As you can guess from my name, I'm pretty close to losing my faith.

[HAZARD]

Don't let our adversary win.
The following passages reveal that providence is working toward the final end and
that there is a special providence for saints that is not enjoyed by sinners
(Ps. 34:7-10; 37:1-12, 23-28; Prov. 3:6; Mt. 6:33; Rom. 8:28). Saints so
often take sickness, accidents, financial loss, and other adversities as
manifestations of providence, but the fact is that these things are never the
direct will of God and are never caused directly by God. They are caused by the
evil forces that more or less control the world social order in this period of
rebellion against God on the Earth.

[Debp]

On 4/1/2023 at 8:53 AM, Marathoner said:

It isn't possible to conduct a comprehensive assessment using a medium such as this, my friend. With that in mind --- and assuming that you live in the U.S. --- I'll ask the following questions. 

Do you receive SNAP (formerly known as food stamps) benefits? 

Because you survive on a fixed income, do you participate in the Housing Choice Voucher Program, a.k.a. section 8?

Because of your fixed income, do you participate in cost-control utility programs? Most aren't aware that programs like these exist. These programs cap your utility bill according to your fixed income. 

Because it seems that you receive SSDI (Social Security Disability Insurance), are you also receiving SSI (Supplemental Security Income)?

Do you have a city, state, or county case manager?

Do you receive home care of any kind? I'm referring to routine visits by caregivers.

Does your county or city have a supplemental meal program? For example, the city where I live has a program where workers deliver hot meals to recipients like the elderly and the disabled. Because you receive SSDI and have physical disabilities, you would likely qualify. 

Will that food bank deliver food parcels? Many do. 

That's great information for @LosingFaith I was just thinking of mentioning the SSI.   Apparently it's supplemental income for those with very limited resources.

Also, LosingFaith, the Meals on Wheels also serve disabled younger people.   And they are free if you cannot afford them.   My mom gets them.   

[Debp]

@LosingFaith I see now that you are in the UK.   Hopefully some others in the UK can help with suggestions.   @Justin Adams

I know you are going through a lot and being ill makes it much harder.   But sometimes all we can do is to keep going with the Lord's help.    I have a severely disabled elderly mom and always pray for strength from the Lord to keep going.

[kwikphilly]

On 4/1/2023 at 10:39 AM, LosingFaith said:

Basically, to cut a long story short, I have been very ill for years.  I'm having long-term cancer treatment and have had a stoke, and I'm still only in my 30s.  I'm in chronic pain, partially sighted from the stroke, can't move my left arm or foot properly, and constantly exhausted and brain foggy.  I had to quit my job and university course and go on disability benefits.  It was bad enough living like this and seeing all my hopes an dreams go up in smoke, but now with the cost of living crisis I just can't keep up with my expenses.  After paying my rent and utilities this week, my overdraft is maxxed out and i don't have anything left for food.  All of the places that refer people to food banks are closed for the weekend too.

This is my entire future now.  Nothing to look forward to and constant pain and anxiety.  The advice I've been given by christians are things like "I'm praying for you,"  "have faith," "read your bible and pray" "stay Strong" and even a lot of judgment thrown my way because I'm not being strong enough and not having enough faith, and really infuriating things like "god is testing you" "God is trying to humble you."  These are all a mixture of virtue signalling and judgment.  No moral support, no useful advice about where i can get help, and quite frankly I just don't think I believe any more.  

I am at the stage where i am seriously researching and contemplating taking my own life.  I have been a christian for years and it has never helped me or improved my life in any way.  I am still cold, hungry and desperate and nobody in the church even offers so much as a hug, a genuinely kind word or helps me to find resources that might help my situation.  I have been so financially desperate that I've even been stealing food from the supermarket and when I confessed this I was told to confess to the police and pay for what I'd taken (even though I have no money) and accept my punishment or I will go to hell.

It just seems that both god and his followers are so cruel and heartless I am about ready to leave Christianity for good.

Blessings LS

I'm so so so sorry for what you are going through and I do wish I would've seen this the very moment you hit " submit".  I'm here now and I am praying we can connect,perhaps in pm because some things I want to ask you might not be things you want to divulge pulblically,you might not even want to talk with me but I will say " Please,pray & ask the Lord if you feel reluctant"

Remember always,the Lord NEVER Leaves you not does He Forsake you,no matter what it might look or feel like,He Has Kept every single year you've ever shed,and will shed and He IS our ever Present Help in times of trouble!

Right now,no doubt you are thinking" Heard that before n nothing changed,how's that supposed to make me feel better or see any Hope in my future?

