Dealing with Non-Religious Parents

[Dennis1209]

I sincerely admire your faith and courage. Although my parents were not saved when I was growing up, I had Godly grandparents who influenced my decision to accept Christ as my Savior.

Others have offered some council; perhaps you can find some support, fellowship, encouragement, and like-minded Christians in a Gospel-preaching church in your area. As you are aware, we are to love and honor our parents.

May I ask how and where you accepted the Lord as your Savior?

You have planted the seed of the Gospel and are walking the walk. You have done your job; it is the Holy Spirit's job to nurture that seed and make it grow unto repentance and belief.

Trust me, your parents now see the salt and light shining through you and Jesus in and through you. You are not going through a phase, so to speak. Pray for your parents, and do not provoke them into anger.

With brotherly love,

Dennis

[farouk]

7 hours ago, LaurenMay said:

This has given me so much to think about. Actions do speak louder than words after all you’re right. 
and yes it was horrifying what he says, but we all say things in the heat of frustration sometime I don’t know I didn’t let it get to me.

Hi @LaurenMay Makes also for the importance of good local Christian fellowship; as per Acts 2.42:

"And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers."

[Fran C]

7 hours ago, LaurenMay said:

This has given me so much to think about. Actions do speak louder than words after all you’re right. 
and yes it was horrifying what he says, but we all say things in the heat of frustration sometime I don’t know I didn’t let it get to me.

Horrifying was a bit of a strong word!  Sorry.

I do believe that now is not the time to witness to your parents...I read some of the posts.  The time may come for this...right now I think the goal is to et along with them and not change your relationship.

 

[farouk]

3 hours ago, Dennis1209 said:

You have planted the seed of the Gospel and are walking the walk.

There's a lot indeed to a quiet, consistent life backing up a word in the Gospel...

[Marilyn C]

On 1/10/2025 at 7:25 AM, LaurenMay said:

This kind of piggybacks off the “How to be friends with non-believers” thread, except I was hoping to gain some more specific insight for my situation.

Both my parents are non-religious, my father in particular is quite antagonistic towards organised religion as a whole. 
I was raised in a non-religious environment but now, as the only one of faith in the family, I can’t exactly just find new parents as easily as I could move on from a group of non-believer friends.

I am trying to balance the immense love and respect I have for them with the things that trouble me because of all this. My father is disdainful of my choice, mocks me, has at least on one occasion removed a simple cross necklace I have from the house, and other things like this including saying I’d die a virgin cause no boys gonna want a christian know it all. My mother has just distanced herself from me. I’m scared to bring up my faith with them, I know they don’t wanna hear it, but at the same time I just wanna share the great things I’m learning and reading about.

anyway that’s my concern.
 

Hi Lauren,

Good to talk to you. Now I have read the thread and it`s good that others are concerned and caring to you. Here are my thoughts -

Your parents gave you life, they looked after you as a baby, a toddler, a young child, a teenager. Your parents loved and cared for you daily, working to put food on the table, a nice home to live in, give you nice things to wear, to play with etc.

Your parents were loving and got upset if you hurt yourself etc. They showed you how to hold a cup, to use a fork and knife, to tie your shoe laces, how to dress, they sent you off to school to learn more things, they rejoiced with every growth they saw in you. 

Your parents may not have liked the jobs they had to do to get money to give the family food and shelter, etc but they did those jobs, and willingly for they loved each other and you.

So, now it seems that you know best and have to teach your parents how to live. That is what would be coming across to your parents. People (Christians) are trying to get you to do something that only God can do -save your parents.

Your job is to `honour them.` (as you have heard). And that means to first appreciate what they have done and are doing for the family. Then over time thank them bit by bit for the many things you think of that they have done. 

Also, ask your dad how to do .....car maintenance, change a light globe, etc practical things that a dad would like to help his daughter as she has to function as an adult in this world.

Then for your mother, ask her to share some of her cooking with you, or clothes suggestions, or hobby, or how to manage a budget in the house, etc.

That is being respectful and honoring your parents. 

praying Marilyn. 

[Marilyn C]

I would like to talk to those of us who desire to help others. In this case of a young believer and non-Christian parents we need to remember that God does not expect or even want a young believer to do anything but grow in Christ let alone to try and do apologetics.

Remember what the Apostle Paul said to the Ephesians -

`Servants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ; not with eye-service, as men-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, with good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men....` (Eph. 6: 5 - 7) 

While this young believer is under her parents she needs to humble herself as unto God. It is the developing of a Christ-like humble heart that speaks louder than any words at this time.

[Guest LaurenMay]

46 minutes ago, Marilyn C said:

Hi Lauren,

Good to talk to you. Now I have read the thread and it`s good that others are concerned and caring to you. Here are my thoughts -

Your parents gave you life, they looked after you as a baby, a toddler, a young child, a teenager. Your parents loved and cared for you daily, working to put food on the table, a nice home to live in, give you nice things to wear, to play with etc.

Your parents were loving and got upset if you hurt yourself etc. They showed you how to hold a cup, to use a fork and knife, to tie your shoe laces, how to dress, they sent you off to school to learn more things, they rejoiced with every growth they saw in you. 

Your parents may not have liked the jobs they had to do to get money to give the family food and shelter, etc but they did those jobs, and willingly for they loved each other and you.

So, now it seems that you know best and have to teach your parents how to live. That is what would be coming across to your parents. People (Christians) are trying to get you to do something that only God can do -save your parents.

Your job is to `honour them.` (as you have heard). And that means to first appreciate what they have done and are doing for the family. Then over time thank them bit by bit for the many things you think of that they have done. 

Also, ask your dad how to do .....car maintenance, change a light globe, etc practical things that a dad would like to help his daughter as she has to function as an adult in this world.

