turtletwo Posted April 2, 2018 Group: Royal Member Followers: 35 Topic Count: 1,192 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 7,264 Content Per Day: 1.18 Reputation: 15,710 Days Won: 194 Joined: 07/15/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted April 2, 2018 My life has been turned upside down. My best friend who happens to be my mom is in a coma with severe brain damage. She has been making real progress with some of her body systems, praise God! However, she can not talk anymore and it will take a miracle for that to change. I miss our special chats and feel disoriented these past several weeks. I don't mean to feel sorry for myself, but I guess I feel cheated. I know she has the hardest part of this situation. She has always been a fighter and with God on her side, there is still hope. But how do I cope with this shocking change and void? I don't want to cave in to depression, but it's only natural to be sad. Right? Any ideas on how to deal with this? I feel at an impasse, 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ladypeartree Posted April 2, 2018 Group: Royal Member Followers: 37 Topic Count: 540 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 32,878 Content Per Day: 5.04 Reputation: 23,599 Days Won: 228 Joined: 06/21/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/23/1953 Popular Post Share Posted April 2, 2018 Start by praising God that she is still " in with a fighting chance " as when you were first told the doctors wanted to turn off her life support and you stopped that happening so give yourself a HUGE HUG When my children were grieving for my son ( he died when he was 22 in a freak accident ) I reminded them that without change there is no progress ... when a baby is in the womb it is safe and happy and wants for nothing . A child is born in amongst pain and protesting its expulsion from its " world " into the next but when it gets over the shock everyone rejoices its arrival here . Same can be said of the other end of life.... no one wants to let go of this life to get to the next but just think of the rejoicing there will be when they arrive . Think of your mum as a baby in the womb .. we talk to them even if they cant answer us and we can and do have a relationship with our unborn children and when it is time for the next change REJOICE we know who is waiting for us 3 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayne222 Posted April 2, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 32 Topic Count: 477 Topics Per Day: 0.17 Content Count: 6,560 Content Per Day: 2.27 Reputation: 7,638 Days Won: 9 Joined: 06/12/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted April 2, 2018 Hey its so natural to feel the way you do. You feel a lost and it hurts,too. God is right there with you. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingnut- Posted April 3, 2018 Group: Royal Member Followers: 39 Topic Count: 101 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,673 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 7,358 Days Won: 67 Joined: 04/22/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted April 3, 2018 Loss is a difficult thing to accept when it comes, so is change. What you need to start thinking about, is a new normal, for the near future, and beyond. Whatever happens from this point, things will not be exactly as they were before. Your first love though, is the Lord, so keep your mind on that. We are all praying for you and your mother. God bless 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turtletwo Posted April 4, 2018 Group: Royal Member Followers: 35 Topic Count: 1,192 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 7,264 Content Per Day: 1.18 Reputation: 15,710 Days Won: 194 Joined: 07/15/2007 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 4, 2018 Thanks ladypeartree, for sharing your unique and personal perspective. I am sorry for your loss of your son. Tonight I've been thinking upon your illustration about talking to the baby in the womb... Thanks wayne222 for your compassion in your understanding words. Thanks wingnut for your helpful and practical advice. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Hidden In Him Posted April 4, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 12 Topic Count: 19 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 449 Content Per Day: 0.18 Reputation: 423 Days Won: 1 Joined: 07/21/2017 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/16/1964 Popular Post Share Posted April 4, 2018 Though I can't go into detail, I have been experiencing something similar; a definite depression at times, and a type of loneliness and longing that no one can fill. I am being shown by the Lord that I will eventually have to go to Him to heal me of my emotional pain, which is strange to me because I have always turned to other human beings for things like that. He and I have never been that close that I could feel as though He would entirely heal me of emotional sorrows (My relationship with God has always been very close on a mental level, but not that much on an emotional one). But He has promised me that if I go to Him with my pain, I will emerge with the fire of God operating in my life to a far greater extent, so I am going to have to do this, even if it means spending significant time