helena Posted May 5, 2019 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 2 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/05/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted May 5, 2019 hello, I’m really struggling in a situation. I’m so scared for the answers, because I love my boyfriend so much, but here’s my story. I would like to see your opinion about it. long story short: i do have a relationship with a muslim, since october. I dont know if God allowes us to be with a man who is muslim/ or any other relationship. I love him so much and I dont know what to do. It hurts me that he doesnt believe that Jesus is the Son of God. He’s just such a good heart person and I love him and even want to marry him someday, but I just dont know if its allowed. My family says its forbidden and that the bible says the same, but the bible says more right? I hope you can help me and give me advice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ayin jade Posted May 5, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 44 Topic Count: 6,178 Topics Per Day: 0.88 Content Count: 43,795 Content Per Day: 6.20 Reputation: 11,243 Days Won: 58 Joined: 01/03/2005 Status: Offline Popular Post Share Posted May 5, 2019 Im sorry helena, but if you are a Christian, you should not marry a muslim. It would have been better if you had not started dating him to begin with. The bible is clear that we are not to be unequally yoked, meaning a Christian shouldnt marry someone who isnt a Christian. In addition, since the husband is supposed to be the spiritual head of your house, how can a muslim properly be a spiritual head? A muslim is not saved. A muslim is spiritually blind. I know its painful, but this is not a relationship you should be in. 2 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other one Posted May 5, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 29 Topic Count: 598 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 56,164 Content Per Day: 7.56 Reputation: 27,887 Days Won: 271 Joined: 12/29/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted May 5, 2019 if a woman is not a muslim, they should spend some time learning about the Islamic way of life before even dating someone who is muslim. It is not a real pretty sight. A Christian woman definitely should not marry a Muslim.... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted May 5, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,991 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,689 Content Per Day: 11.79 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted May 5, 2019 37 minutes ago, helena said: hello, I’m really struggling in a situation. I’m so scared for the answers, because I love my boyfriend so much, but here’s my story. I would like to see your opinion about it. long story short: i do have a relationship with a muslim, since october. I dont know if God allowes us to be with a man who is muslim/ or any other relationship. I love him so much and I dont know what to do. It hurts me that he doesnt believe that Jesus is the Son of God. He’s just such a good heart person and I love him and even want to marry him someday, but I just dont know if its allowed. My family says its forbidden and that the bible says the same, but the bible says more right? I hope you can help me and give me advice! The Muslim and the Christian do not have the same understanding of who God is. You are a born again Christian? Do you love Jesus Christ? Then why would you want to compromise your faith for a Muslim boyfriend? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willa Posted May 5, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 68 Topic Count: 186 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 14,244 Content Per Day: 3.33 Reputation: 16,658 Days Won: 30 Joined: 08/14/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted May 5, 2019 2Co 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2Co 6:15 What accord has Christ with Belial (satan)? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 2Co 6:16 What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, "I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 2Co 6:17 Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, 2Co 6:18 and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GandalfTheWise Posted May 5, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 24 Topic Count: 40 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,459 Content Per Day: 0.60 Reputation: 2,377 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/23/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted May 5, 2019 1 hour ago, helena said: I hope you can help me and give me advice! I'm going to answer this from a practical viewpoint of considering what life will look like for you many years down the line. I've been married for over 30 years now. We had both been Christians for a number of years before we got married. We both come from Christian families with parents (and grandparents) on their first marriages. We have a similar outlook on life and similar priorities. We know many Christian couples that have been married for decades as well. There's not a one of us that would say marriage is easy. The two main reasons we're all still married are 1) that we all had much more in common than we had differences and 2) we married people of good character and integrity without a lot of red flags about them. I know many Christians whose marriages have been disasters and often ended up separated or divorced. Often it is because they ignored many red flags before marrying someone (which has included marrying Christians who really needed to clean up their own act first). The majority of Christians I know go into marriage with a clearcut sense that it is for life. However, ignoring red flags often ends up putting one into a very bad situation. I've seen a lot of marriages over my life, both those that have gone well and those that have not. My gut instincts are that it is a strong probability that if you continue with this relationship that years from now you will kick yourself for having gotten into it. A good friend who's now been a pastor for nearly 40 years gave some good marriage advice in a sermon. He described marriages as going through three general stages: infatuation, disillusionment, and contentment. The majority of marriages (and most relationships) start off with both partners infatuated with each other. You sound like you are fully in the infatuation stage where you cannot image life apart from your boyfriend. There's a good chance that within the next few years that disillusionment will start to set in. The burning passion, longing, and infatuation starts to evaporate and one finds oneself stuck with the reality of the other person and they'll probably be feeling the same way. This happens in pretty much every marriage. It's in the disillusionment stage that most