why is the bible almost silent on the subject of divorce and remarriage

[vic66]

Count the Cost

By Pastor Dana Hartong

 

“Dad, is there ANY scripture you can find in the Word of God that would allow us to give our blessing to my father-in-law’s up-coming marriage to a divorced woman?” That was the question that started me on the journey to find the truth about this issue.

We had lived in Indiana, and the church in which I was ordained did not allow us to remarry divorced people. So, I had never really faced the question until we moved from that state. Since it was now my own decision to remarry couples, I did so, accepting the teaching about the innocent party.

Now God started me on a quest for the truth. I went to my knees, searched the Scriptures, and hardly ate or slept while God taught me. The truth is, according to Malachi 2:13 through 16, God says He won’t accept their offerings anymore. Why? - Because they have dealt treacherously with the wife of their youth who is the wife of their covenant. God says HE HATES divorce and they have wearied Him by saying everyone who does evil is good in His sight and He delighted in them. If we are to love God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind, why would we want to do something He hates?

I have always believed the plain words were the main words. If Scripture is not plain it leaves room for man to manipulate the Word, and manipulate they have.

Jesus says in Luke 16:18: “Whosoever (same whosoever used in John 3:16) putteth away his wife and marrieth another, committeth (ongoing) adultery, (if God didn’t consider the man and woman still married it wouldn’t be considered adultery, it would be fornication) and whosoever (same as John 3:16) marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. THOSE ARE PLAIN WORDS!

Jesus says in Mark 10:11,12:  “Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband AND be married to another, she committeth adultery. THOSE ARE PLAIN WORDS!

Paul tells us in Romans 7:2-3 that if a woman marries another man while her husband is alive, she SHALL (a command) be called an adulteress though she be married to another man. THOSE ARE PLAIN WORDS!

The Scripture that is unclear to most Christians is Matthew 5 and Matthew 19 about remarriage. Instead of searching out the background of this Scripture which uses the word fornication instead of adultery, Pastors have taken it as a carte blanche to remarry divorced members of their church and to divorce and remarry themselves. Now Christians find themselves in the position of being less forgiving of their mates than non-Christians. The divorce rate in America is over 50% while among Christian believers it is approximately 60%. Shouldn’t, at the very least, those stats be reversed? When it comes to remarriage, according to a 2002 study by the Center for Disease Prevention, among women age 14-44, 82% of Fundamentalist  Christians are most likely to remarry within ten years of divorce, while in ten years 66% of non-religious people are likely to remarry. The Word says in Matthew 6:15 that if we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us. So, where does this leave us?  Since divorce is an act of unforgiveness, it follows that we have a problem receiving God’s forgiveness.

We were privileged to travel to the Holy Land and while there, a Jewish guide explained Matthew 5 and 19 to us. Matthew was written to the Jews, who had the custom of arranging marriages.  The father of the groom paid the bride price, struck hands with the father of the bride and the marriage was a done deal. But the marriage was not consummated until the night of the wedding feast, usually at least a year after the fathers’ arrangement. This was to prove her virginity. If there was no blood on the marriage sheet from breaking the hymen, she was not considered a virgin but was considered a fornicator and her husband could put her away (divorce her).  That is why Matthew 5 and 19 say fornication. It was written to the Jews in accord with their customs.

Joseph chose to put Mary away quietly before the Angel told him to not be afraid to take her as his wife. In Jesus’ time the Jews didn’t divorce because of adultery, because adulterers were stoned and then the “innocent” party was free to remarry. God says in Mark 10:8 that “They twain shall be one flesh so that they are NO MORE twain (two), but one flesh. In other words He makes you one and you will NEVER AGAIN be two. I had to ask God to forgive me for remarrying divorced people and going against His Word.

We have a ministry called “New Hope for Broken Marriages” which came about because of my wife and I going through the valley and almost divorcing. Then I believed like a lot of Pastors and Christians believe today. I could divorce her and God would forgive me and it would be under the blood. I found out later no sin is under the Blood if it isn’t confessed and relinquished. You have to ADMIT IT AND QUIT IT! Christians today in the churches don’t find it hard to admit it but they find it very hard to quit it.

The number of pastors divorcing their wives is appalling. My only conclusion is that they don’t believe God’s Word to be true. It’s the old story of the frog in the boiling water. It’s not too bad in the beginning, but by the time the water is boiling, it’s too late. I plead with pastors and pastors’ wives to COUNT THE COST. Not only do they put themselves in danger of missing Heaven (no adulterers will enter Heaven), but they endanger all who follow their teaching, and as Pastors, will be held responsible.

