Seeking Guidance on Common Law Marriage

[Behold]

15 hours ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

 

No. There is no a head of the household. The feminine and the masculine each have unique gifts and challenges. Neither the masculine or feminine is more or less important than the other. There are times when each must carry the other and times when each should submit to the other. 

LOL. Yes! There is nature in the divine order regarding the magnitude of how the sexes relate naturally and it is often misrepresented as men thinking that their unique perspectives and gifts are more important than women's and also the laughably absurd position that they are  qualified to speak to or define the role of the feminine.

What you have written does express the most common interpretation of the original text.

Will you also read this? Please.   https://liferotp.com/acblog/2015/8/20/6-the-ezer-kenegdo . It is another Christian interpretation of the original text. 

 

Thanks for your response.

Because im a bible believer,  i want to abide by its Revelation regarding order.  God is a Spiritual being who  is not connected to chaos or confusion or dishonesty. So, when you find confusion in culture, confusion in nature, confusion in yourself,  you are not finding the Divine order or the Divine Light or harmony with GOD, which is why the confusion exists and rules.  

So, you are a feminist.  Im not.  Im a bible believer who understands that what God says regarding order, is my answer.   So, if God says that the Man was made 1st, and the woman made to be the helper of the man, then i understand this as order.  I do not recognize this order as "the woman is the servant and the Tyrant is now her master".  When God says that the man is to support his family, then i recognize that He is establishing an order within the supply chain, that is first and foremost the Husband's responsibility, that does not eliminate the wife's responsibility to help.

When God looks at us, He only looks at us through the eternal eyes of perfect unconditional Love.  Jesus on the Cross is God's love gift to you @FeministWhoLovesABeliever  . Jesus is God's final and only offer as the only Way you can truly be with Him here, and in eternity. There is no other God and there is no other Son sent to die on a Cross so that you can be a part of God's family.  And as i told you last time i wrote to you, ...you were born into your family down here and Jesus says that you "Must be born again" to become a born again part of God's heavenly Family.   Your spirit is going to live forever.  And you get to choose down here where you are going to exist forever, after you die.  So...Choose well down here, as God will respect your Free Will choice after you die.   I promise you that.  He will respect your Free Will decision in the end.

A family consists of 2 people, a man and a woman.  A perverted society presents their vision of family as any two who are  "of age of consent" who are sexually active together and joined by a ring, = is a family.    God does not recognize this as a family, He recognizes this as a sex act. Also,  God only recognizes homosexuality as a continued lifelong addiction to same gender sex acts, which defines the people.   And He defines a sex act outside of marriage as not in divine "order", not moral, and sinful.

God is really big on morality, and people are really big on sinning.   So, thats always a problem.  And because people are so in love with sinning, they want to get rid of God so that they can hopefully feel no sting of conscious.  Yet, the conscious cannot lie and will always tell you the truth, (if its active) and that Truth is God's morality that is built into us all.    Can you sin darken the conscience until you no more feel its cry and it resistance to immoral conduct?.....Yes you can.  The bible calls this "searing" the Conscience and there is no way back from that "dead"  line once it has been crossed in the human heart.

 

 

thans for the link.

 

 

God answers prayer,

 

B

Edited May 1, 2020 by Behold

[FeministWhoLovesABeliever]

19 hours ago, Debp said:

Highlighting the above in case Feminist overlooked it.  Yes, the above is the correct explanation I've heard from a pastor.

Also, about slavery....many Christians have fought and continue to fight against slavery.   The story of William Wilberforce is quite moving...he literally gave his life in fighting slavery in the U.K.   Many Christians also helped runaway slaves to escape and find freedom in the Northern U.S.A.

The following article explains the difference between slavery in Bible times, and racial slavery in more recent times.

https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-slavery.html

Absolutely. Christians have and continue to do wonderful work in the world! 

The article you linked to said "Another crucial point is that the purpose of the Bible is to point the way to salvation, not to reform society." But it seems to me that much of Christ's work was the reformation of society and that if we are to aspire to be like Christ, we should do the same. . 

