Do Christian girls still go for bad boys?

[LonerAndy]

On 11/1/2019 at 9:58 PM, mlssufan01 said:

I can't seem to shake this notion that the majority of women, especially attractive women (even Christian women), only want the stereotypical bad boy--tattoos, motorcycle, cuss word, slept with more than a dozen women....even their religious background is not important.  Having been subjected to secular culture, it is apparent that the secular man will, in many cases, specifically pursue the goody goody Christian girl, and rejoice at all their successes...and what's worse, in most stories, they tell of a woman who pursued them first.  I should point out, that these accounts seem pretty reliable, as they do make note that not all women are like this, and have found the are deeply devout girl who would completely reject them, but for the most part, these bad boys are successful and bringing Christian women to bed.
But my problem is, why do women fall for it?  There are plenty of upstanding men in the church, and yet, the women reject the men who regularly attend church, pray, read their Bible...even the outgoing ones that share their faith.
While I don't claim to be good, I don't go out of my way to be evil...but I have noticed a few things:  When I first attended church as a non Christian...women were all over me...until I converted...then they wanted me no more...until I had an angry moment where I yelled at the entire church to be quiet as pastor was vying for people to sit down and I was annoyed....I remember very vividly that day being approached by several attractive ladies.  I also remember being pursued only when I would leave the church for a while.
Recently, a Christian girl said she wanted to befriend every single coworker of hers...I didn't agree this was necessarily a good idea, but that she should be careful...even though she was annoyed at first, she and her friend began texting me 5 times a day...when I responded nicely, asking how their day was...they backed off.
I know nobody is perfect, but at some level this makes me feel like I have to be a degenerate if I actually want to find a woman to marry.

So the answer is generally yes.   Girls are for whatever reason, attracted to bad men.   Now this isn't universal obviously, but it is a pattern I have seen as well.    Of course some women will vehemently deny this, because they will say, that they were not.  And that's true.  They were not.   But many are.

Some of the girls that I grew up with, ran off with very bad men, and ended up beaten and abused by them.   This includes girls I went to church with.

There are two things you need to remember.  First, saying that you are Christian, doesn't make you Christian, anymore than saying you are a Camero, makes you a sports car.   Similarly, sitting in a pew at church, doesn't make you a Christian, anymore than sitting in a garage makes you a Mercedes.

Second thing you need to remember, is that even if you are a Christian, your parents heavily influence how you see the world, and how you approach finding a mate.

What I mean to say is, a women may say she is Christian, and you need to (in the words of Ronald Reagan) Trust but Verify.   See if they really are a Christian, not just say they are a Christian.   And sometimes, even those who are Christian, may not know how to look for, or what to look for, in a mate.   Meaning being a real Christian, may not cause you know how to find a good spouse.

The classic example of this in the Bible, was Samson in the Bible.  A faithful follower of G-d, and a judge in Israel, but was horrifically bad with picking women.  And his parents, were clearly bad at guiding him on this matter.

So let's just be careful before me make some unfair assumptions about the women around you.

As for the girl who wants to be friends with everyone, let her be.  That could be her way of reaching out to pagans.   Some people want to be friends with absolutely everyone.  It's a nice thought, I can't relate to it... but it's a nice thought.

Regardless,

The path to finding a good spouse, is not always easy.  Some people, they marry the first person they ever go on a date with.   They just find someone, by waking up and walking outside.  More power to them.   The rest, have to go hunting, and hunting isn't easy.    I read where a deer hunter, and spend 60 days, almost two full months, before scoring a single deer.   

The point is, it could take some time, and it could require some effort.   And you need to accept the fact, that sometimes you are going to be stopping around the woods of romance, without finding anything.

Just keep praying, and keep looking.   Ask for wisdom on this.   There is one prayer that G-d has always promised will be answered, and that's the prayer for wisdom.

Good luck.

[mlssufan01]

On 12/1/2019 at 5:17 PM, anynmsfmly said:

Hi, mlssufan01 

I was over on another Christian advice forum that turned out to not be, "So Christian", And when i was looking for another place to go,

The keywords I used actually linked me to this post, On this site, First.  So... I wanted to give a little, More, "In Depth", Look,

In to a young, Female's, Mind, That you may think, Likes, "Bad boys", As being one who got mislabeled as the type, If you would be open to it,

I am new here, And I am unsure if this would be better suited to a PM,

 

Or a post, in response to this.  I am not certain if you will like my answer, But I am willing to discuss it. Or you, Might like parts of it, Because it involves second generation feminism, And the course in which this has changed the behavior,.And the definition, Of "Masculine", To translate, or even Redefine itself, and morph, 

 

In to, "Bad". Just let me know.

 

lol you're free to do as you please within the site's rules.

Regarding feminism--I grew up in the same town as Elizabeth Cady Stanton...I'm extremely well educated in feminism.

[JohnD]

Do Christians, can Christians, is one a Christian if...

reveals a lack of understanding what a Christian is.

A Christian is a fallen sin natured human being who believes

in the genuine Jesus Christ.

Period.

Everything a sin natured human being is capable of or incapable

of a Christian is capable of.

Perfection only comes in the resurrection. 

Most folks (I'm finding) don't have a clue about this, and they are

genuinely shocked by how much human nature we retain until

we die or Jesus returns.

We should be aware of it, make decisive plans to control it and discipline

it (our ongoing sin nature)...

Our ignorance of it / denial of it

opens us all up to much more evil than

we otherwise would be spare of.

My guess is we falsely believed that passing laws would keep everyone in

check. Then the self deceptions kicked in... I'm not so bad... no worse than the next guy...

etc.

Bible says we are desperately wicked and that even our best side / righteousness are like

filthy used rags before a Holy God.

That goes for men and women.

Edited January 31, 2020 by JohnD

[JohnD]

Girl wants the bad boy.

Guy wants the bad girl.

Long as Christians are still human...

[Prycejosh1987]

On 11/2/2019 at 1:58 AM, mlssufan01 said:

I can't seem to shake this notion that the majority of women, especially attractive women (even Christian women), only want the stereotypical bad boy--tattoos, motorcycle, cuss word, slept with more than a dozen women....even their religious background is not important. 

It true, at least the women in my church love bad boys, i get more attention when i dress like a bad boy. I am a modest guy and it is frowned upon my girls at my church. I think you can be attractive in women's eyes but at the same time love God and be committed to him. I am getting older now so i don't dress bad boyish much anymore. I used to dress in Adidas and Nike, i dont anymore, as long as i feel comfortable i couldnt care less what girls think.