How do I deal with my previous church/friend/pastor's family

[mlssufan01]

I believe I've posted before regarding this subject, involving a major falling out with a pastor's family from an AofG church some time ago long story short they broke off their friendship with me and would only allow me back in a limited capacity, despite not knowing if I did anything wrong and their family coming to me and insulting me directly...But I noticed the mother of the family, also a pastor of the church, liked my recent facebook post--basically in the post I basically just shared a thank you to the local reformed baptist church I had been attending over the past 1.5 years that was honestly one of the better churches I've attended. But her liking this bothered me. I have always been open to working things out. While I don't think we necessarily have to go back to the way things were, I also think the Bible calls us to reconcile with fellow believers as long as we're repentant. It just makes it hard when I keep seeing their name pop up but I'm at a loss for what to do or say. If I need to move on, I can't when I see their names on my screen. If they're willing to sort this out, I can't because I've already reached out twice before with no resolution and don't want to come off as harassing. I have no idea how I should regard them...as fellow brothers/sisters in Christ as well as an authority figure or false teacher. I dearly loved them, but this whole situation has completely shattered me left and right and I don't know what to do.
If need be, I can explain the original story through PM.

[johnthebaptist]

35 minutes ago, mlssufan01 said:

I believe I've posted before regarding this subject, involving a major falling out with a pastor's family from an AofG church some time ago long story short they broke off their friendship with me and would only allow me back in a limited capacity, despite not knowing if I did anything wrong and their family coming to me and insulting me directly...But I noticed the mother of the family, also a pastor of the church, liked my recent facebook post--basically in the post I basically just shared a thank you to the local reformed baptist church I had been attending over the past 1.5 years that was honestly one of the better churches I've attended. But her liking this bothered me. I have always been open to working things out. While I don't think we necessarily have to go back to the way things were, I also think the Bible calls us to reconcile with fellow believers as long as we're repentant. It just makes it hard when I keep seeing their name pop up but I'm at a loss for what to do or say. If I need to move on, I can't when I see their names on my screen. If they're willing to sort this out, I can't because I've already reached out twice before with no resolution and don't want to come off as harassing. I have no idea how I should regard them...as fellow brothers/sisters in Christ as well as an authority figure or false teacher. I dearly loved them, but this whole situation has completely shattered me left and right and I don't know what to do.
If need be, I can explain the original story through PM.

It sounds like you have found a new church. I don't know if there is any reason for you to look back.

Edited December 26, 2019 by johnthebaptist

[mlssufan01]

Just now, johnthebaptist said:

It sounds like you have found a new church. I don't know if there is any reason for you to look back.

Well, I did, but I've moved so am looking for a new one again.  In either case, just because I don't attend their church doesn't mean we can't reconcile or make peace.

[johnthebaptist]

Just now, mlssufan01 said:

Well, I did, but I've moved so am looking for a new one again.  In either case, just because I don't attend their church doesn't mean we can't reconcile or make peace.

If you want to reconcile, go ahead. On the other hand, if they hurt you once, will they do it again?

[mlssufan01]

2 hours ago, johnthebaptist said:

If you want to reconcile, go ahead. On the other hand, if they hurt you once, will they do it again?

I want to, they don't...I believe people can repent and change...sometimes this plays out differently...but Paul makes it clear:  Shall we go on sinning, that grace may abound?  By no means!  This is the essence of repentance..to turn from our wicked ways..not as a means of salvation, but as evidence of our salvation.

[BeauJangles]

How do I deal with my previous church/friend/pastor's family

5 hours ago, johnthebaptist said:

If you want to reconcile, go ahead. On the other hand, if they hurt you once, will they do it again?

 

3 hours ago, mlssufan01 said:

I want to, they don't...I believe people can repent and change...sometimes this plays out differently...but Paul makes it clear:  Shall we go on sinning, that grace may abound?  By no means!  This is the essence of repentance..to turn from our wicked ways..not as a means of salvation, but as evidence of our salvation.

Even the Apostle Paul and Barnabas had an eventual parting of the ways. We can't control the obstiant way some churches and how the congregants respond. I believe you already have answered your own question. 

[appy]

From previous conversations at length with you before on this, I am not buying the story that the mother clicked on any “like” button.

When you first brought this family up in the chatroom a couple of years ago. You told us in chat yourself, that the the pastor of this family at the one church told you specifically and directly that you were not to phone text or chat online with this pastor's or father of said children who were then minors. You, yourself told folks in chat, that the pastor told you to drop the matter multiple times and to leave them alone. As a parent of said children, it is his right. You were very upset with the parents for cutting off your ability to chat with their kids without the parents being present. The reason I remember your conversation so well is because you brought it up a lot for a long time and it was discussed at length each time with multiple of people.

That family is NOT obligated to associate with you in any way shape or form. You had numerous people telling you in chat, that you should abide by their wishes, and not have contact with that family, simply because the family asked you to leave them alone.  It was also recommended that you change church's since you were so bothered by it.

[Neighbor]

4 hours ago, appy said:

the pastor told you to drop the matter multiple times and to leave them alone. As a parent of said children, it is his right. You were very upset with the parents for cutting off your ability to chat with their kids without the parents being present.

Seems very clear. Being told to stay away  from someone's kids, should be heeded at all costs, and never ever violated.  

Circumstances do not matter a bit, just stay away, that is the testimony to be giving.

[appy]

11 hours ago, mlssufan01 said:

I want to, they don't...I believe people can repent and change...sometimes this plays out differently...but Paul makes it clear:  Shall we go on sinning, that grace may abound?  By no means!  This is the essence of repentance..to turn from our wicked ways..not as a means of salvation, but as evidence of our salvation.

I agree with you that people can be truly repentant and change. And it is a very good thing. The other party is not here to give us their side of the story. A parent's first and foremost responsibility as a parent is to uphold their children's safety and well being. That is their job. From past conversations with you, I think it is safe to assume there is a lot more to the story than you have shared overall, and the severance had more to do with the parents feeling that the relationship between you and their kids was going in the direction of being unhealthy, with no improvement in sight than them simply being wronged. And they set up a boundary that is in theirs and your best interest which you objected to back then and are still objecting to today. The best thing for you to do at this point is for you to move on.

[mlssufan01]

13 hours ago, appy said:

From previous conversations at length with you before on this, I am not buying the story that the mother clicked on any “like” button.

When you first brought this family up in the chatroom a couple of years ago. You told us in chat yourself, that the the pastor of this family at the one church told you specifically and directly that you were not to phone text or chat online with this pastor's or father of said children who were then minors. You, yourself told folks in chat, that the pastor told you to drop the matter multiple times and to leave them alone. As a parent of said children, it is his right. You were very upset with the parents for cutting off your ability to chat with their kids without the parents being present. The reason I remember your conversation so well is because you brought it up a lot for a long time and it was discussed at length each time with multiple of people.

That family is NOT obligated to associate with you in any way shape or form. You had numerous people telling you in chat, that you should abide by their wishes, and not have contact with that family, simply because the family asked you to leave them alone.  It was also recommended that you change church's since you were so bothered by it.

Once again...I have NOT contacted them in any way shape or form.  THEY are the ones doing the liking and commenting, NOT me.