I think the article is wrong to downplay slavery in biblical times. Jesus came to make right much of what the old testimate depicted, which was slavery: Lot giving virgin daughters, Abraham casting out the bondwoman and her son, the idea that as long as slaves live a day or two after a beating it is ok to beat them. Israelites were slaves to the Egyptians.

I respect other people's right to believe that accepting Jesus is the most important teaching of the bible. But I suspect that the highlighting of such acceptance was the result of people who controlled the scriptures, people who had reason to downplay scriptures rebellion of systems and control. I think that the most profound praise that we can give God is to cherish and protect her creation. I think that self-soothing ourselves with expectations of salvation while condoning horrific acts,  like separating immigrant children from their parents, is disrespectful to God. 

Other's might be right that God wants, more than anything, for me to accept Christ as my savior. But I may be right that scripture like this is more important: 

"Cursed is anyone who withholds justice from the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow." Deuteronomy 27:19

This is what the LORD says: Do what is just and right. Rescue from the hand of the oppressor the one who has been robbed. Do no wrong or violence to the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place. Jeremiah 22:3-5 

 

“You shall not hand over to his master a slave who has escaped from his master to you. He shall live with you in your midst, in the place which he shall choose in one of your towns where it pleases him; you shall not mistreat him. Deuteronomy 23:15-16

He who oppresses the poor taunts his Maker,But he who is gracious to the needy honors Him. Proverbs 14:31

 

 

[FeministWhoLovesABeliever]

On 4/30/2020 at 4:37 AM, LonerAndy said:

I'm not sure that it's the only answer. The people on this forum appear to be much more "hard core" than other Christians and pastors that I've spoken to. But it is an answer that I'm willing to explore, which is why I'm  here. 

I'm not sure what you mean by hard core.  After all, we're just posting what the Bible clearly says.  You yourself posted the verse saying believers should not be unequally yoked to non-believers.   That's pretty clear cut.  If you are a Christian, then you are not to be with non-Christians.

Yes. The bible says that. It also says "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." Mark 10:9 and that believing spouses should not leave unbelievers.  I'm mostly told here that lack of a wedding ceremony means that these two passages don't apply to us. But I haven't yet found or been shown scripture that demonstrates a wedding is required. (I fully agree that it would have been the biblically correct thing to do 9 years ago. But we can't go back in time. 

This article says that for the first 1k years of Christianity, most Christians didn't get married in the church. That it wasn't until 1215 that the church formally defined marriage. 

On 4/30/2020 at 4:37 AM, LonerAndy said:

Obviously, if you spend your time looking for a pastor who will tell you what you want to hear, eventually you'll find one that says something that contradicts the Bible.  There are crazy people who claim to be Christians.  Branch Davidians Waco Texas, 1993.

Yes. Two christian sides, each claiming the other is crazy to claim to be Christian. 

On 4/30/2020 at 4:37 AM, LonerAndy said:

I appreciate your honesty. What do you think God would want a Christian man to do with a woman with whom he had spent 9 years pledging a lifelong relationship and assuring her that it was blessed by God? 

Oh I wish I had read this to start with.  This is hard on me.   So a Christian man, spent 9 years living with a woman he was not married to, and was telling her that this was blessed by G-d.

I want to double check.  Because if what you just wrote is accurate then this explains a lot. Everything I am about to write, I need you to understand that it is only accurate, as far as what you wrote is accurate, because this is going to be a bit brutal.

Yes. It is accurate. 

On 4/30/2020 at 4:37 AM, LonerAndy said:

1 Corinthians 6:9 says the following "Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God."

You'll notice the word Fornicators.

Nobody is without sin. Christ came to take that sin on. Many Christians are drunkards, revilers, coveters etc. while claiming entitlement of salvation.  

On 4/30/2020 at 4:37 AM, LonerAndy said:

Along with all the others that are mentioned, the Bible specifically points out that people who sleep with those they are not married to, are not part of the Kingdom of God.    Fornication, sleeping with people you are not married to, is explicitly prohibited in the Bible.  It is a clear sin, and a Christian is not to engage in that.   There is nothing ambiguous about it.

