Cleaning lady dilemma

[Thewhitedove]

I have 3 young children and need help in the home. Our previous cleaner was great: reasonable price and great at her job but lives too far away to make it worth her while.

I also need a new church as the previous one has dissolved for various reasons. It was great too. 

Last Sunday I went to a church on my street. It's a worldwide 'chain' and has been set up for a certain nationality which I'm not part of, which is why I never went before. I popped in for some info and they said they could do the sermon in English to accommodate me. They were all so happy to see me and so welcoming. They called me up to the front to pray for me. They were all very excited I was there and they said it was clearly God's plan for me to have been there.

I feel very suffocated if there is an expectation to become a part of a church and to commit to it. Its between me and God. So last week I was happy to check it out but decided I would come back another time in the vague future. 

While there, the pastor's wife asked if I needed any help in the home (when I told her I've 3 kids) as she does cleaning. I wasn't sure, as this felt like I would be getting a bit too tied in with the church without fully researching it.

However, when I told my husband he said we needed help and she was our only option currently. So I asked her to  come to clean our apartment for 3 hours. She charges 1/3 more than other previous cleaner so I asked her to  one for fewer hours.

When she arrived I realised I'd left my purse in the car which my husband took to work. She said that was no problem: I could give her the money on Sunday at church and how often did I want her to  lean my home so she could organise her diary accordingly. I said maybe monthly but I had to check with my husband.

I had a bad feeling about it from the start. Well, she did an OK job and just over 2 hours later, said she couldn't finish cleaning as she had an appointment (she had already told me she had to go to the hospital afterwards but I didn't realise when!). So she just left two rooms and the hallway dirty 🤔 

Anyway I'm going to put it down to experience, appreciate the fact that I don't have to do the cleaning she did, and pay her on Sunday.

I don't want to commit to this church and I don't want to commit to the pastor's wife cleaning my apartment! How can I get out of this in a Godly way? 

 

[BK1110]

Just be honest. Their expectations are on them. Go or don't go, hire her or don't hire her.

I'd also be more proactive in researching the church. Ask them for a statement of faith. Try to find out what they believe and teach on key issues like the trinity, salvation, the inspiration and infallibility of scripture, etc.

[LearningToLetGo]

8 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

I don't want to commit to this church and I don't want to commit to the pastor's wife cleaning my apartment! How can I get out of this in a Godly way? 

You have no obligation to this church or this woman. If you feel uncomfortable then just say so. Don't worry about offending anyone. If these people are sincere they will understand.

[kwikphilly]

Blessings whitedove

On 6/9/2022 at 4:53 AM, Thewhitedove said:

How can I get out of this in a Godly way? 

As in anything(BK said it too)-be honest.Firstly,it sounds like they may be a little too presumptuous in your perception ,I doubt I would have agreed to the Pastors wife coming over to clean if I didnt think I was going back to that church,I think you put yourself in an uncomfortable position....do you agree?

   Anyway,it doesnt matter what you shoulda,coulda or woulda -lol But perhaps this will help you to avoid any future predictanents.The fact is you left off on a good note having said nothing derogatory regarding how she left your house half finished & you looked at the positive side of it,which was it is half finished!

   So now you are obligated to Sunday just because you have to pay her,you can either sit through the service you do not wish to attend(& it might be good to give it one more try?) or arrive when it is over and say that you just stopped by to give her the money you owe her......if you are asked about attending in the future you can simply say "well see" if you are going to consider it ," I doubt it" if you dont think so  and if if there is a possibility then say " I might return,I am unsure".....ALWAYS SAY WHAT YOU MEAN & MEAN WHAT YOU SAY,thats what the Word of God Says" Let your yes be yes & your no be no"

Quote

But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
Matt 5:37

I dont like to assume but its highly likely the Pastors wife will ask you about coming back to clean ,be honest......you did mention she is 1/3 higher in price than your previous cleaner,tell her .If she lowered the price would you want her services?Did she do a good job with what she dis get done......When hiring anyone you must first tell them what you expect from them for X amount,thats how it is done.......If both parties agree on the price and the terms then you try them out,if they do a good job-HIRED!And you can always ask for a "will call" option. If not....."thank you very much I'll be making other arrangements"Thats my take) 

Now,I saved this for last because it is FIRST and the most important in any decision making...

Quote

Proverbs 3:5-6

 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

                                                                           With love-in Christ<kwik

[missmuffet]

On 6/9/2022 at 1:53 AM, Thewhitedove said:

I have 3 young children and need help in the home. Our previous cleaner was great: reasonable price and great at her job but lives too far away to make it worth her while.

I also need a new church as the previous one has dissolved for various reasons. It was great too. 

Last Sunday I went to a church on my street. It's a worldwide 'chain' and has been set up for a certain nationality which I'm not part of, which is why I never went before. I popped in for some info and they said they could do the sermon in English to accommodate me. They were all so happy to see me and so welcoming. They called me up to the front to pray for me. They were all very excited I was there and they said it was clearly God's plan for me to have been there.

I feel very suffocated if there is an expectation to become a part of a church and to commit to it. Its between me and God. So last week I was happy to check it out but decided I would come back another time in the vague future. 

While there, the pastor's wife asked if I needed any help in the home (when I told her I've 3 kids) as she does cleaning. I wasn't sure, as this felt like I would be getting a bit too tied in with the church without fully researching it.

However, when I told my husband he said we needed help and she was our only option currently. So I asked her to  come to clean our apartment for 3 hours. She charges 1/3 more than other previous cleaner so I asked her to  one for fewer hours.

When she arrived I realised I'd left my purse in the car which my husband took to work. She said that was no problem: I could give her the money on Sunday at church and how often did I want her to  lean my home so she could organise her diary accordingly. I said maybe monthly but I had to check with my husband.

I had a bad feeling about it from the start. Well, she did an OK job and just over 2 hours later, said she couldn't finish cleaning as she had an appointment (she had already told me she had to go to the hospital afterwards but I didn't realise when!). So she just left two rooms and the hallway dirty 🤔 

Anyway I'm going to put it down to experience, appreciate the fact that I don't have to do the cleaning she did, and pay her on Sunday.

I don't want to commit to this church and I don't want to commit to the pastor's wife cleaning my apartment! How can I get out of this in a Godly way? 

 

You do not have to commit to this Church or to the Pastor's wife. Just tell her kindly that you have found someone else to clean your house. I definitely would give this dilemma to God in prayer. 

[Thewhitedove]

Thanks everyone. I paid her and never went back to the church. I also found out she isn't the pastor's wife! I don't want her back and she hasn't asked to return either!

[MomBearTo4]

Dear one,

 

When I have had to look for a church and the type of church I want is not common, I have made a relatively short list of maybe 8 to 10, as it happened, questions that are important to determine the "flavor"not of the church but not time consuming to answer, such as " what seminary did you graduate from," " what Bible version do you preach out of," " what Bible college would you recommend that a high school graduate attend for college," and the like.  Then call the church office of the church I'm thinking about and ask for a 20 minute appointment to ask those questions.  It's very important to ask completely neutral questions : " what is your stand on xxx issue," "rather than " do you agree with you position on xxx issue" to find out exactly how the pastor feels.  I always felt that my questions gave me a good feel for where the pastor was coming from and his doctrinal persuasion, so I didn't waste my time trying out churches that I was almost immediately sorry I had visited.