Consequence of fornication pregnancy

[Neighbor]

On 12/27/2019 at 4:26 PM, Daniel22 said:

I’m Not blaming her but I got played.

Baloney.

The woman she made me do it. Nope!

Since finances are not an issue perhaps any court that gets involved will look to the deepest pockets as the best source of support for the child regardless of whose runners beat whom to the finish line and fertilized an egg.  Just having entered the race makes one a potential winner for responsibility of their actions. 

Happens ya know.

Praying for this child. May God bless him or her with a good starting point for life

Paying for the adults as well.

 

[other one]

On 12/25/2019 at 2:21 PM, Daniel22 said:

I look back and think what spirit could possess a man with wisdom to make such daft decisions. Thank you looking foward to feedback. God bless

Well I can't for sure tell you what spirit had possessed you but it certainly wasn't from God and most likely it was little old you doing it all.   And you certainly are not alone in the world with your problem.....    From my personal viewpoint your needs or your woman's needs are not what matters....   it is the child's needs that are important.

First thing you do is DNA tests to make sure it is your child...   but in the mean time don't so alienate yourself from the woman to the point you can't be a father to the child....   you seem to have already made up your mind about the girl in giving your child a good home.    Child support is not any kind of real substitute for a closed family and you owe that to any of your children.

As for praying for the pregnancy, you should hope for nothing but a normal healthy pregnancy.....   what's the difference in your heart in hoping the pregnancy fails and an abortion...   you already killed the child in your heart.           You have put yourself in a shaky spot, but it's not as disastrous as you might be thinking.

I have two very close friends that made the same mistake as you about 50 years ago....   both got ladies pregnant that they most likely would not have married if they had not.    both are still married to the ladies and they have had fairly good relationships with them....    you will learn how to handle your wife should you go ahead and marry her....   and if not then maybe you need an alpha female to help you through life.   That's not a bad life for some who really need it.   My brother in law has that kind of relationship with his wife.

Whatever you do, do it with all you have and it doesn't have to turn out bad in the long run.....       I'm 72 and we will be married for 50 years come July of 2020..    I thought I loved my wife when we got married, but as everyone finds out, we really don't know what love is until a relationship is several years old....        Don't cut yourself short of abilities, and don't so diss the mother of your child that you can't have any kind of relationship with her.....    should you get married I can promise that both of you will change....    and if you both decide to make a family with your child it almost always changes for the best....

So to make a long story shorter, be careful that you don't destroy any chance of a future for a happy family for your child....    that would be so much more devastating that getting her pregnant.

And remember that Jesus demands that you show her love and take care of her like he took care of the church.....   when you do that part, she will follow you to the ends of the world....   get in her face and demand she submit to you and she will make your life a living hell. 

[other one]

On 12/25/2019 at 2:21 PM, Daniel22 said:

I look back and think what spirit could possess a man with wisdom to make such daft decisions. Thank you looking foward to feedback. God bless

Well I can't for sure tell you what spirit had possessed you but it certainly wasn't from God and most likely it was little old you doing it all.   And you certainly are not alone in the world with your problem.....    From my personal viewpoint your needs or your woman's needs are not what matters....   it is the child's needs that are important.

First thing you do is DNA tests to make sure it is your child...   but in the mean time don't so alienate yourself from the woman to the point you can't be a father to the child....   you seem to have already made up your mind about the girl in giving your child a good home.    Child support is not any kind of real substitute for a closed family and you owe that to any of your children.

As for praying for the pregnancy, you should hope for nothing but a normal healthy pregnancy.....   what's the difference in your heart in hoping the pregnancy fails and an abortion...   you already killed the child in your heart.           You have put yourself in a shaky spot, but it's not as disastrous as you might be thinking.

I have two very close friends that made the same mistake as you about 50 years ago....   both got ladies pregnant that they most likely would not have married if they had not.    both are still married to the ladies and they have had fairly good relationships with them....    you will learn how to handle your wife should you go ahead and marry her....   and if not then maybe you need an alpha female to help you through life.   That's not a bad life for some who really need it.   My brother in law has that kind of relationship with his wife.

Whatever you do, do it with all you have and it doesn't have to turn out bad in the long run.....       I'm 72 and we will be married for 50 years come July of 2020..    I thought I loved my wife when we got married, but as everyone finds out, we really don't know what love is until a relationship is several years old....        Don't cut yourself short of abilities, and don't so diss the mother of your child that you can't have any kind of relationship with her.....    should you get married I can promise that both of you will change....    and if you both decide to make a family with your child it almost always changes for the best....

So to make a long story shorter, be careful that you don't destroy any chance of a future for a happy family for your child....    that would be so much more devastating that getting her pregnant.