Whether or not it's a sin, 80% of evangelicals have had premarital sex. Are they also to be rejected from the Kingdom of God? 

On 4/30/2020 at 4:37 AM, LonerAndy said:

Then you have the verse which you mentioned earlier about being unequally yoked.  I won't post it again, but clearly a Christian has no business whatsoever being with a non-Christian.

So second point is, this man is directly violating the prohibition of Christians being involved with non-Christians.

On top of these clearly defined evils that he is engaging in, the man additionally is saying that this evil he is engaged in, is blessed by G-d.

Jesus himself, responded to such things....

Luke 6:46 Jesus says directly "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?"

What % of Christians, do you think, do everything God instructs of them? 

The question remains, what would God want a Christian man to do with me, today, given our 10 years of history?  

On 4/30/2020 at 4:37 AM, LonerAndy said:

Let me ask you something...  if I tell you I am a Vegan, does that make me a Vegan?  If you find me eating a steak, and I say I'm a Vegan... am I a Vegan?    No, I'm not a Vegan.  My actions determine what I am.  I can say anything I want, but I'm not a Vegan, if I'm eating steak and sausage, and Chicken sandwiches.

I think that your analogy backfired on you. . . .

If being Christian is about actions, for example loving God and others, turning the cheek when someone slaps you, and

"The foreigners residing among you must be treated as native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the Lord your God.—Leviticus 19:34

Than I am more Christian than many who claim that they are. (But not nearly as Christian as I aspire to be.) 

But if being Christian is about proclamation, than I am not and my husband is. 

On 4/30/2020 at 4:37 AM, LonerAndy said:

What did Jesus say about people who claim to be Christian, but never follow the teachings of the Bible?

Matthew 7:22

"Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'"

You are not a Christian, if you don't live out being a Christian, and know the Lord.

So here is my conclusion, and I'll leave you with this.

Based on what you have told me about this man in your life, he is not a Christian at all.  He's not living like a Christian.  Not acting like a Christian.  And he is saying that things are blessed by G-d, that are clearly defined as evil, and prohibited by G-d.

This explains why your relationship has worked so far.  Two non-Christian people, doing whatever they want.   You have separate finances for example.  Christians generally don't do that.  Combining finances is part of "two become one".   You guys are not following that aspect of Christian teaching either.

So what would I suggest?   Well since neither of you are Christians, you can do whatever you want.  What I would suggest to him, and you for that matter is.... Find the Lord.  Turn your lives over to G-d.  He needs to do that, just as much as you do.  Neither of you are living like Christians at all.  He doesn't have something you don't.   Neither of you have it.

He has turned his life over to God. What isn't clear is what God wants him to do with the person with whom, for 10 years, he professed and took actions with that were based on the mutual understanding that our relationship is sacred and that we are intended for each other in this life and beyond? 

On 4/30/2020 at 4:37 AM, LonerAndy said:

So... find G-d.  Find G-d together if you can.  As for what you should do in this relationship...  I don't know, now.   The Bible doesn't give rules for how non-Christians should live, and both of you are non-Christians.

Find G-d.   That's all I have to offer.

Thanks for your offerings. I believe that I have found God and that she is not different than the God he is relationship with. I am interested in learning more about his knowing of God and scripture but not in denying my own relationship with God. 

[FeministWhoLovesABeliever]

On 4/30/2020 at 11:49 PM, Blood Bought 1953 said:

You May find it interesting to hear about “ Lydia” , the seller of Purple ( an indication of wealth ) and her Salvation .......She was listening to the preaching of Paul, apparently not getting much out of it and then the Bible says that “ God opened her heart” and she then was able to understand what was being said and received Salvation....

Even Peter in his recognition of Jesus as being God in Flesh, did not come to this conclusion until the Holy Spirit revealed it to Him......

The initiative for Salvation is God’s , not ours......God does not need us and we can add nothing to Him.....it is only by His Mercy and Grace that anybody gets Saved.....Jesus speaking here.... “ No man comes to me lest the Spirit draw them”

Yes. I am ready! I am trying! 

