Should married Christians have friends of the opposite sex?

[Jaydog1976]

I have acquaintances that are women but we are not best friends. I really on talk with them when at church, work or on facebook. I can assure we that we would never hangout with them in a public or private place without my wife somewhere around. 

One thing I read on time was this, Make your life as boring as possible when talking with a woman that is not your wife. When you create drama and make up woe is me stories that is where the trouble begins. It don't find it wrong for a married man to talk with a woman but I would strongly advise never to be seen alone with her and make sure that your love for your wife (or wives to the husbands) is so clearly evident that the woman you are talking to understands that your completely and totally unavailable.

 

[Neighbor]

And save the last dance? I don't know, well no I do know- that's playing with fire.

There's no saving the last dance for the one that brought you. It just doesn't work out to play  and take chances, not at being faithful,  pushing the edges of temptation and of testimony, not to Jesus and   not to the one given as one's mate.

Can't rub up against temptation and not become much like dented canned  goods afterward. The contents may still be good, but still it is never the same for it is in a dented package with  always some risk  there and never a full feeling of safety in consuming the contents.

[romans828]

It's been interesting reading the responses. I don't believe it's a matter of trusting or not trusting one's spouse. It's a matter of being aware of our flesh tendencies and the flesh tendencies of others, and being careful not to grant sin an opportunity to take hold. Sometimes you may not have feelings for your friend, but can you guarantee your friend won't develop feelings for you? I trust my husband, and the chance that he'd ever cheat on me is extremely slim because of the boundaries he has in place ... boundaries he has there for himself as well as for the other women who come into his life and want to be his "friend." 

The thing is, we don't always know how another person's marriage is really doing. I'd hate to befriend someone else's husband and then have him develop feelings for me because his marriage is having issues (or even if it was solid - I've seen spouses fall into affairs even with good marriages) - I'd hate for his wife to have to deal with that! Out of respect for my sisters in Christ, I stay away from their husbands. I have plenty of female friends for companionship and fellowship outside of marriage. There is no need for male friendships, in my opinion. 

[Guest]

32 minutes ago, romans828 said:

It's been interesting reading the responses. I don't believe it's a matter of trusting or not trusting one's spouse. It's a matter of being aware of our flesh tendencies and the flesh tendencies of others, and being careful not to grant sin an opportunity to take hold. Sometimes you may not have feelings for your friend, but can you guarantee your friend won't develop feelings for you? I trust my husband, and the chance that he'd ever cheat on me is extremely slim because of the boundaries he has in place ... boundaries he has there for himself as well as for the other women who come into his life and want to be his "friend." 

The thing is, we don't always know how another person's marriage is really doing. I'd hate to befriend someone else's husband and then have him develop feelings for me because his marriage is having issues (or even if it was solid - I've seen spouses fall into affairs even with good marriages) - I'd hate for his wife to have to deal with that! Out of respect for my sisters in Christ, I stay away from their husbands. I have plenty of female friends for companionship and fellowship outside of marriage. There is no need for male friendships, in my opinion. 

"Out of respect for my sisters in Christ, I stay away from their husbands. I have plenty of female friends for companionship and fellowship outside of marriage. There is no need for male friendships, in my opinion."

Exactly!  Wise words sister.

[Neighbor]

7 hours ago, Running Gator said:

I have a very different view of this and it is my opinion that both the "appearance of evil" and the "causing a brother to stumble" passage are woefully misapplied in our current situation. 

First off, there is always something to gossip about.  In other threads I have spoken of being "gossipped" about for talking to the same woman who was not my wife two weeks in a row after church in the foyer of the building.    I have known people that were "talked to" by their pastor or deacon because they were seen in the supermarket walking down the beer/wine aisle.   I have been told that drinking a beer is a sin because it might cause someone else to stumble.   There is no end to what can "cause someone to stumble".  IThere is nothing inherently wrong with being alone with a member of the opposite gender in a work environment, it is only in the mind of those looking for evil that it will appear evil.  

Perhaps you will disagree with me, but if what I am doing is ok in the eyes of God, then I worry much less about what the eyes of men might think

"If someone told you they felt that air conditioning was evil and the very fact you worked on them was making them stumble, would you quit doing so? "

Probably, I would also  tell "them" that I will need to direct everyone that complains about the steamy heat in the buildings to see them about it.  I will also add; I hope that will be alright as you need to thoroughly explain to the others that I am not ignoring the AC but am instead honoring  your concern and don't want you to stubble in faith.

I think you streeeech a bit down the road to reason in your choice of example; but if it were to really happen yeah sure I would do that.

Actually thinking about it, I do have someone that thinks AC's to be evil, or that it hurts them, and I do go to pretty extreme lengths to accommodate their  "need". It gets time consuming and expensive but yes I actually do that. Hadn't really thought that much about it before. This person, a really  and truly kind and  nice individual called the EPA once concerned about their own home AC and what harm it was doing to them. -The EPA actually visited them.

 

And, now that you have me on a roll- I get all sorts of complaints; too hot I want it at 78, or not cold enough I want it at 68. I have found 71.5 to net the fewest laments and grievances.

The very very very best  one I ever got was; "it is not cold enough but it is too breezy, make the room colder without moving the air." I said. "okay will try". Now  the person was in a near topless open shoulder sundress in the middle of summer  and had been sitting under the main outlet for AC air at the sanctuary. 

We humans are a delight, such funny creations.

[enoob57]

On ‎7‎/‎5‎/‎2017 at 11:38 AM, romans828 said:

I recently read a Focus on the Family article about husbands and wives not becoming close friends with members of the opposite sex. This is kind of related to a question I posted recently on another thread, but I was wondering what Christians' opinions were about this. 

My husband is my closest friend (behind Jesus, of course!), and I have several very dear ladies who are my friends and accountability partners, and next to my husband and children, I spend time alone with them. I am also friends with their husbands, but I never spend time alone with their husbands - everything I do with them is alongside my spouse and their spouse. I just think Satan uses those kinds of things as opportunities to destroy marriages, and I've seen it happen numerous times ... especially in church. However, I'm learning not everyone feels as I do, and I'm curious if it truly is possible to have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex while you are married without trouble creeping in.

So, what do you think? Is it being too careful for a married person to avoid developing a close friendship with a person of the opposite sex?

We have eternity future to let our guard down... now for this short season we are not to stand in our own >period< anything... especially in this sexually charged temp exist!

[Samaritana]

I have been happily married for 15 years, and in my opinion, you could have opposite sex friends, but you should always be with someone else in the room preferably your spouse. Also, never share to much personal information with the other person, because that is something you should cherish for within the marriage. Never open doors that might lead to something dangerous.

In my case,  after I got married I decided to avoid that problem all together, and I only have friends of my own sex. Same for my hubby.

[Anonymous Aristotle]

I've been married for nearly 30 years. If I can't trust my husband to have male and female friends, and vice versa, we don't have a marriage. We have a huge issue. 

Dishonorable people are those that self-confess they can't be trusted around the opposite sex when they're married. It takes two! 

If one doesn't have the guts to be faithful, take the marriage to a divorce court and stop playing the game that marriage means something to those artificial Christians that can't stay in a covenant with one another. SO they sure can't stay in a covenant with the God that invented the marriage they're weak in. Plain and simple fact. Grow the heck up! Before you get married. Otherwise, you'll set these stupid rules that you can't have opposite sex friends because YOU can't be trusted.  The other spouse deserves better than that.