm not looking for a solution, I just want a friend or two to talk to, and cry with, and maybe see God work in our lives.  It's so painful that it's so difficult just to meet one caring Christian.  I know it's this spiritual war we are in.  That people around us are being manipulated by forces they don't understand.  But still I'm discouraged.  It feels like there's only love for family and friends....and if your a stranger your on your own.  That's just how it feels I'm sure.  I know there are loving Christians out there, somewhere.

You said that you are really not looking for an answer so I will pray for your situation

[MorningGlory]

I will pray for you and your wife, StLoek.  You know who is tormenting her and that's the one we have to pray against.  May He bless and keep you both.  And welcome to Worthy! 

[Guest]

Praying for you and yours. May God lead the right people into your lives to heal this situation.

[StJoek]

Thank you JesusGivesLifeMeaning, Unfortunately God hasn't sent anybody into our lives yet, despite me searching for help these last few months.  It's getting really discouraging that I can't even find anybody to talk to.

To update you all on our situation things are pretty much unchanged.  Voices, frustration, anger, distraction, depression all persist.  Thank you for all that are praying for us, please continue.  God Bless.

[Wayne222]

Still praying for you and your wife. Try fasting and prayer together.  Jesus fasted often. It draws us closer to the lord. May joy and hope be with you both through Jesus our lord.

[love mercy]

Dear StJoek - I am praying for your right now. May God help you and may you open your hands to receive. I have faith to believe that you will experience the love of Jesus in a profound way.

Jesus understands the suffering - he came not for the righteous but the sinners. I know you are a believer, but I just want to assure you that Jesus loves you and he the Christ is with you.

I won't give you advice, but I will share a little of my life to illustrate a point. My mom has had a serious mental health issue my whole life, but God gave me a father who shielded me from a lot until he died - now I rely completely on God because it is too hard to explain things and its too hard to risk being vulnerable. It is like I am a porcupine and I end up hurting people if they get too close and so I built these imaginary walls that I think protect me, but makes me feel lonely...I saw that when I made the first step in talking with my pastor...the flood gates opened and I was overwhelmed with support. I'm not talking about having visitors or people attempting to help me, but I made genuine friends who didn't know my situation because when I spoke to the pastor...God helped me to open my heart a little more and admit that I needed help. I actually never got to talk to the pastor about my mom, the conversation was God led and I received what I needed. I came with the intention of confessing and receiving prayer and I ended up experiencing the very dramatic love of Jesus. God has a beautiful plan for you and your wife.I think healing begins in our hearts. I know that the affliction that you both are experiencing is impossible to cope with on your own and so I praise God for he will lead you in a path where you will see that JESUS IS SUFFICIENT - he will provide all the love and healthy friendships that will enhance your life. I want to respect your wishes and not give you advice, so please know that I am praying for you.

Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. James 5: 14

[StJoek]

Thank you for sharing love mercy.  I wish I could find a church that where we could find friends.  But the more time goes by without those things the less likely they seem.

 

[Marilyn C]

15 hours ago, StJoek said:

 

 

Hi StJoek,

So glad that you are looking to the Lord for He is the answer. Now obviously there is a foothold that the enemy has over your wife. As the husband you daily pray for her, telling those spirits to loose their hold from your wife. She needs to tell those `loud thoughts,` `voices` to go, daily & work with the Lord at `bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,` (2 Cor. 10: 5)

It is a battle as you know & that means constant working at it. Our wills are involved & must be activated to `cast down` those thoughts, (voices). If our minds have become flabby & allowed to run here & there, then they will play the horrors over & over. However our minds are just like a muscle & are not the control centre of the body. Thus our wills must be activated, given to the Lord, verbally, & then daily practice at operating the will.

praying, Marilyn.