On 4/30/2020 at 11:49 PM, Blood Bought 1953 said:

If you come to be a Born-Again Believer, and I believe that you will- you are very close to it I am convinced, and I pray for you many times a day.......yes, if you become a Believer , you will be no different from Lydia or Peter - it will only be because gifted you by “ opening your heart”.....I pray that this happens! May God Bless you in your understanding of these things.... 

 

Thank you. Opening my heart is exactly what I'm looking for. 

 <3

[FeministWhoLovesABeliever]

On 5/1/2020 at 9:27 AM, Behold said:

Thanks for your response.

Because im a bible believer,  i want to abide by its Revelation regarding order.  God is a Spiritual being who  is not connected to chaos or confusion or dishonesty. So, when you find confusion in culture, confusion in nature, confusion in yourself,  you are not finding the Divine order or the Divine Light or harmony with GOD, which is why the confusion exists and rules.  

So, you are a feminist.  Im not.  Im a bible believer who understands that what God says regarding order, is my answer.   So, if God says that the Man was made 1st, and the woman made to be the helper of the man, then i understand this as order.  I do not recognize this order as "the woman is the servant and the Tyrant is now her master".  When God says that the man is to support his family, then i recognize that He is establishing an order within the supply chain, that is first and foremost the Husband's responsibility, that does not eliminate the wife's responsibility to help.

Did you read the article about the word "helper"? 

I think that we agree that male and female are not the same. And I hear you say that, as a good Christian man, you are responsible for the family. I think that, when both partners agree, this can be a beautiful family relationship. But there are many examples of this not happening, of men that are tyrants and women who are treated as servants. To me, equality and feminism are about preventing that. 

On 5/1/2020 at 9:27 AM, Behold said:

When God looks at us, He only looks at us through the eternal eyes of perfect unconditional Love.  Jesus on the Cross is God's love gift to you @FeministWhoLovesABeliever  . Jesus is God's final and only offer as the only Way you can truly be with Him here, and in eternity. There is no other God and there is no other Son sent to die on a Cross so that you can be a part of God's family.  And as i told you last time i wrote to you, ...you were born into your family down here and Jesus says that you "Must be born again" to become a born again part of God's heavenly Family.   Your spirit is going to live forever.  And you get to choose down here where you are going to exist forever, after you die.  So...Choose well down here, as God will respect your Free Will choice after you die.   I promise you that.  He will respect your Free Will decision in the end.

 

On 5/1/2020 at 9:27 AM, Behold said:

God is really big on morality, and people are really big on sinning.   So, thats always a problem.  And because people are so in love with sinning, they want to get rid of God so that they can hopefully feel no sting of conscious.  Yet, the conscious cannot lie and will always tell you the truth, (if its active) and that Truth is God's morality that is built into us all.    Can you sin darken the conscience until you no more feel its cry and it resistance to immoral conduct?.....Yes you can.  The bible calls this "searing" the Conscience and there is no way back from that "dead"  line once it has been crossed in the human heart.

The term "searing" makes sense to me. I don't want to get rid of God. To me, accepting that God will only accept those of his creations that are Christian results in a " sting of consciousness." I believe God wants me to love and accept others, not to coerce their beliefs or to judge them. I think that this perspective is reflected in scripture, just not in those passages that most most Christians choose to focus on. 

On 5/1/2020 at 9:27 AM, Behold said:

thans for the link.

Did you look at it? i'm curious to hear what you think. 

On 5/1/2020 at 9:27 AM, Behold said:

God answers prayer,

I'm praying!

 

Thanks for taking the time to respond. 

[BeauJangles]

1 hour ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

Thanks for taking the time to respond. 

I went over your opening post and pondered the subject matter of the situation. It was pretty easy to understand and obviously there were numerous and excellent entries of advice and responses. Here we are sixteen pages later. That's a lot of time consuming efforts on the entire forum. A really wonderful expression of stewardship, everyone.