And remember that Jesus demands that you show her love and take care of her like he took care of the church.....   when you do that part, she will follow you to the ends of the world....   get in her face and demand she submit to you and she will make your life a living hell. 

[Daniel22]

4 hours ago, other one said:

Well I can't for sure tell you what spirit had possessed you but it certainly wasn't from God and most likely it was little old you doing it all.   And you certainly are not alone in the world with your problem.....    From my personal viewpoint your needs or your woman's needs are not what matters....   it is the child's needs that are important.

First thing you do is DNA tests to make sure it is your child...   but in the mean time don't so alienate yourself from the woman to the point you can't be a father to the child....   you seem to have already made up your mind about the girl in giving your child a good home.    Child support is not any kind of real substitute for a closed family and you owe that to any of your children.

As for praying for the pregnancy, you should hope for nothing but a normal healthy pregnancy.....   what's the difference in your heart in hoping the pregnancy fails and an abortion...   you already killed the child in your heart.           You have put yourself in a shaky spot, but it's not as disastrous as you might be thinking.

I have two very close friends that made the same mistake as you about 50 years ago....   both got ladies pregnant that they most likely would not have married if they had not.    both are still married to the ladies and they have had fairly good relationships with them....    you will learn how to handle your wife should you go ahead and marry her....   and if not then maybe you need an alpha female to help you through life.   That's not a bad life for some who really need it.   My brother in law has that kind of relationship with his wife.

Whatever you do, do it with all you have and it doesn't have to turn out bad in the long run.....       I'm 72 and we will be married for 50 years come July of 2020..    I thought I loved my wife when we got married, but as everyone finds out, we really don't know what love is until a relationship is several years old....        Don't cut yourself short of abilities, and don't so diss the mother of your child that you can't have any kind of relationship with her.....    should you get married I can promise that both of you will change....    and if you both decide to make a family with your child it almost always changes for the best....

So to make a long story shorter, be careful that you don't destroy any chance of a future for a happy family for your child....    that would be so much more devastating that getting her pregnant.

And remember that Jesus demands that you show her love and take care of her like he took care of the church.....   when you do that part, she will follow you to the ends of the world....   get in her face and demand she submit to you and she will make your life a living hell. 

I feel where your coming from. I’m simply in too deep. Me marrying her is not even an option irrespective of where things goes. I cant paint the picture clearly enough on here for anyone to grasp it without talking down on her but it simply won’t be happening. I’ll pray that God takes control of the situation and leave it at that. I’m not scared of responsibility in any form of way. But I know myself and I know her now as well, and theirs things i obviously didn’t know about her prior to her getting pregnant that came to me as a shock, had I have known I wouldn’t have got involved. 
it’s in the hand of God now. I’ll look back at it in a few years differently i guess, such is life. Thanks for your input. 

[LonerAndy]

On 12/25/2019 at 3:21 PM, Daniel22 said:

I’ve recently experienced the full effect of the devil and the result of sinful ways, but I’m afraid I’m in too deep. Years ago I met a girl through another friend and started seeing her. I was raised by Christian parents so I know what’s right from wrong so I’m not making excuses but I found it difficult to meet a woman that I believe was the right one for me, a lot of this is based on the world and life I was exposed myself to. 
When I first met the girl something felt off about her. She was confident and very interested in me in an odd way. I’ve been the shy type of guy for most of my life and she was able to get me to open up to her. as time has gone on I drifted away into the world and even though I pray everyday, sinning slowly became the norm for me. The woman I met was slowly able to get into my head and slowly as she did, I began to fall for her charm and slowly she had a hold over me, I remember having intercourse with her for the first time and crying after it because i felt wrong in my spirit. But this wasn’t the end, over a few years I kept seeing her on and off and I honestly don’t know how it’s happened when I look back at it. I feel as though I was under some kinda spell, then I’d wake up from the spell but then I go through depression quite a lot, and it would be in these dark times that I would be drawn back into her web, the same patterned carried on for a few years. I’d delete her number and then I’d say I’m never seeing her again but then I’d somehow end up seeing her then I’d stay away for another 6 months. It wasn’t till recently I decided that I’ve met someone I believe is right for me by God, even though I’d known this person for a while I wasn’t quite sure  as time has gone on I’ve started to see that she is meant for me. 
I finally decided to cut my ties from this other girl who’s web I was in and then she tells me she’s pregnant. It almost felt like a dream because unlike the other times when I decided it was time to stop seeing her, I was fully committed to removing her from my life and settling down and getting married with the one I love. And it almost felt as though she knew I was gone for good so she sees this as a means of developing a hold on her. Now I know I’ve sinned, I know the word of God well enough to know I shouldn’t have been fornicating in the first place, but I also feel as though she had an unexplainable demonic kinda hold over me which I find hard to explain but when you feel it you feel it. I’ve been to church a few times and have had some deliverance prayers to cut of soul ties and unwanted bonds and things along these lines, and everyday I pray about this situation but I really just wanted some advice. 
as far as the physical goes the bond is completely broken. theirs not a thing in the world that would take me back there again. I’ve woken up and realised what it is for what it is. But this girl is not someone I feel I’m mentally strong enough to cope with for the rest of my life if she is indeed to have my child If indeed it does happen to be mine. I might sound foolish but im really not as foolish as I sound, which is what makes this harder to beat, its like knowing a trap, seeing it but not being able to control yourself from walking into it, and then now your in it you’re asking yourself how could you be so daft, it’s unthinkable, if somebody else was to tell me this happend to them looking at the facts involved I’d call them an idiot. depression is just a terrible thing and can take you to places that when you look back you question how you could scoop so low. I protected myself most times I did see her and she said she Assured me she was On contraception. an accident happened in one of the times I last saw her which is why her claim could be true. She is a girl that gets around quite a lot and could also be lying but she also might be telling the truth. I’ve prayed to God for forgiveness and it’s a sin I’d never find myself committing again and in a way this has brought me close to God again in a way I’ve never been for a long time. But I just wanted to know if it’s wrong to pray to God to not make her the mother of my child, but at the same time I don’t want to feel like im sinning with prayer and make things worst. This girl really is a big problem and theirs more to her than I can say on here without being negative but she’s not great news all round, and I’m certain she saw a prey and pounced and now even her tone and how she speaks has completely changed. Like a person that’s had a mission all along and now they’ve hit their target.  A child is for life, am I wrong as a Christian in praying against any bonds with her or praying against her pregnancy if it is indeed mine, Not saying I’m trying to escape the consequence of my sin but I just feel this will be a complete nightmare with the character I am. Haven’t been able to get a good night sleep in weeks, just been praying a lot and fasting but I once heard a message saying pray that you don’t pray when it’s too late and i feel as though the signals from God was there for me to listen too but I turned a blind eye to it and now I’m on the verge of hell. I know they say theirs always a positive but with this one here ive really bitten of more than I can chew. I look back and think what spirit could possess a man with wisdom to make such daft decisions. Thank you looking foward to feedback. God bless

I'm assuming this is a non-christian girl, because I can't image a christian women jumping in bed with a man she isn't married to like that.  At least that wouldn't happen at any of the Christian chruches I know of, unless they were faking being a christian.

So It wasn't an unexplainable demonic kind of hold over you.  You were seeing a non-christian girl, and got feelings for her.  You brought that on yourself. 

NOT trying to rub it in, but the first thing anyone must do to move forward, is completely and entirely own your own choices.  You did this.  You can't blame the girl at all.  You knew better, you made a choice, and now there are consequences.  You can't blame the pagan girl, because pagans don't know anything.  That's why they are pagans.  They believe in moral relativism, and if it feels good it's right.   It's the Beatles "All you need is love" mentality, which is a lie, and you knew better.

So what do we do?   First, do a DNA test, to verify the baby is yours.   But it seems like it clearly is, based on what you said.   Then We gather our selves together as a man, and face the consequences of our choices.

I would personally, not marry this girl.   I don't know what the laws are where you live, but here in the US you would end up paying child support for the next 18 years.  That's a consequence of the path you made the choice to take. Again, do not marry this girl.  A marriage born of sin, rarely if ever, works out.

Now you have to go to the woman that you love, and tell her that you had a baby with another chick.   What will she do?  Hard to say.  I know what I would do.  But that's me.  So you need to tell her what you have done, and once again... face the consequences of the choices you made.

We've all done stuff we should not, and had to face the consequences of those choices. The bigger the error, the bigger the consequence.  That's how it works.

I'm not trying to drown you in sorrow, but I'm also not trying to sugar coat the topic, and have a spiritual Kumbaya My Lord around a camp fire, and pretend everything will be fine.   It's not.  Actions have consequences.  That's life for all of us.

The only thing that is for sure, is that the person who repents, and stops sinning, will eventually be forgiven and restored.  But it could be 18 years before it happens.

[Justin Adams]

Well said. I could say what happened to me... but YUCK. I will keep it to myself for now.

I really was as dumb as two short planks... REALLY.

[Prycejosh1987]

On 12/25/2019 at 8:21 PM, Daniel22 said:

 A child is for life, am I wrong as a Christian in praying against any bonds with her or praying against her pregnancy if it is indeed mine,

If it is yours then that is fantastic news. Its a shame it came to fornication but whatever, i am happy that the child was born and hope that the mother will love and support the child she has.