marriages that are going to end do so. After disillusionment fully sets in, what keeps a marriage together is commitment, character, and integrity. Having a common outlook on life, supportive families, supportive friends, and having stable influences in both of your lives is what allows a couple to move to the contentment stage. You see each other fairly clearly (both pros and cons), you're comfortable together, and you've become partners for life. I cannot imagine life without my wife right now. Having said that, there are occasionally some nights we both sleep on opposite sides of the bed as far apart as we can without falling off the edge or one of us heads to the couch. One of the biggest blessings in my life is my wife's family. There is no drama. Get togethers are enjoyable and relaxing. I cannot imagine what it is like for people where drama and fighting are common place in family relationships. The infatuation stage will be great for a few years, but then it is about character, how much a couple has in common, and what type of support structure they have around them that helps move them through disillusionment to contentment. What do you think life will look like 5 to 10 years from now if you stay in this relationship and get married? He and his family and friends are likely to consider your children as Muslims and view them as belonging primarily to him rather than you. Will he expect you to eat halal food? Dress appropriately? Observe Ramadan and other things? How will his family and friends treat you as a non-muslim? Will there be pressure for you to convert? I don't know what country you are in, or where he and his family might be from. You may face some nasty political and custody situations down the line if something starts falling apart in the relationship. You will very likely come directly face to face with what Muslims really think of Christians. Will your Muslim husband stand up for you as a Christian? or will he start to expect you to convert? I know a pastor from Nigeria (where there is much Muslim on Christian violence occurring). His comment about Muslims was this: they are honest friendly good people, but you never know when they will show up with torches and machetes in the middle of the night to kill you because some imam or cleric told them to because you are an infidel. I'm NOT saying your boyfriend would do this. However, if you continue in this relationship, you (and potentially your children) will likely come to face to face with the dark side of Islam that sees you as an infidel that needs to be converted and that your children might need to be protected from you. I can tell you with near certainty that the infatuation and deep longing you feel right now will evaporate and change over time. Without that, would you really have anything in common with your boyfriend that would draw you to him? If you continue with this relationship, you've got a good shot at having a few years of infatuation and good times. However at some point (likely within the next 3 to 5 years), the reality of who you both really are and want from life will start to determine the quality of the relationship and your life (and potentially your children's lives). 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeauJangles Posted May 5, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 43 Topic Count: 229 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 10,900 Content Per Day: 2.92 Reputation: 12,145 Days Won: 68 Joined: 02/13/2014 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/14/1954 Share Posted May 5, 2019 Thanks Gandalf, for taking the time in writing out in detail, the potential disaster this relationship could end up like. Although no absolutes here, a good deal of the things described are very likely. God bless. Shalom, David/BeauJangles 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayin jade Posted May 5, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 44 Topic Count: 6,178 Topics Per Day: 0.88 Content Count: 43,795 Content Per Day: 6.20 Reputation: 11,243 Days Won: 58 Joined: 01/03/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted May 5, 2019 If I may add to gandalfs sage advice ... My brother who is not a Christian married a muslim woman. His marriage has been a disaster and is now ended. There is a lot of terrible baggage from his relationship with his adult kids due to the islamic influence of his ex wife and her family. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayne Posted May 5, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 107 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3,822 Content Per Day: 1.29 Reputation: 4,810 Days Won: 2 Joined: 03/31/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted May 5, 2019 (edited) Think of future children. Is he going to allow them to attend Christian churches and profess Christianity? I know quite a few Muslims and yes, the ones I know are good and kind and funny and friendly. [I pray for them regularly.] But when it come to their faith - they are NOT leaving it. And their children are indoctrinated in their faith from the beginning. It's going to hurt like crazy - but you MUST break this off. Unless he [and I might add his parents] do convert, there is a strong likelihood of future sorrow for you. Sorrow that will hurt a hundredfold more than it does now.] The same would be said if he were an atheist, Buddhist, Mormon, Hindi, or anything else opposed to Christianity. Edited May 6, 2019 by Jayne 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Who me Posted May 6, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 17 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,300 Content Per Day: 1.72 Reputation: 1,686 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/27/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted May 6, 2019 11 hours ago, helena said: . I’m so scared for the answers, because I love my boyfriend so much, i do have a relationship with a muslim, since october. I love him so much and I dont know what to do. It hurts me that he doesnt believe that Jesus is the Son of God. He’s just such a good heart person and I love him and even want to marry him someday, but I just dont know if its allowed. I hope you can help me and give me advice! You have known this man since Oct and it is now May, that is 6 months. That is not enough time to know whether anyone is worth marrying. May I make two suggestions. 1. bring him to church with you. 2. discuss how, where you will live and how will your children be brought up, as Christians attending church as a family each week or as muslims attending the mosque each week. Which of those last two options do you want? A general comment. Anyone you date, you should be inviting to attend church, if they won't that relationship is ending. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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