Why do so many married men flirt with women?

[angels4u]

Why do so many married men like to flirt with woman?

Even among Christians I have seen this often.

So many do it so blatenly and don't realize people notice it.

Why do alot of men try to solve problems in somebody else their marrige but don't look at their own?

??

Angels

[godrulz]

Many men struggle with the root sin of lust. We do not make a covenant with our eyes to not look lustfully on a woman as Job did.

Attraction between sexes is normal and not sinful. If one flirts and entertains lust or attraction too far, it becomes wrong.

We men need to have more integrity and love our wives exclusively and not fish or lead on with any other women. We treat other women as sisters in the Lord, not girlfriends.

Some men are immature and have not lived out their singleness or are bored in their marriages.

This works both ways. Women can be just as flirtatious.

[Work in Progress]

Angels, I share your frustration. "Beauty" is supposed to be such a big deal but I can tell you it is NOT. Especially if you are a Christian. It is an extra burden. It is just unbelieveable how many married men have absolutely no scruples about propositioning other women. It never ceases to amaze me. Don't these men know that it is a HUGE turn off to know that their morals are so low???

I have to say, though, that I have never experienced this with any Christian man. I'm sorry that you have. How sad.

[irishcowboy]

some of what is going on, is due to the way people dress...... some is that they are seeing what they can get away with....... some may be in a situation where the spouse is closing them selves off to their husbands, some to an extend of once in ten years is plenty ( as far as she is concerned )......

there are some women that would rather flirt with a married man because they are already spoken for and know that they can have some fun with out having some guy trying to commit to them......

some people could mistake kindness for flirting.....

then there are certain conversations that a man would not wish to talk with a "buddy " about..... and some women are very comfortable to talk to.....

I know of a marriage that hit the dirt harder then a meteor hitting the earth...... after almost 20 years of "marriage" and the last ten of it being intimate only once or twice, ( for fear of being charged with rape ) he gave up on trying to serve his wife with out receiving anything in return..... as far as I know this man was faithful. there had been many times I have seen women hitting on him, only for him to tell them that he was a married man and not interested in having any relationship with them..... he would listen to them patiently, and as a brother...... his wife accused him ( after the divorce ) that he had been cheating on her....

after the divorce this man has not been looking for any relationship with any one.....

all he wants to do is serve the Lord now.... with no strings attached with anyone but the Lord..... but being he is divorced, he can not follow his call in the "denomination" he is associated with.... he loves his church family dearly and wont leave them at this point...

now.... there are still "females" that flirt with him, and he still treats them with high respect and does listen when spoken to and such..... he treats them all as his sister and acts as their brother....... very much in love with the Lord, and loves all people, men and women.....

I personally have seen situations where young women are dressed in such a way that they look as thou they should be on a street corner instead of a church building.... yea, make up included, and most of these young ladies are under the age of 16..............

mom and dad are sitting right next to them in church also.....

so, where are the rules? this is where church doctrine should come in......

mike

[eric]

Surely you mean church discipline Mike, not doctrine. There's too much doctrine already splitting or dividing the body. That's why I dont attend any so-called chuch today. You go the coc and they dont like this so you go to clc and they dont like that so you go to the aog, the upc or the apostolic. Hooey! I have church at home because that's where the church is at, Where two or more are gathered in My Name, there am I in the midst. Besides I have Worthy Boards and heaps of brothers and sisters in the Lord and I dont know or care if they wear make-up or not...... Praise God for the Body of Christ..... Amen.

[Guest dove2]

Amen Eric, Church at home. Where two are three are gathered Jesus is in our midst even if it is in the middle of a field. Gary and I have been fishing and started praising the Lord and having fellowship and had a joyous time in the Lord. It does't matter where we worship the Lord as long as we do.

[eric]

Hal-la-lul-yah! Patsy.