Then for your mother, ask her to share some of her cooking with you, or clothes suggestions, or hobby, or how to manage a budget in the house, etc.

That is being respectful and honoring your parents. 

praying Marilyn. 

This is actually a genuinely inspiring response and suggestion. Bless you for this. 

[Luther]

On 1/9/2025 at 3:25 PM, LaurenMay said:

This kind of piggybacks off the “How to be friends with non-believers” thread, except I was hoping to gain some more specific insight for my situation.

Both my parents are non-religious, my father in particular is quite antagonistic towards organised religion as a whole. 
I was raised in a non-religious environment but now, as the only one of faith in the family, I can’t exactly just find new parents as easily as I could move on from a group of non-believer friends.

I am trying to balance the immense love and respect I have for them with the things that trouble me because of all this. My father is disdainful of my choice, mocks me, has at least on one occasion removed a simple cross necklace I have from the house, and other things like this including saying I’d die a virgin cause no boys gonna want a christian know it all. My mother has just distanced herself from me. I’m scared to bring up my faith with them, I know they don’t wanna hear it, but at the same time I just wanna share the great things I’m learning and reading about.

anyway that’s my concern.
 

Wow just saw this. With all due respect I find it odd for a father to not be grateful for his daughter to do the right thing. It's fear I think. I believe he and possibly your mom are going to break down one day and receive the Lord Jesus Christ. 

[kwikphilly]

On 1/11/2025 at 5:29 PM, Fran C said:

Hi LaurenMay

I don't usually give advice but the above seems to be an easy one for me and I'll give you my opinion without having read what anyone else advised you.

The commandment is not that we should love our parents...the commandment is that we should honor them.  Google what this means, I won't get into it here.  Nice if you could love them too, but even if we don't we still have to honor them.

I'm not saying you don't honor your parents.  I'm saying that this is what you have to do.  My advice would be to leave them alone about your faith.  They don't want to hear about it so don't bring it up.  Saint Francis (I think it was him) had a great saying:  ALWAYS WITNESS, AND WHEN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, USE WORDS.  I think you'll know what that means.  Your life will be your witness.  

If you force them to hear about your faith, it'll only make them feel far from you and they'll only become more upset.  I have a friend that just does not want to hear about God...it makes her really upset.  So I leave her alone about it.  Once in a blue moon I'll mention something really quick...I'm not sure that in your case you should even do that.

Accept the fact that you cannot share this part of your life with them...there are many other moments to share.  Be positive and joyful...share with your Christian friends and acquaintances...be happy you have them.  Some don't even have that.

I think that if you do this things will change.  The time might come when you can share with them.  It's up to them. We all know about God and we all make our own decisions.  This does not mean I'm against witnessing.

Re what your father said.  I find it horrific.  Any man would be happy to be with a woman that hasn't been with 2 to 5 men by the time she's about 21, which is what is going on today.  Follow your heart and be happy.  Better alone than badly yoked.

God bless you.

I mostly agree here that if people do not want to " hear " it then it only makes matters worse - your being " comfortable" is your own issue to deal with and the Prince of Peace Can COMFORT us in the worst of places we might be and in anyone's company

In order for your parents to take you seriously they must SEE a change- do they? Or do they just hear the talk?It reminds me of Romans 11:13-14- of course it's about the Jews but no difference,an unbeliever is an unbeliever with a hardened heart- without Christ one is dead in sin..... leading by example to display LIFE in Christ ,a Life Mord Abundant Filled with unspeakable Joy and Peace thst surpasses all understanding provokes others to jealousy...." I want what she has"

The living situation is a Christians opportunity to walk on water- to shine a Light in the darkness to display WHO Jesus is if He Abides in you

I lived this experience- I heard" you really CHANGED" without saying a word about " religion " becsuse thst would provoke hostility,it's not about religion,it's about a Relationship with the One & Only Redeemer Who Lives

What has changed in your life-style that is obvious to others?Provoking others to jealousy is accomplished only by walking in Spirit & in Truth- Spiritual warfare will be hard at work so your eyes need to be on Jesus and not distracted by mocking,petty theft or insults....a tree firmly planted in good soil,in good light,watered survives the harsh winter to produce good fruit come spring --- and feeds the hungry

 

 

[Fran C]

3 hours ago, kwikphilly said:

I mostly agree here that if people do not want to " hear " it then it only makes matters worse - your being " comfortable" is your own issue to deal with and the Prince of Peace Can COMFORT us in the worst of places we might be and in anyone's company

In order for your parents to take you seriously they must SEE a change- do they? Or do they just hear the talk?It reminds me of Romans 11:13-14- of course it's about the Jews but no difference,an unbeliever is an unbeliever with a hardened heart- without Christ one is dead in sin..... leading by example to display LIFE in Christ ,a Life Mord Abundant Filled with unspeakable Joy and Peace thst surpasses all understanding provokes others to jealousy...." I want what she has"

The living situation is a Christians opportunity to walk on water- to shine a Light in the darkness to display WHO Jesus is if He Abides in you

I lived this experience- I heard" you really CHANGED" without saying a word about " religion " becsuse thst would provoke hostility,it's not about religion,it's about a Relationship with the One & Only Redeemer Who Lives

What has changed in your life-style that is obvious to others?Provoking others to jealousy is accomplished only by walking in Spirit & in Truth- Spiritual warfare will be hard at work so your eyes need to be on Jesus and not distracted by mocking,petty theft or insults....a tree firmly planted in good soil,in good light,watered survives the harsh winter to produce good fruit come spring --- and feeds the hungry

 

 

Kwikphilly

Wow!  What a great post!  Thanks so much....hope the OP reads it.