To spare the rod is to spoil the child?

[gop_jeff]

I got spanked often as a child. In fact, my mom told me that when I was very young (3 and 4), my dad would fly off the handle when disciplining me. I do remember getting spanked often, until I was about 9, and I got spanked and I didn't cry. That was the last time he ever spanked me. Then, as a teen, I got hour-long lectures every day... UGGHH that got old! But I understand that he wanted me to grow up with the right work ethic. I know he loved me, he just didn't show it in the way that many of us do.

[artsylady]

hi Angels:

Right now I have adorable 3 and 4 year old brothers and a sweetheart of a 12 year old girl.

You?

[irishcowboy]

you know, there is a differance between punishment, abuse, and discipline........

punishment is the price you pay for the crime you did,

abuse is where you are punished greater then that for which the crime deserves,

discipline is where you learn from the crime to build on so that you do not do the same crime again......

a young boy of about 4 years old, seen the IceCream truck coming down the street...... he asked if he could have some money so he could get him and his 2 year old sister an icecream cone...... his mom and dad both were present, mom gave him the money......

when the boy got to the icecream truck, he seen some one with a chocolit dip cone, and he thought that looked grand, so he asked for one like that and a regular icecream cone......

when he got back to the yard he gave the regular cone to his little sister, and dad seen the chocolit dip cone and not only scolded him but spanked him and then placed him in the laundry room to eat it on his in solitude cause he was crying from the spanking.......

do you know that the child only learned that chocolit dip icecream cones tasted horrible.... why???? cause of the way it was handled..... up to this date that person does not like "dipped" cones... that was 40 years ago......

***********

a young boy of about 8 was caught carving his initials in a young fruit tree, his step dad found out ( not hard to figure out who did it when it has their initials on it ) and confronted the boy...... he fessed up to it...... received a few swats ( he knew it was wrong to deface property ) and then his dad and him talked about it...... the boy has not defaced anything since.....

***********

a child knows he is not suppose to skip school, but yet with his friends he takes off.... when found out, he is grounded for his deed..... he knows the reason why.....

then for good behavior, is released early from the restriction, just in time for the 4th of July, he purchases a load of fireworks, and sets a booby trap ( nothing major, just something that will pop real good when doors are opened and cigarettes are lit.... ) needless to say that he looses his freedom for the remaining time that was left on the restriction.....

************

a child continues to wet the bed, at an age when it should be done..... the child is restricted from liquids after a certain time in the evening, is awaken at a later hour to use the bath room and then early in the morning awaken to go again, and then between 5am and 8am she wets....

time and time again this happens and happens..... no switchings, no yelling no screaming or holloring..... finally the child manages to make it one night, then a while later, two nights and over a period of time, the child no longer has accidents......

*************

a child and a friend sset an old birds nest on fire in a cast iron mail box.... they are seen...... reported..... arrested.... they spend several hours at the Police, when the child got home he was talked to, and grounded...... after court was over ( setting fire to a mail box is a felony in most places ) the child was released from the restrictions, but was on court ordered unsupervised probation.....

**************

a child spills their milk ( age 5 ) when every one is eating at TV trays watching TV...... the child is spanked and yelled at.......

*************

folks......

whether or not you spank your child or not, whether you ground your child or not, whether you scold your child or not, whether you just talk to your child or do the time out thing....... let the punishment fit the crime, dont over do it, but dont under do it either........ some of this will be trial and error on the parents part.... but doing nothing is worse then over doing it a bit........ a child needs boundries...... so do adults........

I do know this....... there probably were many times i got whoooped for things I didnt do, or that was above what the punishment for the crime was....... but I tell you this, I am not in jail, i am not dead, I am following the Lord, and I love my step father ( I call him dad or daddy ) my natural father ( call him father ) is dead, lived a life of sin, and received his last rights..... he lived an abusive life and mom chose to try and break the chain of abuse and she did.... and us children did also..... all of us children are following the Lord...... some of our children are even looking at the ministry for their chosen profession/calling.....what a wonderful thing to see ones own child walking the walk...

have I spanked my children???? yes, only when needed....

mike

[hazel]

Thanks for posting this, Mike. I'm encouraged to know that Godly discipline worked in your home growing up. It's hard for a parent to know exactly how to handle every situation, so I'm thankful that we have the Word of God to guide us. I'm glad that you and your siblings all know The Lord. God bless you!

[Guest idolsmasher]

Update on Canada, this was just today.

Supreme Court upholds spanking law

OTTAWA - Canada's top court has upheld a law allowing parents to spank their children, but also set guidelines outlining "reasonable limits" to the act.

In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court of Canada refused to repeal Section 43 of the Criminal Code that allows parents and school teachers to physically discipline children in their care by using "reasonable" force.

In its decision Friday, the court ruled that reasonable corrective force can be used against children between the ages of two and 12 years old.

The court said it was unacceptable to hit a child with an object, like a belt or paddle. Blows and slaps to the child's head would also be unacceptable.

For corporal punishment to be legally acceptable, it must involve only "minor corrective force of a transitory and trifling nature," the court ruled.

