Feel im too weak for christianity..

[Figure of eighty]

3 minutes ago, warrior12 said:

How about a scripture verse that makes the whole point about a man's life.

Mark 8:36-37

New King James Version

 

³⁶ For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? ³⁷ Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

I feel if my kids go to heaven I'd be good. I don't care about where I go. 

[warrior12]

8 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

I feel if my kids go to heaven I'd be good. I don't care about where I go. 

So, you think you are alone in these trials.  I made a thread recently . It's in the spiritual warfare section.  Have a read and I have not stated a lot of things that I went through and still goes through.   You are not alone sister, the devil want to keep you in fear and soon what next, nerveous breakdown and you can't help yourself.

You have to be determined to stand and see that your kids grow up to be God fearing people and lay a good foundation for them. If you are not strong, how would you nuture them .   I am sure that or think that there would be believers somewhere in your area to help you in whatever little they can.   I refuse to think that there are people and believers out there in your state that are in this forum that are not willing to assist in some way.

The thing is, nobody can believe for you, that, you have to do and trust on the God who said he will. I understand how you feel, when it seems like there is none to help you.  I have been there and I told myself, two things I am not going to do, that is contemplate suicide and blame God for my woes.   I however ask many times, why me and that I don't have the answer for.  

So, what do I do when I feel like there is no one to help me, cause how do you tell people about things they cannot see, and then to make sure the ones you do, are not into all kind of things that send you further down a hole. Or the shirks would love to meet people like me and experiment with their latest drugs and keep you coming back to them for more. Prayer and determine to stay in the pathways of biblical teachings.  

Though my situation is different from yours, it all relates to the battle for your soul.  Yes, you have the very difficult thing of survival in a meaningful way, but, it all comes down to if you would trust God to see you through, even when if feels it's hopeless or give in and hope for ??.

[RdJ]

1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

I don't think that's true. Either God is all powerful or he isn't. If he wasn't then Id be more at peace and feel like he'd want the best for me than someone that can do but won't for whatever reasons. Maybe I need to believe in that.

They took my 3 month old baby and 2 toddlers from me, an evil judge. My lawyer was only interested in her own kids and too lazy to read my 1 page. Afterwards: Oh you didn't work full time? They thought he was the houseman. Long live feminism where they steal your baby and try to force you to work more to pay child support. I prayed. I asked God to give my kids back. He did nothing. At last I assumed He did not exist after all. I saw a preaching then but I did not understand. There was a woman yanking the preacher's tie. My kids! My kids! Why? Why? Why? And he said: Because you turned your back on God. I did not understand. I did not realize I lived in sin with that guy. That was why God could not help me. When I saw I had been mislead and repented and broke up I got my kids back half the time. Years later same thing. Ex's sister tried to set him up against me again. He would go to Germany with her and take the kids. A preacher on youtube said: Don't fear. This time I did not live in sin so God could help me.

 

But it's not always because of your own sin. In your case I think you need a good church and I wonder if someone like that aunt has been cursing you or a generational curse cause it's really weird that is goes good and then bam all the time. My granddad had been in occultism. Those curses had to be broken.

But also those happily married people are always super mature, communicate well, not 1 has a controlling demon, they were not beaten up as a kid. It's zillion times easier for them. A few exceptions who really lay their life down but that's only happy clappy in the end. My ex got beaten up with fishing gear by his mother as a kid. Nowadays they would say: red flag. Everyone wants an easy partner just like they all want a golden retriever. What does God have to do with that? People who are hurt and not healed up will hurt others.

And the financial stuff. How big is that house if a whole family can live there? I have 1 bedroom. You can't have a whole house with a part time job. And what about poor Indians? Does God hate them that they have no food or are their fellow rich countryman just selfish and nasty?

Edited June 22, 2024 by RdJ

[Debp]

6 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I'm not cut out for this at all. I want to go back to my old life atleast I wasn't angry at God all the time. Im just not. I just took an anxiety pill. 

I can't and don't want to do this. 

I don't want to hold this title anymore. I hate it.. bc I can't do it. I just can't.  

