Need advice

[HikerMom]

For many years I have struggled with not being on the same page as our church.  Our church believes baptism is necessary for salvation and it seems to me that it leads to a very works oriented faith that has had a negative impact on me.   I would like to leave but my husband believes I will not find what I am looking for.  He doesn't agree doctrinally with our church either but doesn't want to go somewhere else and have to meet new people.  He also thinks there is no perfect church and so I won't be happy with what I find.  So my question is how should I handle this.  He is perfectly fine with me going elsewhere, he just won't guarantee to follow me.  I would love to hear some wise advice on how you would handle this if you were me.  Would you look for a small group to grow in to attend outside of this church and just go on Sunday mornings with him?  I can't see really throwing myself into this church like I would like to.  We have gone there 19 years.  I appreciate any thoughts.

[wingnut-]

He has a point, there is no such thing as a perfect church, they all have people in them lol.  Thing is, if you both feel they are preaching unsound doctrine, moving on would be the wiser choice.  Perhaps you can convince him to try other churches, just to see what is out there.  Will be praying for you.

God bless

[HikerMom]

Thanks Wingnut...I am praying and hoping God will make the way clear to both of us.

[Debp]

Hi, were you able to visit any other churches?   Hope so.

[Larry 2]

On 4/2/2018 at 3:51 PM, HikerMom said:

For many years I have struggled with not being on the same page as our church.  Our church believes baptism is necessary for salvation and it seems to me that it leads to a very works oriented faith that has had a negative impact on me. 

Hi dear Sister HikerMom, I came from Catholicism when I no longer agreed with much of their dogma, and did the same with other churches I attended for awhile as I grew in grace and knowledge of our Lord. Did that make former friends at those places my enemies, or not my brethren in Christ? No, I know many Catholics that have called upon the name of the Lord. Rom 10:13  For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. 

I highly doubt you will find the perfect teachings that will agree with you all the days of your life, but learn to enjoy the worshipping together with others of like faith, and the brotherly love of fellowship in the very presence of our God. 

Just an opinion in Christ Jesus.

[HikerMom]

Hi Larry 2,

I appreciate your thoughts!  It's rather complicated for me.  I know I need community and feel like the people I worship with think so differently that it is hard to connect or thrive.  I just started participating with a ladies study from another congregation.  We likely don't believe completely the same way but I feel much more in sync with them so far.  We'll see.  It's really about finding a more healthy group in my mind.  Usually the more involved I am the more  struggle with fear and the harder time I have trusting God.  And I've always felt uncomfortable bringing a guest due to what I see as legalism.  I'm not sure that people who are struggling can afford to be in a more legalistic environment.  Grace is like air!  Maybe my thinking is wrong, but I know God has a plan so we'll see what happens. 

No matter what, I will still continue to attend on Sunday mornings with my husband, though that is the limit to his involvement.  He doesn't want to move simply because he doesn't want to deal with meeting new people.  He is a doctor and it's always stressful because everyone wants him to see them medically, and he just can't do that unfortunately.  He doesn't have relationships where we are at  but doesn't want the stress of meeting new people and setting those boundaries again. 

For myself, I've recently walked through several years of insomnia after some very stressful life events that I was trying to solve rather than giving it to God.  Strangely enough, I was trying to prevent something bad from happening by praying intensely.  So intensely that I couldn't sleep which eventually led to a fear of not sleeping which made the insomnia intense!! I'm still not out of the woods.  Learning to trust God in a much deeper way has allowed room for God to heal me.  I can see His purpose for this insomnia though it is incredibly difficult.  And so I feel I really need the encouragement of being in a more healthy group.  But I have learned that God wants me to relax and let Him help me with that.   Thanks for the input!

 

[Larry 2]

56 minutes ago, HikerMom said:

For myself, I've recently walked through several years of insomnia after some very stressful life events that I was trying to solve rather than giving it to God.  . . .  I can see His purpose for this insomnia though it is incredibly difficult. . . .  I have learned that God wants me to relax and let Him help me with that.   Thanks for the input!

That is a wonderful testimony. You're sounding an awful lot like the Apostle Paul despite your sufferings. In the following Paul said this:

2Co 12:7  And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. 
2Co 12:8  For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. 
2Co 12:9  And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.

There's a song "Thriough it all" I love, and Paul said this in relation to what was occurring in his life in Rom 8:28. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. 

You'fe on the path to total victory sister; good job.

[HikerMom]

Larry 2, thanks so much for your great encouragement!!  It's usually very difficult for me to explain! I can see He is using the insomnia to set me free from all fear, worry or control!  And I know He will use it for good!!

Debp...currently I am attending another ladies bible study on Tuesday nights and going to the same church on Sunday mornings with my husband.  I just don't want to add any stress to my husband's life by going elsewhere.  I tremendously enjoyed the first ladies class meeting I went to so we'll see.   My plan is to just keep going to that class and wait for God to make things more clear to me.  One thing I've learned recently is just to ask Him to help me and teach me.  He continues to do those things for me.  It usually takes some time, but He does teach me more and more as time goes by....  If He has a different group that He wants me to be a part of I think He will help me find my way there in His time...  

Edited May 17, 2018 by HikerMom

[Larry 2]

12 minutes ago, HikerMom said:

Larry 2, thanks so much for your great encouragement!!  It's usually very difficult for me to explain! I can see He is using the insomnia to set me free from all fear, worry or control!  And I know He will use it for good!!

Debp...currently I am attending another ladies bible study on Tuesday nights and going to the same church on Sunday mornings with my husband.  I just don't want to add any stress to my husband's life by going elsewhere.  I tremendously enjoyed the first ladies class meeting I went to so we'll see.   My plan is to just keep going to that class and wait for God to make things more clear to me.  One thing I've learned recently is just to ask Him to help me and teach me.  He continues to do those things for me.  It usually takes some time, but He does teach me more and more as time goes by....  If He has a different group that He wants me to be a part of I think He will help me find my way there in His time...  

I personally like the idea of you attending those ladies bible studies that are blessing you. Just a suggestion would be for you to continue attending the present church with your husband until he is ready to try another. He may be receiving special revelation and help from our Lord you're not aware of yet, and like me and most others I've known, there comes that time in our spiritual walk with Christ where He seems to just pick us by the bootstraps and moves us. It may come by word from a professional associate of your husband, or even a miracle in a patient he witnesses, but be with him, encourage him, and especially continue in prayer for him. Blessings in Christ Jesus dear sister.

[Debp]

So glad you have found a ladies Bible study that you like and with which you are at ease.   I agree a legalistic environment is not healthy.  Maybe you can take a guest to the Bible study?