Do Christian girls still go for bad boys?

[mlssufan01]

I can't seem to shake this notion that the majority of women, especially attractive women (even Christian women), only want the stereotypical bad boy--tattoos, motorcycle, cuss word, slept with more than a dozen women....even their religious background is not important.  Having been subjected to secular culture, it is apparent that the secular man will, in many cases, specifically pursue the goody goody Christian girl, and rejoice at all their successes...and what's worse, in most stories, they tell of a woman who pursued them first.  I should point out, that these accounts seem pretty reliable, as they do make note that not all women are like this, and have found the are deeply devout girl who would completely reject them, but for the most part, these bad boys are successful and bringing Christian women to bed.
But my problem is, why do women fall for it?  There are plenty of upstanding men in the church, and yet, the women reject the men who regularly attend church, pray, read their Bible...even the outgoing ones that share their faith.
While I don't claim to be good, I don't go out of my way to be evil...but I have noticed a few things:  When I first attended church as a non Christian...women were all over me...until I converted...then they wanted me no more...until I had an angry moment where I yelled at the entire church to be quiet as pastor was vying for people to sit down and I was annoyed....I remember very vividly that day being approached by several attractive ladies.  I also remember being pursued only when I would leave the church for a while.
Recently, a Christian girl said she wanted to befriend every single coworker of hers...I didn't agree this was necessarily a good idea, but that she should be careful...even though she was annoyed at first, she and her friend began texting me 5 times a day...when I responded nicely, asking how their day was...they backed off.
I know nobody is perfect, but at some level this makes me feel like I have to be a degenerate if I actually want to find a woman to marry.

Edited November 2, 2019 by mlssufan01

[Sower]

18 minutes ago, mlssufan01 said:

I know nobody is perfect, but at some level this makes me feel like I have to be a degenerate if I actually want to find a woman to marry.

Change church. Too complicated for me to digest the above.
For myself, it was simple to find the one God picked out for me.

[BeauJangles]

Do Christian girls still go for bad boys?

46 minutes ago, mlssufan01 said:

I know nobody is perfect, but at some level this makes me feel like I have to be a degenerate if I actually want to find a woman to marry.

This was an unfortunate situation for you, and I'm sorry about the sour experience. I suppose some women even though seemingly upright and born again might find the aspect of a wild kind of guy exciting. But surely this isn't true for the majority. If you're living a sincere and honest life before the Lord, some nice lady will find that admirable. Don't give up, God certainly has plans for your life. 

[mlssufan01]

1 hour ago, Sower said:

Change church. Too complicated for me to digest the above.
For myself, it was simple to find the one God picked out for me.

This isn't a one-off church...this is mostly referencing what I've seen posted from secular sources, both prior and after conversion...and also somewhat experiential from what I've seen over several churches.
I would like to stress that there are always exceptions...but it is very rare.  I do have a couple friends who married good Christian girls with good morals.
In fact, one girl from one of my churches married Brett Harris... author of Do Hard Things and the son of Josh Harris...but that brings about a whole other tangent which I don't even know how to talk about.

Edited November 2, 2019 by mlssufan01

[mlssufan01]

36 minutes ago, BeauJangles said:

Do Christian girls still go for bad boys?

This was an unfortunate situation for you, and I'm sorry about the sour experience. I suppose some women even though seemingly upright and born again might find the aspect of a wild kind of guy exciting. But surely this isn't true for the majority. If you're living a sincere and honest life before the Lord, some nice lady will find that admirable. Don't give up, God certainly has plans for your life. 

What I typically find is that most Christian women have a "wild bad boy phase" and will ultimately land the Christian man once their innocence has been robbed.  I find truly devout Christian women are not a majority, but a rarity.  I wish I had some statistic on this, but I don't think you can measure a person's heart.

[Sower]

Thought you was trying to find a life mate, your future bride.
You seem to know an awful lot about the opposite sex.
Realize, they all have the same problems all humans have, they're not perfect.
If you're really looking, why not lay your burden before God, and ask  for His direction.
He does say to ask/seek and you will receive an answer.
Then, wait upon the Lord.
 

[mlssufan01]

36 minutes ago, Sower said:

Thought you was trying to find a life mate, your future bride.
You seem to know an awful lot about the opposite sex.
Realize, they all have the same problems all humans have, they're not perfect.
If you're really looking, why not lay your burden before God, and ask  for His direction.
He does say to ask/seek and you will receive an answer.
Then, wait upon the Lord.
 

lol I don't claim to know a lot about the opposite sex...only what I've read from multiple sources.  And they are in agreement...secular sources cite bad boys bragging about the Christian women they bedded..Christian sources espouse the woman regretting her taste for bad boys.  The problem is if you truly want a God-honoring, saving herself for marriage Christian woman who also desires a goody goody Christian man who prays, read his Bible, and is generally kind...I have rarely found that woman...and if I have...she was already married.  Yes, we're all sinful...but once we're regenerated, we are not to live in accordance with the flesh.  And let's remember we're talking about devout Christian girls here...not the secular girls whom later converted.

Edited November 2, 2019 by mlssufan01

[Sower]

9 minutes ago, mlssufan01 said:

lol I don't claim to know a lot about the opposite sex...only what I've read from multiple sources.  And they are in agreement...secular sources cite bad boys bragging about the Christian women they bedded..Christian sources espouse the woman regretting her taste for bad boys.  The problem is if you truly want a God-honoring, saving herself for marriage Christian woman who also desires a goody goody Christian man who prays, read his Bible, and is generally kind...I have rarely found that woman...and if I have...she was already married.

Marriage is only secondary to belief in Christ in making major life decisions.
I would quit reading secular books for advice, and secular sources (bad boys???) bragging (surely exaggerated) about loose Christian
women (where do you find this kind of trash?), and "Christian sources"
Get on your knees and go to God with your burden.
I hope you're not here just liking to label Christian women in a bad light.
You can ask your questions without smearing the ladies with your "secular proof"of a rare virgin.
Your talking about my grand daughters.

[Willa]

Most "goody goody" Christian girls are incredibly naive.  Others hope to change the bad guy.  That is also being naive.  Only God can change them.  Most pity the bad guys, as God pities us all who are lost and need salvation.  They don't understand yet that pitying love comes from God and they should let guys minister to guys;  in other words, they don't understand how dangerous guys can be and how gullible they themselves are.  Nor do they understand how strong a guys sex drive is because women think in terms of marriage, a home and family; even when girls like that are flirtatious they don't necessarily think in terms of sex.  They want a guy's friendship.  

Most don't even understand yet that just because a guy comes from a Christian family, it doesn't mean they are born again.  

I have listened to many girls who were raped by someone they met at church.  Some feel very fallen, that no one would want them afterwards, or even that God would never forgive them.  They can't forgive themselves.  This is not only true of church girls who are baby Christians.  I have talked to women that were not Christians and not raised in Christian homes that felt the same way as far as feeling fallen and had a very low opinion of themselves after sex outside of marriage.  They often feel totally worthless so they sleep around afterwards.  That is their words. 

[mlssufan01]

You must take into account that I myself was secular for 20 years, so would have had secular knowledge. Not only this, but there are many testimonies of female Christian's, on the internet admitting to willfully pursuing the bad boys for sex.  However, they usually do feel guilt afterward,.  The percentage is 80% of female christiand having sex before marriage, and that's just the ones that admit it. I am not smearing..those are facts.  I only seek to understand why, and explain why I feel like a failure for being good but not desired.