Can we withhold forgiveness ?

[JTC]

For me forgiveness is hardest when the other person doesn't ask for it nor even admit they did something wrong. But I did learn how to do this. I have to focus on this what God wants and not the other person.

[Adstar]

If a person asks us for forgiveness we should grant it... 

Now that does not mean they will be forgiven by God..

They need to establish the right relationship with God through the Gospel to be forgiven by Him..

[discipler777]

REVELATION.2:1-7 (NKJV) =  The Loveless Church

1 “To the angel of the church of Ephesus write,

‘These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: 2 “I know your works, your labor, yourpatience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; 3 and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary.

4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent. 6 But this you have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.

7 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God.” ’

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Christians who have left their first love of hating sins/evil-works or fruit and have fallen need to repent, in order to remain forgiven by God and saved. Example, today we have false pastors/prophets/Christians "loving" and forgiving unrepentant homosexuals and adulterers in the Church, instead of counseling, warning and expelling them(1CORINTHIANS.5:1-13).

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Edited December 1, 2018 by discipler777

[JTC]

19 hours ago, maryjayne said:

So much this. Thank you for posting this. I often find such obedience to Gods Will very hard, and have to ask God to help me to find the strength and courage to let go of my feelings and give it the Him to resolve, by my forgiving the person or persons.

Maryjayne,  I'm not saying it's easy and it did take me years to learn to do. I started having to learn this in 1991 but I got way too much practice at it it in 2001. Now, whenever it happens I chuckle a bit and look upwards and say to God, You sure do want me to become an expert at forgiveness huh? Then I think of Jesus forgiving the men who beat and killed Him. Not just the Romans but especially the Jews that kept insisting He be crucified even after Pilate wanted to release Him. Well okay, we know Jesus had to die so He could be resurrected, defeat death, Satan etc. but really there are much easier ways He could have been put to death. I don't know if I could have done that and I hope I never have to find out. But almost no one ever asks me to forgive them. I do it because God said we must and because by staying angry I only hurt myself. It is hard.

Edited December 1, 2018 by JTC

[Heb 13:8]

Do we forgive in quiet prayer, or do we confront them?

[Heb 13:8]

3 minutes ago, maryjayne said:

whatever is appropriate in the situation.

If someone comes to us asking for forgiveness, it may be appropriate to talk with them and forgive them in person. Sometimes people do not want our forgiveness, and we can only pray about it and leave it with God, telling Him we forgive them. I personally find it helps to be specific with God in prayer about who and what I am forgiving. 

Just a few ideas which help me in this.

Nowadays it's so easy to locate people and write a letter, via whitepages(dot)com.

[discipler777]

19 hours ago, JTC said:

Then I think of Jesus forgiving the men who beat and killed Him. Not just the Romans but especially the Jews that kept insisting He be crucified even after Pilate wanted to release Him.

That only applied during times of persecution and martyrdom of believers by powerful enemies, as per ROMANS.12:19-21, ie believers should "forgive and love"  their enemies to death. Jesus Christ had already prophesied persecution and martyrdom to His apostles at MATTHEW.10:16-33 and told them to take the path of non-resistance at LUKE.22:49-51 and JOHN.18:10-11.

In normal times, Christian believers should still keep/obey God's Law of "You shall love your neighbor/brethren as yourself and hate your enemy"(MATTHEW.22:37-40, 1CORINTHIANS.5:1-13 & 6:9-11), eg apply the law of ni4ni against your unrepentant enemy. That is in fact what most national governments are doing during normal times, eg execute convicted murderers and jail convicted rapists and robbers. Should you forgive and let off such unrepentant murderers, rapists, robbers, burglars, etc, especially when it affected you or your family.? We should sympathize with the victims of sins/crimes rather than with unrepentant sinners/criminals. Without the rule of law, there can be no peace in a nation or society = lawlessness.

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After murdering Jesus Christ, the powerful, unrepentant and unbelieving Jews(eg Saul of Tarsus) went on to persecute and martyr(eg Stephen at ACTS.7) the early Jewish Christian believers. They also went on to appoint false christs/messiahs to lead them into armed rebellion against their Roman rulers. In the end, God did not forgive but cursed these unrepentant Jews = they were massacred and their Holy Temple of Jerusalem was destroyed by the Roman Army in 70AD, as prophesied by Jesus Christ at LUKE.21:20 & MATTHEW.24:15.

Edited December 2, 2018 by discipler777

[jeremiah1five]

On ‎11‎/‎28‎/‎2018 at 9:04 PM, R. Hartono said:

Jesus told us to forgive people so that we may also be forgiven 

Mat 6:14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

But here Jesus says if  we do not forgive them they are not forgotten.

John 20:22 ...and with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

WHAT EXACTLY WE MUST DO ?

Atonement ends all that. Either Jesus died on the cross at Calvary and all the sin of God's Elect is atoned on that day (it is and was - the Holy Spirit in us is proof this happened), or He didn't and Jesus' death meant nothing if God is still in the atonement/forgiveness stage with His people.

The verses you use have to do with relationship, not salvation.

Relationship.