Ailsa Watkinson, the Saskatchewan mother who began the legal challenge nine years ago, said she was disappointed in Friday's ruling. "'Don't hit a child on the head, don't use a ruler, don't use a belt.' It seems so strange to me that we have to have a Supreme Court ruling setting those parameters," said Watkinson. "That just seems to be imminent good sense."

"And that's the problem with Section 43. It still gives us outs. It still allows the idea and perpetuates the notion that children are second-class citizens."

The Canadian Foundation for Children, Youth and the Law brought the case to the top court, seeking to strike down the law.

"I am very heartened by all those narrowings and restrictions, but I am somewhat disappointed that the court did not recognize children as human beings with equal rights," said the foundation's spokesperson Martha Mackinnon.

Lawyers for the children's organization argued that the Criminal Code provision is a violation of the Charter of Rights and Freedom, and makes children "second class citizens."

"This case is about the right of children not to be hit, a right that in a modern, 21st-century democracy should be unquestioned," said lawyer Paul Schabas when he argued the case before the Supreme Court.

But the federal government argued Section 43 should stay in place, saying the law strikes a balance between the needs of parents and the rights of children.

The Justice Department says it does not advocate spanking, but that repealing the law could make parents liable to criminal charges each time they spank their children.

Many teachers and education officials have defended keeping Section 43 as it is.

Terry Price of the Canadian Teachers Federation, another group that had intervenor status in the case, worried that repealing Section 43 could result in teachers being charged with assault for breaking up a schoolyard fight.

"And I as a parent would certainly want to know that someone is going to intervene if my child was involved in an altercation," said Price.

Section 43 of the Criminal Code was passed in 1892 and has been amended several times.

Michael Martens of Focus on the Family, an organization that supported the law, said he was "strongly encouraged" by the decision.

"The Supreme Court has recognized the need to protect parents in their role in raising children," said Martens. "Especially that they are not criminals."

The Ontario Court of Appeal upheld Section 43 in January 2002. The court ruled that parents and teachers are free to spank children for disciplinary purposes if they limit themselves to "reasonable force."

Written by CBC News Online staff

[angels4u]

Thanks you for posting the latest news on spanking laws.

I do agree with parents spanking the child withing reason, but I do disagree for the teachers to spank a child!

Angels

[Guest LadyC]

Thanks you for posting the latest news on spanking laws.

I do agree with parents spanking the child withing reason, but I do disagree for the teachers to spank a child!

Angels

i don't, provided the parent is there to witness it. when i was in texas, my oldest had one coming. the principal wanted to give her in school suspension, which would have been like disneyland to her. we went to the school and insisted that she get the paddle, with us as witnesses.

never had another problem with her in that school!

[angels4u]

Sorry Lady C , ,

I can't agree on that, I would not like my children ever to be spanked by a teacher in the school .

I wonder what everybody else thinks about this?

Angels

[Guest LadyC]

i felt that the school needed to enforce some sort of discipline. they would never have been permitted to spank her without me or my husband as witnesses... and they didn't want to paddle her anyway. but the bottom line is, she'd been late to one class or another 28 times in 15 days, and had a couple of unexplained absences to boot.

one could say it was our responsibility to dish out punishment. all i can say is, we did. her infractions were done at school. i find it reprehensible that schools are too afraid to enforce policy in this day and age. by insisting that the school issue the punishment with us in attendance to witness it, the punishment was very effective.

back in the old days, when i was in school, paddlings were standard for serious infractions. my brother got one once. he said it hurt like the dickens. he never got another one. knowing that he did was enough to ensure that i never did.

i will always totally support the use of corporal punishment from school officials, when appropriate, provided the parents are notified and are able to witness it.

thing is, my daughter respected us for having handled it as we did. she knew we were always fair. if we felt that she was being treated unfairly at the school, we were well known for going up there together and putting the principal in his place. and we did, many times.

rana wasn't the only one that day to be "punished". like i said, she'd been tardy 28 times and had a couple of absences unaccounted for. but the vice principal was also out of line. we went through the list of eight absences and pointed out that six of them were legitimate and had the proper doctors excuses. we also pointed out that we knew of rana's tardies prior to, because she had complained to us that the boy with the locker above her was always making out with his girlfriend and she couldn't get to her books. she'd complained several times in the office, and nothing was ever done about it.

as a result, rana got one swat with the paddle for the two unexplained absences, but she also was issued a new locker on another hall, and had the remaining absences excused. the vice principal was forbidden to ever have anything further to do with any discipline of my daughter... if there was a problem, it was to be handled ONLY by the senior principal.

you may not agree with the way i handle it, and can wonder what others may think. but bottom line is this... if every person on this forum disagrees with me, it is still irrelevant. i did what was right for my daughter, and i'd do it again if it were necessary.

[Arthur Durnan]

My public teachers used the STRAP on me. Likewise I've disciplined my own children, altho not with said strap. They now discipline their own kids in a variety of ways. They're all going on for Christ in their respective churches. Why all the fuss?

God bless Focus On The Family indeed!

http://arthurdurnan.freeyellow.com