How do I overcome these 2 things biblically?

[Figure of eighty]

The first thing, I feel I can be super awkward around people( have social anxiety)and I mess with my face/hands alot, dart my eyes.  Lol and when I think about it I know it most likely makes others uncomfortable but I'm just nervous. 

I do like people alot and wish I could connect with them but I feel at my age ( 32) I'm not an adult. I feel I don't know much or have much to say and sometimes when talking to people I want to withdraw so much I almost curl up ... I also have a major issue standing up for myself. It's like when people get talked to a certain way they flare up in angrr.. where as me. I feel there's nothing there. And people run over me.

 

2nd issue is just. May get a little tmi but just has been an issue for me. I want to overcome it and not let it over come me.what are practical ways I can overcome just. How do I know when I've overcome lust?

Edited June 19, 2024 by Figure of eighty

[RdJ]

1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

The first thing, I feel I can be super awkward around people( have social anxiety)and I mess with my face/hands alot, dart my eyes.  Lol and when I think about it I know it most likely makes others uncomfortable but I'm just nervous. 

I do like people alot and wish I could connect with them but I feel at my age ( 32) I'm not an adult. I feel I don't know much or have much to say and sometimes when talking to people I want to withdraw so much I almost curl up ... I also have a major issue standing up for myself. It's like when people get talked to a certain way they flare up in angrr.. where as me. I feel there's nothing there. And people run over me.

Oh that gets better when you get older. Then you don't care anymore what people think of you and around 50 you become as selfish as me and tell people off like a real Karen. We were always super shy, my sister and I. If you see her now, really funny how she changed. Don't feel guilty to place boundaries.

1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

2nd issue is just. May get a little tmi but just has been an issue for me. I want to overcome it and not let it over come me.what are practical ways I can overcome just. How do I know when I've overcome lust?

How I overcame it: stay away from dating sites or guys who were interested and I had an unclean demon kicked out of me in church after I had a sinful relationship and don't watch any filth on tv and confess who you are in Christ, also for point 1. You don't live anymore. Christ lives in you. You're a new creation in Christ. You have been made holy.

https://www.lcbcchurch.com/articles/top-31-verses-about-identity-in-christ

 

 

[WilliamL]

3 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

The first thing, I feel I can be super awkward around people( have social anxiety)and I mess with my face/hands alot, dart my eyes.  Lol and when I think about it I know it most likely makes others uncomfortable but I'm just nervous. 

I do like people alot and wish I could connect with them but I feel at my age ( 32) I'm not an adult. I feel I don't know much or have much to say and sometimes when talking to people I want to withdraw so much I almost curl up ... I also have a major issue standing up for myself. It's like when people get talked to a certain way they flare up in angrr.. where as me. I feel there's nothing there. And people run over me.

 

2nd issue is just. May get a little tmi but just has been an issue for me. I want to overcome it and not let it over come me.what are practical ways I can overcome just. How do I know when I've overcome lust?

Overcoming is a lifelong process, as is continual repentance. Just stay faithful and do the best you can each day, making sure you that you stay in the Word, and in prayer and fellowship with God and Christ. Repent when you need to, and then move on and don't fret about what is now past. God is faithful to forgive, and to help us and work with us where we are at. He loves a humble heart most of all,  more than He loves our works.

[Jayne]

3 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

The first thing, I feel I can be super awkward around people( have social anxiety)and I mess with my face/hands alot, dart my eyes.  Lol and when I think about it I know it most likely makes others uncomfortable but I'm just nervous. 

I do like people alot and wish I could connect with them but I feel at my age ( 32) I'm not an adult. I feel I don't know much or have much to say and sometimes when talking to people I want to withdraw so much I almost curl up ... I also have a major issue standing up for myself. It's like when people get talked to a certain way they flare up in angrr.. where as me. I feel there's nothing there. And people run over me.

 

2nd issue is just. May get a little tmi but just has been an issue for me. I want to overcome it and not let it over come me.what are practical ways I can overcome just. How do I know when I've overcome lust?

[1.]   The first thing?  Someone here has told you that it goes away at age 50 or so.  I'm 62 and that's not true.  People like you and me who struggle with social anxiety and social nervousness don't just "get over it" or "don't care anymore".  What you can do is to practice what to say when someone tries to run over you.  Practice in the mirror making and keeping eye contact and practice putting your hand up and saying polite, yet firm, things like:

"Wait, I didn't say that."        "Hold on now, I don't feel that way."    "Are YOU sure that's right?"

