Is it a disadvantage to marry a mummy's boy?

[Neighbor]

Why so many momma's boys at China? Is it perhaps a cultural thing, mother's raising their male offspring to hopefully have the sons support them as old age takes it's toll? ???

I think at the USA a mommas boy is  pretty much a self generated thing, the male  deciding to hide from being independent, using mom as excuse for not standing up  "as a man" to leave mom's and cleave to a bride.

 I would think at the USA many females suffer from men that are a little too independent, those men failing to cleave or to honor either, bride or wife.

There seems a definite difference today over all, why in the day, my day, we couldn't wait  to get going, get out of the house of mom and build our own with our own bride. I was moving on at 17 years old.  it is vastly different today, everyone thinking they can't move out, for one reason or another. We didn't think, we just did, and found a way, our way, from there. no safety net under us  we either performed or fell from the high wire with not net. just like little baby birds; go fly,  or fall prey and die. That's what once upon a time made made most of us tough enough in a hurry. today seems everyone is looking for security before venturing out into  the world, and so there is little venture and a lot of very boring people hanging around all worrying, but hardly knowing about what they fear.

It is still- "there is nothing to fear, but fear itself".

[tinyprayers]

I'd say, no! Only if you're going to love being second in his life for the rest of your life. 

[missmuffet]

I would need a lot of information. The son should help his mother anyway he can. Is the relationship between the mother and son an unhealthy relationship? What is the attitude of the mother? Does she take the help her son gives her for granted? Is the mother controlling? His wife should be understanding if her husband helps his mom. The wife should help the mother as well as long as the mother does not have a toxic personality.The woman should know every detail about the man before she marries him. If the mother is going to complicate the marriage why marry him?

[HisFirst]

If there's a mumma's boy, then there is a controlling mum and a brow beaten dad behind the scenes.

Not just mum's fault.

[HisFirst]

Just now, Temp said:

I don't agree with this at all

mums boys are not just sensitive to women's needs in general, they are extremely sensitive to one woman's needs and that is their mum, at the expenses of others in their lives, including their wives.

in essence, you are asking if being a mum's boy would make one a good husband

the answer would be a firm no

because it will very likely make you the kind of husband who constantly throwing your own wife under the bus just to please your own mother.

that is the opposite of being a good husband

i based mine reply on personal experience by the way.

 

 

 

Hi Temp,

Was mum-in-law controlling and dad -in-law answerable to mum/wife?

Edited March 12, 2017 by HisFirst

[HisFirst]

Just now, Temp said:

are you asking about mine personal experience?

 

Yes I am.

Just now, Temp said:

if so, the answer is no

the mum boy i knew, the father is just as big a bully as the mum

 

So he was overcompensating by trying to please.

[silviawang]

37 minutes ago, Temp said:

maybe part of the problem lies in the fact Chinese culture is not rooted in Christianity

just mine observation, i could be wrong

it seems Asians such as Chinese, Filipinos and Indians tend to be pettier and love to slander people over small things, and love to lend a willing ear to evil reports about others as well

not that Westerners don't it

slander is part of sinful nature

it just seems Asians are more prone to it.....

like i said, i could be wrong though

 

I came here in 2005,and in the initial time when someone blamed china,I were very angry,and that people apologized to me for the blaming(y can find this in my former posts)

But now after 12years ,with very deep understanding and experience about every aspect of china

I totally understand Rahab in OT

as Rahab even did not mind the destroying of her country for the corruption of her motherland

I totally do not mind reveal the true face of Chinese to the world

Will bring the racial discrimination（for chinese is so.......)?

No,no,no

I totally d o not MIND,just as Rahab !!!

Edited March 12, 2017 by silviawang

[silviawang]

47 minutes ago, Temp said:

maybe part of the problem lies in the fact Chinese culture is not rooted in Christianity

just mine observation, i could be wrong

it seems Asians such as Chinese, Filipinos and Indians tend to be pettier and love to slander people over small things, and love to lend a willing ear to evil reports about others as well

not that Westerners don't it

slander is part of sinful nature

it just seems Asians are more prone to it.....

like i said, i could be wrong though

 

The ONE who totally gives the evil report of Mortals is GOD

His comment about the mortal is so evil---even totally do not have any goodness for the eternal Salvation

So the only way HE forgiving us is through the sacrifice of JESUS

That is totally a free gift,NO ONE CAN BOAST HIS OWN GOODNESS

Including y and  me

[HisFirst]

Just now, Temp said:

maybe part of the problem lies in the fact Chinese culture is not rooted in Christianity

just mine observation, i could be wrong

it seems Asians such as Chinese, Filipinos and Indians tend to be pettier and love to slander people over small things, and love to lend a willing ear to evil reports about others as well

not that Westerners don't it

slander is part of sinful nature

it just seems Asians are more prone to it.....

like i said, i could be wrong though

 

Total generalisation and not isolated to China/Asia - pettiness, slander and willingness to evil is  in every culture.

This is not what my OP is about, as the mummy's boy syndrome crosses racial lines and is part of human nature, not dictated by people groups.

 

[silviawang]

58 minutes ago, Temp said:

maybe part of the problem lies in the fact Chinese culture is not rooted in Christianity

just mine observation, i could be wrong

it seems Asians such as Chinese, Filipinos and Indians tend to be pettier and love to slander people over small things, and love to lend a willing ear to evil reports about others as well

not that Westerners don't it

slander is part of sinful nature

it just seems Asians are more prone to it.....

like i said, i could be wrong though

 

And on the contrary

I tell y ,in the chinese traditional ethic,to the emperor, officer,teacher, parents,and as a woman  to the husband,the only thing we can do is praise,even they are in the terrible mistake

The condemnation is forbidden(in ancient china),or y will be put into jail

Of-course ,the situation is better in modern china

But the strength of tradition is still there and be written in our DNA