PLEASE PASTORS, COUNT THE COST!

THE PRICE IS TOO HIGH TO BE WRONG!

 

Signed,
Pastor Dana Hartong

 

Copyright© 2003 by Rev. Dana and Val Hartong.  All rights reserved except as noted below.

This article was written for Theological Foundations Ministries at www.marriagedivorce.com for purposes of publication on its web sites. It may be reproduced for non-commercial reasons by others provided it is copied as is, and is unaltered in anyway whatsoever and this full copyright notice is included in all copies.

[vic66]

On 6/26/2019 at 2:02 PM, Worship Warriors said:

TWO CAMPS

In the christian church, there are two camps .

One camp: the liberal believes that the first time the couple comes together, that’s when they committed an act of adultery by remarrying.  This view is supported by the Westminster confession of faith (the Majority view). The other camp: the conservative believes that there is a permanent state of adultery by remarrying.

 

I prefer the liberal camp.

WHY THE BIBLE IS ALMOST SILENT ON THIS SUBJECT

Scripture abounds with God’s original intention in marriage. . A marriage covenant is a bond: two people bonding together or cleaving to one another like super clue to be loyal in love and faithfulness till deaths do us apart.  The scripture permits divorce because of hardness of heart for the protection of the innocent party. Hardness of heart would include domestic violence; desertion, abuse of verbal divorce.

 

 

 

In the community of faith, there are consequences for having hardness of heart. Your prayers are hindered, (1Peter 3:7, Malachi 2:13-15). In Malachi, they were divorcing their wife’s for the younger pagan women and the LORD refused to accept their offering because YOU have dealt treacherously with the wife of your covenant.

 

 

 

The scripture is almost silent on the subject of divorce and remarriage without committing adultery. There is only 2 isolated exception scripture in the NT. These scripture are the subject of great debate in the Christian church. Why is the scripture silent?

 

 

 

I believe it’s because God is seeking for a Godly offspring for the dominion mandate. The dominion mandate that God gave to Adam and Eve in Genesis1, cannot be fulfilled without the divine order of loving God with all your heart and loving your spouse as Christ love the Church .God wants us to contend for the marriage covenant. The covenant is bigger than your dull emotions. The marriage covenant is bigger than adultery. Love can be ignited again (the War room movie).

 

 

 

We have to learn to love like Hosea loves Gomer. Under the definition of the Hebrew word covenant love-“Hesed”, adultery is not a ground for divorce and remarriage. Here is a love that sobs for the one it loves and longs to be reconciled back. Here is a love that knows no end to forgiveness. Here is a love that suffers long and is kind, that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things. Here is a love that never fails.

 

 

 

Psalm 127:5- a godly marriage is so crucial for the raising up of godly children. When you have a godly marriage and are raising up godly children, then your children will be able to contend with the enemies at the gate. Taking the gate of a city is equivalent to taking a whole nation and turning it to righteousness. There is no ability to contend with the enemy at the gate when your marriage is in a mess.

 

 

 

Leviticus 21:8 the high priest was forbidden to take a divorced woman as his wife.

 

Ezekiel 44:22 the sons of Zadok were forbidden to take a divorced woman as his wife.

 

 

 

It has to do with the dominion mandate. Those who minister to the LORD within the veil and in the inner sanctuary had to keep a higher standard of purity. The LORD is seeking for purity, for a goodly seed for the dominion mandate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO  BASIC  ETHICAL  QUESTIONS  ASKED  BY  CHRISTIANS
In discussing the subject of divorce, Christians find themselves asking two important questions:
1. Is a Christian ever justified in seeking divorce? 2. Once divorced, may a Christian re-marry?
In an attempt to answer these important questions, we submit the following:
The Three Main Schools of thought amongst Christians on the subject of Divorce and ReMarriage are:

Position 1
If one of the partners in the marriage bond is guilty of adultery then on the authority of Matthew 5:31,32 and Matthew 19:1-9, the innocent party has Scriptural grounds for divorce and subsequent remarriage. However, if the guilty party repents and seeks forgiveness, then forgiveness should be extended, and every endeavor should be made to re-build the marriage relationship.

