I'm too close to divorce

[Guest Discouraged]

I'm really way too close to divorce. My wife is miserable and doesn't seem to want to be married anymore. She really doesn't seem to be able to get over the pain in our marriage and is more concerned with just giving up. In fact she's told me that she doesn't believe that we'll be happy together and that I'll be happy with someone else. She's been trying almost desperately to tell me that she simply wants a divorce, but doesn't want to be the one to leave. Can anyone help? If God made marriage, what's up with all this divorce stuff. Can God make this something that allows for us to grow closer. Will she ever really love me ever again? I really hope I can get some help soon...

[ayin jade]

The Lord can heal your marriage. It sounds like you both would benefit from marriage counseling. Have you talked to your pastor or a Christian counselor? They can help you both restore your marriage.

Place the Lord first, and pray for your marriage.

[Guest Bro David™]

Praying for you.

Bring this to the Lord in Prayer like Ayin Jade said.

Just know that Jesus is a Mighty God, he can set the captives free.

YBIC

[other one]

http://www.familylife.com/conferences/marriage.asp

find one of these weekends to remember conferences and take your wife there. Many marriages have been brought back from the brink of disaster at these conferences.

[Constant]

I'm really way too close to divorce.  My wife is miserable and doesn't seem to want to be married anymore.  She really doesn't seem to be able to get over the pain in our marriage and is more concerned with just giving up.  In fact she's told me that she doesn't believe that we'll be happy together and that I'll be happy with someone else.  She's been trying almost desperately to tell me that she simply wants a divorce, but doesn't want to be the one to leave.  Can anyone help?  If God made marriage, what's up with all this divorce stuff.  Can God make this something that allows for us to grow closer.  Will she ever really love me ever again?  I really hope I can get some help soon...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sometimes people close up and make an excuse to take the place of what is really bothering them. Have you asked her? You probally have. I have been through this before. I have doubted my love for my husband when in fact, it was not the problem at all. I was going through something and I was just reaching. I hope that you will find the answers and please never give up on your marriage!

[Leonard]

Praying in Denver.

[Work in Progress]

I'm so sorry for your pain. It sounds like you need outside help. Seek out a Christian counselor and go together and separately. Is your wife a Christian? If so, start praying together if you don't already. Even if you are at a loss for words, holding hands and praying "Lord, we are in trouble, please help us" is a good start.

Ask your wife directly what it is that is lacking and what she needs and wants from you.

God Bless.

[Iryssa]

I've heard that those Family Life conferences are great!

My advice is this: seek Christian counseling...there's nothing like getting a fresh perspective.

God can do extraordinary amounts of healing!! I can think of one couple in particular whose realtionship got turned around so much that their relationship is now better than it has ever been! They're like school-kids in love, only smarter

Also, I once saw a diagram of how a Christian's relationship with their spouse works; the closer you both are to God, the closer you are to eachother. See the diagram here.

I wish I could remember where I saw that, because I'd like to give credit where credit is due...but if any of you know where I might have seen it, do let me know *grin*

[Avodah]

Praying for you!!

[Smalcald]

I will pray for your marriage.

I will say however that not all we go through as Christians is going to be good, will always work out the way we like. God told us that divorce should not be an option and we should trust Him at His word. Does that mean that your marriage is always going to be happy, or that you are always going to feel love for your wife, or vice versa? No it doesn't. This may be your cross; it may never be the way you would like it to be, but that still does not mean divorce should be an option for you.

But this life is not our home anyway.

Sorry for being kind of a downer, but I think marriage is worth it and is part of our life as Christians, but the reality is, it is often hard, and often not as we would like it to be.