in prayer until I finally know beyond doubt He has become my Truest Companion in every way. Just in case this experience ends up leaving you with a void no one else can fill. He is always there for you, and He is the best friend we can ever have. That much I know. God bless, Hidden 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Willa Posted April 4, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 68 Topic Count: 186 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 14,247 Content Per Day: 3.33 Reputation: 16,658 Days Won: 30 Joined: 08/14/2012 Status: Offline Popular Post Share Posted April 4, 2018 It is claimed that people in comas can still hear, and people who have recovered from them can recount everything said in the room. So the best thing you can do when you are with your mom is to read Scripture to her and pray aloud for her peace and comfort. It is hard to be the strong one when you have relied upon her for so long. It is called role reversal and it is so hard when you are grieving for the mom you have always known. My dad had a devastating stroke when I was 15. It left him with spastic paralysis, which means he had very painful muscle cramps for the rest of his life. It totally changed his personality as well. I grieved because I lost the dad I had known and loved and had to adjust to a dad who was so much different. We didn't have enough money for food so we were affected on many levels. So I understand your shock and grief. The steps of grief include shock, denial, bargaining with God, anger, depression and acceptance. The latter is when you decide that life goes on but it will always be different. God has promised to never leave us or forsake us. It is OK to mourn. The disciples mourned deeply for Stephen when he was stoned. Praying for you. 4 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enoob57 Posted April 4, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 35 Topic Count: 100 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 41,247 Content Per Day: 7.98 Reputation: 21,496 Days Won: 76 Joined: 03/13/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/27/1957 Share Posted April 4, 2018 On 4/2/2018 at 1:48 AM, turtletwo said: My life has been turned upside down. My best friend who happens to be my mom is in a coma with severe brain damage. She has been making real progress with some of her body systems, praise God! However, she can not talk anymore and it will take a miracle for that to change. I miss our special chats and feel disoriented these past several weeks. I don't mean to feel sorry for myself, but I guess I feel cheated. I know she has the hardest part of this situation. She has always been a fighter and with God on her side, there is still hope. But how do I cope with this shocking change and void? I don't want to cave in to depression, but it's only natural to be sad. Right? Any ideas on how to deal with this? I feel at an impasse, I always realize that when stuff like this knocks me for a loop I immediately examine what it is that has done this... most of the time it was something out of wack in me and hindering me a closeness to The Lord I desire... when everything in us is given to >God for we trust Him and Love Him< how is it when He takes it we feel loss? Do I really think it was better for them to remain here with me I always find peace for God has promised us no more separation forever shall I wine about the years now or look to the eternity ahead? Prayed for ya TT, Love, Steven 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debp Posted April 5, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 52 Topic Count: 1,023 Topics Per Day: 0.15 Content Count: 12,339 Content Per Day: 1.80 Reputation: 16,381 Days Won: 92 Joined: 07/19/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted April 5, 2018 My heart goes out to you. Good advice given to you by all. I do agree with Willa that people in comas can still hear what is going on around them. So as she suggested, do read the Bible to her or maybe even sing to her or play some beautiful music for her. Besides this helping her, it can also be a comfort to you. God bless you and your mom. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BacKaran Posted April 6, 2018 Share Posted April 6, 2018 Please bring your bible with you wherever you go and read from it for strength. Ive been a widow for years and its a different normal, it will never be the old normal but you will get through this. My dad passed and I still have days where I say I can see Dad....oh, I cant....Dad would like this for lunch...Oh, we cant have lunch but its the hard times that make one stronger in faith and trust in The Trinity for all your needs! Cant pray? the Holy Spirit understands. Not sure what to do, wait or write a pro and con list and let God guide you. I had a dying aunt in the hospital and I told the nurses not to disturb her by coming in each hour to take temperature and blood pressure etc. I said we know she’s dying, let her have some peace while she’s here. I took her home to die, what precious memories I have! In all things pray and trust Him. This life and its sufferings are for but a short time, praise God you are saved for all eternity! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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