Position 2
If one of the partners in the marriage bond is repeatedly guilty of adultery, and seems to be unrepentant and not willing to change, then forgiveness should be granted but reconciliation is not expected.  The innocent party, in this instance, has Scriptural grounds for divorce and remarriage on the authority of Matthew 5:31,32 and Matthew 19:1-9.
We at High Calling Ministries NZ hold to the following position:

Position 3
If one or both of the partners in the marriage bond are guilty of adultery, this does not give the innocent or guilty parties Scriptural grounds for divorce.  Marriage is to be regarded as a binding life-long covenant, which can only be terminated by the death of one of the partners.
Contrary to popular opinion, none of the following are Biblical grounds for divorce:
             *  Adultery                                       * Homosexuality
             *  Fornication                                   *  Abuse
             *  Unfaithfulness                              *  Alcoholism
             *  Desertion                                      *  Prostitution
             *  Cruelty                                          *  Insanity
             *  Sodomy                                         Etc………….
The marriage vows made to each other before many witnesses, the minister and God, are binding and hold each other accountable for better for worse, till death do us part. Each partner in this marriage bond is to realize that, as opposed to being a contract which has escape clauses and penalty clauses; marriage is a sacred covenant which binds the couple together with an unbreakable vow made to God.
The Exception Clause
The references in Matthew 5:31,32 and Matthew 19:1-9, when read in the NIV Bible and many other versions, state that marital unfaithfulness is Biblical grounds for divorce. This is deduced from the clause in the King James and other older versions, where the wording read “except it be for fornication”.  The NIV translators considered this to be equivalent to “marital unfaithfulness”, which is not an accurate translation of the original Greek text.  The Greek word Porneia means fornication (i.e. pre-marital sexual relationships).

The Biblical  Hebrew Custom
When culturally understood this phrase “except it be for fornication”, refers to the Hebrew custom of courtship/engagement before marriage and allows for breaking the “engagement” in the event of fornication (i.e. pre-marital sexual relationships).  This is the position that Joseph and Mary found themselves in, as recorded in Matthew 1:18-20. Joseph was espoused (or engaged) to Mary and before they came together in marriage, she was found to be pregnant.  Joseph thus contemplated exercising his legal rights to put his wife away by giving her a bill of divorcement.  In the Hebrew customs, she was considered to be his wife during the time of the binding epousal period, even though they had not officially come together in the covenant of marriage.
The exception clause is only found in Matthew’s gospel, as this was written primarily to Jewish believers, and is regarded as the Kingdom Gospel.  Mark 10:10-12 and Luke 16:18 address the subject of divorce and re-marriage, but do not include the exception clause.  The reason for this is that both Mark and Luke were written with more Gentile readership in mind than Matthew’s gospel.  In the ancient Greek/Gentile and Modern Western cultures we do not adhere to the 9 to 12 month’s bind espousal period and thus, the gospels of Mark and Luke naturally omit the exception clause, as it is irrelevant.

Further Biblical Explanation about Betrothal/Espousal
Betrothal/Espousal -Divorce of a betrothed wife. 
Betrothal among the Jews in Biblical times took place nine to twelve months before marriage.  The bride being in all respects bound as a wife, she could be freed only by death or divorce, under the same divorce laws as the married woman.

During the espousal period of between nine to twelve months before the marriage proper took place, the woman who was betrothed or espoused was regarded as the man’s wife, and he as her husband, even though they had not sexually come together or made their marriage vows.
Deuteronomy 22:23 (Sleeping with a betrothed/espoused damsel was regarded as with  sleeping with another man’s wife).

Matthew 1: 18-21  (Mary was only betrothed/espoused to Joseph when she was found pregnant.  They were not properly married and thus, according to Hebrew custom he could put away his espoused wife by giving her a writing of divorcement.                                      

Death (not divorce) was the penalty for adultery in Old Testament times.
Leviticus 20: 10  (A man committing adultery with another man’s wife must be put to death). Leviticus 18: 20  (Adultery defiles a man and makes him ritually unclean) Deuteronomy 22: 22 (A man and a woman committing adultery: both must die)

[Prycejosh1987]

I guess that that is because Christians should not divorce and in the new testament is explains how to keep a good marriage. I think it is James or peter that explains how, husbands should treat their wives like Christ treats his church. The wive should be submissive and supportive. The new testament and the old is a good for marriage.

[Walter and Deborah]

WHY THE BIBLE IS ALMOST SILENT ON THIS SUBJECT

Amen, as far as these scriptures point out, they are to me rightly divided, but as far as my experiences, I found that most of the time there are some type of lust in a person life that is conceived, bringing forth a sinful nature of examples that we must not endure such immoralities.

At least I can say for myself as a Christian, but can anyone say the same?

Love always, Walter  

Edited July 8, 2020 by Walter and Deborah
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