If You Wish You Didn’t Exist

[Starise]

On 2/15/2021 at 7:27 PM, Don19 said:

I realize now, unlike ever before, that I have sinned against the Lord. Horribly. I am really despondent. Drowning myself in too much beer now. I really wish I could just go right now and be with the Lord.

@Don19 The sin is behind you as a Christian. Yes we are all still a work in progress. Just keep in mind that everything from here on out is moving us closer to the Lord. We are on a positive upwardly mobile track even when it doesn't seem that way to us.

The Lord forgives sin. All sin. The fact that your heart is heavy over sin is evidence God is working on you.

Paul said, " To live is Christ, to die is gain". Meaning our life here is never fruitless or meaningless when God is in control. I think Paul was looking at life this way: He would do everything he could for Christ while here. When his time came to die, he was ready and realized it as GAIN. Both life and death for the Christian are beneficial. Life in Christ here on this earth has a real and important purpose.

David said, " This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." David made a decision to see the good in what God was doing with him while on this earth through faith in Him.

It is easy in this time to see life as all negative. I think God is doing some amazing things through his followers behind the scenes.

[Whyme]

2 corinthians 1:8 

For we would not have you ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia: that we were pressed beyond measure, beyond strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life.

[Marathoner]

In hindsight this might have been the better place to write some of what I shared in my testimony, though the detail of those memories which come this time of year wouldn't be needful. The anniversary approaches and so the Lord comforts me, but until my appointed time comes I will never forget. This was the time of year when everything happened:

The criminals who terrified my friend fled, never to be seen again.
The illness began and I wasted away for two years.
When the Spirit of the Lord came to me on the verge of death at the conclusion of those two years...
And when my dear friend passed from this world. 

Yes, I know she is with the Lord but the memories remain. They come, over and over again and so I endure, letting them run their course. I still weep for her sake because I couldn't stand between her and the sepsis which claimed her life. It happened so swiftly. 

I could stand between her and evil men but I was powerless to do anything for her in the ICU. All I could do was pray without ceasing but it was her time... I still weep for her even though it was long ago. 

[Henry_iain]

thanks 

[Regenerated-Adult]

"I have come to give you live, and to give it to you more abundantly".  The concept of Christian suicide is an oxymoron!

[Henry_iain]

I don't want to start a debate here and this is not the primary purpose of this particular  post either. But I note that the post above is over-simplified and in tone seems to miss the point of this thread. Maybe I'm wrong. 

This thread is titled "If You Wished You Didn't Exist" Notice it does not say "if you want to kill yourself."

However.

Recently I myself was confronted with the thought that I would wish to "depart and be with Christ." For many reasons. 

Sometimes life can take you to that place, no matter how long you have been a Christian. Wanting to die is not the same thing as wanting to take your own life. 

But God is really good and I rediscovered this during my time away. I had some wonderful revelations of his love for me. Not that it necessarily make the feelings go away. But, for me, it helped me decide that if God still loves me as I am, I could face anything. 

I thank God for a thread like this where people who are in this place can come without being judged. Where they can be encouraged. It can really help sometimes. 

Do continue to share your stories.  And let us love the members of our body that are  hurting, because if one part hurts, we all hurt. 

I read this well known meme today. I think it's true: Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always. 

That's the challenge .

[Marathoner]

The Lord bless you, @Henry_iain. It's good to hear from you, brother. 

As for myself, I sought to take my own life in the past convinced that the Lord despised me. Later on, I longed to depart this world and be with the Lord in fullness for there were things which seemed impossible to bear. 

The Lord never chastised me, not once, for our Savior is acquainted with suffering and grief. Indeed, our Father in heaven has regard for the afflicted as the scriptures testify. 

It is most unfortunate when one arrives to condemn the suffering in such a way to magnify their grief. This is not what we are called upon to do. Weep with those who weep, encourage them as the Lord encourages us, and above all, be their friend with mercy and understanding.

[Fidei Defensor]

Many are feeling despair and thoughts of suicide during the lock downs. 

It is important to remember that others have faced times like ours, Europe was in the shadow of the Black Plague. Africa has had Ebola.

We are not alone. 

Edited March 3, 2021 by Fidei Defensor

[Henry_iain]

Wonderful to see you again Fidei Defensor. Great post as always. You were missed. 

[Fidei Defensor]

18 minutes ago, Chicken coop2 said:

Amen. 

And welcome back. 

                

Thanks for the welcome back.