I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm fine going to hell. I don't care anymore. 

I'll try not to traffic in this space anymore that's for Christians. I clearly am not one more can I seem to be one. 

I absolutely give up. I'm not doing this. I'm done.

You seem to be double minded....up and down in your thoughts about the Lord.

Do you know the verse below which I have put in bold letters?   You need to read the Word of God to know what God says....you can't accuse God of things of your own making.

 

2My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

5If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.  James 1:2-8

[Debp]

6 hours ago, RdJ said:

Maybe do a gofundme or look for a roommate from church who does pay their share and not some mooch.

Good idea.   

[Figure of eighty]

4 hours ago, RdJ said:

They took my 3 month old baby and 2 toddlers from me, an evil judge. My lawyer was only interested in her own kids and too lazy to read my 1 page. Afterwards: Oh you didn't work full time? They thought he was the houseman. Long live feminism where they steal your baby and try to force you to work more to pay child support. I prayed. I asked God to give my kids back. He did nothing. At last I assumed He did not exist after all. I saw a preaching then but I did not understand. There was a woman yanking the preacher's tie. My kids! My kids! Why? Why? Why? And he said: Because you turned your back on God. I did not understand. I did not realize I lived in sin with that guy. That was why God could not help me. When I saw I had been mislead and repented and broke up I got my kids back half the time. Years later same thing. Ex's sister tried to set him up against me again. He would go to Germany with her and take the kids. A preacher on youtube said: Don't fear. This time I did not live in sin so God could help me.

 

But it's not always because of your own sin. In your case I think you need a good church and I wonder if someone like that aunt has been cursing you or a generational curse cause it's really weird that is goes good and then bam all the time. My granddad had been in occultism. Those curses had to be broken.

But also those happily married people are always super mature, communicate well, not 1 has a controlling demon, they were not beaten up as a kid. It's zillion times easier for them. A few exceptions who really lay their life down but that's only happy clappy in the end. My ex got beaten up with fishing gear by his mother as a kid. Nowadays they would say: red flag. Everyone wants an easy partner just like they all want a golden retriever. What does God have to do with that? People who are hurt and not healed up will hurt others.

And the financial stuff. How big is that house if a whole family can live there? I have 1 bedroom. You can't have a whole house with a part time job. And what about poor Indians? Does God hate them that they have no food or are their fellow rich countryman just selfish and nasty?

Wow. Im sorry about your kids. That would drive me up a wall. I need to ask if there's any sin causing my issues. I'm not living with a man or anything but still. 

Either way this is hard.

Edited June 22, 2024 by Figure of eighty

[Figure of eighty]

5 hours ago, warrior12 said:

So, you think you are alone in these trials.  I made a thread recently . It's in the spiritual warfare section.  Have a read and I have not stated a lot of things that I went through and still goes through.   You are not alone sister, the devil want to keep you in fear and soon what next, nerveous breakdown and you can't help yourself.

You have to be determined to stand and see that your kids grow up to be God fearing people and lay a good foundation for them. If you are not strong, how would you nuture them .   I am sure that or think that there would be believers somewhere in your area to help you in whatever little they can.   I refuse to think that there are people and believers out there in your state that are in this forum that are not willing to assist in some way.

The thing is, nobody can believe for you, that, you have to do and trust on the God who said he will. I understand how you feel, when it seems like there is none to help you.  I have been there and I told myself, two things I am not going to do, that is contemplate suicide and blame God for my woes.   I however ask many times, why me and that I don't have the answer for.  

So, what do I do when I feel like there is no one to help me, cause how do you tell people about things they cannot see, and then to make sure the ones you do, are not into all kind of things that send you further down a hole. Or the shirks would love to meet people like me and experiment with their latest drugs and keep you coming back to them for more. Prayer and determine to stay in the pathways of biblical teachings.  

Though my situation is different from yours, it all relates to the battle for your soul.  Yes, you have the very difficult thing of survival in a meaningful way, but, it all comes down to if you would trust God to see you through, even when if feels it's hopeless or give in and hope for ??.