So my questions to you now are as following. Why are you still are reluctant to accept Jesus as your Saviour and Lord? What's the problem and why are you procrastinating? None of us have a promise for tomorrow, so why risk your eternal soul? Hasn't anyone been convincing enough for you? I certainly think so. These things are what I'm wondering.  

P.S. The idea of spending Eternity forever apart from your beloved seems dreadful to me.  

Edited May 3, 2020 by BeauJangles

[Coliseum]

2 minutes ago, BeauJangles said:

I went over your opening post and pondered the subject matter of the situation. It was pretty easy to understand and obviously there were numerous and excellent entries of advice and responses. Here we are sixteen pages later. That's a lot of time consuming efforts on the entire forum. Wonderful stewardship, everyone.

So my questions to you now are as following. Why are you still are reluctant to accept Jesus as your Saviour and Lord? What's the problem and why are you procrastinating? None of us have a promise for tomorrow, so why risk your eternal soul? Hasn't anyone been convincing enough for you? I certainly think so. Just wondering. 

P.S. The idea of spending Eternity forever apart from your beloved seems dreadful to me.  

Perhaps it is given to another to share their testimony, and God may use it. In the end, no man can convince anyone of the truth. It is the old analogy of planting the seed, watering it and fertilizing it, and giving it sunlight---but only God can make it grow. We are charged in fact with doing those very things, but it is there our role stops. Beyond that it is a supernatural act by the Spirit of God to regenerate a man. To those nudged to pray, they should obey their consciences.

Hope you are doing well brother.

[BeauJangles]

2 hours ago, Coliseum said:

Perhaps it is given to another to share their testimony, and God may use it. In the end, no man can convince anyone of the truth. It is the old analogy of planting the seed, watering it and fertilizing it, and giving it sunlight---but only God can make it grow. We are charged in fact with doing those very things, but it is there our role stops. Beyond that it is a supernatural act by the Spirit of God to regenerate a man. To those nudged to pray, they should obey their consciences.

Hope you are doing well brother.

Thank you, brother. I'll admit to having a really rough go here as of late. Of course all these posts of witness and sharing are vital. There's no disagreement on that whatsoever. But the time is drawing near and I believe in my heart that it's "altar call time". Yep. The The message is clear. Come to Jesus now. Why delay any further? Just a reminder, we don't have tomorrow's promise. We do have hope for eternity in Heaven. So again, it's time. 

[FeministWhoLovesABeliever]

3 hours ago, BeauJangles said:

I went over your opening post and pondered the subject matter of the situation. It was pretty easy to understand and obviously there were numerous and excellent entries of advice and responses. Here we are sixteen pages later. That's a lot of time consuming efforts on the entire forum. A really wonderful expression of stewardship, everyone.

So my questions to you now are as following. Why are you still are reluctant to accept Jesus as your Saviour and Lord? What's the problem and why are you procrastinating? None of us have a promise for tomorrow, so why risk your eternal soul? Hasn't anyone been convincing enough for you? I certainly think so. These things are what I'm wondering.  

P.S. The idea of spending Eternity forever apart from your beloved seems dreadful to me.  

I'm drawn to Jesus and to scripture now but remain morally against what appears to be required of me to be identified as Christian, which is to agree that rapists, killers, and abusers who accept Jesus deserve heaven,  while people who earnestly seek God and believe that they have found her outside of Christianity deserve hell.  I think this perspective is the epitome of the 7 sins, that it is not Christ like or God like. On the cross, Jesus begged God to forgive those who didn't believe, those who had hurt him. To the extent that Christ and scripture can help me to be more like that, I accept Christ and would like to learn more. 

[FeministWhoLovesABeliever]

On 5/1/2020 at 12:59 AM, Justin Adams said:

Have you seen the book UNSEEN REALM by Dr. Heiser. His videos are on YouTube so it might be worth a look for you to more fully understand the scriptures.

Blessings.

Yes. Someone here suggested it to me. I watched a you tube video about it. It was great! It's the sort of thing that I, if my husband and I are able to explore scripture together, I would really enjoy reading with him. Thank you!