[RGR]

For too many men, I'm afraid, it's the thrill of the chase. They never intend to let it go further than "simple" little flirting. Of course, one thing leads to another and then they have a very messy situation on their hands to deal with. Of course, I might add, it's not just men who flirt. It is women as well. And the sad thing about it is, though a person who has been wronged tries to forgive, it can be so hard sometimes, even as a Christian, for the wronged spouse to forgive and forget. So, the best measure I could suggest is not to flirt at all if you're married (unless it's with your spouse!).

[irishcowboy]

sorry to have placed the wrong word in the post,

you recall, we are also told not to forsake gathering together...... we are not to isolate ourselves......

a flock of sheep together have strength, as one or two wonder away, they become easy prey for the wolves, and a sheep being one of the dumbest animals alive, can not find their way back to the flock with out help....

away from the flock, they are weak, and vulnerable.....

we all need each other, not just message board stuff.....

as one persons said, "we need real people, not computer people"

yes, where two or three are gathered..................

but we also need the support and such from our brothers and sisters in Christ......

if I were to find a "perfect" church, I would be the only member........ if you are to find a perfect church you will be the only member.......

I enjoy all the time I spend in worship and praise and prayer, and study with my wife and kids at home every day, but I also, very much, crave the worship, praise, and prayer and study with our congregation....

now lets bet back to the subject of this thread.......

Flirting should be left to those that are still of this world, not of those that have come to Christ.....

*****NOTE*****

I believe that a husband and wife are "authorized" to flirt with one another, but not with anyone else .....AT ALL.....

and those that are not husband wife, becareful on how you flirt... on your entire body language.... this would be peticularlly important when dancing and other activities where body movement is very much noticed......

*******

another thought,

what would a man concider flirting?

compared to what a woman would concider flirting?

what may be completely inocent conversation, even in mixed company, a wife may concider her husband to be flirting, or maybe the husband might concider his wife to be flirting??????

lets say, even at a church dinner three couples are standing and talking after the meal is over, and one of the men crack a joke ( clean of course ) and the women start laughing..... one woman even gives a friendly slap on his back, saying that is a good one...

or

after church, a wife, seeing a gentleman she has not seen in quite some time, been friends with for years, goes up and give him a hug...... her husband not knowing this guy.......

both totally inocent jestures....... Inocent, yes...... but how are they perceived????

when i was working in sales, we tryed to make the perceived value of the items equal to or greater then what the resale value was... with out being deceptive.

some people an item that list for 200 dollars resale, would not pay 25 cents...... others would pay twice that, and thinking they got a bargin..... it was the perceived value that the customer is looking at.......

being self employed, I am constantly on the sales drive, my services are better then some one elses, the perception of me has to be greater then the next guy for me to get the first call, or the other guy gets the first call.

being inocent is fine, no perception there... you are either inocent of guilty of an act..... no inbetween......

however, we are told to remain BLAMELESS...... this is where the perception comes in..... is this person really flirting? or is this person totally inocent of flirting, but the outside perception (impression) is that this person is loose?

some of the things that could be misconstrued as flirting could be the way a person dresses, moves, acts towards others, singles out the oposite gender ( a lady that would rather hang with the guys, or a guy that likes to be around women rather then men ) personal touch, body language..... some things are more obvious then other things....... forward conversation and jokes can alot of times be mistaken for flirting, and some of this type of conversations should not be shared with anyone other then a persons spouse, or pastor or maybe their accoutability partner.....

some of what is thought to be flirting is just poor judgement on the person that is doing it....

in most work places, men and women have been intermingled so much now, that there is a very thin line as to what is acceptible and what is not..... there is much, way tooooo much that is not acceptible..... women chasing men, men chasing women.... all in fun.... that is until some one gets hurt, then the perverbial snow ball starts rolling and as it rolls, it increases in size, picking up every thing in its path......... just like the first rule of plumbing........ ( crap flows down hill and payday is on friday ) ...... when you live the life that is not upstanding, then you fall down....

flirting may seem perfectly inocent, flirting may seem as thou no one will be hurt by it..... look again... both, men and women..... it does hurt...... very much so...... even the person that is being flirted with........

