He's 19 and I'm 25...Should we date?

[Leonard]

No. Men mature slower if at all. Age does indeed matter.

Physical age is not necessarily a sign of maturity. When I was young and was dating, I thought I wanted a man older than me to protect me and take care of me, etc., but I found that many of the men older than me were actually less mature than some of the ones younger than me. Yes, it is true that men generally mature slower than women, but women live longer, so if they marry younger men, they should not have to live as widows for a long time.

I think we can not make generalizations. I think we have to judge each situation on its own merit. I admit I had issues with Jenny dating someone so young, but I am slowly seeing that it is not as bad of a match as I had thought. Yes, he has some immaturity issues, but I know some young men her age and older that have worse issues and some of them are even less mature.

I think we MUST make generalizations. Otherwise communication and intelligence both become impossible. C'mon, data can't be exchanged in any meaningful way without generalizations. We must all also recognize there are exceptions to generalizations, but generalizations are 'generally' right!

[cmariebright]

I had the opposite problem - I was 17 and he was 26 when we met and started dating. ( 9 year difference) I was still in highschool. Both of our parents were against it. My mom would not let me go to the prom with him and his mother was constently keeping tabs on us - This is no lie when we started dating - going out places his grandmother had to go everywhere with us for a whole year until I turned 18 - The only way we saw each other was through a christian singles group our association had - But the most important thing was that we were both Christians and we both had strong feelings for one another and we dated for a very long time (five years ) and finally got engaged in 2001 (when I turned 21) and then got married ( a year later) and with God as the center of our lives we're making it so I'd say to give dating him a chance..cms

[peaches]

No. Men mature slower if at all. Age does indeed matter.

Id say thats a pretty unfair assertion seeing that you dont know the gent.

I know 20 year old guys who act more mature than some 60 year olds I know.

i hope he was joking

[JimR-OCDS]

Well I'm only a few months older than my wife, but she still had to raise me after we were married.

I can only immagine that a woman 6 years older than me would've had to work a lot harder than my wife did.

[DaniJ87]

that is not really that large of an age difference... what one other person said is really important....

would you be willing to submit to the authority of this man? Even though he is younger?

Is he old enough to take the leadership role? WILL he take the leadership role?

Don't marry any man, at any age, who is not willing to be the head of your household, and lead, both spiritually and otherwise.

there are 9 years between my grandfather and grandmother... 6 years between my parents... (both the other direction, though)... and... hmm.... about 12 or 13 years between my pastor and his wife. (also he being older)...

Age doesn't mature. "Let no man despise your youth." What matures is a relationship with Christ.... let's imagine... if you have a 20 year old who became a Christian in childhood, and a 35 year old who became a Christian at 25.... will one necessarily be more mature than the other? Nope. (I know one of each of these... if anything, the 20 year old is more mature...)

Make sure that you have talked with this guy, before you decide to fall in love with him. Make sure he is seeing the relationship in the same light you are.

(just a disclaimer for this post... I am still waiting for my own match...)

I hope everything works out well for you, whatever your decision.

~Danette~

[RustyAngeL]

He's 19 and I am 25. Right now we are just friends but there is the unspoken but acknowledged possibility of more. He is very smart and that is where we click the most. We also have similar boring personality types so we get along there as well...Would it be wrong ( or just plan weird or gross) to date ( and then possibly one day marry) this person?

(I feel silly noting this but he will in fact be 20 very soon)...

Im 40 and my wife is 22. Shes more mature than most 40 year olds are.

This whole issue is a cultural thing.

and by the way, both the wife and myself are as boring as it gets

As long as your compatible and no laws are being broken (Gods or mans) then go for it if you two are good together.

and let me add that I know a LOT of couples where the woman is around a decade older.

In one case that I can think of right off, the guy was a senior in HS (18 at the time) and she was mid 20s when they started dating.

Theyre married now and have a home theyve bought and have been together going on 20 years.

As far as I can tell, they are one of the happiest couples Ive known.

My husband is 21 years olden then I am and age has never been an issue. I would be more concerned if he is not a Christian, If not you need to stop dating him until he comes into a faith in Christ.