So what do you do when the pressure is on and life gets hard? What do you do? I feel I've exhausted a lot of resources. 

What do you do to keep from getting mad and angry? I feel my anxiety pills help me a bit.

[warrior12]

1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

So what do you do when the pressure is on and life gets hard? What do you do? I feel I've exhausted a lot of resources. 

What do you do to keep from getting mad and angry? I feel my anxiety pills help me a bit.

I remember those very questions when I first encountered the spiritual afflictions that petrified me and I felt so lonely and frankly lost as to what to do. I had one sister only who I confided with in my situation and she talked and prayed with me, but the issues were still there. I still had to get up and go to work exhausted from the hours of constant rebuke and prayer and believe me, these things kept me from sleeping.  I know others would say, the devil cannot do that to a person who give their life to Jesus, but it did. 

Since my problem was not of a physical type, I had a job, income and could pay all my expenses, ect.  So that part of my journey was ok, but the harrasment and abuse of the spiritual nature was just as wearisome as you are having and yes the anxiety that came by force.  I was determine, I am not going to give in to the demands of the devil for my soul at all cost, and I mean at all cost and I even use to think of Paul words,  for the worst case , absent of the body is presence with the Lord.

I do understand you just want things to be normal like it seems with everyone esle, but that is an illusion that everyone esle is normal.   Tons of people are afraid to share what goes on in their lives, as people may think they have mental issues and avoid them.

You ask what do you do.   First and foremost, you have to be concrete about your salvation and that you are heaven bound no matter what happens here on earth.  Pain and suffering, no one knows why each has the trials they have , even though the choices they made maybe have not been good ones at the time. One of my sister who has passed on now and who was a great help to me use to pound this into me, that if you keep trusting in the Lord, the devil cannot have victory over your soul.

If you become dependent on meds , then that will be an additionl burden to deal with, so you have to be careful of it's long term use.  At one point I did not sleep for about 4 months in a row day in day out, it is true and I wonder if that was even possible for a person and still had to work ect.  I even went to the doc for something to fall asleep, bought it took 1 or two and it did not help. When I read what those meds were, I threw them out and somehow, I got back into sleeping again. I know my problem was not a physical one and depended on the Lord to see me thru.  The thing is the devil comes to say, that there is no help and that is where you immerse yourself in scripture, the Psalms I read when needed confidence and assurances.

I or other here may not know the full and entire details of your living situation ,that seems to be most of your woes.  When in survival mode, you have to do things to survive legally at that.  No shame in knocking on the government services again and again. You have two small kids and they have to provide shelter and some survival means to keep you in a stable manner, while you work out other solutions.  I know you said you were doing things to better your skills ect., but your piorities has to be what is needed right now.    In the province I live in Canada, there are social worker that will visit people who are in desperate situation and take immidiate action to help that person.  You may not have fixes for the situation in your life immediately, but don't discount what God can do.  There are tons of testimonies of those situations.  

listen, do you know how many times I cried out, not acutally cried but ask God, "where are you Lord ", as I just wanted my situation to get better and have a normal life. Well I am 64 now and though the intesity of my sturggles has lessen quite a bit as the enemy knows, I am not giving in to his demands, I still have to deal with things that come to test my faith.  I would like to relate some of my more personal trials and battles I had to face , but not here as it would be here for life, which a person very private and personal life should not be.

All that said, I think your help has to come from your state and the resources there to help you.   My belief, if you are faithful to the Lord Jesus Christ, he will make a way, however that is and later on you will look back and see that he is true to his promises. Don't give in to give up on life, it is your gift and you have a right to live it, even with the trials and tribulations that seem so very hard to bear.

The following words are powerful and makes a great demand on the believer, how each sees and injest it is a different matter as it say words we don't like to hear.

Romans 8  King James Version

¹⁷ And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.