LF,it's not said to make you " feel" better it's to feed you with His Word,which Renews our mind and brings Remembrance by the Power of Holy Spirit - you state yovr been a Believer of many years- some times we need Help to Remember WHO we Believe

I'm gonna save the sermon to tell you I understand,more than you can ever imagine - I am a cancer patient,I am a Living Testimony of the Glory of God,of His Miracled and that through this all a Life More Abundant is Promise,God is Faithful,He Keeps His Promises!Everything is temporary in this life,even this physical life- temporary situations can change,do change,will change - our Hope Remains in Christ- you're not " losing' your Faith( besides all it takes is a tiny drop,as little as a mustard seed)to Move the mountains surrounding you! What you've lost is " Hope".... Hope is yours to grab onto ,let me help you- it would be a privilege & an honor to do anything I possibly can for you- I mean that with all of my heart

When I hear a story like yours,I know what it's like to think" if I wasn't a Christian I'd surely end this pain,this suffering,this uselessness.....and then to hear someone tell you their suffering story of their poor sister, friend of the guy with no legs who is blind .....you say" Oh okay,now I can pay my bills,my pain subsided and I can skip off to lollipop land!" -Good Intentions but so irrelevant...

I'm in the USA so I get it,it's completely different in the UK- telling you about all the help we have in this country is of no use to you but there is help in the UK,there are benevolent orgs & I Believe my own church can probably give us Outreach info for the UK,depending on where you live - I'll look into &:FIND you resources and believe me,I'm pretty good at it- but I boast for Christ as it is Him in me that Loves you and pushes me in the right Directions

So no,not all Christians are cruel, unsupportive & say only " I'll pray for you" and not all " people" are uncaring or unkind - people are just people LS,our Hope is in Christ-:keeping our eyes on Him and we will SEE who He Sends our way. Let me try to get you good info & in Jesus Name we will do this together,you are not alone

Hang in there Sister,God Did not Lead you here without Reason,you've not gone through what you have for no Reason,you've not survived it for no Reason -Ultimately ,you'll see,it is that we be His Living Testimonies that Glorify Him,in all things❤️

With love in Christ, Kwik

[hishandmaiden]

Please do not give out Jesus. He suffered and died for you and fully knows what you are going through and loves you. He is in pain because you are in pain.

 

[R. Hartono]

On 4/1/2023 at 9:39 PM, LosingFaith said:

Basically, to cut a long story short, I have been very ill for years.  I'm having long-term cancer treatment and have had a stoke, and I'm still only in my 30s.  I'm in chronic pain, partially sighted from the stroke, can't move my left arm or foot properly, and constantly exhausted and brain foggy.  I had to quit my job and university course and go on disability benefits.  It was bad enough living like this and seeing all my hopes an dreams go up in smoke, but now with the cost of living crisis I just can't keep up with my expenses.  After paying my rent and utilities this week, my overdraft is maxxed out and i don't have anything left for food.  All of the places that refer people to food banks are closed for the weekend too.

This is my entire future now.  Nothing to look forward to and constant pain and anxiety.  The advice I've been given by christians are things like "I'm praying for you,"  "have faith," "read your bible and pray" "stay Strong" and even a lot of judgment thrown my way because I'm not being strong enough and not having enough faith, and really infuriating things like "god is testing you" "God is trying to humble you."  These are all a mixture of virtue signalling and judgment.  No moral support, no useful advice about where i can get help, and quite frankly I just don't think I believe any more.  

I am at the stage where i am seriously researching and contemplating taking my own life.  I have been a christian for years and it has never helped me or improved my life in any way.  I am still cold, hungry and desperate and nobody in the church even offers so much as a hug, a genuinely kind word or helps me to find resources that might help my situation.  I have been so financially desperate that I've even been stealing food from the supermarket and when I confessed this I was told to confess to the police and pay for what I'd taken (even though I have no money) and accept my punishment or I will go to hell.

It just seems that both god and his followers are so cruel and heartless I am about ready to leave Christianity for good.

You have been bought with the blood and life of Jesus.

Though God did not promise Rose garden.

[Who me]

On 4/1/2023 at 3:39 PM, LosingFaith said:

with the cost of living crisis I just can't keep up with my expenses.  After paying my rent and utilities this week, my overdraft is maxxed out and i don't have anything left for food.  All of the places that refer people to food banks are closed for the weekend too.

I'm coming late to this thread.

You say you are on disability benefit, are you also getting Housing Benefit from your council?

Are you in touch with the social services? your doctor will supply written confirmation that you need help from them.

 

You complain, rightly, about a lot of super spiritual nonsense from christians.

Please be blunt and ask your minister how he and the church intend to help you.

Can they take you to appointments, shopping, to church, are basic helps.

Form filling, as you are partially sighted someone to sit and type for you would help.

The occassional invite for a meal or to supply a meal, help with housework, laundry etc are all things you could ask your minister about the biblical requirement to help those in need.

 

 

[WilliamL]

On 4/1/2023 at 8:39 AM, LosingFaith said:

This is my entire future now.  Nothing to look forward to and constant pain and anxiety.

There is "nothing to look forward to" in this world of any lasting value.

If your entire focus and hope is on this world, you are lost unto the hope of the World to Come, where our only true hope can be found. That is where our "entire future" exists: either living together with Jesus, or apart from Him.