as far as one gender flirting more then the other? I dont think so anymore...... I believe it is pretty much a draw... ( pretty much even )......

mike

[IslandRose]

sorry to have placed the wrong word in the post,

you recall, we are also told not to forsake gathering together...... we are not to isolate ourselves......

a flock of sheep together have strength, as one or two wonder away, they become easy prey for the wolves, and a sheep being one of the dumbest animals alive, can not find their way back to the flock with out help....

away from the flock, they are weak, and vulnerable.....

we all need each other, not just message board stuff.....

as one persons said, "we need real people, not computer people"

yes, where two or three are gathered..................

but we also need the support and such from our brothers and sisters in Christ......

if I were to find a "perfect" church, I would be the only member........ if you are to find a perfect church you will be the only member.......

I enjoy all the time I spend in worship and praise and prayer, and study with my wife and kids at home every day, but I also, very much, crave the worship, praise, and prayer and study with our congregation....

now lets bet back to the subject of this thread.......

Flirting should be left to those that are still of this world, not of those that have come to Christ.....

*****NOTE*****

I believe that a husband and wife are "authorized" to flirt with one another, but not with anyone else .....AT ALL.....

and those that are not husband wife, becareful on how you flirt... on your entire body language.... this would be peticularlly important when dancing and other activities where body movement is very much noticed......

*******

another thought,

what would a man concider flirting?

compared to what a woman would concider flirting?

what may be completely inocent conversation, even in mixed company, a wife may concider her husband to be flirting, or maybe the husband might concider his wife to be flirting??????

lets say, even at a church dinner three couples are standing and talking after the meal is over, and one of the men crack a joke ( clean of course ) and the women start laughing..... one woman even gives a friendly slap on his back, saying that is a good one...

or

after church, a wife, seeing a gentleman she has not seen in quite some time, been friends with for years, goes up and give him a hug...... her husband not knowing this guy.......

both totally inocent jestures....... Inocent, yes...... but how are they perceived????

when i was working in sales, we tryed to make the perceived value of the items equal to or greater then what the resale value was... with out being deceptive.

some people an item that list for 200 dollars resale, would not pay 25 cents...... others would pay twice that, and thinking they got a bargin..... it was the perceived value that the customer is looking at.......

being self employed, I am constantly on the sales drive, my services are better then some one elses, the perception of me has to be greater then the next guy for me to get the first call, or the other guy gets the first call.

being inocent is fine, no perception there... you are either inocent of guilty of an act..... no inbetween......

however, we are told to remain BLAMELESS...... this is where the perception comes in..... is this person really flirting? or is this person totally inocent of flirting, but the outside perception (impression) is that this person is loose?

some of the things that could be misconstrued as flirting could be the way a person dresses, moves, acts towards others, singles out the oposite gender ( a lady that would rather hang with the guys, or a guy that likes to be around women rather then men ) personal touch, body language..... some things are more obvious then other things....... forward conversation and jokes can alot of times be mistaken for flirting, and some of this type of conversations should not be shared with anyone other then a persons spouse, or pastor or maybe their accoutability partner.....

some of what is thought to be flirting is just poor judgement on the person that is doing it....

in most work places, men and women have been intermingled so much now, that there is a very thin line as to what is acceptible and what is not..... there is much, way tooooo much that is not acceptible..... women chasing men, men chasing women.... all in fun.... that is until some one gets hurt, then the perverbial snow ball starts rolling and as it rolls, it increases in size, picking up every thing in its path......... just like the first rule of plumbing........ ( crap flows down hill and payday is on friday ) ...... when you live the life that is not upstanding, then you fall down....

flirting may seem perfectly inocent, flirting may seem as thou no one will be hurt by it..... look again... both, men and women..... it does hurt...... very much so...... even the person that is being flirted with........

as far as one gender flirting more then the other? I dont think so anymore...... I believe it is pretty much a draw... ( pretty much even )......

mike

Amen! I agree with every point you made!

IR