¹⁸ For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Edited June 22, 2024 by warrior12

[Figure of eighty]

11 minutes ago, warrior12 said:

I remember those very questions when I first encountered the spiritual afflictions that petrified me and I felt so lonely and frankly lost as to what to do. I had one sister only who I confided with in my situation and she talked and prayed with me, but the issues were still there. I still had to get up and go to work exhausted from the hours of constant rebuke and prayer and believe me, these things kept me from sleeping.  I know others would say, the devil cannot do that to a person who give their life to Jesus, but it did. 

Since my problem was not of a physical type, I had a job, income and could pay all my expenses, ect.  So that part of my journey was ok, but the harrasment and abuse of the spiritual nature was just as wearisome as you are having and yes the anxiety that came by force.  I was determine, I am not going to give in to the demands of the devil for my soul at all cost, and I mean at all cost and I even use to think of Paul words,  for the worst case , absent of the body is presence with the Lord.

I do understand you just want things to be normal like it seems with everyone esle, but that is an illusion that everyone esle is normal.   Tons of people are afraid to share what goes on in their lives, as people may think they have mental issues and avoid them.

You ask what do you do.   First and foremost, you have to be concrete about your salvation and that you are heaven bound no matter what happens here on earth.  Pain and suffering, no one knows why each has the trials they have , even though the choices they made maybe have not been good ones at the time. One of my sister who has passed on now and who was a great help to me use to pound this into me, that if you keep trusting in the Lord, the devil cannot have victory over your soul.

If you become dependent on meds , then that will be an additionl burden to deal with, so you have to be careful of it's long term use.  At one point I did not sleep for about 4 months in a row day in day out, it is true and I wonder if that was even possible for a person and still had to work ect.  I even went to the doc for something to fall asleep, bought it took 1 or two and it did not help. When I read what those meds were, I threw them out and somehow, I got back into sleeping again. I know my problem was not a physical one and depended on the Lord to see me thru.  The thing is the devil comes to say, that there is no help and that is where you immerse yourself in scripture, the Psalms I read when needed confidence and assurances.

I or other here may not know the full and entire details of your living situation ,that seems to be most of your woes.  When in survival mode, you have to do things to survive legally at that.  No shame in knocking on the government services again and again. You have two small kids and they have to provide shelter and some survival means to keep you in a stable manner, while you work out other solutions.  I know you said you were doing things to better your skills ect., but your piorities has to be what is needed right now.    In the province I live in Canada, there are social worker that will visit people who are in desperate situation and take immidiate action to help that person.  You may not have fixes for the situation in your life immediately, but don't discount what God can do.  There are tons of testimonies of those situations.  

listen, do you know how many times I cried out, not acutally cried but ask God, "where are you Lord ", as I just wanted my situation to get better and have a normal life. Well I am 64 now and though the intesity of my sturggles has lessen quite a bit as the enemy knows, I am not giving in to his demands, I still have to deal with things that come to test my faith.  I would like to relate some of my more personal trials and battles I had to face , but not here as it would be here for life, which a person very private and personal life should not be.

All that said, I think your help has to come from your state and the resources there to help you.   My belief, if you are faithful to the Lord Jesus Christ, he will make a way, however that is and later on you will look back and see that he is true to his promises. Don't give in to give up on life, it is your gift and you have a right to live it, even with the trials and tribulations that seem so very hard to bear.

The following words are powerful and makes a great demand on the believer, how each sees and injest it is a different matter as it say words we don't like to hear.

Romans 8  King James Version

¹⁷ And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.

¹⁸ For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

I wish I had that desire you have. I just don't. I am tired. I am exhausted and I am exhausting gov resources. 

[warrior12]

28 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

I wish I had that desire you have. I just don't. I am tired. I am exhausted and I am exhausting gov resources. 

You have to reason with yourself and ask the question.  What is of the most value in your life ever, even if you are comfortable with all the ammenties and security. 

The answer as spoken in the bible, your SOUL.  The value of it is priceless and you have to guard it with all your strength and the Lord assurances to help you.  Again ,the devil comes to sow doubt, despair and to kill and destroy. Read the word.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom, you need wisdom to see you through this life Figure of eight.  There is no getting around that.