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Should a husband leave his wife for having an emotional affair that included the exchange of inappropriate text messages?


ReneeIW

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8 hours ago, BeauJangles said:

Well, I certainly am. So was my former spouse that passed away. But she backslid obviously, and took to the lust of the flesh. This online lover of hers poisoned her mind's cognitive reasoning, and she was incticed by the devil. It basically came down to that, and it happens to ALL marriages that fall into failure. God cannot be held responsible for our refusal to yield to His will for our lives. Yes, they are one flesh in the eyes of the Lord, but BOTH have to follow through with the program set according to the gospel. Thanks for allowing me to get this out, and express how things can fall apart even in a Christian marriage. 

Thanks for sharing. Sorry to hear something like that happened in your marriage.

This hits something that I have been pondering about lately. 
Quote: "BOTH have to follow through with the program set according to the gospel"
I have understood from the bible, that this is only possible when we are born again. 
When we have received the Helper, the Holy Spirit. Then we are able to do God's will.

I understand that we can fall, but the ones who has the Holy Spirit will stand up again and persevere, isn't it? If we have received the Holy Spirit and it will help us in our sanctification process. How far can a christian fall back to sin and for how long? Wouldn't the Holy Spirit convict us? Or wouldn't God pull us back?

Edited by Wesley L
pressed enter too soon
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It seems that both are at fault and need to heal.  I hope they are able to truly talk and recommit to each other with Christ at the centre of their union. I hope they can learn to love and treat each other better than themselves and discover more peace than they had before.  

As for divorce, he could. But it would be hard-hearted.  Forgiveness and a stronger marriage, enabled by the Spirit could glorify God. 

Edited by Sam91
Missed a word
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13 hours ago, BeauJangles said:

Should a husband leave his wife for having an emotional affair that included the exchange of inappropriate text messages?

Hi Renee, 

It did happen to me, when I discovered some email messages on my wife's personal computer. Apparently, it had been going on for some time, and it totally crushed me from the inside. And my heart was completely broken at that point. Did I leave her? No, of course not. I tried desperately to save my marriage and made every attempt to allow the Lord to restore it. But my wife was stubborn and absolutely resistant to the Holy Spirit by that time. 

She ended up taking off for a couple of weeks, and actually had an affair with this internet perpetrator. He was a charleton and a liar. My wife did come back, and I was really hoping the prayers and intercessions of the church would finally get through to her. She treated me horribly during the month after she returned, but I kept my hopes up. Everyone continued to pray day and night, and I do know she was fighting conviction. Then one morning I woke up and she had gone. I never heard from her again.

Almost twenty years went by, and one day a mutual friend of ours called me on the phone to tell me my former spouse had passed away. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I fell into a pit of despair. She never remarried, because this guy would lose a good deal of his Social Security Disability Insurance. The dude was an emotional trainwreck and wouldn't even leave the house to seek employment. I hope she made her peace before God, because she certainly made a mockery of our sacred marital vows. 

Shalom, 

David/BeauJangles 

Hi BeauJangles,

I’m sorry this betrayal happened to you. So very sad how some don’t take their vows seriously, don’t think twice about hurting others and never feel any remorse. I hope you were able to fully heal from what you went through with her.

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3 hours ago, other one said:

I've given this a lot of thought since it was posted yesterday and the question is would I leave my spouse...

No I would get down on my knees and beg her forgiveness for being so negligent...   that's what this guy should do....

Thanks to you (and everyone else) for your thoughtful input.❤️

 

Edited by ReneeIW
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1 hour ago, ReneeIW said:

Hi BeauJangles,

I’m sorry this betrayal happened to you. So very sad how some don’t take their vows seriously, don’t think twice about hurting others and never feel any remorse. I hope you were able to fully heal from what you went through with her.

Thanks for the response and comments, Renee. To tell you the truth, I never did quite fully heal from that heart breaking experience. Dreams of her haunted my worst nightmares for years following, and I still cry over it. She was my true love, and there will never be another chance at falling in love again. 

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I would try to work the marriage out. Especially when kids are involved. I got a divorce 16 years ago and it ruined everyone’s lives for a long time. God is gracious and has healed us all, but divorcing was wrong looking back. It’s a destroyer. Forgiveness is a healer. 

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13 hours ago, BeauJangles said:

To tell you the truth, I never did quite fully heal from that heart breaking experience. Dreams of her haunted my worst nightmares for years following, and I still cry over it. She was my true love, and there will never be another chance at falling in love again. 

Dear brother, I empathize with you, ...I have lost everyone I have ever loved, ...present wife excluded, ...what I have learned in those years between the losses and my present wife is the love I was wanting, desiring they couldn't provide for me, ...yes there were wonderful, joy filled times, ...but there were the hard times in the relationship too, ...you say the love of your life has passed away, ...then may I humbly suggest, ...why not have a "funeral" for her, ...she's gone, and since love is eternal, ...place the "loving" memories in a corner of your heart, ...and free the rest of your heart for the One who can fill all of your desires, ...there's no "chance" involved, ...He's right there beside you, ...just waiting to start a life of Love that will go far beyond any human relationship we have ever "experienced." 

May our Lord continually bless you with His Love

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24 minutes ago, JustPassingThru said:

May our Lord continually bless you with His Love

Thank you, brother. That really means a lot to me. God bless you also!

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1 hour ago, BeauJangles said:

Thank you, brother. That really means a lot to me. God bless you also!

Beau I am sorry about what happened.  Praying for you brother! 

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