Practice being confident, yet posed and kind.  That's what people respond to the best.

[2.]  The second thing?  Here are a couple of ways to overcome this problem that the overwhelming majority of people have at one time or another.

A:  2 Timothy 2:22 = You can remember this by all those twos.  The older man, Paul, is speaking to the young man, Timothy, who is now a young preacher.  He says this:  "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

Paul said three things.  In order:  a.] Run from lust in your heart, mind, and body.  BUT you must run TO something.    b.]  righteousness, faith, and peace.  Run TO taking care of your children, reading the Bible, helping out a neighbor, watching an acceptable TV show, studying for your nursing degree, or taking a drive or run or walk.  Run TO something that does not involve the lust of the heart, mind, and body.  And then c.]  Run WITH others who are also running TO righteousness.

B.  Keep away from romance novels which are trash.  I read enough of that crap in my 20's and finally wised up in my 30's and it doesn't even enter my mind anymore.   And stay away from TV shows that glorify adultery, fornication, sexual temptations, and vile behavior.

How will you know when you have conquered lust?  When the thought of having sex with a man that you are not married to makes you embarrassed before God and turns your own stomach.

Remember  you are on my personal prayer list and I pray for you often.

Edited June 19, 2024 by Jayne

[Figure of eighty]

4 minutes ago, Jayne said:

[1.]   The first thing?  Someone here has told you that it goes away at age 50 or so.  I'm 62 and that's not true.  People like you and me who struggle with social anxiety and social nervousness don't just "get over it" or "don't care anymore".  What you can do is to practice what to say when someone tries to run over you.  Practice in the mirror making and keeping eye contact and practice putting your hand up and saying polite, yet firm, things like:

"Wait, I didn't say that."        "Hold on now, I don't feel that way."    "Are YOU sure that's right?"

Practice being confident, yet posed and kind.  That's what people respond to the best.

[2.]  The second thing?  Here are a couple of ways to overcome this problem that the overwhelming majority of people have at one time or another.

A:  2 Timothy 2:22 = You can remember this by all those twos.  The older man, Paul, is speaking to the young man, Timothy, who is now a young preacher.  He says this:  "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

Paul said three things.  In order:  a.] Run from lust in your heart, mind, and body.  BUT you must run TO something.    b.]  righteousness, faith, and peace.  Run TO taking care of your children, reading the Bible, helping out a neighbor, watching an acceptable TV show, studying for your nursing degree, or taking a drive or run or walk.  Run TO something that does not involve the lust of the heart, mind, and body.  And then c.]  Run WITH others who are also running TO righteousness.

B.  Keep away from romance novels which are trash.  I read enough of that crap in my 20's and finally wised up in my 30's and it doesn't even enter my mind anymore.   And stay away from TV shows that glorify adultery, fornication, sexual temptations, and vile behavior.

How will you know when you have conquered lust?  When the thought of having sex with a man that you are not married to makes you embarrassed before God and turns your own stomach.

Practicing is a good idea. 

[Figure of eighty]

24 minutes ago, Jayne said:

[1.]   The first thing?  Someone here has told you that it goes away at age 50 or so.  I'm 62 and that's not true.  People like you and me who struggle with social anxiety and social nervousness don't just "get over it" or "don't care anymore".  What you can do is to practice what to say when someone tries to run over you.  Practice in the mirror making and keeping eye contact and practice putting your hand up and saying polite, yet firm, things like:

"Wait, I didn't say that."        "Hold on now, I don't feel that way."    "Are YOU sure that's right?"

Practice being confident, yet posed and kind.  That's what people respond to the best.

[2.]  The second thing?  Here are a couple of ways to overcome this problem that the overwhelming majority of people have at one time or another.

A:  2 Timothy 2:22 = You can remember this by all those twos.  The older man, Paul, is speaking to the young man, Timothy, who is now a young preacher.  He says this:  "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

Paul said three things.  In order:  a.] Run from lust in your heart, mind, and body.  BUT you must run TO something.    b.]  righteousness, faith, and peace.  Run TO taking care of your children, reading the Bible, helping out a neighbor, watching an acceptable TV show, studying for your nursing degree, or taking a drive or run or walk.  Run TO something that does not involve the lust of the heart, mind, and body.  And then c.]  Run WITH others who are also running TO righteousness.

