Pastor living in a common law relationship...unknown to our church

[Maxwell.Skywalker]

I attend a evangelical church.  Today I found out the church's biggest kept secret.  The assistant pastor is living in a common law relationship with an unbeliever.  The head pastor is aware of it, and has told the assistant pastor he considers him married according to his interpretation of scripture.  I'm looking for advice on how to approach this subject with the head pastor.  He was visibly angered when another member of the church approached him....it got ugly.  Looking for anyone's thoughts on this.  

[Wayne222]

Pray much over this. It is sin and it's fornication.  If your not married you cannot live in relationship. They will not be in the kingdom of God who practice it. A little leaven will effect the whole batch. So this will teach your church to sin. God hates unrighteousness.

[SisterActs2]

Hi Maxwell.Skywalker

The head pastor is not standing on the Word of God.  He is allowing sin in the church.  The Bible is not open to his interpretation; God's Word is Holy and True and Righteous and Just.  This just indicates where some of the church is today - wanting God on their terms - but we, loving God in His Holiness, will accept nothing less than His terms, for they are the only ones that matter.  Here are some scriptures:

Titus 1:5 For this reason I left you in Crete, that you might set in order what remains, and appoint elders in every city as I directed you, 6 namely, if any man be above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion....

If this is the requirement of an elder, why would it be any different for an assistant pastor?

1 Cor. 6:18 - Flee immorality.  Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.  19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?  20 For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

1 Cor. 7:2 - But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

2 Cor.6:14 - Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness.

If they are not willing to accept that it is wrong, then I would leave and find a better church.

 

[Jayne]

It really depends on what your state holds as a legal marriage.  Not a lot of states acknowledge common-law marriages, but a few do.  If they are living in a state that recognizes them as legal unions, then it's a legal union.  And it's more than just "shacking up".  I don't know all the requirements, but cohabitation, calling each other husband/wife, declaring an intent to be married, exclusivity, and a few other things are required.  And if the common - law marriage is ever over, a divorce must be obtained, I think.

My state of Louisiana does not recognize common law marriages.

I don't really see the point.  The only difference is that there is no formal ceremony.

• You get married - you have to have a license like a hunting or fishing license with someone in authority declaring  you married.  If you don't want a to be married anymore - you have to get a legal divorce.
• You enter into a common-law marriage - you are given an affidavit from someone in authority declaring that you are living as husband and wife.  If you don't want this common-law marriage anymore - you have to get a legal divorce.

[other one]

3 hours ago, Maxwell.Skywalker said:

I attend a evangelical church.  Today I found out the church's biggest kept secret.  The assistant pastor is living in a common law relationship with an unbeliever.  The head pastor is aware of it, and has told the assistant pastor he considers him married according to his interpretation of scripture.  I'm looking for advice on how to approach this subject with the head pastor.  He was visibly angered when another member of the church approached him....it got ugly.  Looking for anyone's thoughts on this.  

depends on where they are.  In Oklahoma if they are living as husband and wife and both are able to be legally married if they wanted to be married by the state, they are legally married.

[Woman_At_The_Well]

As an Assistant Pastor, he should know better regardless of what state you live in. It doesn't matter what different states say about Common Law Marriage, it is what GOD says and HIS Word is the ONLY one that matters! FORNICATION is SIN period end of discussion!!!!!! I would definitely pray and also pray that God will find you another church! 

1 Corinthians 6:18 King James Version (KJV)

¹⁸ Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

[Adstar]

12 hours ago, Maxwell.Skywalker said:

I attend a evangelical church.  Today I found out the church's biggest kept secret.  The assistant pastor is living in a common law relationship with an unbeliever.  The head pastor is aware of it, and has told the assistant pastor he considers him married according to his interpretation of scripture.  I'm looking for advice on how to approach this subject with the head pastor.  He was visibly angered when another member of the church approached him....it got ugly.  Looking for anyone's thoughts on this.  

Both the pastor and the assistant pastor are wrong..  I would leave that church after explaining my reason for leaving that Church to the pastor..

[Woman_At_The_Well]

1 minute ago, Adstar said:

Both the pastor and the assistant pastor are wrong..  I would leave that church after explaining my reason for leaving that Church to the pastor..

Amen to that!

[Woman_At_The_Well]

12 hours ago, Maxwell.Skywalker said:

I attend a evangelical church.  Today I found out the church's biggest kept secret.  The assistant pastor is living in a common law relationship with an unbeliever.  The head pastor is aware of it, and has told the assistant pastor he considers him married according to his interpretation of scripture.  I'm looking for advice on how to approach this subject with the head pastor.  He was visibly angered when another member of the church approached him....it got ugly.  Looking for anyone's thoughts on this.  

I have one word and that is LEEEEEEEEEAVE as fast as you can!!!! There shouldn't be any compromise at all!!!!!

[Guest Butero]

14 hours ago, Maxwell.Skywalker said:

I attend a evangelical church.  Today I found out the church's biggest kept secret.  The assistant pastor is living in a common law relationship with an unbeliever.  The head pastor is aware of it, and has told the assistant pastor he considers him married according to his interpretation of scripture.  I'm looking for advice on how to approach this subject with the head pastor.  He was visibly angered when another member of the church approached him....it got ugly.  Looking for anyone's thoughts on this.  

It is not a matter of how the Pastor sees the relationship.  How does the Assistant Pastor look at his relationship with the woman he is with?  Does he consider her his wife?  If they were to split, would he feel it would mean he was divorced, or could he just go forward acting like he was never really married in the first place?  One doesn't necessarily need a government license to be married in the eyes of God, but in my experience with people who don't get legally married, most will call the person with their spouse unless they split up down the road.  

He is in violation of scripture to have "married" an unbeliever in the first place, but if he is "married," then he would have to follow the teachings of 1 Corinthians.  How does the Assistant Pastor view his marriage, and why did he choose not to make it legal?  He is the one I would question.  Did he and his common law wife commit their lives to God as husband and wife till death do they part?  Doubtful.