B.  Keep away from romance novels which are trash.  I read enough of that crap in my 20's and finally wised up in my 30's and it doesn't even enter my mind anymore.   And stay away from TV shows that glorify adultery, fornication, sexual temptations, and vile behavior.

How will you know when you have conquered lust?  When the thought of having sex with a man that you are not married to makes you embarrassed before God and turns your own stomach.

Remember  you are on my personal prayer list and I pray for you often.

How do I practice being confident, kind and poised?

[RdJ]

If you read these Bible texts and spend time with God and get your confidence from Him, you get to know that He values you very much, then you care less about if so and so likes you or if you think you're okay yourself.

How is my confidence? Fabulous. I am the righteousness of God. I am a new creation. 

Yeah but you did this and that wrong. Bye satan! I am forgiven. Jesus loves me. That person thinks you look stupid. Really? Ooh what a pity. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

 

 

[Coruscating]

Have you been isolating yourself from others, due to your social anxiety? If so, your first issue could be contributing to your second issue. Proverbs 18:1 says

"Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment."

[Someone who is isolating themselves will live in a self-centered way and his desires will surpass his ability for good sense. Socializing in a healthy environment (a good church — most of all: a church that allows you to volunteer in their charitable mission) would have multiple positive results.]

The best verse to help in any issue is the verse that makes us sit down and study it. If words enter like words in our mind, they will have as much power as words can have. But if we sit with our Bible and study it, if we spend time with sincere prayer, we are feeding our soul with God's food, we are spending time with the Holy Spirit and open to listen to Him. We learn in ways that go beyond the words. Then, when we are in trouble, like being in a situation we don't feel we can handle well, or lustful desires, the Holy Spirit won't be unknown; it won't feel weird to rely on God, because we already have an interaction with Him, He is familiar to us.

This will lead you to spiritual maturity. Spiritual maturity promotes emotional maturity, which will help you with those social obstacles you mention. Put your relationship with God first and you will see that much happens in your relationship with others.
That love you have for people is already a beautiful gift, He will help you in how to express it. The commandment "Love your neighbor as yourself" underlines the necessity of the knowledge that we are loved, in order to know how to love others and make them feel loved. Right now you are almost saying "I feel like I have nothing to give" and this is heartbreaking.

[I don't know if you saw my suggestion on that other topic, about making a Prayer Bible... But this topic makes a great theme. ;) ]

There is something physical one can do to improve anxiety, by working the sympathetic response of our nervous system and our body's ability to tolerate the building up of carbon dioxide. Someone who has a short and informative video is a physiotherapist called Conor Harris (his channel goes by the same name) in a video called "1 Simple Technique to Reset Your Nervous System". It is 4 minutes and 12 seconds. (Moderators: If I can't recommend videos these way, please let me know and I won't do it again.)

[Jayne]

2 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

How do I practice being confident, kind and poised?

Pray about it.  Give a speech in the mirror.  Are you maintaining eye contact with yourself.  Make a mental note to keep your hands from fidgeting about your face as you say they do.

Know that God loves you.  Take it slowly.  Each person you talk to, see how long you can maintain eye contact and polite speech.

[Debp]

8 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

The first thing, I feel I can be super awkward around people( have social anxiety)and I mess with my face/hands alot, dart my eyes.  Lol and when I think about it I know it most likely makes others uncomfortable but I'm just nervous. 

I do like people alot and wish I could connect with them but I feel at my age ( 32) I'm not an adult. I feel I don't know much or have much to say and sometimes when talking to people I want to withdraw so much I almost curl up ... I also have a major issue standing up for myself. It's like when people get talked to a certain way they flare up in angrr.. where as me. I feel there's nothing there. And people run over me.

 

2nd issue is just. May get a little tmi but just has been an issue for me. I want to overcome it and not let it over come me.what are practical ways I can overcome just. How do I know when I've overcome lust?

Always remember to ask others questions.   People usually love to talk about themselves.   Ask them about their interests, what their day or week has been like... anything to get them talking and they will carry most of the conversation!

About standing up for yourself, you can respectfully say something if someone is treating you wrongly.